Human Status
By Danicka Castro
Copyright 2011, Smashwords edition
Cover art by Rita Y. Toews. See more of her work at http://www.yourebookcover.com/
Formatting services by Katrina Joyner: formatting@akashikonline.com
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Human Status
Danicka Castro
My First Day at Home
I live in a world where I am nameless. I live in a world where I do not matter except or unless I am owned by someone. I do not have rights, freedoms, joys, wishes, or aspirations. I am property. I was born and raised to belong to someone that will one day take me away like the fairy tale stories that I listened to everyday in the house I live in. I prayed every night that a handsome prince would come and take me to live in his castle just like in the books. I prayed that I would be a princess and have a kingdom just like in the books. But I was never told that the books were all lies. I was never told the true reason why I was a well sought after commodity. I was never told that I am not the only one like me. When I found out it was too late to save myself.
To think and in less than 4 days I will be taken away from my current home and be in a home of my own. I sat on the simple wooden bed hoping that my owner was nice and kind. I hated to think about some of the stories that I heard about the other girls like me. I hated thinking about being exterminated because I made my owner unhappy. I thought to myself that I would try real hard to keep him happy.
I remember the covenant of rules that would keep me and my owner happy. I would need to follow five rules. 1. Always obey my owner. 2. Always be available to my owner. 3. Never talk back. 4. Always agree with my owner. 5. I am not human so I cannot do human things.
I wondered how pretty human women were. I was so nervous about my departure I nearly refused to leave my room. I could leave if I did not have anything wrong with me physically.
I remember the den mother telling me not to do anything that would cause a refund or else I would be exterminated upon refund. My new owner had thirty days to return me. If he returned me and no one else was interested I would be exterminated. I would be killed because it would be thought that I was defective and no one would want a defective product.
Just as I was about to stand up and go to dinner that was promptly served at five everyday my den mother walked in. She looked concerned. She was a very pretty woman with soft brown eyes and long flowing brown hair.
I noticed she has a black bag with a long silver zipper. She looked sternly at me. I straightened up. My soft brown hair that Den mother called “sun kissed” fell around my shoulders.
She had always been upset with me when I slouched over, failed to comb my hair, or acted “un-lady” like. Den mother would tell me that I needed to be a “lady” and “sit- up”. She handed me the bag and huffed, “He is here early- put this on and come to the door in the foyer.”
Standing up shaking I took the black bag and turned immediately to place it on my bed. My head was spinning. Why is he here early? What if I make him mad and he brings me back? What should I say when I meet him? Will he be nice? I needed more time to learn to read and write. This is not an easy feat. I tried but I am not as smart as everyone else.
A whir of things ran through my mind as I thought about how unprepared I was to leave and start my new life. Why did I not learn harder? I needed to still take my reading classes, child care classes, and intimacy classes. What am I suppose to do?
When I unzipped the long black bag a creamy colored garment was inside. It was beautiful. I had never seen anything so nice. Nicer than the things I currently had on. The plain shirt that we all owned and the plain pants that we all wore. I did not know how to put it on. My garments did not have the hard plastic circles on them and they did not have pretty shiny things. I was always in a plain white top and plain brown bottom.
Just as I was starting to panic Mila slipped in. Mila was a girl just like me but she was adventurous and loved sneaking and watching the color box in den mother’s room after our den mother fell asleep late at night watching it.
Mila had long dark hair with long thick eyelashes. She was very fair with brown freckles on her nose and cheeks. She had a small mark on her hand that was the shape of a heart. She called it her “love” mark. She would sneak in my room and tell me about the things she saw. Sometimes it was as if I was watching the color box also. Mila told me every detail. We would laugh at the things that the humans were doing on the box and cry about sad things that happened.
It was never the same story over and over again it was more like the story of never ending stories. It was magical but it was scary too. I wanted to stay out of trouble and learn all the information I needed to be a good product. I wanted to make my owner happy.
Just as Mila came in she saw my struggle and frustration with the garment trying to figure out how to open it and get into it, she rushed over. “Let me help you!” She hissed as she pushed past me to the dress.
Mila worked the round things like magic and I was able to slip into the garment. It fell right onto my body like water. It was so nice. I never wanted to take it off. I felt like a princess. Mila stepped back and admired her work. She looked so happy for me. I have never seen my face or my body other than what I can see when I look down but the look on her face said that I looked nice. Mila helped me with my hair and gave me a lipstick tube that she stole from Den Mother. She smiled at me one last time and planted a wet kiss on my lips. She whispered she loved me and pushed me away. I could tell as she stole out of the room that she was crying. I wanted to cry as well but I needed to follow my directions.
I was so happy I was going to my new home. All the girls dreamed of the day that they would leave and be with their owners. They dream of having sex and taking care of babies. They dream about shopping and decorating their homes. The girls did not know whether or not these things occurred but they hoped that they did.
We were not told anything about our owners except that we would end up with them one day and that we were to obey their every desire. That is it. Our instructors made sure that we knew the role of desire, making sure that every product was perfect; every product was a finished rough draft to be handed over to a high paying customer.
Just as I was coming around from my thought Mila burst in and gave a little squeal and rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around me. We knew that we would never see each other again she would soon be with her new owner one day and then we would no longer be in contact with each other. Hopefully we would end up with owners that loved us and made good lives for us.
Sometimes this did not happen and the product was returned. But we never saw anyone that was returned because they were usually exterminated to keep down costs. That was the rumor spread during cooking and child care classes by the other girls.
As I made my way out the door and down the creaky steps to the front door foyer my heart quickened with every step. I knew that he already viewed photos of me and selected my traits so there were no surprises there but I hope he liked me.
I was at the tip of the steps but it felt like I was not in my own body. I witnessed myself walk down the steps, stop at the end, and move closer to the den mother, a man I had never seen before, an older man, and a younger man. I was not sure which one was my new owner. I was too scared to ask. Everyone was staring at me. I felt self conscience not knowing what my immediate future was going to be like.
I stood there silently waiting staring at the floor waiting for the rest of my life to begin. Waiting for my prince to take me away. The older man spoke first, “As you can tell all of our products are of quality and shall serve you nicely.”
The youngest of the three men looked at me. He was beautiful. He had deep blue eyes, blond hair, and rippling muscles that showed through his suit shirt. He had on a black suit, with a crisp white shirt, and really nice shoes. All three of the men were dressed nicely and professional in their demeanor. It was as if they were conducting an everyday affair over stocks or bonds. But in all truth they were conducting business and it was a daily business. Females were born, given to us as small infants, and then they were sold when they were old enough. It was like a farm for humans. We learned from each other as we aged at an accelerated rate. The chemicals used on our young bodies had its desired effect. Breasts were grown at a faster rate, the body matured at an accelerated rate, and the reproductive cycle was accelerated as well.
I felt hot, I knew my face was hot, I could feel it. He spoke second, “Yes, I will enjoy my time with her.”
The older man who spoke first spoke again, “Well then…you’ll find your paperwork is in order, your receipts, and remotes are in the packet, your technical support number is located in your owner’s manual. Please take care and enjoy your new life.”
With that the younger man extended his hand to me. The moment I took his hand I knew that my life was changed forever. I knew that nothing would remain the same. I just had no idea what I would become during this journey. I have never touched a man let alone felt anything from touching another person. He guided me out of the home that I knew my entire life. Outside there were two large black vehicles parked. The young man walked with me to the closet parked vehicle and opened the door. He told me plainly, “Get in and wait.” He closed the door behind me. As I sat and waited I smelled the soft leather of the seat, the interior of the truck was nice. It had grey leather seats, wood grain accents, and electronic displays. It was still running. Soft music was playing in the background with a soft beat.
I looked at the home that I was leaving. I was not able to tell from the inside how huge the house actually was but from the outside I could tell that it was large. I looked at the massive amounts of windows and tried to locate my old window. I was not able to locate my window because they all looked the same.
Although I had no concept of time I could only remember possibly the last four years. I remember this because I counted the seasons. I looked at the few bushes that turned colors and realized that I had witnessed this cycle three or four times. I realized that I grew fast because one day I was shorter than the shower head that was in my room and then I remember being taller than it. My attention turned to the transaction in front of me. My new owner was talking with the man that he came with.
I watched as the older man handed the younger man the large manila envelope. He hugged him and said something to him turned and walked to the other vehicle. The younger man turned and came to the vehicle I was sitting in he climbed into the vehicle and we drove off.
As we drove I looked at his profile. He was so handsome. He did not speak but there was something about him that drew me in. It was dangerous but it felt good to be with him. His hands looked soft so he must be a businessman and not a laborer. I wanted to ask him questions, but decided against prying. Also, Mila told me men did not like chatterbox women or women that talked too much. So I relaxed back and enjoyed the scenery.
We seemed to drive forever. It was my first time in a vehicle. It was nice. I tried to sit back and relax but the uncomfortable silence was killing me. I wanted my owner to talk to me and look at me. I was too scared to look around although I was very tempted. He did not say anything to me as he drove but he kept glancing at me. I could feel his eyes on my body. I hoped that we would have things in common and that we would be able to spend time together getting to know each other.
As I gazed out of the window we drove past things I never seen before. Places that sparked my interest. But I sat silently hoping that my owner would talk to me or reach out to me in some kind of way. We moved past them too fast for me to notice what the people were doing. It was amazing I wanted to see everything all at once. Being that I am not human so I am not welcome everywhere.
We were taught that in classes. I cannot ask for anything because it is rude. I have to be good and sit still until my owner address me. I was hoping that it was soon as he seemed content on not speaking with me.
It seemed like hours and hours before he spoke to me. He said quietly, “Are you hungry?”
I was not but I wanted to stop riding so that I could see what the humans were doing at the various establishments. Everything seemed so nice. Everything looked new. I heard my voice sound soft and timid. “I-I am.” The man sighed as he pulled over to one of the shiny places. We went around the building and to a large box with words all over them. It was neat. There were pictures and even pictures of humans. The man spoke into the box and told the box directions or something. We crept around to a little window where a human man was standing.
He was young looking with dark green eyes and freckles. His curly hair was bouncing in his face. He seemed surprised to see me as well. We met eyes for a few minutes. His mouth dropped open but he closed it and took the money from my owner. I must have been staring at him because he looked back at me and smiled. I sat back quickly. I remember the den mother telling me that men are very possessive and will get angry if you interact with other men. They will do things to protect the women that they love or owned. I knew that this small interaction would make my owner angry. Somehow I knew that he would be upset. I hoped that he was not going to be angry with me. I hope he know that I have never seen these things before and I was just curios. I can’t run and leave- he can find me no matter where I go. He could find me and kill me for running away. I know because den mother told me during one of her various lectures when she caught me daydreaming instead of paying attention.
I realized my heart was pounding in anticipation of a reprimand of some kind. It felt like my throat was going to close up. I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to tell him that I never seen a place like that before. I wanted to tell him the big yellow sign thing was amazing.
I never got the chance. We move to the next window and bags and waxy plastic cups were given to us. We pulled off and as soon as I was about to apologize I felt a hot sting across my face. The slap was so fast I did not see it coming. Until that point I had not gotten hit by anyone. Every so often Mila would slap me on the butt playfully. But I never got hit by a man or a woman this way. My heart was crushed as I grabbed my face.
I could not stop it. I deserved it. I had gotten out of line. My new owner was angry with me. I dared not move. I wanted to taste the food but as usual I was too stupid to do anything but sit there as he placed things in my lap. The hot tears silently rolled down my face and hit the paper bags. I was too scared to move. I did not want to get hit again. He yelled at me, “I don’t want to ever catch you looking at another man, talking to another man, or spending time with another man, do you understand me?”
I whispered my response, “Yes. I am sorry.”
He hissed, “Good I do not want to have this conversation again, understood?”
I quietly answered, “Yes.”
My New Home
We continued driving until we arrived at his house with water on one side of it and land on the other side of it. A huge white door opened and we went in. There were other shiny cars and two wheel things there were too many to count. The man got out and walked around. He noticed that I did not eat anything and scooped it up, walked to a circular trash can opened it and dumped the food into it.
He walked over to the car door and snatched my wrist leading me to another smaller door. I was guessing that I was at home. The inside was huge. The ceilings were high and vaulted. There was white furniture in one room. The other room was silver and white. That must be the kitchen. When we made it through the door the man pinned me against the wall as he moved in closer and whispered, “You are so beautiful, I will never let you leave me do you understand me?”
I was about to answer but then he leaned in and put his mouth over my mouth. He stuck his tongue into my mouth but I did not know what to do. I felt his hand on my breast as he pressed in closer. He whispered, “I hope you are as good as you look.” The throbbing pain in my face had stopped. He grabbed my wrist and led me through the house into a room with a large bed in it. It was beautiful. The wood was shiny, the linen was shiny, it had over sized pillows and I could see the ocean from the window. The room smelled like cinnamon. The man led me to the bed and pushed me down on it. I did not know what to do I was not prepared for any of this. I knew my heart was beating so loud. I could hear it. He continued rubbing my body as he pressed his weight against me as he lay on top of me. He moved from my mouth and started licking my neck. I was wondering if I should do something but I was not given the chance. He found the circles that kept my dress on and worked them off. Before I knew it he was pulling the dress off of me. I felt so shy. I could feel him looking at my body. I turned to the sunset. It was starting to set over the water. I felt his hands moving all over my body he snatched at my bra until he ripped it off. When he got to my panties he snatched those off as well. He continued kissing me all over my body. I felt my body respond to the touches and kisses. He never said anything as he pushed himself into my body. I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek. It felt like I was being ripped into two. It hurt but I was afraid to say anything. I was afraid to move. I belonged to him so I could not object to what he was doing to me. He kept kissing and rocking inside of me. He moaned and shuddered. When he was finished I felt his manhood slide out of my body. My body was mine again. I felt another tear. He felt it too. He leaned in and licked it. He said, “Don’t cry I read that it hurt the first few times but after that you should be okay with it. It should start to feel better. I will try to be gentle with you.”
I felt fluid on my leg. It felt like my cycle started. He got up and grabbed me up as well. He led me to an enormous bathroom. The bathroom was cream with coffee accents and golden mirrors. There were two sinks, a tub, and a shower.
He said, “I know girls like bubble baths and stuff like that so I have some for you. You are going to bleed for a while so take as many baths or showers as you need like.”
I felt the blood run down my leg. I tried to catch with my other leg. He noticed it. He smiled and said, “Don’t worry I read the booklet and its normal.”
With that he started the shower and pulled me in it. He washed my body and his. Then he took his manhood and shoved it into me again. This time it did not hurt as bad. He had my leg up as he pushed my back on the wall of the shower. He was kissing me and licking all over my face and neck. He moaned again and released. He turned the shower off and wrapped my body in a huge soft brown towel. He wrapped himself up and led us to the bed. As I stood there he stripped the bed to reveal silk sheets. He led me to the bed and laid me down. He took the towel off in the dark. I did not know what to expect. I was too scared to move. The next thing I felt was his lips on my thigh. He kissed my thighs and moved them further and further apart. I felt his shoulders against my thighs as he started kissing my most intimate parts. I felt his tongue lick at me. I moaned as the feelings overwhelmed me. I wanted to enjoy sex with my owner but this seemed to happen too fast. But it felt good. As he fell into a rhythm I fell into a rhythm, I felt a climax and release. I was hoping it was not blood again. He must have felt it too. He came up and whispered in my ear, “You are so perfect. I was a virgin until tonight. I love being with you, already.”
I sat there quietly not knowing what to say or do.
He moved his face close to my neck and kissed me. He murmured, “You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are, your skin is so soft, you were a wonderful choice.”
Soon I heard his soft breathing. He was warm and hard against my body. Although, I wanted to get up and look around the house he fell asleep with my legs tucked under his legs and his arm around my waist tightly. I did not want to move him or wake him. I thought that this may make him angry. He was so strong compared to me. I could feel his arm muscles against my skin. He was at least 3 inches taller and very muscular. He is lighter than me. I thought to myself that he must be considered white. I am brown like caramel so I must be black I summarized laying there. I must have fallen asleep sometime after that.
I could hear seagulls and feel something moving against my face. It all came back to me. I was not at my old home with the girls I was with him. I opened my eyes cautiously. The sun was streaming in the room. His blonde hair was tousled and I could see his beard coming in. He had the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen. He leaned over and said, “You are so beautiful, you are so perfect for me, I can’t believe you belong to me. I waited so long to have you.” Once again I did not know what to say. I just said nothing. I wondered what he meant by he waited for me? I wondered if he would take me somewhere today. He started kissing me again. Just as I was preparing myself for what he might want to do to me, there was a knock at the door. He called out, “Yes?”
An older man’s voice said, “Your breakfast sir.” I was shocked to know that there was someone else in the house. I had no idea. I wondered if he was nice. No I hissed to myself stay away from him. My owner will get mad. Human men are possessive. I will get hit again. He got up and said, “I can change your name.” Name me? Wow I get a new name, this is great I thought to myself! I was so happy. That is so human it is not even funny. He said, “You are so beautiful I think I should name you Camea. I read once that she was a princess. You look like a princess.” With that he moved to the other side of the room opened a door that looked like the wall and came out with two white towels. The towels had strings that tied around the middle of the person that wore them. I watched him first. Then I did mine. He led me to the door and we were in the silver and white room.
I found the source of the old man’s voice. It was an older white man in black and white attire. He was a helper person. He was dressed in a stiff locking black suit. He had thin graying hair. He had soft lines around his eyes and mouth. He smiled at me. But I looked down because I dare not look at him remembering what happened the day before. The older white man moved about the room setting out things. I barely could eat hoping that I would get to see some of the places Mila described to me. I wanted to see a shopping mall, and department stores, and Victoria Secrets a nice bra shop where the women are so beautiful they are angels. I wanted to see where women could go and get things that were new. Things that they did not have to make at home but bought in stores. We made all of our clothes at the old house. I could feel the old man looking at me. I put my eyes down further. I did not want to get hit again. I was going to be good no matter what. I did not want to be returned defective.
When we were finished eating and he stood up from the table I stood up also. I was learning to follow him where he goes. I wanted him to know that I was trying and I know that he has twenty nine days to return me as defective, so I wanted to make sure that he did not have a reason to return me. I was afraid of the consequences if he did. If he wanted to have sex I would be available. If he wanted to talk I would listen to everything carefully and pay attention. I wanted him to know that I would be a good choice and a good parent to his baby when he decided we could have one.
When we got to the room he turned to me and said, “I am going to take you somewhere.” I was shocked and my heart started racing. I wanted to go somewhere so bad that I did not know what to do. I did not know whether or not to even move. I did not want to mess this up. He looked at me and said, “You have clothes here I bought them for you before you came, follow me.” We went into a second hidden door that I did not notice before. The “hidden” closet was huge. It was stacked from top to bottom with the most beautiful clothes I had ever seen. There were shoes, dresses of all colors, tops, bottoms, suits, hats, and even jewelry. I was stunned. He turned to me, “I-I am Austen- and I was thinking I never even told you my name, so you don’t know what to call me.”
I was thinking about asking him but I wanted to make sure that I did it at the right time. I didn’t want to seem like an idiot. Things did not come easy for me. The den mother said it was because some girls have looks and some have brains. She said I was fortunate to have the looks.
It would make me sad when she would say that but it made me try harder to learn new things. I never mastered reading. It was so hard. But I could read some things like cook and book. If it was simple I could read it. I was not nearly as good as Mila. She could read anything. She was so smart. I was an idiot. I was never going to be anything but someone’s possession. I knew that. I was fine with it. I was told by the den mother that I was very special and very pretty.
Austen moved around the closet and picked some things out for me to wear. I did not know where to start and was happy that he did the task for me. We left the closet and moved closer to the bed. My heart started beating faster. I did not want to stop what we were doing. I did not want Austen to change his mind and stay home instead of taking me out. I wanted to see other people. I wanted to eat at one of those golden arches places since I wasted my opportunity feeling sorry for myself the day before.
But instead to my relief he placed the clothes on the bed and then turned to go to his closet. I looked at the clothes he picked and was a little shocked. There were pants, blue heavy looking, and a shirt. There was nothing fabulous about them. The shirt and pants tags were still on. Later when I would pull those tags out to reminisce about them I would later learn that the jeans were five hundred dollars and that the shirt was six hundred. Austen returned with his clothes and two plastic bowl looking things. One was red and one was green. I guess since I was standing there staring Austen felt the need to prompt me. He said, “Sweetheart we need to take a shower and prepare ourselves to leave.” I turned and followed him to the bathroom. He started the shower and dropped his robe. His body was perfect. His large chest was strong it was then I noticed something on his back. There were six numbers. Before I knew it I reached out and touched them. They were black and block type. Austen turned around and looked at me. I snatched my hand back.
He said, “Those are your numbers?” I was confused.
It must have showed on my face. Austen continued, “Before you had a name, when I err ordered you, you were given a number, when I viewed you, they used that number to identify you. So I wanted to keep the number to remind me of how long I waited to be with you. I called everyday for four years and checked on you and your progress. In case you were wondering you cost four hundred and fifty thousand dollars. You don’t ever have to be afraid to touch me or my body, I belong to you just as much as you belong to me.”
I wanted to ask so many questions but I wanted to leave also. I wanted to know why I cost so much. I wanted to know if there are others that look like me. I turned and looked in the mirror for the first time in my life.
I had brown eyes, golden brown hair, it was curly, and huge eyelashes. I only knew what they were called because Mila told me. Austen took my hand and guided me into the shower. He started kissing me almost as soon as I was in. I wondered if I could hurry this process by kissing him back. When I did he seemed to grow harder against my thigh. He took his hand and moved my thighs further apart and slipped inside of me. It felt good but I also felt sore and I wanted to leave the house for the first time. I was scared of making Austen mad at me so as I have done several times before I followed my owner’s wishes. I was his product so I had to do what he wanted me to do. Soon enough I felt Austen shudder as he released inside of me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. He whispered, “I love you.” I wanted to tell him that I loved him also but I was too scared to say anything. He did not press the issue. He was too busy rubbing soap all over my body. We finished our shower I found that the closet had so many more things in it. In casual conversation Austen explained that he was going to take a ride up the coast on his favorite motorcycle. He explained that we would end up at a restaurant. He wanted to make sure that we were getting a room. So he opened up his laptop, Mila explained to me about the internet and how I could be viewed on it. She explained that we were all for sale and would eventually end up with our princes. She did not tell me that the internet had so much information on it. I sat next to Austen’s desk on the floor near his leg. He reached over and stroked my hair as he was typing with one hand. After a while he stood up and pulled me up with him. He kissed me while pressing his body against my body. He grabbed at my body in a greedy frenzy but it felt good for Austen to have his arms wrapped around my body. Austen picked me up and laid me on the bed. He tugged at the towel until it fell open. Austen leaned over and smelled my hair. He ran his fingers through it and tipped my face towards his. His gaze was intense. He rubbed and caressed me until I was begging for him to stop. When he inserted himself into me it felt like I could not get enough of him. His smell was so strong and alluring. I could see his chest muscles flexing with his movement. He retreated to the side of my neck licking near my ear and hair line. He was lost in his own passion as he did not notice that his weight was nearly crushing me. I let out a gasp for air when he realized that I could not handle his weight. He leaned his body up on his arms as I looked up at him. He leaned in and whispered, “I love you, Camea.”
I was gazing into his eyes. He seemed to be in love with me. He was looking at me so intently. When he was done he kissed me and whispered, “You are so beautiful.”
Then we got dressed. Austen handed me the bowl. I held it. He laughed and showed me how to put it on. He tapped it lightly but it made me stumble. He laughed again as he grabbed at me to steady me. He led me to his garage where he kept all the cars and the two wheeled cars. He picked a set of keys up from the key holder and walked over. He started explaining what to expect on the ride and what to do and not to do while on a motorcycle. He pressed something on the bottom of the bowl and then I could hear him. He told me it was a Bluetooth helmet. He sounded like we were in the same bowl! Wow this is great I thought to myself. He started his speech over about holding on and never letting go. He explained what would happen should we get “off balance” and what I should do. He helped me on the, “motorcycle” and then climbed on. He did something that I could not see and the thing jumped to life. It scared me so bad a sucked up behind him and hit his helmet. He laughed and said, “I just turned it on, it does that. Just stay right here with me and you will be fine. Okay?” I heard myself say, “O-okay.”
With that we were off. For the first hour or so I did not open my eyes. I could feel the wind zip past us and occasional bumps. I had done so much in the last 48 hours that I was not sure anymore what was real or fake and if I would wake up in my old house. I knew that Austen would not let anything happen to me but it felt like we were going so fast. Then all of a sudden I hear Austen’s voice. “Camea, you might want to look at the scenery, it is something I used to do to pass the time away waiting on you. I would dream what it would be like to have you with me on one of my rides, and later, with kids, our babies.”
His words made my heart beat faster. I wanted kids, I wanted a family, but I don’t want kids if I keep making him mad enough to hit me. If I was a terrible product then what if I as a terrible mother and could not keep my children safe. What if when I had children Austen sold them like I was sold? But he said he wanted to keep them in so many words. He said he wanted to one day make this trip with children. I worked up the nerve to talk. I just rambled. “I have never left the compound, I was not allowed to watch television, and I do not know how to read, because you came early for me and the den mother told me there was not enough time for me to learn in four days anyway.”
Austen was quiet then he said, “I will teach you how to read and you will be by my side always, I will not leave you in the house alone often.”
Just as he finished his sentence he jerked the bike to the right into the parking lot of a rustic and rough looking establishment. I was so excited. I would get to see humans interact with each other. Hopefully I would get to feel real. I would get to see the neat things that Mila seen on television I hoped.
I did not know what to expect. Austen broke into my thought. He said, “Carefully get off watch out for the muffler it is very hot, they are the long silver things that are on the sides. Look down at them so that you don’t burn your leg, then aim for the ground.” I barely made it to the ground. I felt loose and tight at the same time. My heart was still pounding from the exhilarating ride.
Austen was off next and then taking my bowl off before he took his off. I asked, “What is it called?” He looked puzzled. “What is what called?” I did not want to say it but I blurted it out before I could stop myself, “The head bowl.” Austen laughed for what seemed like ten minutes at my expense. I was a little embarrassed at my stupidity. I did not know what to think or say. I knew it was stupid and I knew it had a name I just did not know the name. I wanted to shrink into the ground. Austen must have read my mind, “I am sorry I did not mean to laugh, it’s just that we spent four hours with it on and to think that you thought it was a “head bowl” is funny, not that you think it is a head bowl. It is called a helmet. There are different kinds too, but what you and I have are full faced helmets. One day I would like to see you ride your own motorcycle with me. It is much more fun. I-I love you. I hope I did not hurt your feelings.”
He leaned over and kissed my nose. He took my hand and led me to the door of the rustic looking place. I could not read the name of it at the time but now I know it is called “The Bear’s Den”. When we walked in it seemed as though all activity stopped.
Austen walked up to the older gentlemen standing behind a desk looking object with a book. I heard Austen say, “Austen Perry reservations for two.” What is a reservation who is the two?
Wow I need to learn more about this human life than I thought. Soon the older man was escorting us among animal head and wooden tables to the end of the restaurant. Most importantly I noticed the people men and women whispering and pointing at us. I got scared and moved in closer to Austen. When we were seated he ordered a beer and a bottle of Riesling. When our order arrived he handed me a golden glass of Riesling with the long stem. It was pretty. I noticed that the people in the restaurant were still looking at Austen and me. He leaned in. He said, “Do you want to know why everyone is staring at you?” I nodded. He went on, “People have not seen someone like you in person probably ever, your DNA is rare, your race was nearly wiped out, and who was not killed were taken to safe havens, away from poachers, and human traffickers.” That was a lot to take in. That was hard to understand as he went on. “I am 33 years old and you are the equivalent of 21 but your DNA is more likely the equivalent of 8 years old. When I ordered you I had to deposit half of your cost. It was well worth it because I looked at the prototype and grew fascinated. I wanted a female but not just any female. I wanted one that would be beautiful like you. In 2075 something happened. A vaccination that was used to cure H.I.V. wiped out reproductive age females.”
I would later find out that Austen lied to me to protect me from the truth. I did not know what H.I.V. was but I knew what vaccinations were because we got them all the time at the house.
Austen went on to tell me the females that were left were too old to have children or were not reproducing fast enough.
“Your race was nearly wiped out. Females started having babies that were dead before they were born and the male female ratio flopped so badly that there was one female for every one thousand men. These companies started archiving and testing D.N.A. to mass produce females. It took a while to get it right but the world agreed that females should be “farmed and bought. You are a clone. What that means is that there are at least fourteen copies of you in the world. When I bought your D.N.A. I paid for it to be destroyed except for 4 other stem cells in case you got sick or needed a transplant.”
The information was so overwhelming that I did not know what to do. I just sat there and stared into the glass of Riesling. I felt everyone looking at me. I kind of wanted to be back on the motorcycle riding away. But I sat there and just kept staring. I heard a man talking with Austen then a book was placed in front of me. I just wanted to cry out because it had words on it. The words were big. I could not read them. As if on cue Austen cut in and said, “Would you like to try my recommendation?”
I was so relieved that he remembered that I could not read. I was happy I told him earlier. The words looked like Greek. The man shifted his weight on the side of me. I could feel him sucking in my presence. I stammered, “Yes, p-please.” The man interjected right after Austen placed the order.
“She’s is gorgeous.” He stammered out.
I felt even more embarrassed and only looked down further. I did not want Austen to get angry with me. I remember things quickly. I know that I learn quickly but I felt horrible about not being able to read. In addition to that I did not want Austen to become angry with me. I could feel Austen studying my reaction. I could feel his eyes on me. I continued to look down. I think this satisfied his need to control me and my reactions.
Austen spoke as soon as the waiter was gone, “Camea get used to men trying to get your attention. Although you may not think it I want to be the first one to tell you that you are gorgeous. You are a rare beauty and even more so you are exotic because women of your race are not a common appearance around here. Men will try anything to get your attention even for a minute. Once they look into your huge brown eyes their reactions will be the same. They all will want you.”
Austen’s words shocked me beyond response. I was not sure how to respond to what he was telling me. It seemed as though he was warning me but at the same time it seemed like he was acknowledging that he knew that men would constantly try to vie for my attention. Knowing what I know now I would have responded in way to reassure Austen that did not want the additional attention. I felt that his attention was enough for me.
Austen filled the rest of the time telling me about his life. He said that he was basically retired because of his investments. He told me that he wanted to have children. He told me about how he made the decision to order me. He told me about his previous attempts to find a wife.
He told me how hard it was to find a woman that was healthy. I later found out that he did not tell me the entire truth but rather some of it. But at the time I was looking deep into his blue eyes believing everything that he told. The rest of the room melted away and I was mesmerized by his words and eloquence. When the food arrived I ate what was ordered for me. It tasted so good. I was starving. Dessert came and I had another glass of Riesling given to me. Austen paid the bill and we prepared to leave. Just as we were leaving a man sitting at the bar turned to Austen and I. He asked, “How much did she set you back for?”
Austen instantly got angry. He grabbed the man off of the wooden bar stool and slammed him to the floor. The waiters rushed to the scene. Austen threw his hands up and rushed towards me. He stood in front of me defensively. Even when I looked at the guy he did not seem to be that angry. He was eyeing me as if I was a piece of meat about to be served up raw. But Austen’s demeanor was changed as he was on the defensive. He was tensed up and poised to strike the man again or anyone else that got too close to me. The older man stepped in between us and spoke, “Gentlemen please, let’s remember that there are women here.”
With that Austen turned and ushered me to the door. We did not speak as he placed my helmet on and we got on the bike and zipped away. I just held on to him confused as to what got him so angry.
We arrived to a place that had a huge water fountain in front of it. We dismounted the bike. I heard Mila say that one time about a cute cop on a horse. We went inside and a young gentleman approached Austen. Austen seemed to have calmed down by this time. I was able to take in the décor. It was softly brushed white, pink, and cream. The carpet was soft lush cream.
Before I could focus on everything Austen had my hand and was taking me to an e-l-e-v-a-t-o-r. The doors slid open with a ding and we were on it. It seemed to shake and little and then we were in another place. My head was feeling a little shaky as we exited the thing. It disappeared behind the doors. Austen still had my hand. He walked to a door and inserted a plastic card right into the door in a box! It turned green and we walked in. It was breath taking. The room was beautiful. It had a balcony and the ocean was ever so present. There was art and vases all over. There was a front room, a bed room, and another bed room with a small office in it. Austen watched as I zipped from room to room. It was amusing to him. He grabbed me on my fourth round of the place. I wanted to touch everything. He pulled me close and said, “Excited?”
I was breathless my hair was in my face and I felt hot. Austen picked me up and tossed me on the bed. It was so much fun to do human things. Then he turned on a glass on the wall and it was like the box that I had seen in the den mothers room when I brought her soup because she was sick. I was mesmerized with the glass. How could the people talk at you but not even know that you were there?
Austen was kissing me on my neck and I did not even notice because I was so into the glass box that I did not feel him working my pants down. I turned to him and asked, “Why did you get mad at the man at the restaurant?” Austen was so to the point it made my blood chill. He said, “He’s a poacher, he threatened to take you from me, that’s why he wanted to know how much you “cost”.
They are everywhere and once they take you I will never see you again. You will be resold to the highest bidder or raped and killed.”
I was instantly afraid. I wanted to hide back at the house. My old house where we only had to worry about days that would be Chef’s choice and unknown oatmeal.
Austen went back to kissing my neck as if he did not even just tell me the man threatened my life. He seemed okay with it. I took my arms to wrap them around his waist and that’s when I felt the gun in the small of his back. I knew it was a gun because the guards at the compound had them. They never came in the house. The den mother said they were not for us but that they were for people who wanted to come into the house that was not welcome.
Austen wanted to be with me but I wanted to watch television. But I remembered the covenant rules. This would make him angry as my owner. Just as I thought this Austen reached around and grabbed his gun and placed it in the night stand.
After several hours of sex he was quietly sleeping with his arm around my waist. I got up and stole across the room to the balcony. I know I was not supposed to go out anywhere without him but I wanted to see the night sky. I wanted to look at the landscape.
When we were asleep at Austen’s house he always slept on my right side of the bed and always tucked me under him with his arms and legs. He held a death grip on me all night long as if to protect me from anyone coming and taking me away. Austen already showed me that he did not like me being out of his sight for too long. When I was in the shower I was in there with him. When I was sitting still in the bedroom and he was in another part of the house he would check on me several times an hour it seemed like. But tonight I just wanted to get some fresh air. I loved the attention. I loved he possessiveness he showed over me but I wanted some fresh air also. So I stole out of the bed and snuck across the lush carpet to the balcony.
I opened the door as the cool air rushed in and greeted me. I was never allowed outside at the compound. My pulse quickened. I snuck out onto the balcony and peered over. The air hit my face in a sweeping motion it pushed my hair back. I did not mean to stay on the balcony so long. I looked down again and saw the blue lights on the streets below. I wondered what they were. Then there was a boat on the ocean it was small but I could tell that it was really huge up close. I knew it was big because of the amount of lights it had on it.
I felt something behind me and I jumped. It was Austen. He was standing behind me. I was so scared I did not want to turn around. I knew he was going to be angry with me. When I turned around Austen grabbed me by my arms. His eyes were silver and glowing. He was so overwhelming to look at. I tried to wiggle away. But Austen had a death grip on me. He let out a low grumble and pulled me closer. He bit me on face. Then he bit me on my neck. I felt the surge from his possessiveness. Then a flood of desire came into my mind. The feeling was overwhelming. I felt desire then I felt attachment to me. I witnessed my memories from his point of view. Then I felt desire to control me, then I felt attachment again, then it was dark and I was in the darkness.
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