The Virtuous Woman
By Lori Finnila
Copyright © 2010 Lori Finnila
LJ Publishing
Introduction
A virtuous woman is someone everyone wants to know, someone to be admired and looked up to. To some this might be perceived slightly different than from others. But to some, this woman in this story is the perfect replica of ‘the virtuous woman.’
Chapter One
All she feels are the blows as they come down striking now one after the other. The noise of it all just sounds simultaneously rhythmic as the hollow echoes of the sounds lay all around her. His dancing blurs of her vision seem to take her away somewhere, away from all of this that is going on. What she is feeling and receiving is unexpected and undeserving. Monica, the woman helping with this, proceeds to douse poor Celia's mouth with materials from the medicine cabinet which Celia cannot fight. Monica pulls on her hair and mentions both their lovers name now and of the child of his that she is carrying. Celia just blurts out a remark making it all seem senseless.
Monica was beautiful and an actress as well as Celia. She seemed to know how to please the men that came her way to get what she wanted. And Monica always seemed to get what she wanted. Her long blond locks seem to speak no questions but just answers as she would get what she wanted on her command. Celia had bypassed her in the number of motion pictures this year that she was making and now a baby of both of their lover’s was way too much for Monica to take. And she wasn't going to take it.
Monica took matters into her own hand. She somehow tricked Celia into thinking this man now beating her with her had wanted Celia, which he did but for the wrong reasons. He had been there just to hurt her for Monica and have fun with Celia in the process while at it.
Celia was so naive when it came to sex. She wanted to be explorative but never knew how to ask. This man, Laden, who was beating her now, would play with her playfully in bed showing her all the things she did not know. Celia seemed excited and that made all of the game more exciting to him.
He seemed sad when it was over when he had to do what he had been there to do to her and paid for. There had been new things he were throwing her lustfully every day. It all seemed so innocent and fun for a while until he had to move on to more serious things.
Celia and Monica had both been seeing Mercy, producer and director of Monica and Celia's pictures. Mercy loved to be with women and made each of them feel loved separately. But there was something about Celia he could not ignore.
Her spirit-like aura and gentle child-like qualities were something that never left her and something that kept drawing him to her more than any of the others. Celia didn't mind not having him to herself seeing as he treated her with the utmost kindness and respect of an adoring lover. When she needed him he always seemed to be there.
She would tend to throw little fits at times when she would find that he were not there. He seemed to be all about her at these times and more aroused than ever. This seemed to keep their sex life going. But he would never push her too far in what she were to do for him in bed. He seemed to appreciate her innocence and drew what he needed from the others.
Everyone else wanted to give him that anyway. They would make jokes that he were like a king with all of his beautiful women laying around him pleasing him at his will. Celia would never join in at these times though. She never felt comfortable and never wanted to know what was going on.
She would sit in the corner of the room looking out the window wondering what else may be going on out there at these times.
And while Celia was dreaming and while everyone else was working so hard to please Mercy this was leaving much resentment at this time from the others which he did not seem to be aware of.
Monica grew more and more jealous of this. Mercy never used sexual protection with Celia as he did with everyone else. And he made knowledge of this. Celia was his special one and his prize and somehow that must have meant that a man secretly wanted a child deep down with this person, so Celia felt. So it always seemed okay.
Celia and Mercy's times spent together were different than the others too. They would just spend hours in bed even when not love making just staring at one another and gazing at the stars. Celia would command food in bed and they would eat Chinese and pizza in bed after lovemaking.
She would demand the massages and the combing of her hair where the others would find places where no one else knew about on his body to try and please him to keep him close by.
He would always lavish on all of them giving them fine wines and fancy clothing for being his great friend.
But you can hear Laden and Monica now talking outside of Celia's door after beating her unsuccessfully into having a miscarriage and as to what they would do now. They had to decide as to this baby and as to what they will do with Celia. There were no phones in the room where she were staying.
This blessed event of pregnancy that came about was less than a blessed event to Monica and the others, and even Celia feeling that it was Laden's and probably not Mercy's after all and that she could not admit this to Mercy feeling he would never forgive her for this.
They even knew before Celia did that she was pregnant. Celia never kept track of her period. She felt when she got it was when she was supposed to. But everyone else had a calendar on her to be sure of the results each month.
One other time when she was late they had been talking about pushing her down the hall making it look like an accident.
But her period came a day later on it’s own.
But this time Celia was asked for a urine specimen by one of these women to help keep her on the set at the studio. She had been taking too many pain killers and was requested to stop. It was interfering with her work. She now had to have urine tests before entering the studio. Celia happily assisted understanding the problem. This woman had not been allowed on the set before.
Celia always wanted to happily help. If she could make a friend she was ecstatic. But this time it was not for the reasons she had been given.
It was quickly ran into one of the back dressing rooms where Monica waited. To her shock and horror as well as the others the test showed positive. It was all that everyone could do to compose themselves, but mostly Monica who was seriously upset. These women had their jobs because of Mercy and all the fine clothing they could ever want.
The lifestyle Mercy gave them they couldn't get anywhere else and they were not going to lose this over this selfish spoiled irresponsible brat who lived in her own dream world.
“A baby, huh! She thinks that she can just come along and spread her legs and bring his baby into the world and just shove us all aside. That is what he will do you know,” said one of the girls to Monica. “She was so stupid to give her urine up to begin with anyway,” another said. “She wouldn't notice if we did anything to her to prevent this pregnancy.” Monica agreed. Monica and both her friends agreed to devise a plan to carry out to have Celia miscarry this baby of Celia and Mercy's.
Before Celia knew it this man Laden was there before her eyes, so dark and masculine and lustful looking unlike Mercy, she could not ignore. She hadn't known she was pregnant anyway and a few weeks or days difference wouldn’t matter.
He just had to get her to sleep with him.
Chapter Two
He kept watching her all the time from afar. She was always aloof toward him yet he kept coming back like no other would. She couldn't figure this out.
Did this mean something? Was this a sign of some sort? Was this something she had been looking for?
Mercy had been very busy these past couple of months anyway. He had only spent a couple of days with her, where these were though the best two days that they had had together so far. He had caressed her so much this time and she had relaxed so much to the point that she had forgotten where she was because he hadn't seen her in so long he had felt and that's probably how she got pregnant. She had let go and released herself to him so much.
But this man Laden came about fancying Celia in a different way which she couldn't figure out or ignore. She felt she had learned enough to please another which she hadn't even thought of or felt before seeing this man not give up on her.
Mercy was the only one who knew she still had a lot to learn but didn't mind waiting. But now he was not around and here was this man just waiting to see what she had to offer.
One night when she was done shooting she had all but finished putting her scarf around her head from the wind outside when he abruptly but gently grabbed at her arm. She startled for a minute but could not help but to glare into his deep dark almost blackish brown eyes that ate right through her.
His muscular arms led her so reluctantly but so reliantly through to her cab waiting and then before she knew it he had jumped in with her. The whole way she could feel his hand moving onto her as he spoke as she squeamishly couldn't stop him. His voice was deep and dark and whisperish as he spoke and she shrilled with goose bumps running through her as her body started to go numb.
She didn't know what to do at this where everyone knew she was Mercy's and were too afraid to go near her before. But yet this man did not seem intimidated by anything.
She thanked him for the ride and started to proceed out the door as she could then feel his lips reaching her face as a polite gesture of farewell yet they seemed to make it to her ear slightly and now it was barely reaching her neck, and now touching where the erroneous zones were being chilled to the point where she could feel tingling in her arms.
She was so used to being touched in these areas that she felt helpless for the feelings to be finished. He led her out of the car door as easily as he led her into it and before she knew it she stood at her door.
His hard hand led his way into the key where the knob now turned and they both were pushed up hard against the wall of her apartment. She were afraid she would break but all she could feel was a large gash of warmth in her in one area where it took over more from any other feeling that she had been feeling at this time.
His stroke just kept going back and forth in ways that she could not keep up with. She could barely breathe at times and had to look into his eyes to beg for this but he would just stare back as he would keep going.
She was so helpless that he had all he could of her now helplessly shaking on the ground from every ounce of her being taken from her. And when he left she still did not know who he was.
His mysteriousness to him as to how quick he would come and how quick he would leave became accustomed to her from that point on. And she would relish these times taking to herself into the bathtub while waiting for him to show up again.
She started to falter in her work and he seemed the only one who could bring her around and back. She would beg him to stay around longer and wanted him to show up at the studio in sight but he would decline for he knew her and Mercy were still an item and he did not want to be seen.
He wanted the whole thing anonymous and at this time Celia did not care. Whatever this was about had all control of her and whichever way this went it was going to have to take its own course.
He began to teach her a few things that she couldn't believe she was letting him do. She had never welcomed new ideas before accept with Mercy who was reluctant to teach her too much.
She became excited at this time to try new ones. It was not like her but this man brought out excitement in her that she thought she never had and she never did have. She was seeing things in a different light now that she never saw before. He made lovemaking seem so natural even as he pressed on her so hard and she felt there were nothing wrong with expressing her feelings of what she wanted now.
Chapter Three
This pregnancy that Monica did not want to come about Celia was not sure who's it was. Laden and Celia never spoke of personal matters and the few words that were spoken were related to the act of sex.
It was a purely sexual relationship and Celia knew this. But as her period grew later and later, where she didn't keep track of it and it was showing up in her mind as being late, it was a sure tell tale sign that this was really happening. But she was not sure whom’s it might be, if she were pregnant, who the father might be.
She had never had this happen before, being late for a period, in her mind anyway. She was always so free spirited with Mercy she figured it would come when it did and if it didn't she knew Mercy loved her and he would always take care of her, always.
He was all she knew now her father leaving her with him at such a young age with all her beauty and talents and gifts he thought he were doing the right thing for her.
But all sense of this had gone now. She was confused. She hadn't thought at all about worrying about anything with Mercy as she had been taught. Yet this felt different. Her mind just seemed to be taken away somewhere else so far now to a world of her own that she had not known before, farther than she had ever been taken, to a sense of responsibility that she knew were never there but now here where there were no sense at all, to any of this to her and what was happening with her life now.
This new world to her was a world that came up out of nowhere, as though she had made her own utopia of all her dreams and fantasies in her own mind that were somehow becoming apparent as though popping out of nowhere right in front of her.
There were a few times that Laden hadn't used protection with her. He would hold her so tight arousing her so intently she couldn't stop him not to continue.
She did finally buy a pregnancy test after being two months late. She was by herself in her apartment. Mercy had called and was on his way in and had asked to see her. She was usually excited at these times and would breeze through her closet trying to figure out what to wear and how to wear her hair.
But now she just sat there horrified and terrified. Waiting for the results of what might be of this test. She finally decided to put the strip into the solution she made. She sat there waiting 3 minutes as instructed.
They were the longest 3 minutes she had ever waited. When she did look and saw it was positive she gasped and jumped her back into the bed frame.
What would Mercy say? What would he do if his precious was pregnant by another man?
How would he see her and how would she be portrayed in his mind as well as everyone else's?
Would she still be his precious one and only one in their minds of their love? Would he forgive her and take her and this baby in as his own?
Or would he thrust her into the cold open barren city to take care of herself?
Just then her door knocked and she had figured that Mercy came in early and he sent her ride over.
She opened the door to see Laden there. He never announced himself. She tried to speak of her plans but as usual he was all over her as quick as he came.
She once again couldn't help herself and let the both of them finish just as quickly forgetting her horror she could now see he realized what was up there on the nightstand before him. He saw what she knew now, that she were pregnant.
She acted astray and backed away from him showing her uncertainty to the idea. From this he became surprisingly violent in a way now that she had never seen from anyone or from him and he started to grab onto her arms harder than he ever had.
She tried to explain to him that she got caught up in the moment and just couldn't stop as though it were her fault. She even told him of Mercy which he already knew and said that it might even be his though she doubted this because she hadn't seen him much lately with him being away.
This threw Laden into more of a till. Just as this were said he began to drag her from her bed now. “Put some clothes on,” he said. “What do you mean?” she cried as she quickly listened to him. “Why are you doing this?” she said.
As quickly as he came and pleased her was as quickly as he took her away now. All she could do was weep as he dragged her through the street and now to his apartment which was dark and gray like him.
She wasn't even sure where she was where she had never been to his place until now where she found herself chained to his bed where she couldn't move.
The chains were long enough to make it to the bathroom and that was it. She just laid there crying now wondering where Mercy were now and she knew that he would be worried. She never missed him when he came home.
Laden proceeded to beat her night after night until her face were so swollen she couldn't recognize herself in his mirror. The once beautiful face was cracked now and badly bruised.
He would force her to eat broth everyday and that was the only thing that he would let her eat. He felt that he could starve the baby to death not wanting to leave a mark on her body where the baby was so he wouldn't be accused of killing it. He hadn’t had any special plans for this where he had not been told exactly why he had been passed on to Celia.
Celia thought for certain her sadness if not the beatings would kill the baby for sure, not knowing now if she even wanted it feeling it was this man's for sure at his actions.
The hate she felt from him towards this child, his own child, was all she could think that he didn't want and his shame he didn't want anyone else to know. She had to wonder if he were married or maybe just scared of Mercy. She couldn't understand his anger in why he would be so unkind at knowing this.
She became weaker and weaker and started to feel cramping. She felt that she might lose this baby right now as he wanted and it would all be over. She couldn't help but to want this all over and to just have this miscarriage and maybe he might leave her alone.
He ended up unlocking her chains to let her get cleaned up in the bathroom. He even let her have time to herself to do this. He had not touched her sexually all this time and she were grateful. She felt she may throw up at all of this.
When she started to try and wash her wounds on her face in the sink she thought to look for some disinfectant in the medicine cabinet. She then could hear Monica outside the door, the two of them talking.
Laden had expressed how if Mercy found out he would take Celia in for sure and the others would be left out. This was Monica's main fear and Laden knew this now and this was why he was upon to begin with.
Monica now angrier than ever that this treatment hadn't brought the outcome that they had waited for they had to bring some other plan about.
Laden were sure this was not his because he was sterile. Just at that Celia gasped trying not to let on that she heard this. There were a few bottles of prescriptions in the cabinet and she took a few in her hand and hid them until Monica left thinking that she could use them to put him to sleep and escape.
One appeared to be Valium for sleeping and the others anti-depressants. She peeked around the corner to see if he were looking in so she could take the time to get a closer look at the kitchen. The dates on the prescriptions were current and there weren't many left in there so she knew she had to use them fast before he noticed. She had all she could do to compose herself now. She trembled as she asked him for a cup of tea. This was not Laden's baby but Mercy's and she knew she had to fear that now.
She had to get out of there and to safety. She couldn't go to Mercy right away because Laden would lie and say it was his and Mercy would be heartbroken.
She had never been with anyone else but him. He would not understand and he could never forgive her. She may just be a tramp to him now. She had to make her way out of there and have this baby on her own and bring it to Mercy then him knowing and it looking like him. Then he would see and fall in love with it just as she had always known would happen and there would be no questions of this again.
Even if Laden came about in a way talking of love for her in front of him, their baby would overcome all of this.
Laden sat there staring at her in disbelief that she had the nerve to ask. He decided he was in for a tea as well so he said, “Sure, why not. You're not going anywhere fast. And you can make me one too.” So she quickly went past him, passing him by in the kitchen as she made her way out of his sight just long enough to slip a variety of the pills into one cup. She was glad she didn’t have to offer him feeling he would read her intentions.
Sweat poured down her face as she waited for the water to boil not wanting him to see what was in his cup. She added the bag and sugar trying to cover the pills as best as she could while waiting for the water. It seemed just as she poured he came around the corner suspicious wanting to know what was taking her so long.
He phoned Monica immediately after taking the tea as Monica had instructed him to after leaving for ten minutes. He was to state that he had not seen Celia to the staff at the studio and of his concern now placing him in her life openly. Monica said she would be there shortly again and that they would do this together to figure out what to do and how to take care of Celia together.
Just then as Laden hung up he found himself sleepy and disoriented and that was when Celia knew she had to make her dash. She ran out the door as he nodded his head on the table and seemed not able to move toward her fast enough to stop her.
Celia panicked and trotted slowly down the road dragging her tired self barely breathing from exhaustion from being in so much pain and without food for so long. As she looked back she could not see Laden as she was now bleeding into the streets.
She couldn't understand why she hadn't seen this before and how people could be like this. She couldn't move now but had to rest. He was far enough out of sight now.
She found an old curb with some boxes and a pot hole that was steaming some warm air which brought her some sense of security and comfort from all this. She fell fast asleep.
Chapter Four
She was awoken by a crashing sound of someone going through the trash looking for food or other things it seemed. She didn't know how long she slept and didn't even seem to know how many days may have gone by. But she was there and had some sense of it.
She found an old piece of cheese on the ground left by the passerby. She reached out and grabbed it. She didn't think for a second and put it into her mouth. She felt the sense of feeling of food go through her as her body needed strength from it. She smelled some other warm food close by and noticed a restaurant that she and Mercy would go to frequently.
It all made sense to her now. She thought again about Laden and how he had started to pull back on her in bed and acted very mysterious and strange and cold but she never noticed at the time and that she should have to the end results in his behavior and what he really was there for, to hurt her.
Maybe she didn't want to notice, of his unkindness towards her all along. And that he was with Monica to plan to hurt her to keep her from Mercy. Or how Laden could follow through and please her so easily without showing conscientiously of what he was really doing to her.
His hands had been rougher on her if they could have been anymore at these times. And she started to see marks and bruises whenever he would come around now. He started to throw tantrums just as she had with Mercy by ordering her around in what to wear and how to dress. She still didn't notice enough or put a stop to it.
She had thought she was feeling movement inside of her now. And “Oh, I think I do,” she had said to herself, a flutter of some sort that she never felt before. Something to tell her that there were life inside of her still and letting her know that it was there for her to recognize and that it was okay.
She felt she had to fight for it now and herself more than ever. She pulled herself up and cleaned the spots of blood on her from some water puddles on the ground.
She still wasn't thinking straight enough to call Mercy because she wasn't safe enough. She felt they would just find her and beat her senseless until she couldn't think again, fearing what might happen if she they did.
They both now had tried unsuccessfully to make her miscarry. Laden, her abuser now, who had pounded on her constantly and had left her to die, and, Monica, a woman who she thought was her true friend.
She only had herself now but that was enough. She could do this for her baby if she had to. She was separated from the only security she ever knew now though, Mercy.
She stopped for a drink of water from an old rusty pipe sticking out from the street that was trickling some water onto the hot cement. Her hands too weak to turn the knob she grasps with her wrists and turns. She could barely feel the cold water run onto her face, but the relief was welcoming.
Trash was blowing all over the streets into her face as the dust of the dirt from it into her mouth. She could hear the loud trains roaring underneath her. She could feel some sticky substance by her side. She cared not to know what it was and decided to move on. The restaurant was now beginning to close and she thought to go to the back door to beg for some free food. She had given food herself many times to the poor. The owner spotted her and thought he had seen her before but quickly dismissed the thought seeing her poor condition. She mumbled, “Please sir,” now in desperation, “I need some food.”
The man looked down on her and felt pity upon her. “Wait here,” he said. “I have some leftover dinner plates I was going to throw out.” He briefly left and then returned. “You can have these.” “Oh bless you sir. All I need is one for one small person,” she replies. “I shall not forget you. I will one day come by and repay you for your kindness.”
“Of course you will,” the man stated. God bless you.” And he was gone back inside the light of the living with all the music and charm she once knew. As the door closed behind her she could once feel again that she was alone by the dark dingy street by the trash cans.
The meat was cold but tasted good. She couldn't remember when the last time was she tasted food prepared so well. She could feel her strength coming back as she heard a rumble by the trash.
She looked up startled and somewhat surprisingly saw her abuser, Laden, glaring there now at her.
She gasped and tried to turn to begin to run clutching her side. His foot came out too fast for her to move from him as he tripped her onto the pavement smashing her face and her hip to the ground. Blood began to pour from her lips and she felt her hip bone crunch as she turned to the side.
She tried to scramble to her feet but her attackers, now Monica helping, pulled on her hair and she could feel the roots coming out into Monica's hands. As Celia tried to scream Laden began to put his fingers of his other hand not holding her into her mouth.
In desperation she bit as hard as she could feeling his skin and bones between her teeth. His scream and howl shrilled through the dark streets as he released her to hold his hurt hand which you could now see through some car lights.
Monica now was coming at her again and all you could hear and see was the trash being blown around into the back alley as Celia gasped in fear and panic. There were no way she was going to let Monica and Laden get to her again.
Celia took her nails and scratched so hard into Monica's skin that she bled. Monica drew back in pain and Celia scrambled to her feet and limped carrying her cut face and bruised hip around the corner.
As she made her way to the street the lights to the car that was shining came whizzing by as a bejeweled passenger hung his head out the window offering her a ride. She desperately ran in the car door accepting it.
Breathing heavy she looked over her shoulder to see her attackers through the back lights of the car she now rode in as Laden's blood poured down onto the pavement. She hadn't had a chance to make out who she got into the car with. The car smelt of some odd oils and the sounds of beads clacking were everywhere.
She could almost feel the familiarity in a movie she had done once on runaway girls. Her mind was settling enough now to notice the jewels of the man that were hanging his head out of the car window who invited her in.
The jewels were everywhere. They were of many different colors and textures. She had never seen so many. She was in awe of this.
He seemed like a strange person such as strange as the driver. But now she had to react to her pain and her weakness. She had to close her eyes for the pain of her hip was too overbearing. They were offering her safety and security from her attackers. She with no force accepted with a sigh of relief and kept her eyes closed.
She had no idea how long they drove when she could hear the car doors open and feel their hands lending out to offer the grab of her in hunger and discomfort as she accepted. Her grasp freed and they carried her into a house that smelt of moisture mixed with the feel of some heat. She was brought to a room and laid down. The rest was welcoming and as her eyelids slowly faded she could think no more.
She woke the next morning in a pink lit sunny room with all the quietness around it that anyone could want it seemed. With dark flowers all over the wall and candles lit it seemed of a shrine. The sun was shining bright and it seemed to almost make an image of some sort in the room. She felt she had been left in the hands of God. She quickly asked where she was as she noticed the tape now strapped to what appeared to be her cut hip.
The bejeweled man appeared again. She thanked the kind strange looking man for rescuing her as he told her she were somewhere safe. He acknowledged her gesture and left her in peace except to leave a tray of food for her and some washcloths. She couldn't figure out how she would ever repay them. But she was so thankful to be in a peaceful quiet serene environment. She drank her tea and ate her food.
This dream after days seemed to go on forever. Sipping tea and greeting food trays until her hip had healed. She had said that she would find a way to repay them over and over again. But she couldn't think of anything as to how she would. She had nothing and could never feel the feel of having anything before now.
She thought when she was well enough she would get to Mercy and tell him of these kind people and he would gladly repay them. She didn't know when. They said not to worry about it. Everything has a way of working itself out.
The next night she noticed it was extra quiet. She thought she heard a noise. As she started to make out that the door had shut behind her she started to feel a hand slip beneath her shirt onto her breast. She felt she couldn't move.
She froze and now realized who it was. It was the bejeweled man who was so kind to lend her a ride to here now in his room of his house that had brought her so much safety and comfort. She knew know what was expected in return for their hospitality.
He proceeded to move his mouth toward her breath as she gasped in discomfort and tried slowly to slide her body ever so slightly away from his mouth that was now working its way toward her breast.
His large mass of lip was almost completely covering it as she couldn't help to let out a sign. She had not been touched for so long her body couldn't help but react to it.
She next felt his hand slide down into her panties as at that point she became frozen. She knew what she was expected to do. She started to remember the familiarity and what it meant. She didn't want to startle him or get him upset.
She was there alone with no one to turn to again. She had to make up her mind what she was going to do. She moved in to him trying to make the man feel the comfort of her she decided.
She could smell liquor on his breath. She tried not to breathe it in. His beard was ruff and long as it ran along her. His hands were strongly all over her. And as he entered her his weight seemed massive on hers. She tried to respond back not to alarm him as she touched him back. His gruffness did not notice her apprehensiveness but only a hand coming back at him. The motions went on for awhile until they both had seemed relieved. He did not seem impressed by her assumptions but yet expecting.
She tried to endure as she had felt herself move out of herself feeling his feeling. He finished and then left her there alone, for her to clean herself up. She felt the distaste for this and used a nearby towel to wipe herself up.
She then pulled the sheets off and let them fall to the floor. All she could do was to draw off the rest of the clothing that hung to her and proceed into the bath where she ran some warm water and entered some bath oil.
She found some beautiful bath beads close by of pink and pearl color. She fancied them as the thick porous liquid dripped slowly into the clear bath water as she climbed in. The oils slowly melted any signs of what just happened from her in her mind and melted its way into the water beside her as she lay now.
The water was so warm and inviting as her mind only seemed to absorb it. Her body was too numb to assimilate what was around her.
She did not react as in time but in a place that was surrounded by her. Her eyes filled with tears as she felt her body shamefully reoccur what she had just felt. She lay in the tub for hours as she wondered how often she would have to do this.
She was in no shape to fight off any more attacks at this time. And her baby was safe here inside of her. That is all that she could think about now. If she had to do things to please these men then she would.
She drained the tub and filled it this time with an array of bubbles. These smelled of sweet fruits as she giddied as a child as some of the bubbles floated through the air. Her hands ran over her body as she could now feel the instance of what just had happened was just another memory, still too far back to acknowledge at this time.
Her baby just then started to stir inside of her as she reached for a robe to get out of the tub. She had to shield it from all that was around her and going on. “Please don't ever be like this my little one,” she whispered to her tummy and she went to go get dressed. She didn't want them entering when she wasn't dressed leading to more of this. She wondered if she had to please the other as well.
Chapter Five
She would go to the gardens where she would smell more sweet smells of flowers as to the oils in her bathroom and the ones used on her now so sweet and soft smelling body. She would hear other people from afar in the streets from time to time but slowly ignore it not responding to it enough to want to connect at this point, outside in the gardens, and how she could hear the children playing out there in the streets.
As time passed as she thought the other man decided to eventually come in too to her but she was sitting up now in a chair. She had some fancy lingerie that they had given her that she was requested to wear. Her hair was up with pretty flowers which they liked and she smelled of beautiful perfumes.
She couldn't remember when she had been taken care of so well except by Mercy. The actions that went along with it were uninvited but she couldn't resist them. She couldn't help but to somehow find some sort of pleasure in their feel as the control of them and their actions so reminded her of something deep, dark, and strange which led a mysteriousness inside of her that she once had felt before.
She could somehow leave herself when this was happening and go to an allude place in herself and explore the deep darkness of such an allowed hollow of deep strength that drew inside of her as she would release herself not being able to help it with the difference of the pleasure she was receiving.
They loved to reciprocate with her which seemed strange to her with their demands. Their intensity to their actions brought them intense pleasure in watching and hearing her and for that it was all that they could do to keep away from her.
The gifts kept pouring in for her and she had never been so sexually pleased in her life. Their form or shape or look meant nothing to her. The acts were all that she could think of when they came in. She felt like a queen sitting in a chair and she was the main actress to perform for them but with such an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment.
They felt they could not live without her and as her being caressed let her know of this and that they would die without her begging her of their concerns now that she would leave and how she needed not to go past the gardens of the house for she was theirs to keep. “And you know we will give you anything you want and everything you need don't you?” they said. And she seemed to somehow fall into this as she had started to recognize some sense of feeling of this kind of security that she once had so long ago.
Chapter Six
She seemed to lose track of getting back to Mercy where she had once set out to do. The helplessness had faded into a mode of trance that she was stuck in. The men didn't seem to notice the size of her stomach or seem to care or mind as they fed her well.
She didn't understand this extra unfamiliar hold that they had on her. What were she to fight where they were doing so much for her. This kind of loving so to speak of torture was so unfamiliar to her she didn't know how to respond. They were taking care of her and giving her safety that she had never had so much of before. Why would someone want to leave this?
The days became too short now and the nights so awaited for. She was only allowed to go out into the gardens from time to time as she had been told for her safety even though she knew what they really felt and how much it meant having her all to themselves. Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face she in the back of her mind wondered about this.
The sun and the garden helped her through these times. Her life seemed frozen now as though there were no purpose. The baby she would even forget about. She could seem to think of nowhere to go as she was certain there were nowhere to go in life but here. She could not go to Mercy now. She was not of his kind anymore. He would never understand.
There were never any plans on the agenda just bathing and tending to the garden and being pleased or pleasing but she was not being pleased as much anymore. She was not feeling the same draw from them and feared this was something they would notice. She didn't want to anger them and feared they probably were growing tired of her. This is what she was feeling and felt they would soon look for another.
She knew she only had so much time before she would have to make a move and find other shelter and safety realizing now looking down and feeling with her hand on her stomach that there was a baby and her baby would come soon.
She had not discussed the baby with them seeing as she was so lost herself and scared from her previous experience of what they might do and decided she wanted to be out before the birth. But she couldn't figure out how.
She remembered at the beginning how she was told that they could not live without her. But her baby was so much larger inside of her now she knew she needed to go. She needed more space and freedom.
At times she would venture to the kitchen and slowly make gestures towards some of the pots. No one ever spoke to her yet about doing anything down here and she didn't want to push her way through into the kitchen. She thought of maybe cooking sometime even though that was never her forte.
Some days things were brought in that she never saw before and wanted to try to cook them. The what appeared to be produce would have very large and odd sizes that were of a variety that she had never seen before. It was as though they were growing their own garden of an array of indifferent produce. The kitchen mostly looked as though it weren't touched often yet she was fed greatly. There was one fridge for the liquor and the other for whatever food was in the house.
There was food regularly stocked in there. She started with the tomatoes, looking at them. She loved the way tomatoes tasted. Maybe she can now hear things in the background being said by them.
There was a different entrance to the garden out there. The whole garden was fenced in but this seemed more open to the street and the public. She would venture out there one day.
The men started speaking of maybe bringing in other women hoping she was not going to resist this as she could over hear this now being in the kitchen so often. And Celia dreading to have to do this always turning this down with Mercy, knew she had to find an ulterior motive to get out. She decided at this time to pretend not to hear this and ignore it and learn to cook something new.
Chapter Seven
The uncomfortable place of them being so close is so apparent now. The two of them which they never did before came in together with a woman this night with the idea now about other women being involved.
They both brought their best appetites when they mentioned this and thought for sure now that she were ready for this but it wasn't working. She could not get the intentions for this.
Her hip had healed nicely and she was taken care of so well she looked like a picture of perfection to them and herself. They didn't want to push and lose her desires. They left the other woman standing there.
One started to take Celia's clothes off while the other undressed that night. As one touched her the other pressed on her as he would let out great moans. She did not know what to do to this.
It was more than she had ever seen before. They had seemed to lose all sense of feeling pleasure from her easily. All her sexual moves were gone at this point. This was too foreign to her and she felt so totally out of control that she feared the helplessness of it all would turn them off into a frantic she felt she knew. But they didn't seem to notice as they caressed her.
She kept looking over her shoulder now at the window as trying to think of leaving, trying not to concentrate on what was going on, ignoring all the noise she heard so many times before in Mercy's room when all the other women would be there and she would crouch in her corner of the room at these times and look out the window not to listen.
As though Mercy seemed to sleep through it all, the curtains now slowly blinded the men as they blew out towards them as the bejeweled man dressed himself not noticing her thoughts as she could see the similarity of it all.
He began to notice her discomfort as she watched the other go toward the women standing. She seemed to lay there in a deep dark faraway place now where no one else was. There had never been a question of force on his face before as it stood there seemingly now to her.
He replied, “With you Celia nothing can hold us back now. There are no bounds for our love for you. You must know this now. You’re going to have to get used to our love. It is our greatest gift to you.” She did not reply because she did not know of any other kind of act of love now or ever.
The men to her, which was all they were, were not always together now when they came in and she was grateful for that. Her life was frozen now as though there were no purpose. She could think of nowhere to go as she knows there is nowhere to go.
She paused and caught a glimpse of herself one day in the mirror as she stared in shock. She wondered what happened to her career and the woman once who had to have her face in the camera to be happy.
She couldn't think of where it all began now. She couldn't think of who she was now or who she ever was. She tried so hard to cling to a memory of who this woman was that she was staring at but she couldn't find it anywhere inside of her.
The pain of it all was so over bearing to think of this as she felt to push herself away now. She could never find anyone inside.
Chapter Eight
She finds something different today. She notices in the garden this time from the kitchen she hears the sounds of laughter from other children now and it all seems to feel so much closer to her now. She feels the need to inspect this.
She moves towards the kitchen door that leads to the garden and goes through it for the first time. She slightly notices the faintness of fear as she emerges towards the fence that lends comfort to her eye to rest on it large enough for her to peak through.
She hears and sees a child running and playing and others walking around out there. She can feel the immense pleasure from this. She does not think right away but responds to her actions and reaches her hand for the gate door as she finds it opens easily for her.
The rest just seems to be just motions as she continues through the door and out onto the street. She feels the release of freedom as her body makes its way out into the street. Not stopping, not thinking, not turning and looking back, she just keeps walking.
She finds herself walking so far and so long that she finally realizes she's lost out in what seems to be the middle of nowhere.
She doesn't think of the men and their pain or grief from losing her or to think back at all about them but to find a new place to rest. She notices a hill with a small house on top of it and she begins to climb. It seems like hours now as she makes her way up the hill. So far up when she looks back down and over she begins to recognize the once great city where she worked and lived in, the great streets of Hollywood, always appearing down a hill and then up another with all of its excitement and expectations that came with it.
She now has climbed into a steep meadow-like hill filled with the scent of fresh flowers which she welcomed and the bees busying at her notice nothing unordinary about her.
She sits by them to watch them as they go about their business. She realizes there is a barn nearby on this hill. She slowly creeps toward it. Nothing appears to be inside so she creeps in. She finds all things of sorts, ropes, dry weeds, old sacks of potatoes, and some used gloves for weeding.
She sits down and grabs a potato and bites on it. It's not what she's been used to lately but it is food and she got it herself, not knowing whose it is, but she will repay them.
She goes back out and goes closer to the house and peeks in the windows. She finds the door is locked and no one is home. She goes back to the barn where she finds a corner and curls up and rests there for what seems like a long while.
Chapter Nine
Night comes and she hears a familiar sound. It is the sound of crickets that she used to hear when she was young. This makes her feel like a child. She would find music in their sounds and make melody and notes in her head of songs that she had heard before.
She finds an old instrument of some sort and she picks it up and begins to play. She remembers how easy it is to her and the strings look familiar. She begins to sing. The strokes of her hand bring her joy as the sound she always fought with now came up around her. She had to smile. The tease of the strokes sounding as though they were going to start something new, the excitement to sometimes find it, where to stay on that plateau would bring much exhilaration she would have to finish the climax of the feelings in that chord herself with no compromise whatsoever. She would find a way to please herself without anyone else.
She lays back down again for a very long time. Feeling deserving, she can't think of her past dreams. They will never fit into her life now. Mercy would never understand her either. He was not of any of this. How could she ever tell him of any of this.
After being there awhile it was time to have her baby. The water slowly broker as she had seen so many times on TV. The normalcy of the delivery seemed fine but painful. The baby boy rushed to her. She had found some old rope and a knife and lit the knife with a match before cutting the cord. After the afterbirth came out she lay there with her and her baby just resting now peaceful under the stars. She begins to nurse her boy Mercy, Jr. and finds pleasure in her potatoes that she will once pay back.
Chapter Ten
She once again roamed outside as she had so many times before listening to the crickets. The noise of the crickets outside at night had always brought her comfort. They made her feel young before any of this happened to her. The small animals now that would run around outside seemed to have no sense of her and her baby either being there. They would freely come to her.
She would pick berries from the bushes and hand feed them. She came to name some of them. And some of them would sleep with her in the barn with little Mercy sometimes, not too close but nestled in their own grooves that they could find.
She had to think was she selfish to have a baby, to need this to feel whole and less lonely by this.
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