What Could Have Been
Published by Melanie Delfin at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 by Melanie Delfin
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
Acknowledgements
Cover design by: The Pregnancy Centers of Central Virginia
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters places brands, media and incidences are either product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously
Foreword
This story essay is tribute to those unborn souls who didn’t had the chance to live and see the beauty of the world we’re living
Dedication
God
For this talent in writing. I will never enjoy writing and sharing this gift with others if not because you gave it to me.
My best friend, my companion, my soul mate, my other half, my everything
“Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…” After a week of preparation, everything seems perfect in their places. Colorful balloons tied at every chair, cartoon character banners and decorations stuck against the wall, yummy foods at the buffet table, keepsakes and loot bags, and of course, my cake, which I will be sharing to my visitors after blowing my number seven candle. My dad also hired clowns to do magic for us. Since this is my 7th birthday, I make sure that all of my friends and classmates will come to my party. Well, this is how I always think my life could have been, if only I had given the chance to be born and live.
I am Chelsea, and this is my real story. My mom had aborted me when I was only 20 weeks old, so tiny, and so helpless. Until now, I am still wondering if I am going to hate her for what she had done, or just forgive her and understand the situation that once she had.
This is what I exactly heard when my mom and who supposed to be my father had a confrontation seven years ago when I am still inside her, enjoying the warmth of her womb waiting for my time to see the world
“What?! Are you losing your mind Laura? You cannot do this to my child.”Ivan said the one who supposed to be my father. “We both know that this is not your child, Ivan! I was drunk at the party and I don’t know who I had sex with. I don’t know who really the father is of this stupid creature.” “But I love you, Laura. I am willing to claim that child as mine.” “Don’t be that silly, Ivan. I’m not yet finished with my studies and I won’t let this baby ruin my future and my life. Besides, I don’t want my family to condemn me when they knew all about this.”
And with that, she carried out her evil plans. I heard another woman telling her to take a certain pill. After a few hours, the womb began squeezing me. My tiny, fragile body tries to endure the excruciating pain it inflict. But still, I hold on tight. I hold on tight to the hope that she will make up her mind that she will then decide to keep me. I hold on tight to the hope that she will love me.
It seems like days had passed and I heard a familiar voice again. The voice of the woman telling my mom to lie down on a stretcher. Then slowly, I feel something cold and hard grasping my little body, pulling me away form the womb that giving me warmth and life. The excruciating pain that I felt the past few days ago came again, only more painful this time. I want to scream and plead “mom please don’t do this, please don’t take me away from you.” I want to scream from the pain the truth is giving me, that she will never ever change her mind. That she will never love me.
Life goes on for my mother after that. She already finished college, got a real good job and a very loving husband. She indeed has a good life, but not a beautiful/handsome child. Late at night, always late at night, I can see her tears streaming down her cheeks, crying her regret out. She realized that I am the child, the ONLY child that she longs to have and to hold. If only she chose to keep me, she didn’t only give me the chance to live, but also she gave herself a chance to be a good mother. And a chance to be a better person.
What could have been if my mom kept me? If only she can see me now. I look exactly just like her, the little version of herself. I had her curly hair, dark brown eyes, long eyelashes, cream textured skin and pouty pink lips. What could have been if my mom gave me a chance to be her daughter? I will be the daughter that she always longing for. I will be the smart one who will tell her about my days at school, no matter how well or crazy it might be. The one who can take with her at the spa salon, doing make over at ourselves and she will be proud at anyone about how pretty her daughter is. The one who will kiss her when she came home from tiring and stressful work and the one who will hug her tight while sleeping.
No matter how selfish and cruel the things my mom had done, she’s still my mom, the one whom I will always belong to. I’m still longing to be with her. I want to tell her “Hey mommy! Don’t bother yourself anymore. I already forgive you and you got to move on. I will pray to God to give you another chance to be a good mother to your soon-to-be child, and a chance to make your mistakes right. I love you very much mom.”
END
About the author
I am a licensed nurse at the Phillipines. I started writing stories and poems since the age of 12. I also write some articles about health and wellness. If you would like me to make an article about a particular topic, you can reach me through my facebook account at 22yehseam@rock.com or you can send me an IM at maeshey004@rock.com. Thank you for support