MONA
Rick Barry
Published by Rick Barry at Smashwords
Copyright September 2011 Rick Barry
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Prelude
Mona is a short story that reflects on relationship dynamics. All relationships involve characters and here we have two. Dropping in at any random point, any relationship could be at this stage and level. Real characters dealing with real life relationship situations, that's what Mona is about.
Begin..
Looking in the mirror at his reflection, being cute wasn't a surprise. Jonathan was like an un-discovered model in his own mind. Ever since he was a little boy, hearing the word 'cute' time after time, whenever he was out and about with his mother became common place. Now, a newlywed husband, his only son just turning one and him not even thirty yet, made him wonder about getting old. He leaned into the mirror and pulled down on his face, as if he was checking for dark bags under his eyes, which he didn’t have. Although he had concerns of old age, he needed not to be focusing on how he looked at this very moment. But nevertheless, for the sake of it, he glared into each eye looking for redness, but there wasn't any. He could have thought he would be safe, but then he quickly spun around as Mona came into the bathroom.
"Good morning, baby?” he said as he turned to face her.
Adding the flash of his million dollar smile, he attempted to set the mood. She never turned his way or spoke a word to him. Straight to the toilet she went. Pulled her panties down and started to drain her bladder. Mona was upset and now he had to fix it just like all the other times. Like from some crazy play book, Jonathan seemed to always try to play the same plays that he thought Mona didn’t know. In this play mode, he would wear Mona out with words and over acting so she would give up trying to even make her point.
Play One: He would act dumb to the facts. That meant acting as if he had no clue why she would be upset in the first place or even about what. Play Two: Now comes, acting like he should be the one that should be all upset, but only about her being upset not about anything he had done. And finally there is Play Three: The fake promise. Here he would make any promise about changing if he felt it would calm her down and end the conversation. After his 1,2,3 punch of plays, she'd get tired of arguing and it would be over. It seemed to always work for him and in as short as thirty minutes, they'd be back in bed together kissing and hugging like last night never happened. Or so he thought.
Mona rested both elbows on her thighs as she sat relieving herself. With both hands over her face and with a low tone she just whispered.
"You know what Jonathan, I think I'm done." Mona sounded defeated.
"What are you talking about now? Damn girl, what? What I do now?" Without hesitation he forced play one down on her.
She continued to sit there without her normal reaction to his play. Unsure and afraid, Jonathan hits her with play two. Throwing his hands up and frowning his mouth with disgust.
“I'm tired of these games, Mona, damn!” But he knew her complaint wasn't new. “You always got something going on with you. If it ain’t this, it’s that. You know how tiring this is? What’s with all this?”
Still, no response. Mona hadn’t moved an inch or even looked up at him yet. Jonathan should have known better. Each and every time he seemed to take it a little too far. But like always, he'd count on charming her back to a smile because it always worked. In past arguments, he would admit he may be selfish and inconsiderate at times, but in a flash he would be quick to defend himself by bringing up other better times. Their anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and let’s not forget her birthdays, what happens on those days? He would tell her not to forget how he was on those days. Plus, if he had to, he'd state how he choose her to marry, out of the choices he had. He’d also remind her that every woman she knew wanted him and she had him. What more could she need?
Never raising her voice, "You make me sick! Why did you even marry me?” He tried to respond, but she continued.
"You convinced me when you knew I didn't want this. I told you I didn't want to live like this."
"What Mona? He tried play one again, now that she was talking, "So I can't hang out with the guys now? I wasn't with no other woman! That's what you thinking right? That I was hanging out with some chick all night right? Damn, I'm so tired of this bull! You been thinking this shit all night?"
She slowly pulled her head up from her hands and looked up at him, "The 'I'm dumb' or 'reverse guilt' games are a bust Jonathan." She reached down between her legs, wiped, stood and pulled up on her panties. Looking square in his eyes, "Jonathan, I love you and that's the last time you'll hear me say it as you're wife!" She turned, started for the door and with a loving smile looked back, "Come have some coffee with me?"
Wow was the only thought running around in his head. He didn't know what to say, he followed her, "Mona, I'm sorry. You don't know it but I was trying to make it back sooner. I lost my keys somewhere in the club and I was looking for them. But there were so many people and I couldn't see and...”
"Stop Jonathan!" She interrupted him, which was unusual for her. As they reached the kitchen, "This isn't about you being late or hanging out with your friends. You have shown me what my life will be, if I stay in it with you. And guess what? I finally accept it." He leaned against the counter in the kitchen as she worked the coffee maker on the counter across from him. "And don't think it's your fault", she continued, "I'm not blaming you. It's me and you are right, you have been smarter than me." He reached up, locked his fingers together and dropped his hands on the top of his head as he shook it left to right.
With an excited voice, "Damn girl, why do you always do this shit? I'm tired and you know nothin' happened last night! What you want now? You want me to beg, right?" He added a little something to play two for measure.
Without changing her tone or responding to his questions, "You showed me three years ago when we were dating and I had a feeling but I just ignored it. I so just wanted the chance to love you and I admit it was a little selfish on my part. But I also wanted to show you all the love I had for you. You know? The way you wanted to be loved?"
She finished setting up the coffee and moved toward the table and motioned for him to have a seat. They sat. Jonathan appeared a little nervous. He had played stupid, tried to push the guilt, apologized and even tried to egg her into an argument. But nothing was working. No time to figure out what to next, so he just sat there.
"I know that you're a man and you want to do men things, like hang out with your boys. I never had a problem with that, you know that right?" She smiled at him. He didn't respond, but he was sitting right in front of her. "Jonathan? You heard me?"
He licked his lips and slowly shook his head in agreement.
"Let me ask you a question," he said, as if he had that special question that could fix everything. "Now, you're upset about me hanging out last night, not calling and coming in five hours late, right?
Mona got up to get a cup to pour her some coffee. As she passed him she slides her hand up his arm and patted him twice on the shoulder before she walked over to the counter. He looked as if he was about to lose his mind. This new Mona was acting strange. Her reactions were nothing like her normal ones. His expectation that she was going to be the same old Mona was dead wrong. Jonathan had no idea that he had hurt Mona one too many times.
Going back to the few first months of them dating, when he told her he needed space because she all of a sudden wasn’t lady like enough for him, he blamed her. It was just after he had spent weeks begging her to date him exclusively. She finally agreed and in a short time developed feelings for him. She was in bliss for the next few weeks then he turned around and asked for that space. That was the very first bad time for them. He argued that she needed to change. Of course, what he wanted was for her to be all submissive to his thoughts and ideas. Mona wasn’t that kind of woman and he knew this even while he selfishly was tricking her to only be with him. The worst thing about that time was Mona was the only one that got hurt. They argue everyday for hours. He said splitting up was the best thing, she pleaded and cried that it wasn’t. Meanwhile, as Mona cried her eyes out, he was cold and acting as if she'd brought it all on herself. After three days of crying and pleading, she gave in and agreed to the split. He asked for a week, she told him take two. But when he come running back, after just three days apart, telling her he needed her, she's the one and offering big promises to change, she choose love over pain and took him back without question. Soon after they moved in together, had their first child and married.
"No Jonathan, I'm not upset about you hanging out with your boys or you going out to party without me. As a matter of fact, I'm not even bothered that you didn't come home even close to the time you promised. You want to know what bothers me?"
He didn't say a word. He could tell in her tone that he couldn't talk his way out of this one. He stayed silent and simply motioned for her to continue.
"What bothers me is the fact that I'm still here! Sitting around this house waiting on you," displaying a tiny smirk, she put it out there for him. He smiled back at her, slapped his hand on the table and stood up.
"That's it? That's all that's bothering you?" He had misunderstood her, but he didn’t realize it yet. Mona didn’t speak again. She just looked at him as she waited for him to catch up.
"Wait, you said you mad cause you still here? What that mean?” He really had no clue. “Here you go with that again, you leaving me now, right? Again?" Jonathan shook his head like a child saying yo momma jokes. But quickly reading her facial expression, he knew she was serious.
Not knowing what to say to her, he jumped back right into what he knew and employed the 'I'm mad at you because you're mad' diversion.
"Come on Mona, how many times we done talked about this?" His voice rose and fell just at the right times. Which was his attempt at making her feel bad about making him angry and talking about this foolish stuff. Still no word from her.
"Ok Mona, you leaving me now? I get it. Well you know I'm not divorcing you right? If you want that you're going to have to do it!" Although his face didn't reflect, Jonathan was in an internal panic. He used all the proper plays, yet she wasn’t responding properly, so he went for the throat with divorce. He'd said he wouldn't divorce her many times and he was hoping more than ever that it would carry some weight this time, since everything else wasn’t working.
This topic had come up a few times since they'd been married this short time. Mona had argued why he couldn't be nice, sweet and loving towards her all the time, like when he wanted sex. But to no avail, he continued to be macho, arrogant and selfish. At times, he had gone as far as, making Mona feel like he didn’t need her, but she knew that wasn’t true. Taking a sip from her coffee, she just smiled at Jonathan as he sat with his elbows on the table waiting for her response.
Things between them had changed. As they say, the shine had worn off. Two days of getting along, three days of arguing and not talking to each other, then two of being lonely. This was a week with Jonathan now. But it wasn't always like this. Back when they were dating, when Mona lived at home with her mother, Jonathan couldn't get enough of her. She could clearly remember many visits when she asked her mother if he could spend the night because he just didn't want to leave her overnight. He was always looking to spend time with her and showed her endless attention. He wanted her to be his 'baby doll' as he put it. That was the pet name he gave her.
Now Mona was also a looker. You know, easy on the eyes. Everywhere she went, if men were present, at least one was checking her out. Intelligent, sexy and quite the social butterfly, she knew how to work a room and break any man down. But over the years her failed relationships had begun to take their toll on her. After giving herself completely in each of them, she still found herself by herself. She finally decided that she'd just play the field, like it seemed the men she loved were doing while she was devoted to them. Back out on the scene is how she met Jonathan. She thought he was cute and even gave him the green light for a few rides of joy, but she knew she wasn't going back into that whole serious thing. She was enjoying her freedom.
But Jonathan, unknown to Mona, had his own selfish plot working. He was laying it down thick to, trying to convince her that they could live life together, just the two of them. Mona refused his offers time after time hoping he'd give up, but he didn't. Back then she was content with spending time, hanging out, and partying. And of course, their sex was off the chain. She'd have to admit, he was mad sexy. He had the three T's; Tall, thick and tasty. His dark brown silky skin came from his family's heritage. They're from the islands. He worked out at the local YMCA daily and when Mona rubbed her hands down his chest for the first time, she felt like she'd hit the lottery. Even when he started the relationship talk, that she really didn't want to hear, she smiled and said just enough to assure herself some more of his little head. She enjoyed Jonathan in those days. He made her feel like he appreciated her and like he would love her for life.
"Is that what you think I should do? Divorce you Jonathan?" Mona questioned.
"That's what you saying right? You can't take it anymore. That I think you're stupid and you're gonna show me, right?" He hoped something he said made sense.
"Don't you want to divorce me?" Mona asked.
"Come on Mona, you know I won't do that damn!" He was getting frustrated.
"Of course not Jonathan, all this time you made me believe that you wouldn't because you loved me that much. But I realized the truth about why you wouldn’t in those moments when I needed you to be there for me and you weren't." Sadness was in her voice.
"I've always been there for you Mona! Why you lying about that?" He had her! The argument was on now. She hated being called a liar.
Mona smiled and didn't explode. Quietly she remembered how she use to feel her heart hurt when the love of her life thought she would lie to him.
"You're a good man Jonathan,” She said gently. “You have dreams, goals and the desire to achieve them. When you set your mind to something it turns out great for you. If it’s important to you, you take care of it. I like that about you. You can really shine when you want."
What? No yelling. No cursing. She's still calm and collected. Something had changed, but when? He hadn't noticed anything. He leaned back in his chair and hoped this would all be over soon.
"You're not who I thought you were. You have been wonderful though, to and for yourself. You only care about me when you need me to make you feel good!" She spoke like a concerned mother.
"Oh come on Mona, you know it’s not like that!" He demanded.
"You've made me feel stupid about my thoughts, ideas and my feelings. I'm sorry that I let you down me so much just for having an idea and sharing it with you. Do you know how hard it is to want to be close to someone that makes you feel like shit about yourself, ninety percent of the time you spend with them?" She really didn’t expect him to answer. "This life we've been living for the last three years, is the life you want to live."
"Oh, so now I'm controlling you?" Jonathan replied.
"No Jonathan, it was worse than that. You used my love for you against me." Mona hesitated, hoping it would sink in.
"What? What are you talking about?" He really didn't know.
She wasn't just acting strange, now she was talking about things that he'd never even thought of.
"I really thought we were going to be together. I thought we were going to share our lives together. But the truth is, there really isn't a ‘we’ or ‘together’ with you. It's ALL about you, every minute of every day." Mona continued.
"Mona, I'm getting tired of this! Let's just go lay down for a few hours, you know, get a little sleep before Jr wakes up." He tried to change the subject.
But right at that moment he realized in all this talking, Mona hadn't checked on the baby.
"Let me go check on him before we lay down." He rose and turned to try to leave the kitchen.
"Jonathan?" She almost whispered, "Jr isn't here. He would have awaked by now or when you were yelling and slapping the table. I knew you would try your usual games while we talked so I spared him this last chat."
"Where is he?" He sounded most sincere, but Mona knew better.
"He's at my moms. He's been there since an hour before you left out last night. You were so into you, that you never even thought of kissing him or me good night before you left." She pitied him now.
"What?” Is the only thing he could say, as he leaned back against the wall.
She was relaxed, calm and cool. Nothing he had said had worked her up and he knew something big had changed while he was out partying last night without a care in the world.
Jonathan stood there. Hoping she would talk to him in a way he could understand. Hoping he could find something good to say so this talk could be done.
“You lied to me about everything Jonathan. You are not the person you told me you were.” Mona felt good about finally telling him her truth…
###
About
the Author
Rick Barry is a self-taught writer. Living in the southern United States, he has been writing for just under five years.
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