SinEaster
Lotus Rose
Published by Lotus Rose at Smashwords
Copyright © 2010 by Lotus Rose
Cover art copyright © 2010 by Emma Björk~http://Honeykitten.deviantart.com
SinEaster logo by Lotus Rose
Discover other titles by Lotus Rose at loteyrose.com
Also by Lotus Rose: The Corruption of Innocence, MachoPoni: A Prance with Death, The Redemption of Reckoning, Faerie Brace-Face (forthcoming)
CONTENTS
Charlee, a seventeen-year-and-364-day-old hot blond girl, had hated Easter ever since she was seven years old. A lot of unpleasant things had happened to her on that holiday.
For example, there was the Easter morning when she was 15, when she had gone outside to find her house spray-painted with a red swastika and the words, “KKK HATES YOU!” She had no idea why the KKK would hate her. She had a peaches-and-cream complexion.
Then there was the Easter when she was 14, when she and her family had come down with a bad case of food poisoning after dinner. They’d spent the night in the emergency room.
And then there was the time when Charlee had a very bad Easter.
Seven-year-old Charlee had been so excited the night before Easter that she’d gone to sleep with her white bunny ears on.
Her father had handcuffed her ankles and wrists while she was sleeping, then tied a handkerchief over her mouth. He carried her to the living room and set her on the couch—she still had her droopy bunny ears on. Then he shook her awake.
She opened her eyes, then watched him. She remembered the crazy look in her father’s eyes as he stood and calmly held the sawed-off shotgun across his chest. He called out for Mama.
Mama called back from the bedroom, “I’m coming! Hold on…”
A few moments later, Mama entered the living room. She was still in her pajamas—she was smiling, and squinting—she looked half asleep.
Father rushed forward, grabbed Mama behind her shoulder and threw her to the floor. Mama fell to the carpet on her hands and knees. Then Mama looked over at Charlee, and Mama’s eyes went wide. Tears streamed down Charlee’s face as she sobbed and stared back.
Mama looked up at Father, who leveled the gun at her. Mama’s voice quivered as she said, “Wh-what are you doing?”
A strange expression came over Father’s face—a mixture of amusement with vacant eyes. He said, “Well, maybe I’m killing you. It all depends on whether you can find the egg.”
“What are you talking about? Quit joking around! This isn’t funny!”
“Well, it’s a little funny, but the joke is on me. Let me ask you a question. Do you remember an Easter eight years ago? It was before Charlee was born. About nine months before she was born…”
Mama was trembling. “What do you mean? I don’t remember, exactly. I remember we lived in the old house…”
“Yes, that’s right,” Father said. “See I’ve been trying to remember. I went to sleep with you and when I woke up, you were beside me, but who knows where you were the whole time I was asleep? Do you remember? Did you do anything that night?”
“I don’t know what you mean. I was asleep the whole night.”
“Ah, so now you remember?” he asked.
“Well, maybe I went to the bathroom during the night or something! How am I supposed to remember? What are you talking about? Put the gun down.”
Father shook his head. “Move and I’ll kill you. Now…try to remember that night. Do you remember ever getting out of bed and maybe…fucking somebody else!”
Mama looked up at him and swallowed hard. “Watch your language in front of Charlee. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well,” Father sneered. “Maybe you just forgot. Let me refresh your memory. Do you remember…being with a guy who was dressed in an Easter Bunny costume? In the garage? You were doing it doggy style? Remember now?” He seemed amused, in a sad, crazy kind of way.
Mama was choked up. All she could do was whimper, “No.”
“Now, before you deny it, I think you should know that I’ve seen the video. I got the DVD this morning, in my Easter basket.” He pointed to the end table, where a DVD was sitting next to a chocolate bunny and the lamp. He continued, “Someone wrote, ‘Unhappy Easter’ on the DVD. And I watched it. You were a lot prettier back then. There was a date stamp on the video, and I believe it—because of your hairstyle and the newspaper the guy in the bunny suit conveniently held in front of the camera before you came into the room. And I could see your shaved girly part. I kept telling you how much I hated that, because, like I’ve said, it’s pride, which is sinful—in fact, it’s the deadliest of the seven sins! And by a weird coincidence, you started letting it grow the day after Easter! Was it coincidence, or was it maybe out of guilt? It’s all pretty hard to deny. And don’t try to say it was really me fu—hugging you, because my rabbit suit back then didn’t look anything at all like the one in the video.”
“Oh god, please, baby! Let’s talk about it. I’m sorry, but it’s not what you think! He tricked me!”
“Somehow I doubt that. What are you going to say next? That you were raped? You seemed to be enjoying yourself quite a bit in the video. We both know about your…fetish.”
“Okay, I messed up! It was so long ago, though. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you! I’m sorry!”
“Who was that guy in the bunny suit? One of your exes? Wait, forget that, I’m not even sure if I want to know. You’re right, it was a long time ago, but now, you see, I’m wondering…” He shook his head. “Is Charlee even mine? How would I know?”
They both looked over at Charlee. Charlee with her bunny ears. Charlee who had gone to sleep only wanting to search for eggs and eat candy the next day.
Mama said, “Let’s not do this in front of Charlee, okay?”
Father shook his head. “No, I want her to know how you ruined Easter. She has to be here to see what happens. To see what a whore her mother is!”
“Watch your language!”
Father suddenly seemed ashamed. He nodded.
He lowered his head sadly, then turned to look at Charlee. “I love you, Charlee. I don’t know how I’d feel if I found out you weren’t mine. I guess I’d love you just as much, it’s just—” He shook his head. “Your mother has ruined Easter. It’s not your fault.”
He went to the end table and picked up the chocolate bunny that Charlee had been nibbling on the night before—she had eaten the eyes first, then one of the ears. Father smiled sadly, then said, “I’m like this bunny. I was too blind to see that your mother would hug and kiss anybody willing to put on a bunny suit.”
Mama screamed, “That’s not true! I made a horrible mistake, but I’ve always loved you! We can work on this! We can go to counseling!”
The vacant look in Father’s eyes terrified Charlee. He didn’t even look at Mama as he said, “We can go to counseling maybe…if you find the egg.”
“What are you talking about? What egg?”
“Well, since you have the habit of taking your wedding ring off while you sleep, I took it off the dresser this morning and I put it inside a plastic egg. I hid the egg somewhere in this room, along with seven other eggs…”
“You’re talking crazy,” Mama whimpered.
Father continued, “If you look on the shelf above the fireplace, you will see the egg timer. Push it and you will have exactly three minutes to find the ring and put it on your finger. If you do that, then we can try to fix things and stay together. If you don’t, then I figure it means God wants our marriage to be over, and I will blow your head off.”
“No! You’re sick! You need to stop and think!”
He pointed the gun at Mama’s head. “If you don’t play along, I will just kill you, because that, to me, means you’re not willing to put forth the effort to make this marriage work.”
“Please, honey!”
Father bit the ear off the chocolate bunny, then with his mouth full, said, “Can’t hear you. Press the timer now. Hurry or I’ll kill you.”
Mama seemed frozen in indecision for a moment. She looked at Father’s face, trying to read the expression…then she stood and walked to the fireplace. The egg timer was a device used to time the boiling of eggs. It was in the shape of an egg with a smiling face on it and it had arms and legs. When someone pressed the top of the egg, it swayed from side to side for three minutes, then it buzzed and shook when the time was up. Mama tapped down on the egg timer with her palm.
She then began frantically searching the room for the egg. Father stood calmly watching while he nibbled on the chocolate bunny head.
Mama found a yellow egg behind the television. With trembling hands, she opened it. A few jelly beans fell to the floor.
Father chuckled then said, “You might soon be a has-bean.”
Underneath the couch, Mama found a green egg. She opened it and looked inside, then flung it to the ground, spilling foil-wrapped chocolate Smooches to the floor.
Father said, “Smooch your life goodbye.”
Underneath a pillow on the couch, she found a pink egg. She opened it and almost began to sob as she let it fall, and on the carpet, a marshmallow chicken sat inside the plastic egg half.
Father said, “Feeling scared? A little chicken?”
The three minutes were almost up and Mama had begun sobbing hysterically. While on her hands and knees, she found another egg behind one of the legs of the couch. She picked it up just as the buzzer from the egg timer went off.
“Please!” she sobbed.
Father finished swallowing the bite of chocolate he’d just taken. He’d eaten the head off the chocolate bunny during the three minutes. “Have you learned your lesson? Stand up and face me.”
Mama stood and turned toward him. She still hadn’t opened the egg she’d just found. She looked into Father’s eyes, waiting.
He said, “The ring’s in that egg… So maybe you should put it on…” He gestured with his chin, then Mama opened the egg, and let the plastic egg fall. She put the ring on her finger, then her hands dropped to her side.
Father smiled. Slowly, he raised the headless chocolate bunny up and showed it to Mama, then he said, “But your time was up.” He leveled the shotgun at her and blew her head off.
Red splattered back and the headless body flew against the wall, knocking a painting of a flowery branch from the wall, then the body flopped onto the carpet.
And as Charlee thrashed in terror and screamed silently into her gag, Father set the headless bunny on the end table, then picked up the DVD. He turned to face Charlee. He raised the DVD and held it in front of his face. Then he turned the shotgun around and pointed it at his face. “Sorry, sweety,” he said to Charlee. Then he pulled the trigger and destroyed both the DVD and his head in a booming shotgun blast.
The police came shortly afterwards to find two headless bodies and a little girl handcuffed on the couch.
The event was very traumatic for Charlee and resulted in many psychological problems that lasted even into her teenage years. For example, soon after the incident, she began wearing bunny ears every single day—all attempts to make her stop resulted in great distress for her. She also began wearing a symbol known as the corruptagram on a necklace. And when she entered into puberty, she was unable to shave her pubic hair, because, “Daddy hated it.” And she began to refer to her last name as “Frown.”
And every year, a few days before every Easter, she would send Easter cards to herself through the mail. On each card, she would always write the same thing:
Unhappy Easter, Charlee Frown.
Three Months Before Easter
Charlee, a seventeen-year-and-364-day-old hot blond girl, was getting ready for school. She had already put on her jeans, tube top shirt, and sneakers. She was also wearing her white bunny ears and her four-inch-in-diameter corruptagram pendant (with the horns and heart in red to represent her bloody backstory), just like every day. The corruptagram symbol, which is a broken heart inside a circle with two horns on top, is actually banned in most schools and was banned in Charlee’s as well—however, an exception was allowed in her case due to her psychological problems.
She walked to the couch in the living room, then set her backpack and jacket on it. She was about to go to the fridge for a grape soda when a sparkle of white light appeared in the air between her and the kitchen. At first, she thought it was some kind of glowing bug and was intrigued, but then it started growing until it was a little bit bigger than her. Before she could scream, she was sucked into the light.
Then she suddenly found herself in an entirely different place—she closed her mouth without screaming. She stumbled a little on the grass before finding her footing again.
Standing in front of her was an extremely thin, blond girl who looked to be around sixteen-years-old, in a long black dress with a tiara on her head, wearing heavy eyeliner. The black-clad girl said, “Welcome to Easter Land”—she said it in a bored-sounding voice, without smiling.
Then Charlee shrieked, because behind the blond girl stood what looked like someone in a white bunny outfit, next to a large, four-foot-tall toad, next to a human-sized, red plasticy egg with arms, legs, eyes and a mouth—the egg looked male. Behind those three strange creatures stretched miles of green grass-covered hills and plains. A catapult rested on the grass to her left, and a trampoline was a short distance behind it. Behind her was a gray wall that looked like a castle wall. She refocused on the blond girl, then finally noticed the large Easter basket sitting on the ground next to the girl, which, compared to the other things, didn’t seem that unusual.
“Where am I?” Charlee shouted, as she looked around.
The black-clad girl rolled her eyelined eyes then repeated, “Easter Land. Outside of the creatively-named Easter Castle.”
Charlee shouted, “Why do you keep saying ‘Easter’? I hate Easter!”
“Now calm down,” said the black-clad girl. “I’ve used a summoning spell to bring you from the world you know to our world, where everything is about Easter.”
Charlee panicked. It took several minutes for the black-clad girl to calm Charlee down and convince her that she wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating. Charlee almost ran away, but she had no idea where she would run to, and she thought that running might be perceived as rude, so she decided to calm down.
Then Charlee said, “I really hate Easter. It’s my least favorite holiday. Would it be possible for me to go back home? Could you cast another spell?”
The black-clad girl said, “I’m sorry that you don’t like Easter, but it’s really not possible for you to go home right now. See, you’re one of the Chosen Ones and the fate of Easter rests in your hands. But before we go any further, I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Princess Megan.”
“I’m Charlee.”
“Nice to meet you, Charlee. I was gonna call you ‘bunny-girl’ but I think Charlee will be easy to remember.” Princess Megan gestured with her head. “That’s the Easter Bunny, that’s the Easter Toad, and that’s Gumpty Dumpty.” Each of the three strange creatures said hello to Charlee and she awkwardly said hello back.
Charlee opened her mouth to begin asking questions, but Princess Megan cut her off by saying, “Now before I explain further, I’d like to summon the two other half-breeds, then I can explain everything to you all at once.”
Then Princess Megan raised her arms and recited these words:
Oh, by the power of fertility,
Bring the next one of the three.
Half human and half of Easter’s own,
Potential inheritor of the throne!
Charlee took a step backward as a small sparkle of white light appeared between her and Princess Megan. The sparkle of light quickly expanded, then a teenage African American boy in a wheel chair rolled out from it. He was wearing jeans and a navy blue jacket. As soon as he came out of the circle of light, he cringed and looked around frantically.
“Where am I?” the boy shouted in terror.
Princess Megan sounded bored as she told him, “Easter Land.”
It took a few minutes for the boy to accept the reality of his situation, just like with Charlee. The boy said his name was Deon, but the Princess said, “I’ll call you toad-boy from now on, because it’s easier to remember.”
Again, Princess Megan declined to explain things further until she had summoned up the third and final Chosen One.
She recited the spell. Once again, a sparkle of white light appeared then enlarged, then out stumbled a teenage Latina who seemed to be made out of reddish semi-clear plastic—even her hair was plastic. She was wearing regular clothes, though—a skirt and zipped-up leather jacket.
It took a few minutes for the Princess to convince the girl that she was in Easter Land. The girl’s name was Silvia, but the Princess said she preferred to call her gummi-girl.
Charlee was wondering why Silvia aka the gummi-girl was so freakish. She also couldn’t help but notice that Silvia had huge boobs, though they were sort of hidden by her jacket. Charlee was trying to be polite and not stare, then she noticed that Deon and Silvia were trying not to stare at her bunny ears. Charlee was used to it though, so she ignored them.
Princess Megan finally started explaining what was going on. “Well,” she said, as she looked at the three newly-summoned teens, “I bet you’re all wondering why I brought you here today.”
“Yes,” said Charlee angrily. “And when are you letting us go back?”
“Please,” said Princess Megan, “hear me out. Where you are right now, is Easter Land, a magical realm outside of what you call ‘reality.’ It’s where all things Easter comes from.”
“I hate Easter,” Charlee muttered.
Princess Megan said, “Well, yes, if I may continue, uninterrupted, please. Now, you all are familiar with the Easter Bunny.” She pointed over her shoulder, and the Easter Bunny grinned and nodded at them all. She continued, “You all know the Easter Bunny, but you probably don’t know about the Easter Toad and Gumpty Dumpty, the gummi egg.” As she gestured with her hands, the toad nodded its head and the gummi egg waved behind her. She continued, “You see, one thousand years ago, there was supposed to be a competition between the toad, the gummi egg and the bunny, to see who would be the deliverer of the eggs from Easter Land.”
“Wait!” said Charlee. “Is Gumpty Dumpty made out of gummi? Like the plasticy candy stuff they make little bears out of?”
“Why yes!” said the smiling red egg. “I’m made out of gummi! And so is Silvia!”
Silvia shrieked while staring at her red, plasticy fingers. “How did this happen?”
Princess Megan gave Silvia a stern look, then said, “Please calm down. We’ll get to all of that stuff later. I have a lot of information to give you, so please just be patient and listen.”
Charlee opened her mouth, about to say something, but the Princess shot her a stern look, so Charlee’s jaw closed again. The guy in the wheelchair was sitting with a bewildered expression on his face.
“Okay, where was I?” Princess Megan said. “Oh yes, back in the days of yore, there was supposed to be a contest to see who would be the egg deliverer. However, before the contest, the toad and gummi egg each took a nap for a thousand years, and so the contest has been postponed until now, and the Easter Bunny has been temporarily filling in. They say they didn’t mean to fall asleep, but, whatever.”
The gummi egg shouted, “But I really didn’t mean to fall asleep!” then the toad shouted, “Me neither!” in a toady, female voice.
The Princess rolled her eyes, then continued. “But eighteen years ago, they finally woke up, and this is where you three come in, Charlee, toad-boy, and gummi-girl. The three offspring of the Easter creatures and humans shall compete in a contest and the winner’s parent will become the official egg deliverer. For example, if toad-boy wins, then the Easter Toad will deliver the eggs from now on. You three are the offspring and, because today you are all 17 and 364 days old, you have been brought here today to compete. You are…~*THE CHOSEN ONES*~”
Charlee angrily proclaimed, “What the hell!” Deon had covered his face with his hand, and Silvia was looking at everyone with a panicky expression on her gummi face.
Charlee asked angrily, “Are you trying to say we are each half rabbit, toad, and egg?”
The Princess nodded. “Yes. You each represent a bridge of sorts between the magical Easter realm and the world you know. And that’s why when you crossed into Easter Land, your physical forms changed to show your…mixed heritage.” She swept her arm toward Silvia before anyone could respond, then said, “Gummi-girl is the most obvious example. In your world, she probably looked normal, but here, we can see that she is now completely made of gummi.”
Silvia looked around frantically, then whimpered. “Not true. My mom wouldn’t be intimate with an egg.”
Princess Megan replied, “Oh, it’s very true,” and she said it in a way that almost seemed vicious. To Charlee, she said, “Hush and listen,” because Charlee was about to start demanding answers. The Princess continued, “Each of your mothers had a sexual fetish which they probably kept a secret from you. That is why they were chosen to mate with, on that special Easter Eve eighteen years ago.” Princess Megan pointed at Deon in his wheelchair. She looked at him and crinkled her eyes. “Now, you are the product of the toad and your mother. It may seem strange to you, because they are both female, but magic can do strange things sometimes.”
Deon shook his head with a look of denial on his face, then said, “No, my mother told me my father was a one night stand at a college party.”
Princess Megan smirked. “Your mother lied. It’s understandable. By the way, you can stand up now. You’re in the magical realm now…”
Deon shot back angrily, “What are you talking about? I’ve been crippled all my life!”
“Yes,” said the Princess. “That’s because you probably inherited toad legs, though they would have looked like human legs in your world. Magic works in weird ways, and in your world, I guess it resulted in disability, but here in Easter Land, you should be okay. So, try to stand up.”
The expression on Deon’s face indicated that he thought he might be the victim of some sort of practical joke. But he rose up from his chair…and he stood. He was wearing jeans which covered his legs, but it was obvious that his legs didn’t bend the way you’d expect a human’s to bend. They bended like a toad’s legs would, if you lifted it up and pretended it was walking upright, which is a cruel thing to do. I mean, leave the toad alone.
“Wow,” Deon said. “This is so weird. I was so used to my wheelchair.”
“Yes,” said the Princess in a snide voice. “Now you’ll have to stand like the rest of us and you can’t just sit around all the time. You can probably hop pretty far too, but please don’t do that now. Save it for later.” She turned her head to look at Charlee.
Charlee said, “What?”
Princess Megan twerked her mouth. “You took up the habit of wearing bunny ears…”
“That’s right,” Charlee shot back. “Because I practice the freedom everyone claims to believe in.”
“But here in Easter Land, your bunny ears have become real. In your own world, you were subconsciously mimicking your true nature. A part of you knew the truth…”
Charlee swallowed. She didn’t know whether to believe the Princess or not, but there was one way to find out. With her hands trembling, she lifted them to feel her bunny ears.
They were warm and furry to her touch. Then, she realized that she could make them move at will. Her heartbeat quickened. She felt around her head and couldn’t feel any human ears.
“What the hell!” she shouted.
The Princess laughed. “You have bunny ears! It’s the real thing! Get used to it.”
Charlee took a few moments to process what the Princess said. Then her mind flashed back to that horrible Easter morning when she was seven-years-old. She remembered the DVD her father had held that had been signed, “Unhappy Easter.”
Charlee glared at the Easter Bunny, then shouted, “You were the reason my father murdered my mother!”
The Easter Bunny looked shocked and raised his hands defensively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Everyone else looked shocked too.
Charlee shouted, “You impregnated my mother and recorded it, then you gave a DVD to my father! That’s why he was so angry! He shot my mother and himself because of it!” Charlee was trembling with rage. Before today, she’d assumed that the DVD had been from one of her mother’s lovers.
The Easter Bunny said, “I’m very sorry about your parents, but I would never do anything like that. I didn’t record my time with your mother. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Charlee started to feel a twinge of doubt, because the Easter Bunny seemed so sincere. “But there was a DVD.”
The Easter Bunny asked, “What was on it?”
“Well…I’m not sure. I didn’t get to watch it. It was destroyed.”
“Well, I assure you, I never made a DVD and I never recorded the time with your mother. And I want to assure you it was completely voluntary on her part. She told me she was single, too. If she hadn’t told me that, I never would have gone through with it.”
Charlee felt horribly confused. The past few minutes had been so strange, she didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“Well,” said the Princess, “I hate to interrupt, but we really don’t have a whole lot of time. We’re gonna try to get all of this done in one day, because tomorrow you’ll be legally adults and will be able to rule Easter Land.” Then she smiled big and chipperly said, “Okay?”
Charlee shouted, “What? I don’t want to do this! I want to go back home! I hate Easter!”
Princess Megan said, “Wait! I need to tell you more things. Now listen up. The winner of the contest will become the Queen or King of Easter Land and will have great power—I’m talking about things like magic, political power, immortality, the power to make Easter decisions… By the way, before you ask, I’m not a princess of Easter Land—I’m a princess of another land.”
Charlee shouted, “What if we don’t want to be Queen?”
Silvia shouted out, “Yeah!”
The Princess said, “Well, according to the contest rules and regulations, if you win, you can sign everything over to the creature you’re representing. If you did do that, you could return to your normal life, stripped of all your powers and rights and you’d go back to being a boring common person. If you’d want that.”
Charlee asked, “What if we choose not to even play in the contest?”
“Well,” said the Princess. “You’d forfeit. You could go back home. The choice is up to you. But you’d be blowing the opportunity for great power, and,” she looked at Charlee, “if you quit, Easter wouldn’t be about the Easter Bunny anymore.”
Charlee was feeling quite torn. On one hand, she really hated Easter and almost wanted it to be destroyed. But on the other hand, if she quit now, Easter wouldn’t be destroyed—it would just be switched to a new mascot of a toad or a large gummi egg and she didn’t know if she could live with herself for allowing some freak to take over Easter.
But, as the Princess had said, if Charlee won, she could sign away all her obligations and wipe her hands of the whole mess. That really seemed the best solution.
Princess Megan said, “Now, there are a series of challenges that have been set up. It’s all based on a point system. Now, if we can start the first trial, let’s do it. I’m the referee and judge, by the way. Is everyone ready?”
SinEaster Awaits
A few minutes earlier, in another part of that magical land, a hideous man sat on a throne formed from black licorice, inside a room made of black licorice. A four-foot-high scorpion stood facing him.
The man stared down at the floor. His flesh looked as if he had survived a horrible full-body burn. His eyes were uneven, and there were several bald patches on his head.
He lifted his head, then his eyes shifted from side to side. He said, “They have arrived. I just sensed them. There are three, just like the prophesy of the Corruptanomicon says.” The man smiled softly. “I suddenly feel less miserable. Do you remember how happy I was when the prophesy washed ashore?”
The scorpion responded, “I remember, Your Majesty. That was the night you started to hope.”
The man nodded. “That was so many centuries ago, and my happiness faded, but now it’s all coming true. Destiny has been set into motion, and soon, my future Queen will come to me, to alleviate my loneliness.”
The scorpion bowed, then said, “It is a most glorious night, Your Majesty.”
The Classic Easter Song Competition
Silvia held up one gummi finger in the “hold on” gesture, then said “First, let me just take off my jacket. It’s sort of warm out here.”
She unzipped her jacket and slipped it off. Underneath her T-shirt, her boobs were huge.
Many eyes opened wide.
Charlee thought that Silvia’s boobs were probably fake, because they looked unnaturally buoyant.
Deon took his jacket off, too. He was wearing a form-fitting black T-shirt and his pecs and arms were extremely muscular. Charlee found herself wondering if he had scrawny legs.
Princess Megan clapped, then said, “Okay! Let’s get started then. Now, the ability to compose songs is highly valued in Easter Land, and any future ruler must hone that skill. So, the first contest is a song-writing contest. You each will be given thirty minutes to write a classic Easter song based on whichever creature you represent. There are a couple of requirements. First, the song has to mention the creatures you represent. So, Charlee must mention the Easter Bunny, and exceptra.”
Silvia said, “Etcetera.”
“Huh?” said the Princess.
“You meant ‘etcetera’ not ‘exceptra.’ There is no ‘exceptra.’”
The Princess narrowed her eyes. “Oh, I think that there is, and since I’m the Princess, I’m right.”
Silvia didn’t respond, and tightened her mouth.
The Princess continued. “Second, each song must make mention of the coming of Spring. Finally, each song must mention Easter eggs. Other than that, it’s up to you. You will also have to sing your song, and your performance also counts. The winner will get two points. Second place gets one point. Are there any questions?”
“Yes,” said Charlee. “What are you judging the song on? Catchiness? Sappiness? The ability of the lyrics to be easily memorized by children?”
The Princess replied, “I’m judging based on which one I think should win. It could be any reason. Any other stupid questions?”
Deon raised his hand.
The Princess said, “Lower your hand. This isn’t a classroom. Besides, I’m done with questions. Let’s begin the contest.” She kneeled and rummaged in the Easter basket on the ground.
She handed a notepad and pen to Charlee, Deon, and Silvia, then told them, “You have thirty minutes.”
Silvia’s Song
Princess Megan announced, “Time’s up! Who wants to go first?”
Silvia, the gummi-girl, answered, “I will. I just want to get this over with.”
Everyone moved to get a good view of her, then she started dancing. She did a lot of hopping and jiggling as music mysteriously played. Her voice was off-key and her dancing lacked enthusiasm as she sang these words:
Bouncing up and down,
Bouncing all around.
Watch the bouncing gummi egg’s display.
Yummy, gummi and round,
Bouncing all around,
Hiding Easter eggs for you today.
Hidden all around,
Soon they will be found,
Putting all the eggs on full display!
And heeere comes the springtime,
To bring us lovely weather.
And theeere goes the coldtime,
So just take off your sweater!
And find all the eggs,
And grab them up quick!
Oh, grab them up, grab them up, grab them up quick!
Ohhhh…
Bouncing up and down,
Bouncing all around!
Watch the bouncing gummi egg’s display!
Hidden all around,
But now they have been found,
Putting all the eggs on full display.
The music ended and everyone except Charlee and the toad clapped.
Silvia hooted and hopped around while raising her hands in the air, then she stood, fidgeting nervously.
Charlee rolled her eyes, then said, “Was that an Easter song, or a strip club song?”
Silvia scowled at Charlee, then turned her head toward the Princess and asked, “So what did you think?”
“Well,” said the Princess. “It fulfilled all the requirements. It made good use of bouncing, which is a key component of gummi.”
Gumpty Dumpty chimed in, “I agree. It would make a wonderful classic Easter song! I can just picture all the boys and girls singing it.”
Silvia grinned.
The Princess shouted out, “Who’s next?”
Deon and Charlee looked at each other, then shrugged, so the Princess told Deon to go next.
Deon’s Song
The music began to play and Deon began to sing. He didn’t dance, but stood still, while staring down at his notepad.
He sang:
Springtime comes—are you wishing?
Tadpoles sprout—are they swishing?
A wonderful day, the Toad hops today.
Hopping on an Easter lily pad.
Oh, I’m dreaming of a green toad Easter,
With every boiled egg I see.
With tadpoles wriggling,
And children giggling,
And Toad hopping round so gleefully.
Now tadpoles have disability,
And cannot walk so adequately,
And cannot bounce so hoppily,
But then they growww.
And Winter turns to Spring’s warm breeze,
And tadpoles grow both legs and knees,
And hop around just as they please,
And then you knowww.
That Easter hops down on your face.
The toads smash down to your disgrace,
And springtime wins the seasons’ race.
And now behooold…
It’s Easter time, with knees so grand!
It’s Easter time, all you can stand!
It’s Easter!
Deon stopped singing and shyly stared down at his notepad.
Everyone clapped, except for the toad, who was unable to, and Charlee, who sarcastically said, “An Easter song about disability? How politically correct.”
Deon didn’t lift his head.
Silvia just stood with her arms folded and a neutral expression on her face.
The toad said, “I liked your use of the tadpole motif. It’s symbolic.”
Deon raised his head, then meekly replied, “Yes, it’s like me. Before, I couldn’t walk, but now I can.”
Charlee snarled. “But tadpoles can swim. What makes you think they want to walk? Do all fishes want to walk too?”
Silvia said, “Fish.”
Charlee turned to face her. “What?”
Silvia said, “The plural of ‘fish’ is ‘fish.’”
Charlee replied, “Well that’s just stupid. They’re the same word.” She turned her head. “What do you think, Princess?”
“I agree,” the Princess said. “If ‘fish’ is the same word used, then the singular and plural of them are the same, which they most definitely are not, in most cases.”
Charlee smirked at Silvia. “See, I was right.”
“Whatever,” said Silvia.
The Princess looked at Deon, then said, “Thank you for your performance.” She turned to Charlee. “You’re next.”
Charlee’s Song
Charlee’s ears curled slightly, tremblingly, from stage fright.
But as the music began to play, she began to relax, as she swayed seductively and sang these words:
Here comes Easter Bunny day,
No matter how much you may pray.
Bangety Bang Bang,
Mommy now must pay!
Springtime melts the snow, so white.
Mom and Dad, they have a fight.
Now the season turns to red and gray.
“Winter should come back to me,
Bringing its pre-shotgun glee.”
That’s what you will start to sadly say.
You’ll wake up on Easter morning,
And you’ll dread that he was there,
When you find those cruel reminders
Of murder and despair.
Ohh! Running in fear and starting to beg,
Jumpin’ when you see an egg!
Bangety Bang Bang,
Mommy had to pay!
Charlee stopped singing and stood, while readjusting her clothing.
The Easter Bunny looked like he was about to throw a fit, as he said, “What the hell was that?”
Silvia smirked, then said, “Was that an Easter song or a Halloween song? I mean, wow.”
Charlee shrugged then said, “Hey, well that’s what Easter means to me. At least it’s not sappy…or bouncy…or tadpoley. Or suck-upy.”
“Yeah,” said Silvia. “It’s just sucky.”
Charlee replied, “Oh, go take off your sweater. Oh wait, don’t. Nobody wants to see those fake, plastic things.”
Silvia huffed, then said to the Princess, “Are you going to judge now?”
The Princess pressed her hand to the side of her face and appeared to contemplate for a few moments.
She closed her eyes while everyone watched her.
She opened her eyes, then said, “I have decided the winner…”
Winner Declared
“And the winner,” said Princess Megan, “is toad-boy.”
Deon smiled shyly while everyone looked at him. He softly said, “Thank you.”
“Yes,” continued the Princess. “I thought it was very inspiring. It would be a good message for the children.”
Charlee huffed. “Tadpoles are gross.”
“Oh, please,” the Princess shot back. “Is it any grosser than your ‘red and gray’ stuff?” She looked at Deon. “Now you could have danced or maybe looked up every once in a while, but I thought the song was great. It really inspired me.”
“To do what?” Charlee said. “To hop? To praise your knees?”
“Maybe,” snarled the Princess. “But anyway, Deon wins first place. He now has two points. And the second place winner, is Charlee.”
Charlee hooted, then made a face at Silvia.
Silvia said, “How could that horror movie beat my song?”
“Well,” said the Princess, “I’ll tell you why.” She looked at Charlee. “Because you’ve got guts.”
“Oh,” Silvia said, “Isn’t that song just all about guts?”
Charlee made a face at her, then snarled, “No, it was about brains.” She gave a vicious smile.
The Princess turned to face Silvia, then said, “Charlee had the courage to write a song that was personal and that took risks. She could have written something that was bouncy and happy, or inspirational, but she chose to do the opposite. She made a song that makes you stop and think, and that’s why she now has one point. And the third place winner, is you, gummi-girl.”
Silvia clapped enthusiastically in a purposefully inappropriate way.
The Princess said, “I thought it was a very happy, catchy song.”
“Yeah,” said Charlee, in an irritated voice, “just like all the other happy, catchy songs!”
The Princess snapped back, “Yeah, I didn’t mean it as a good thing. I meant that’s the reason why the song’s such crap. I mean, toad-boy’s song was happy, but at least he tackled some pretty deep issues.”
Silvia folded her arms and scowled.
The Easter Bunny’s Riddle
“And now,” said Princess Megan, “let’s keep this thing moving and go on to the next challenge. The Easter Bunny has prepared a riddle. Now, before he recites it, I would advise you all not to shout out the answer, because everyone who gets the right answer will get two points. And incorrect answers subtract two points. You can write the answer down, when the time comes, but you’ll have plenty of time to think about it, because I’m gonna wait until after your quests before I start taking your answers. Now, Easter Bunny, are you ready?”
He replied, “Yep, I sure am.” He walked, then stood beside the Princess in front of Charlee, Deon, and Silvia.
The Easter Bunny looked like a six-foot-tall man inside a bunny costume, except he wasn’t. And his face moved around like the real, living creature he was, rather than staying frozen in a grin. In fact, the Easter Bunny wasn’t smiling at all. He almost seemed to be scowling.
“Here is my riddle,” he said.
Then he recited these words:
I’m a statue flattery,
Whose taste is sweet.
Becoming hollow mockery,
My light, you eat.
My sound, you eat as well.
I wish you straight to hell,
But just a frozen, Easter smile, you greet!
What am I?
“And that was my riddle,” he said.
“Thank you,” said Princess Megan.
The Princess addressed Charlee, Deon, and Silvia: “Now it’s time to move onto the next challenge. You have each been provided a quest, and if you return, you will then have the chance to answer the riddle.”
At this point, both Deon and Silvia blurted out the same words, which were: “If? What do you mean if?”
“Well,” said the Princess. “The quests are a little dangerous, but you are each perfectly suited for your particular quest, because you are the Chosen Ones, and your specific abilities will help you. In fact, you are the only ones who can complete the quests. You each must go, alone, on a hunt for an ancient relic, and you must also find out the answer to one of Easter Land’s mysteries of history. You will receive two points for each of your two goals, for a possible total of four points. And after you return, I will ask you for your answers to the Easter Bunny’s riddle. And after that, the winner will be decided. Your quests begin on various parts of Easter Land. We will wait here for your return. But first, I’d like you to read a short, informative paper I put together, just so we can all be on the same page. There are three things in the paper: a brief history of Easter Land, a copy of the prophesy poem, and a summary of the contest. The prophesy poem was originally discovered on a page torn from the Corruptanomicon, which was discovered by the Easter Bunny. The page was later lost in SinEaster River on a warship during the Great War. Pages from the Corruptanomicon tend to disappear a lot. Oh, and I’m the one who wrote the history of Easter Land. I tried to keep it simple for you. And the contest summary can help you keep score. Anyway…”
Princess Megan collected the notepads, then reached into her Easter basket, then handed out some sheets of paper to the three Chosen Ones. They took a few minutes to read them.
The History of Easter Land & the Prophesy Poem
966—The beginning. In ancient times, there were no holidays, but then it was decided to create them. One of those holidays was assigned to the Holiday Continent’s east side. The area and holiday was called Easter as a working title, but the name stuck.
Easter was originally meant to be the opposite of Halloween, because candy would be brought to children’s houses rather than the children going to the houses of others. The Easter project was approved and went forward.
The area that was to become Easter Land was already ruled by humans. However, the humans of Easter Land were different from other humans due to an ancient curse. Centuries before, one of their kings had come to be considered a coward. Since he was considered a “chicken,” in order to mock him and his subjects, all the female humans in his kingdom were made to lay colorful eggs to reproduce. Also, as a further form of ridicule, the monarchy was assigned a royal guard of anthropomorphic eggs. However, in the beginning, the holiday of Easter had to do with delivering candy, and not eggs.
After approval, the new holiday entered a stage of development and preparation, but there were still many years ahead, before it could begin to be celebrated.
Many creatures tried out for the role of candy deliverer. Three finalists were chosen to compete: the Easter Bunny, the Easter Toad, and Humpty Dumpty.
*note—The Easter Bunny was originally four-legged. And Humpty Dumpty (not Gumpty Dumpty) was the original anthropomorphic egg contestant.
973—Due to a revolutionary uprising in Easter Land, the contest was delayed. The Great War began, between those who wanted a democracy and those defending the monarchy.
975—First appearance of the SinEaster Area, which is an evil part of Easter Land. It started out small, but grew larger each year, until, six years later, a small magic wall had to be conjured to contain it. The Grene Myhnt Wall was designed to grow taller and stronger as SinEaster did. However, the wall was unable to block the river that leads into SinEaster. Several dams were attempted to be built, but they all met with mysterious accidents, and to this day, nothing blocks the path of the river into SinEaster. No one knows what horrible, horrible evil lurks behind the wall.
981—The Easter Bunny used corruptamagic to become bipedal. The use of corruptamagic is illegal, and the Easter Bunny was severely punished with public flogging. Ha ha.
982—Disappearance of Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty basically disappeared one day. Gumpty Dumpty was allowed to take his place according to the contest rules, because he was the son of Humpty Dumpty and a gummi worm. To this day, no one knows what happened to Humpty Dumpty. This is one of the great mysteries of Easter Land history.
982—Boiling of the Witch. The Prince of Easter Land, who was married to Princess Cinnamon, had been having an affair with a witch. After the Prince broke up with the witch, she used corruptamagic to turn the Prince into a toad. He had been alone in the Dark Forest at the time, so he was unable to be located. As punishment, the witch was boiled alive. It was later discovered that she had been pregnant at the time with the Prince’s child. The boiled egg was cut from the witch’s body and given to Princess Cinnamon.
The Princess’s Flight—There was a prophesy that Princess Cinnamon had a gift to “bestow a single, magical, transformative kiss upon a man who in his life would be King.” She loved her husband, despite the affair. She wanted to search for the Prince in the Dark Forest, to kiss him, to transform him back. She thought she was destined to find him. It was judged to be too dangerous, because of all the hostile revolutionaries that were around. So, she chose three loyal servants and snuck out of the castle, carrying the boiled egg. At one point, she was interrogated by enemy soldiers, who were searching groups of peasants, looking for anyone carrying a boiled egg, because they had learned of the Princess’s journey. She had to quickly hide the egg, then later go back and find it again. She was separated from two of her servants at that time. A day later, she was separated from the last servant during another close call with soldiers. A message was received at the castle, stating that she intended to continue to the Dark Forest. She never returned from her journey. What happened to her is one of the great mysteries of history. Another mystery is, what happened to the boiled egg she carried? His name was to be Antiboli, and as the only heir of his father, he is often referred to as the once future King of Easter Land.
People searched for Princess Cinnamon and Antiboli. But they couldn’t find them. In the Princess’s honor, it was decided that the Easter custom would be to hide boiled eggs, painted different colors, so they’d look human. Chicken eggs are substituted for human eggs.
986—All the royalty were killed. Easter Land fell into chaos, ravaged by battle between those who wanted democracy and those who wanted monarchy.
990—The Easter Toad and Gumpty Dumpty went into a long nap, right before they were supposed to mate with humans to produce the Chosen Ones. The Easter Bunny was assigned to temporarily fill in as egg deliverer, until the contest could be resumed, and despite the turmoil, the Easter Holiday was begun.
1046—The last humans in Easter Land were killed in the Great War.
1990—The Easter Toad and Gumpty Dumpty finally woke their lazy selves up. They and the Easter Bunny mated with humans in the non-magical realm, to create the Chosen Ones, who will be able to rule when they turn 18.
The Present—I, Princess Megan, have been called in to oversee this contest. Don’t mess with me.
The Future—Easter Land has not had any rulers or even any humans living in it for over 900 years, but it is time for Easter Land to be repopulated with humans! The Chosen Ones will help it happen, unless they don’t.
The Prophesy Poem
The three compete to see who hides the eggs,
At seventeen, three-hundred-sixty-four.
One blond, one red, one with fantastic legs;
Each has a special gift, for what’s in store.
They each will try to find a candy hid:
The icing eyes, sdiu, and jelly bean.
And for three questions history begs to ask,
They’ll seek three answers—one answer per kid.
Then the snake will bust the wall before eighteen,
Allowing entrance to complete their task.
Out of the four, the future Queen will come,
From four jailbaits, who of their sorrows, sing.
She’ll come, before they add the final sum,
To cure the loneliness that plagues the King.
So strong SinEaster grows from hatred’s cost,
It can destroy Easter, the eighteenth day.
The three should give the Princess candy sin.
Contest Summary
Song Competition
1st Place 2 points
2nd Place 1 point
3rd Place 0 points
Quests
Finding Object(s) 2 points
Finding an Answer 2 points
No points subtracted for not achieving objectives.
The Easter Bunny’s Riddle
Correct Answer 2 points
No Answer 0 points
Incorrect Answer 2 points subtracted
The person(s) with the highest total score will be declared the winner(s).
Silvia was the first to say, “Hey! How come the last three lines of the prophesy poem don’t rhyme?”
Deciding to play around with the gummi-girl, Charlee said, “Of course it rhymes! What are you, dyslexic?”
Silvia huffed, then replied, “Do I look dyslexic? Yes, I’m pleasantly plump, if that’s what you’re trying to incinerate with your sarcasm.”
Charlee suddenly found that she was the one who’d ended up confused. “Er, I meant, the lines don’t rhyme, you’re right. I was just messing with you.”
Silvia nodded. “Thank you. And there’s nothing wrong with a girl having a few curves.”
Deon said, “I can agree with that. You’re very attractive.” He seemed to be taking long glances at Silvia’s chest.
Silvia giggled. “Well, thank you!” Then she and Deon stared at each other for a little too long.
Charlee rolled her eyes, then said to Princess Megan, “So how come the last lines don’t rhyme?”
The Princess replied, “Well, the Easter Bunny was the one who found the poem, written on a page torn from an ancient book called the Corruptanomicon. He says the bottom part of the page was torn away.”
They all turned to look at the Easter Bunny, who shrugged, then said, “I found the page in a coconut shell on the ground. It was already torn. We’ll probably never know the last part of the poem.”
Charlee said, “And there are no other copies of this Corruptanomicon?”
Princess Megan said, “Nope. There was only one copy, and it has been lost. Every once in a while, pages torn from the Corruptanomicon are discovered, but it would freak you out how those pages seem to get lost, then mysteriously travel and get found again. I’d be afraid if I ever found one of those pages, myself. They’re tainted with dark magic.”
Silvia said, “Hey—”
The Princess clapped interruptingly, then said, “Yes, so we don’t know the last part of the prophesy poem! It’s a mystery and we may never know! Okay, let’s get this show on the road! We will wait in the castle for you to return.”
During the next few minutes, each of the three contestants was given a waterproof fanny pack, inside of which there was a foam-lined plastic egg for the transportation of small, delicate objects. They each folded their informative sheets of paper, then slipped them and their pens inside their fanny packs. Two personal escorts were called from inside the castle gates to transport two of the Chosen Ones to the destinations where their quests were to take place.
fanny pack a small zippered pouch held by a strap around the waist. It’s not a purse!
Charlee’s Adventure Begins
Charlee’s escort was an ostrich who pulled her along in a chariot. There was a mountain range in the distance that the ostrich ran toward. It took them about forty-five minutes to get there.
They slowed as they approached the base of one of the mountains. Charlee could see a narrow pass that was maybe fifteen feet wide. About sixty feet inside the pass, two knights in dull armor were holding axes-on-sticks, standing in front of a solid iron gate. Their helmets each had pink, furry bunny ears sticking out the top. A pink bunny stood at the feet of each knight.
The ostrich stopped when they were next to the pass, out of sight of the bunnies and knights, then asked Charlee to get out of the chariot.
After Charlee stepped onto the ground, she gazed up at the steep walls of the mountain. “Very pretty,” she said.
The ostrich, who was female, turned to face Charlee, then said, “Yes, the Bunny Mountains are very beautiful, but they are also a barrier that keeps all outsiders out. The mountains form a circle all the way around the Valley of the Pink Bunnies. There is only one way in or out, and the bunnies will only allow other bunnies to come or go.”
Charlee bit her lip worriedly. “You mean you’re not coming with me?”
“No, I’m not. I’m only supposed to take you here and give you all the information you need to fulfill your quest. Then I will wait here if—for you to return.”
“Don’t you mean if I return?”
The ostrich shook her head. “I’m sure you will return. After all, you are one of the ~*ChoSeN oneS*~ and this is a matter of destiny.”
Charlee scowled. “I don’t mean to offend you, but I think you might be sticking your head in the sand. I’m not your great epic hero who’s come to your land to save Easter. As a matter of fact, I hate Easter! I’ve had bad experiences with it. I’m not even sure if I want Easter to continue, to be honest. I’m not so sure about how great the Easter Bunny is, either… If the toad or egg want to take over, why should I care?”
The ostrich said, “Listen, I know the Easter Bunny very well, and he’s a really great guy, and he really should be running Easter, so you just have to win.”
“But I hate Easter! I don’t want anything to do with it!”
The ostrich thought for a moment, then she said, “Well, you could always sign over your responsibilities…if you win.”
“Yeah, tell me more about that.”
“There is a clause in the contest rules. If you win, you can sign a document to give up all the responsibilities. They would all go to the Easter Bunny. You could go home and not have to worry about anything. No strings attached.”
Charlee’s ears perked up. “Maybe I should do that.”
The ostrich nodded. “The Easter Bunny told me he thinks you should really do that too, so you could go on with your regular life and not have to worry about Easter ever again. It would go on the same as always. No one would know the difference.”
Charlee was mulling it over. “Yeah…”
“And all the children wouldn’t have to be disappointed. Lots of people love Easter, even though you may hate it.”
Charlee felt ashamed and lowered her head. “Yeah, I used to love Easter too. It wouldn’t be the same with a toad or gummi egg, I guess.”
“Yes, the Easter Bunny has to keep delivering the eggs.”
Charlee suddenly thought of something. “Okay, I have a question. I remember Princess Megan saying that the Chosen One who wins will get certain abilities. If they sign the paper, what happens to those?”