A Suicidal Man
This question is for the guys…
How would you define suicide?
If you’re like most people, you would describe suicide as the act of taking your own life deliberately. Have you ever attempted suicide? Your response to this question was probably an immediate ‘no.’ What would you say if someone was to tell you that you may have already attempted suicide, but just didn’t realize it?
Read this scenario…
Quan had been with his new girlfriend Nadine for about a month. Usually Quan and Nadine hang out at his sister’s house playing cards on the weekend and then go back to his place afterwards. Since Nadine just moved into her own apartment, they decided to chill there this particular weekend. Nadine was in the bedroom digging through her purse for dollars to tip the pizza delivery man, and Quan was in the living room singing off-key to an old R. Kelly song. They heard a horn blow outside and since it sounded close, they assumed that it was the pizza man. Nadine started toward the front door. She glanced out of the window and saw her ex boyfriend Anthony’s car parked in front of her house. Before she could warn Quan, Anthony had gotten out of the car and was yelling for Quan to come outside. Quan sprang up from the sofa to look out the window. He sees Anthony and three other guys standing outside of the car, and two of them are holding baseball bats.
Anthony sees Quan’s face in the window. “Come on out here you punk [***] !”
Nadine looks horrified, and Quan can see her hands trembling. “Quan don’t go out there! Please don’t go!”
Quan looks at Nadine, and wants more than anything to listen to her, but he feels as though he would never be able to look her in the face again if he chooses to go out like a punk.
If Quan chooses to confront Anthony and his friends, then it is just as much of a suicide attempt as taking a handful of pills or pulling the trigger of a loaded gun aimed at his temple. Common sense should alert Quan that there is no possible way that he would come out on the winning end in this scenario if he chooses to walk himself into this ominous situation. If Quan chooses to go outside, chances are all four of the men will either jump him at once, or take turns beating him until they hear a police siren.
There is two ways that this situation can be dealt with.
Solution # 1
Quan opens the window and exchanges insults with Anthony.
“Come on out here if you’re bad!” Anthony yells to Quan, cursing him.
Quan is wild-eyed and fuming with anger as he heads for the door.
Nadine is crying. “Quan! Quan, don’t go out there!” She tries to hold him back, but he jerks away and goes outside.
Quan will end up being beaten severely by the four or more men, or he will take out a gun and murder Anthony – or an innocent by-stander – in his fit of rage. Quan will end up serving twenty years or more in Federal Prison, and all because he didn’t want to look like a coward.
Solution # 2
Quan looks at Nadine. “We don’t have to put up with this nonsense baby.” and he calls the police and explains the situation to the dispatcher.
Within minutes the police arrive, but Anthony and his crew flees as soon as they hear the police siren. A police car chases after Anthony’s car while another team of officers talk with Quan and Nadine.
Quan’s voice is calm as he explains the situation to the officers. “This is my girlfriend, Nadine. One of the guys involved is her ex boyfriend. We were in the house waiting for a pizza to arrive when they came over here blowing the horn and yelling obscenities, so I called the police. Apparently they thought that I was going to come outside to fight all four of them.”
Quan had a choice of whether he wanted to risk losing his life or freedom in order to defend his dignity. He chose solution number two, and right or wrong, he’s still alive and unharmed and he isn’t in prison.
SCENARIO #2
Shane and his sister Lana are two years apart and have always been close. Two years ago Lana met Thomas and they moved in together. Shane noticed that Lana didn’t come around the family as much anymore, but he just figured it was because she’d just taken on a new job with longer hours. About six months after Lana met Thomas, Shane started hearing rumors that Thomas hits Lana. He asked his sister about the rumors and she denied them. Two months later Shane got a call from a hysterical Lana, stating that Thomas had attacked her and took her money. Since Thomas hadn’t taken any of his personal belongings with him, Shane figured that he’d most likely be returning soon, so he waited at Lana’s house for him to return. As soon as Thomas walked through the door, Shane grabbed him and roughed him up, leaving him with a warning to never hit his sister again. Three months later Lana called Shane crying because Thomas had been showing off for some out-of-town relatives at a backyard barbecue, and he’d beaten Lana in front of his family.
“Is he still there?” Shane growled furiously over the phone.
“Yes, he’s outside with his cousins.” Lana whispering between sobs.
What does Shane do next?
Solution # 1
Shane rounds up three of his friends and head for Lana and Thomas’s house.
In this situation most likely a huge fight will break out, and it may even result in a shoot out. In scenarios like this, when a person has been ‘showing off’ to impress others, chances are he will not surrender to a sensible solution - after all, he has an audience to please.
Solution #2
“Is he still there?” Shane sounds furious.
“Yes, he’s outside with his cousins.” Lana whispers between sobs.
“Okay, just stay where you are if it’s safe. I’m about to call the police, and I’ll meet them there.”
Sometimes it seems to be a guy’s instinct to defend his sister, but once you’ve grown into adults the dynamics change, and it’s no longer a playground brawl. In grown-up situations people often get killed – that’s reality. If you kill a culprit for harming a family member, the culprit will never be able to bother her again, but what about the rest? Killing one won’t rid your loved one’s life of the threat of other abusive culprits. Who will defend her after you’re sent to prison? This is a no-win battle. A wise way for Shane to settle this problem would be to encourage Lana to alert the police and have Thomas arrested, and meanwhile get a restraining order against him. While he’s being held in jail awaiting bond, Shane should help Lana to decide where she will go to be safe, and help her to come up with a plan to get Thomas out of her life for good. This is the best way for Shane to help his sister because she doesn’t want to see him in prison for murdering Thomas, or worse - dead because Thomas or one of his relatives murdered him.
Guys, before you risk your life and freedom to keep from looking weak, take the time to ask yourself if your pride is worth dying for, or if it’s worth losing your freedom over. If you answer yes, then you’re suicidal.