It’s hard to flirt when sequins are chafing your bits…
Injured pole dancer Matt Lovell meets attractive radiographer Sal when he’s in casualty for an x-ray. Trouble is, Matt’s firefighter outfit is pretty convincing, and the longer he keeps up the pretence the harder it will be to reveal the naked truth: that there’s nothing underneath his costume but a sequin-covered thong!
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 by Josephine Myles
Cover Art by Lou Harper
Edited by JL Merrow
Smashwords License Notes
Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please visit Jo’s website to find out about her other published works. Thank you for your support.
For Lou, who gave me the prompt that sparked the whole thing off.
I knew we were made for each other when I first clapped eyes on his frog-patterned scrubs. Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time... well, they matched my boxers.
Not that I was wearing my froggy boxers right then, of course. No, I’d come to hospital straight from a job and was still in my firefighter’s costume, minus one boot and sock, of course. Boxers were strictly for days off, when it didn’t matter what my underwear looked like.
I wondered what undies he had on. Probably something comfortable—unlike the sequinned flame-patterned thong that was currently trying to cheesewire my buttocks. Damn A&E waiting times. I was never normally in my work clothes for long enough to realise how bloody impractical they were.
“Matt Lovell?” Frog-scrubs asked.
I leapt to my feet, then the pain hit me as the tiled floor made contact with my naked, swollen foot. “Shit! I mean, yeah. That’s me. Arrgh, that bloody kills!”
I realised I was probably coming across as a bit of a wuss, but damn, my foot hurt like a bastard. I tried for what I hoped was a winning smile, and attempted to distract myself from the agony by taking a closer look at the doctor. His dark eyes had smudgy shadows underneath and drooped appealingly at the corners like he’d just woken up. He reminded me of Benicio del Toro; there was a definite hint of the Mediterranean about his olive skin and generously sculpted lips, although his accent was born and bred Bristolian. I wondered if he was into redheads.
I raised my gaze to find his eyes now fastened on me.
Bugger. Now he’d caught me staring at his mouth.
“I’m Sal,” he said, giving me a strange look and shaking his head like he was clearing an unwanted thought. “I’ll be taking you for an x-ray. Just wait here for a moment, and I’ll get you a chair.” He had a dead sexy voice, all low and gravelly.
“I have a chair right here,” I called out to his back before I realised where he was headed. Great. A wheelchair. My humiliation was complete.
Sal returned and looked at me expectantly, resting his arms on the back of the chair. “Need a hand getting in there?”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied, executing a horribly clumsy hop to twist myself around so I could lower my bum into the chair. Sharp sequin edges dug into the sensitive skin of my inner thighs, and I winced. Still, appearances were everything. I tilted my head back and grinned. “See? Fine. Just a little less graceful than usual, but I set the bar pretty high to begin with.”
Sal chuckled and began pushing the chair down the corridor.
“So, did you injure your foot sliding down the pole?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Stubbed my toe at the bottom.”
A guilty twinge hit me in the guts like a pinged jockstrap. The pole in question hadn’t actually been a fireman’s pole, but had been on a stage in a club packed full of cheering men. Okay, I tell a lie: they were in fact laughing men after they’d seen my pratfall. Normally I’d have got up and carried on with the act regardless, but the pain was such a flippin’ nightmare I hadn’t been able to put any weight on that foot at all.
Marcus had looked fit to burst a blood vessel when I’d limped backstage, but after half an hour of elevating my foot on a barstool with a bag of ice hadn’t done jackshit and my toes had turned black, he’d agreed to run me down to A&E to have it checked out. He hadn’t waited, though. Him and Trevor were the final act, after all: cops and robbers, although I’d be willing to bet the coppers round here didn’t treat their suspects in such a friendly way. If they did, every gay man in Bristol would be out thieving.
Sal hadn’t replied, but I wasn’t really one for comfortable silences so I started prattling on again. “It’s bloody dangerous, that pole is. I never did get to the fire engine. Or the fire.”
“Sounds like an occupational hazard,” Sal said, his tone dry as you like, and I figured I’d better stop talking about my fictional job before I was rumbled. I was used to flirting my way out of any conversational tight spots, but I was in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, not at a club. There’s a time and a place, and this definitely wasn’t either. Especially when I was in a wheelchair.
Sal pushed the chair through a door covered in yellow warning signs, including the radioactive one that always gave me the creeps. “Is it safe?” slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. Of course it was bloody safe. Sal wouldn’t be doing it otherwise, would he?
“Yes, it’s fine. You get less radiation than you would in eating a bag of Brazil nuts.”
“Brazil nuts are radioactive?” This was news to me.
Sal parked me next to a gurney. “All kinds of things are radioactive. You’d be surprised how much background radiation you pick up every day. It’s not as dangerous as you’d think.” He shrugged and gave a lopsided smile. “So long as you keep the doses small.”
“Try telling that to Marie Curie.” I’d watched a documentary about her once, when there was nothing more interesting on the telly. I’d have preferred a crime drama or a comedy, but was glad I’d stuck with it when I saw Sal’s eyebrows shoot up.
“You know about her?”
“Hey, don’t let the pretty face fool you. I pick up bits and pieces when I’m paying attention.”
Sal grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. I just don’t meet many patients who want to talk about this stuff. I think it freaks them out too much, thinking of leukaemia.”
I wasn’t going to let on how much the documentary had spooked me. I’d even gone and got rid of my watch with the glow in the dark hands in case it gave me wrist cancer, if indeed there was such a thing. Sal’d probably know, but he’d already started talking again.
“Anyway, Marie Curie hardly stuck to small doses. She had no idea how dangerous it all was.” Sal gave a dry laugh. “You know, she used to carry test tubes of radium around in her pockets. She thought they were pretty because of the way they glowed.”
“Like that tube of nuclear goop in The Simpsons’ opening credits.”
Sal chuckled again. “Yeah, just like that. I’ve got to say, I don’t think much of the safety measures in Monty Burns’s nuclear power plant.”
“You have your doubts about Homer Simpson’s prowess as a safety inspector? Surely not. The man’s a legend.”
“The man’s notorious. It’s hardly the same thing.”
It was great fun, teasing those smiles and chuckles out of Sal. He was about a hundred times better looking when he laughed, and he’d been pretty bloody attractive to start with.
Sal started fiddling about with his equipment—and I wish that had been as exciting as it sounds. The longer I watched him, the more intrigued I was by those kind, intelligent eyes and slow smile. He wasn’t my usual type—all flashy and flirtatious—but then again, how well was it working out for me with guys like that? They were fun for getting down and dirty, but I hadn’t found anyone yet I’d want to get seriously involved with.
I caught a glimpse of Sal’s badge as he leaned over to adjust something. Salvador Mendoza-Jaquez. Blimey, what a mouthful! There was something musical about it, though. I wondered how it would sound coming from his lips in that deep rumbly voice.
That wasn’t the only sound I’d be interested in hearing him make, though. It was hard to tell with those baggy, frog-patterned scrubs on him, but he looked like he had a toned body. Not all pumped up like most of the guys I worked with, but naturally athletic, judging from the ropy muscles on his forearms. My gaydar wasn’t exactly going haywire, though, and I wasn’t sure if I could trust that subtle queer vibe he was giving off. Still, could just be Sal was reserved, and let’s face it, despite all the affirmative action posters up in the lobby, the NHS probably didn’t encourage their staff to flirt with the customers.
“I’ll need you up here now.” Sal patted the gurney.
Screw it. Faint heart never won sexy x-ray guy. I purred as I laid a hand on his arm. “Getting me into bed already? You’re a fast mover.”
I waggled my eyebrows cheekily as I looked up into his eyes. There was no flirty comeback, though, and Sal’s gaze darted away. I wondered if that meant he was straight, or if I was just coming on too strong for him. I had to remember, I wasn’t in some seedy nightclub, where you needed to be bold to get your interest across over the deafening music and poor lighting. I was out in the normal, daytime world, and he was at work in a normal, respectable job. Not the kind of job where he’d get men hitting on him on a regular basis.
Shit. Was he even going to be interested once he’d found out what I do for a living?
But he looked back again and there it was. That spark of interest lurking deep in those dark pupils. That signal that was there if you knew to look for it, but would pass unnoticed by most straight blokes. I sent it back with bells on. Sal’s grin spread slowly up his face, raising his cheeks and making his eyes crinkle up even further.
“Come on, hop up,” Sal said, his voice brusque but his hands gentle as he helped me up onto the gurney. And I swear, he didn’t really need to hold on to my arm for that long afterwards.
I was in there.
“Just lie back and keep still. It’ll only take a moment.” Sal fussed about, arranging my foot on a chilly plate, and I did my best not to hiss at the pain his manipulations caused.
I looked up at the mosaic of landscapes and wildlife pictures on the ceiling above me. It looked like someone had eviscerated a National Geographic and spread its entrails over the polystyrene tiles. I spotted a brightly coloured tree frog and grinned.
“You know, I have a pair of boxer shorts with the exact same pattern as your scrubs.”
“Frog patterned boxers?” Sal sounded amused. “I’m only wearing these because I haven’t had a chance to do any laundry this week. What’s your excuse?”
“They make me happy. What can I say? I’m a child at heart.”
“Right, well try to be a good boy then and don’t fidget for the next minute. I’ll be in there.” He gestured towards a small booth on the other side of the room.
“Hey, I thought you said this was safe,” I grumbled. “Can’t you stay here and hold my hand?”
“Not when I’ve got to operate the controls. Don’t worry. It’s painless and will be over before you know it.”
It didn’t exactly reassure me to see him disappearing through a door marked with more radiation warning signs, but he was right: I really didn’t feel a thing, other than the continual throbbing pain from my foot. “How long till you can tell me whether it’s broken?” I asked as he reappeared from his shielded booth.
“I can’t tell you anything,” he said. “That’s the doctors’ job. I’m just an assistant radiographer. Not even supposed to be doing this on my own, but we’re short-staffed as usual.”
“Oh.” I’d figured he’d have more experience than that. He looked to be in his thirties, not a young thing straight from medical school. “So I won’t see any more of you?”
“Sorry. This is it.” And he did look sorry, I had to admit.
I got myself back into the chair and contemplated giving him my number. Trouble is, my cards weren’t exactly the kind of thing you’d expect a fireman to give you, seeing as how they had a photo of me topless and leaning back against a pole on one side of them, and “Backroom Boyz” printed in sparkly letters under my name on the other. I’d have designed something a little more tasteful myself, but they were eye-catching and Marcus had got a good deal on these for the whole troupe, so I put up with the cheesy glitz just like I put up with the sequinned thong.
I probably should have handed my card over and come clean there and then, but Sal had pushed me out of the door before I’d managed to frame my confession, and I really didn’t feel like making it in a busy hospital corridor.
“Take care,” Sal said as he left me back in the waiting room. “The doctor will be with you as soon as she’s free. Hope it’s just a sprain.”
“Yeah, me too,” I muttered, but I gave him my most charming grin and was pleased to see an answering one on his face.
***
“Hey, how come you’re still here? And how’s the foot?”
Sal walked across the hospital foyer with a loping gait, frog scrubs now changed for faded jeans and battered old sheepskin coat. The way he was striding with a kind of forwards tilt, I half expected him to go tripping up over his own bootlaces. He made it though, coming to a halt a couple of feet in front of me and giving that slow smile. I felt it down in my toes and I wanted to pirouette, but that was out of the question for a while.
“Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for you?”
Sal shook his head, but the smile didn’t fade any.
“Nah, well, the foot’s well and truly buggered so I’m waiting for my boss to come and collect me. Don’t have any money for a taxi on me.” I never took a wallet into work with me. Most clubs had terrible dressing room security, and I always ended up getting all my drinks bought for me anyway. Perk of the job, that was. I eyed Sal’s outfit. “You finished your shift, then?”
“Yep. I’ve finished a whole block of them, now. Three days off in a row. Almost makes up for working twelve hour days for the last week.”
No wonder he looked so bloody knackered. I glanced down at my bandaged foot and pouted. “I’m not going to be working for at least the next month or so. You should count yourself lucky.”
Sal shrugged with one shoulder and gave a lop-sided smile. “Right now, I reckon I’d give just about anything for a month off. Even a week off would be heaven.” He paused, a furrow appearing between his eyebrows. “You want a lift anywhere?” Result! Sal sounded hesitant and unsure of himself, which just made him even more appealing for some stupid reason.
“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks. It’s not far.” I smiled back at him and that spark in his eyes flared brighter. I wondered if he’d be so hesitant when I got him into my flat. And I was definitely luring him into there, broken metatarsal or not.
While Sal fetched his car round I called Marcus to cancel the ride. He sounded relieved. Actually, judging by the rhythmic slurping and groaning noises in the background, he sounded like he was in the middle of getting a blowjob from Trevor, so we were both glad to get the call over with as soon as possible.
As I hung up I caught sight of Sal pulling up outside the doors in a crappy old Volkswagen. I tried to head over to the exit, but every step was agony. I closed my eyes and whimpered like a baby. Yeah, I know. I’m not proud of myself, but the implications of my injury were starting to sink in. No work, no income, no fun for at least a month. Possibly longer. I was going to go doolally hanging around the flat by myself all that time.
Then a strong arm wrapped around my back and a warm body nudged up against my side. “It’s okay,” Sal murmured into my ear, his breath gusting hot against my skin. “Just hang onto me. I’ve got you.”
It was nice, leaning into him like that and letting him lead. Not demeaning, like I’d expected. More of a comfort, really. Perhaps this was what I’d been missing out on in my feckless life.
I clung onto Sal’s arm as he fumbled with the passenger door lock, surreptitiously feeling up the bulk of his biceps through the thick layer of sheepskin.
“D’you mind waiting a moment?” Sal asked once I was strapped into my seat, but he’d disappeared back inside before I could answer. Then I saw him heading back holding a pair of grey metal crutches. You know the utilitarian National Health Service issue ones? My heart sank, but I gave a brave smile when I saw how pleased with himself he looked.
“Got you these. They’re a bit tight-fisted about handing them out, but I reckon you’ll be needing them.”
“Thanks. That’s really kind of you.” Maybe I could jazz them up a bit with a fresh coat of paint or something. Accessorise, you know? I had a reputation to think about. Chocolate brown would probably go with most of my clothes. I stuck to warm shades to go with my colouring. Red heads always look best in olives and rusts. It’s just one of those things.
I glanced over at Sal as he started the car. He didn’t look like he gave a shit whether his clothing coordinated or complemented his skin tone. Plus he’d been wearing those froggy scrubs, and was driving a piece of shit car. He even had one of those wooden bead seat covers I hadn’t seen since Gran passed away. It kind of suited him, though, in a strange way. You know how there’s some people you just can’t imagine in flashy cars? Or more to the point, I didn’t want to imagine him in a Merc or a sports car. He’d have looked like a pretentious twat driving something like that.
Made me wonder what he’d make of my Triumph convertible. Still, at least it was vintage and had a bit of class. God knew what someone like me was doing in it. Like the ditty goes, “my old man’s a dustman,” and all that.
“So what made you decide to be a radiologist, then?” I asked, thinking to steer the conversation in that direction before he asked me anything about my imaginary career fighting fires and heroically rescuing kittens from up trees.
“I’m a radiographer, actually.”
“What’s the difference?”
Sal gave just about the driest chuckle I’d ever heard. “Well, apart from the fact radiologists are qualified doctors, it takes them about half an hour to rake in as much dosh as I make in a whole day.”
“So you’re not in it for the money, then?”
“Not likely. I’d been working as a lab assistant and I wanted to carry on doing something vaguely scientific, but also get a chance to work with children. I did my training at the Children’s Hospital.” He turned to face me briefly while we waited at the lights outside Temple Meads. “I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a full time post there the next time one comes up. That’s why I bought those frog covered scrubs.”
“How come the hospital don’t provide uniforms, then?”
Sal snorted. “They used to, apparently, but they lost the laundry service in cutbacks so they figured if we’re washing them ourselves, we’ll take better care of them if we have to pay for them too. It’s a right pain in the arse, though. Especially when you’re working a long block of shifts.”
“Sounds like a nightmare,” I muttered, thinking of my towering pile of dirty laundry. All that spare time, and I still couldn’t get around to it fast enough.
“Nah, it’s a great job, and I love the Children’s Hospital. If you think the scrubs are a bit much, you should see the lead aprons they’ve got there. All covered in cute patterns. It’s surreal, but it makes the kids less scared of what’s happening to them.” Sal smiled affectionately, and I got a glimpse of how he’d be with the kids. Not patronising or talking down to them in any way. Just reassuring in that calm way of his.
“Don’t think I could cope with the hours.”
“Can’t be that different to yours, though,” Sal said. “I mean, what with you being a public sector worker like me.” There was something kind of off about his tone, and I wondered if he had some kind of beef against fire-fighters. Maybe he’d been dumped by one once, or something.
“Yeah, I suppose not. The shifts can be hard work.” Now I felt proper guilty, digging myself in deeper and deeper with the lies. I could be a right twat sometimes. And Sal? Well, he was all earnest and thoughtful and responsible. Huh, I never would have thought I’d find that appealing. It was downright unsettling, is what it was.
For the rest of the short drive I concentrated on inhaling his pine resin scent, acutely aware of how close our bodies were in that metal box. I think I must have been drunk on the pheromones, to be honest. How else could you explain the fact that I was half-hard on nothing more than the memory of his arm around me? It was only the sequins digging into my dick that stopped me springing a full-on boner.
All too soon we were outside my flat. I gazed up at the third floor window. Times like this, I wished I lived in a more modern building with a lift.
“Look,” Sal said, pointing up at the sky which was currently doing its best to imitate a nightclub ceiling glittering with rhinestones. I hadn’t seen it that clear in ages. “You can see some of the stars tonight for a change. That’s Polaris.” He pointed to a bright pinprick somewhere over Filton. “The pole star.”
I guess Sal meant to be romantic or something, but all I could think of was how Marcus always introduced me on stage as his “Pole Star”. I realised I didn’t want to stretch this lie out any further, and took a deep breath for courage. “Listen, Sal, there’s something I need to tell—“
“I’ll see you inside,” Sal interrupted, before I’d had a chance to finish.
“Will you now?” I teased, relieved to be back on familiar ground. “Bit forward, aren’t you?”
“That’s rich coming from you.” The corners of his mouth twitched as he gave me a stern look. “You need someone to help you up the stairs. And that’s not all you need, is it?”
“Now that you mention it, I might need a bit of help getting out of these clothes.”
“Thought so. Good thing we’re both trained professionals.”
Guilt twanged me in the guts again. I was going to have to tell him, and soon. I mean, he was going to figure it out in no time if he helped me get my clothes off. I was fairly certain official fire-fighters’ trousers didn’t have Velcro strips down the sides. And then there was the spangly thong...
But with Sal’s strong arm wrapped around my waist in the dimly lit stairwell, I couldn’t face breaking the spell. I let myself cling onto the illusion for just a little longer—step by jarring, uncomfortable step.
And then we were outside my door, and before I could locate my key, Sal had pressed me up against the wall with his whole body. His five-o’-clock shadow scratched my cheek as his hot breath gusted against my ear. My cock sprang to full attention, and I was delighted to feel an answering hardness pressing against me.
Then his lips found mine, scorching and needy. He devoured my mouth thoroughly, in a way that promised an utter ravishment should we ever make it to the bed.
“I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I first saw you,” Sal murmured. “It’s been a long wait.”
“Mmm, you’re so impatient. It’s only been a couple of hours.”
Sal gave an odd laugh. “Yeah. Can you let us in?”
I fumbled for the key in my jacket pocket with trembling fingers, my concentration not helped by Sal’s hips pressed against me from behind. Oh fuck. I had to tell him now. Better to get it out of the way. It wasn’t fair to deceive him, was it?
“Listen, Sal,” I began, as the door swung open and I stumbled inside. “About what I was trying to say in the car. I’m not really a—”
My legs were swept off the floor by an arm behind my knees, and I found myself cradled in Sal’s arms. Shit, he was a strong ’un. I might be slim, but I’m no featherweight. I looked up at his face and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Are you going to let me say my piece?”
Sal gave me this grin that was all kinds of wicked. “You can tell me when you’re lying down. Now which way’s the bedroom?”
I pointed to the bedroom door and simply let myself enjoy the sensation of being carried. Oh bugger. I really hoped he had a stripper kink. A lot of guys seemed to, but then again, I had to admit my not-so-objective sample was taken from the guys who frequented clubs, so it probably wouldn’t stand up to scientific scrutiny.
As Sal edged through the doorway I found the light switch. Okay, it could be a bit of a mood killer being flooded by the 100 watt bulb, but then again, so was tripping up over my laundry and landing face first in a pile of sweaty jocks. Unless you were into all that kinky shit, of course. Maybe I should start selling them online to make a bit of cash while the foot healed.
I was prepared to be thrown onto the bed, but Sal placed me down gently, then grabbed a pillow to raise my gammy foot. It was such a tender gesture, I had this stupid surge of emotion that made my eyes water. Damn it, I wanted more of this kind of treatment. What’s more, I wanted to be in a fit state to look after someone else like that.
Someone like Sal.
“I’m not a fireman,” I blurted out. “I think you should know now, because if you’re going to go and get all weird about what I do for a living, I’d rather you did it before I’ve had a chance to get attached to you.” There. Couldn’t say fairer than that. I watched his face nervously, which was dumb, because I didn’t do nervous.
Sal went and surprised me by crawling over so he was on all fours above me, and then quirked his lips in a half smile. “Yep, I know.”
“You know?”
“Yeah.” The half smile turned into a full on grin. “I recognised you straight away. I’ve got one of your cards. How could I forget a face like yours?”
Sal’s weight shifted and then the Velcro on the front of my jacket tore open, exposing my naked chest. Felt like he’d ripped apart whatever handle I had on the situation. “So you mean... you know?” Yeah, okay, I’ll admit it wasn’t all that eloquent, but I was still trying to figure out if he was saying what I thought he was saying.
Sal towered above me, openly smirking. He ran his hands over my chest, the pressure of his palms sending shockwaves firing through my body. His hands moved lower, lower, down to my hips where he grabbed hold of my waistband and pulled hard. The Velcro gave way with a roar as a rush of air cooled my super-heated groin.
“I definitely remember this,” Sal said, staring down at my spangly thong. Or perhaps at my dick, which was currently peeking out at the side in a bid for freedom—like it wanted to make new friends and explore new places. I do have a memorable dick, I’ve been told. Marcus has made it clear on more than one occasion that it was the reason he hired me—the pole dancing skills were a pleasant bonus, but not essential when you’re as well-endowed as I am.
“So wait, hang on!” I protested as Sal bent his head to lick my neck. I was a goner if he kept that up, and I wanted a few answers first. “You’ve seen me perform?”
“Seven times so far. I just can’t help myself. Whenever I’m not working and you’re performing in town, I make sure I’m there.” His words were punctuated by stubbly kisses, and I ground myself up against him, despite the spiky sequins and throbbing foot. “You’re the best dancer I’ve ever seen. It’s breathtaking, the way you turn taking your clothes off into an art form.”
I swelled inside. He sounded genuine, not like he was just feeding me a line to get inside my pants. “So you knew all this time, and you’ve been letting me make a twat of myself pretending to be a fireman?”
“Yeah.” Sal gave a cheeky grin that was so cute it should have been illegal. “It was fun, watching you lose your cool.”
Bastard! But something else was bothering me more. “How come you’ve never come up and said anything after a show?”
Sal stopped nuzzling my neck and gave me a serious look. “I thought I’d prefer to stick with the fantasy. You could have been a right wanker.”
“But I’m not, right? I mean, apart from the pretending to be a fireman bit.”
“Well...” Sal’s smile had a hint of mischief to it.
Right. Two could play at that game. I grabbed his prick through the denim, shocking a grunt out of him. “I’ll have you know, mate, I’m bloody amazing wanker. Best you’ll ever have.”
“I hope you can back up that claim,” Sal rasped. “I’m going to need some proof.”
“Coming right up.”
I thought to myself how lucky I was I’d only buggered up my foot, because getting Sal’s jeans open with a broken wrist would have been a damn sight more difficult. I’d just tackled the zip when Sal moved off me, ripping the rest of my trousers away as he went. I shivered a little.
“Come back. It’s chilly in here.”
But Sal just gave me this heated gaze which definitely helped warm me up, although not as much as some body contact would have done. “You know what you were saying earlier, about your frog-patterned boxer shorts?”
I grinned. “Yeah, I figured we must be made for each other when I saw your scrubs.”
Sal’s face broke out in a cheery grin. “Exactly what I thought when you started talking about The Simpsons.”
“Huh?” What did that have to do with the price of bread?
But I didn’t have to wonder for long, as Sal wiggled his hips and then pushed his jeans down. Brightly coloured boxers were revealed, and oh my God, it was only Homer Simpson brandishing a tube of radioactive whatever-it-was! I laughed, delighted at the coincidence, and that I wasn’t the only one in ridiculous undies.
“Come here, you.”
Sal shuffled closer and I rolled over, ignoring the pain stabbing through my foot. I buried my head against Sal’s crotch, mouthing him through the cotton. Then I realised where my lips were and had to pull back, sniggering.
“Sorry, I think you’re gonna have to take those off. I can’t face snogging Homer Simpson right now.”
Sal chuckled and pushed his boxers down, revealing a tasty looking package I couldn’t wait to wrap my lips around. “Can’t do this as well as you do,” he said, as he threw them over in the direction of the laundry pile.
“Looks like you’re doing pretty well to me. Better than I can manage right now, anyway.” I cast a rueful glance at my thong, which dazzled under the overhead light. “I’m gonna have to take this off. The bloody sequins have been chafing my bits all evening.” They got me right on the shaved strip where my skin was extra sensitive. I didn’t shave all my pubes off, before you ask. Most of the other Backroom Boyz did, but with redheads, the audience liked to be able to see that collar and cuffs matched. Instead I just kept my bush trimmed and shaved everywhere else so it’d be a nice surprise when I ripped my thong off.
Sal gave me hand doing just that, but his face was a peculiar mix of concern and lust when he’d exposed me. “That looks sore,” he said, before leaning down to press a kiss to the juncture of my thigh.
“Mmm, I’m sure you could kiss it better.”
Sal took me up on the challenge, putting his lips and tongue to good use. As he bathed my groin in spit, I forgot about my broken foot. Forgot about everything but the sensation of that sexy man tonguing my skin, his breath and stubble tickling my nuts as he moved down. I needed more sensation on my dick, so I licked my hand and went to grab it.
“No. Mine,” Sal growled, batting my hand away.
“Really? Could have sworn it was mine, last time I checked.” But I was grinning, because there was something about a possessive streak that really did it for me. So long as it was confined to the bedroom, that is. Or the bathroom, kitchen table, sofa, alley, toilet stall... well, you get the picture.
So I lay there, my ankle propped up on a pillow, my hands clutching the bedsheets, and my dick waving around in the air while Sal made love to my bikini line. Frustrating, yes, but with every lick and nuzzle the churning pleasure built up inside my balls, until I felt ready to blow if a stray breeze touched my dick.
“C’mere.” And bugger me if I wasn’t whining—well, bugger me or suck me or something. Anything! “Want to suck you too. ’S’not fair, you hogging all the fun.”
“Patience, Matt, patience,” Sal chided, but he shuffled around and straddled my head with his knees, before leaning back down again to resume his peculiar brand of cock and ball torture.
I took a moment to check out what was on the menu before chowing down. Sal’s skin was a smooth olivey colour, the dark hairs of his lower legs not really starting in earnest until halfway down his thighs. He smelled of some old fashioned soap, like that Pears stuff Mum used to buy, and I figured he must have showered before leaving work. But there was another scent coming from him: a thick, musky arousal that made me drool with hunger.
I eyeballed his thick, veiny cock and bulging nutsac. He might not have been quite as big as me, but I wasn’t gonna hold that against him. Well, not unless we were talking frottage, that was. I’d have been quite happy to hold it against him then. Sal’s stubbly cheek brushed my dick at that point and I shivered, desperate to feel his hot mouth wrapped around me.
Maybe I should just get on with blowing him and he’d get the hint.
I took a swipe with my tongue down his shaft, then lavished a bit of attention on his balls, drawing one into my mouth and sucking. Sal groaned, the sound rumbling through his body and into mine, shaking my bones like the bass line in a club. When I traced the veins up his shaft with my tongue, he gave another one of those deep groans and paused in his relentlessly frustrating cat’s wash.
“Do we need rubbers for this?” Sal asked, and I was pleased to hear how hoarse his voice sounded.
“I’m in the clear.” I ran my tongue around the thick ridge and teased his slit before continuing. “And I’m happy to suck you without one, but they’re in the drawer if you don’t wanna risk it.”
I pulled back his foreskin and started sucking on the velvety head of his cock while he mulled it over. Perhaps it wasn’t fair of me to mess with his thinking like that, but he tasted way too bloody good to stop.
“Mmm, that’s good. Oh yeah, just like that,” Sal moaned. I’d reduced him to panting now, and was feeling pretty smug about it when he went and sucked me right to the back of his throat.
I pulled off him in shock. “Bloody hell!” Sal’s throat squeezed around me and it felt like he was chuckling. He shouldn’t have been able to take me that deep straight off, but it appeared I was in the hands of someone who knew his way around a stiffy. Well, that made two of us, I reckoned, so I set about giving him my very best too, bringing my hands into play. That was where I had the advantage, as Sal needed one of his to prop himself up, but he used the other to jack the base of my dick while he teased the head with his sinful tongue.
I’ve got to be honest with you, I’ve had an awful lot of 69s in my time and taken part in more than one daisy chain, but that first time with Sal blew the rest of them out of the water. Maybe it was the throbbing in my foot adding a certain masochistic spice to the experience, or maybe it was simply his technique, but I’m inclined to think now it was something else. We’d only known each other a couple of hours but I really liked the guy, despite the fact he’d admitted to being a borderline stalker. Well, okay, a dedicated fan, but that’s almost the same thing, right?
But when Sal ran his tongue around my cock head, or took me deep and swallowed, it was more than just the physical sensations that got me. This guy had looked after me. He’d fetched me crutches, he’d helped me up the stairs, and he’d slobbered all over my sequin rash. Let’s face it, he was a keeper. Even a flighty tart like me could see that.
So I redoubled my efforts to make this the best blowjob he’d ever had. I rippled my tongue and I fondled his nuts and I teased his twitching hole with my fingertips. I made hungry sounds to match the ones he was giving out, and then, when I felt his nuts tighten and his muscles clench, I grabbed on tight and wouldn’t let him pull away, but Sal released my cock instead.
“Matt, let me... oh fuck!” He propped himself up on both hands then his body stiffened and his cock pulsed in my mouth.
Hot spunk hit my throat with the force of a fireman’s hose, but it only stoked up the fires burning inside me. As Sal howled out something that may or may not have contained real words, my nerves sizzled and flared, and I shot my load from nothing more than the taste of his jizz and the sounds of him coming. Never knew I had it in me, which just goes to show even when you’ve reached the ripe old age of twenty-seven, your body can still surprise you when you’re with the right person.
I sucked Sal dry until the aftershocks faded, and then he pulled away and slumped down next to me, throwing an arm around my waist.
“Mmm, how d’you manage to be even hotter than I’d imagined?” Sal mumbled into my ear. “Shouldn’t be allowed.”
I reckon every last cell in my body was grinning right then. That one man’s appreciation beat all the cheering crowds and wolf-whistles in the world. I basked in it for a while, then turned my head to meet his intense gaze.
“Do you want to stick around for the next few days?” I asked, a funny feeling in my chest and throat. “You know. Just hang out together. See how it goes?”
“I’d like that,” Sal said, and I could have dived into his eyes the brown was so deep. “I’d like that a lot.”
And so I kissed him. Not a full on snog, but something sweeter, more tentative. Almost chaste, if it weren’t for the fact I could taste my jizz on his lips where I’d splattered his face. Sal made a happy sound, then his breathing slowed right down and I opened my eyes to catch him nodding off. He was dead cute when he was sleepy, but I was buggered if I was gonna freeze my nuts off all night.
“Hey sleepyhead, let’s at least get under the duvet before you crash out.”
“Hmm? Oh. ’Kay.”
And so we struggled under the covers, and even though my foot was still throbbing like a bastard, I swear I’d never felt so damn comfortable in my life as I did in Sal’s arms. I went to sleep plotting all the ways I could keep him there.
And you know what? My foot’s all healed up now, and Sal’s still around. In fact, I think I hear him now at the door. He’s moving his stuff in today and this little flat is going to burst at the seams, but that’s fine by me.
Just goes to show you, doesn’t it, that even though I take my kit off for a living, I can still hook a decent, hardworking professional bloke. And things are better at work now and all. Apparently loads of the punters were asking after me during my month off, so Marcus has been a hell of a lot more appreciative of me than he ever used to be. Even gave me a pay rise when I asked for one. What’s more, every performance he can make, Sal’s there in the front row and I get to look into his eyes as I strut my stuff.
I reckon I must be the luckiest bugger in the whole wide world, to have fallen in love with a man like Sal, even though he’s a light-fingered bastard. Oh yeah, I know he’s wearing my froggy boxers today. I saw him pulling them on this morning when he thought I was still asleep.
I am so getting those back off him in a few minutes!
End
English through and through, Josephine Myles is addicted to tea and busy cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. She writes gay erotica and romance, but finds the erotica keeps cuddling up to the romance and the romance keeps corrupting the erotica. Jo blames her rebellious muse but he never listens to her anyway, no matter how much she threatens him with a big stick. She’s beginning to suspect he enjoys it.
For more about her published work, saucy free reads and regular blog posts, please visit josephinemyles.com
I was stuck for inspiration for this story until Lou Harper—knowing my love of bizarre and kitsch underwear—sent me a picture of a pair of frog-patterned boxer shorts to kick-start my muse. The pattern instantly reminded me of the colourful lead aprons I’d seen in the Bristol Children’s Hospital when taking my daughter for an x-ray there. Sal, the sexy radiographer in the frog-patterned scrubs, was born.
Matt came along a little later, when a good friend of mine was telling me all about her cousin’s husband, who just happens to be a stripper who’s done very well for himself setting up his own troupe of male strippers. My friend asked “why don’t you write a story about a stripper?” and all of a sudden I realised just how perfectly a stripper would fit into a story that already featured bizarre clothing.
The last happy coincidence was when Lou sent me the mock up of the cover artwork. I’d asked her for a pole dancer but hadn’t given her much more to go on, forgetting to mention that Matt was a redhead. She couldn’t have found a better match for my vision of Matt. Some things are clearly just meant to be… rather like Matt concludes!
Novels and novellas:
Handle with Care (coming April 2012)
Short stories:
The First Impressions series: First Impressions, Fuzzy and Last Chance
Visit Jo’s website for details of her numerous anthology stories and news about her latest projects.

When Mr. Wrong measures up just right!
College tart Felix McAvoy is used to causing a stir with his conceptual art pranks, but for his final show he’s planning something even more outrageous. In a last ditch attempt to seduce his jaded tutor, Felix plans to wear the canvas in a subversive display. However, if he’s going to do this right he’ll need a tailor-made canvas suit. Fortunately, he knows just the tailor to turn to for the favour—and Felix isn’t shy about offering favours of a very different kind in return.
First year fashion student Andrew Wheeler knows Felix by reputation only–and plans to keep things that way. Andrew’s determined to save himself for the man of his dreams, and Felix couldn’t be more different from his ideal Mr Right. There’s only one use Andrew will contemplate for Felix’s body: a model for his end of year project. Trouble is, it’s going to involve a lot of close contact with a nearly naked Felix, and Andrew’s never had temptation quite so close at hand!
Find out more at Jo’s website.