Madie
Crossroads and Choices
Published by Marsha Loftis
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 Marsha Loftis
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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I wrote this book on the internet as a serial fiction blog. You may find spelling and grammar mistakes or story inconsistencies...Marsha Loftis
CHAPTER 1
My name is Madie. This is my journal.
Life is full of crossroads and forks in the road. Whichever road you choose to take will determine your fate in life. Sometimes there are obstacles or bumps in the road that requires a change of direction. Other times, the road gives you a choice. You can continue to go straight or you can choose to change directions. I think I read that somewhere or something similar to that. I made a choice to change directions. I’m thinking I should have stayed straight.
Journal 1
I was resting when our convoy came to a sudden stop. Yates told me to stay put as he jumped out of the truck. He ordered a couple of his soldiers to run to the front of the convoy and find out what was happening. I have never been good at waiting. I hate when others tell me what to do. I prefer to give the orders.
I stayed put for maybe three seconds and then I jumped out of the truck. Yates gave me the “I told you to stay put look.” and in return I gave him the “I’m just stretching my legs look.” It only took the soldiers a couple of moments to figure out what the problems were at the front of the convoy. Someone had dug a ditch across the entire width of the road. There was no way to get across and we couldn’t drive around it because both sides of the road sloped down a hillside.
Yates started giving orders. His soldiers were going to have to build a bridge to get us across. This was going to take a little while so I started to get back in the truck. I vaguely remember the dart hitting me and seeing a couple of soldiers fall. I think I remember hearing gunfire and someone yell to take cover. I don’t know where everyone went. I think fate hates me.
Journal 2
If Yates is here, I have not seen him. The guards don’t allow us to speak. They watch over us like vultures. Any deviation in the rules and punishment is swift and painful. I know because I quit digging up rocks long enough to catch a moments breath and had a rod come down across my shoulders.
Rule number three don’t stop working until a guard tells you to quit. I gave the guard a look and he smacked me again. I forgot about the keep your head down rule. I recognize a couple of soldiers from Ft Shasta also here as slaves but I don’t know their names. I never had personal contact with them at Bear Country. I think they are just as confused and disoriented as I am. I wish Yates were here. He would know what to do to get us out of this mess. I have been praying that Yates escaped the ambush.
The guards forced me to work the entire day with practically no food at all, and only two ladles of water. Every muscle in my body hurts. After digging up the rocks, we transport them to be washed. I have bruises all over my back. I have dirt so far under my fingernails that several of my fingers are sore. I stink and I have a headache. Someone pinch me so that I can wake up from this nightmare.
Journal 3
I want to go home. It has been a long awful day. This is not the new life I was promised. I keep pinching myself hoping I will wake up from this nightmare. I can’t sleep even though I am exhausted. I am finding it difficult to get comfortable in the night because everything aches and it is difficult to sleep on a cold dirt floor. The guards seem to get enjoyment in disturbing our rest period. They walk over us and deliberately kick someone. The guards kicked me in the shoulder, yelled at me and hit me with a stick because I was in the way. I looked at the guard in protest and he beat me for my rudeness. The guards made me kneel for the rest of the night.
I am so hungry. The guards eat continuously thru out the day. They walk among us and brag about how full they are. If my thoughts could kill all the guards would be dead. We are teased with food, I have seen several of the other slaves walk away with a guard and come back later with a piece of fruit or bread. They are surviving the best they can. I am not going down that road. I think I would prefer to die.
I spent the first part of the day digging up rocks. After my midday stale biscuit, the guards transferred me to work on the wall.
Journal 4
I spent the day digging up rocks and daydreaming about my life before the virus. I think it helped to take myself away from this hellhole even though it was just in my mind. I miss my parents and my bed. Please let this whole thing be a dream. Any moment my mom is going to walk into my room and tell me to wake up and get ready for school. I will suddenly realize this life was just an awful nightmare brought on by bad pizza. I am going to hug my mom and apologize for everything I have done wrong in the past.
I think I actually slept for a little while last night. I propped myself up against the wall and before I knew it the guards were rudely yelling at us to wake up. I refuse to believe this is the way, I am supposed to spend the rest of my life.
Today was a special day. All the slaves assembled in front of the gang leader. I am not certain what he looked like because the guards didn’t allow us to raise our heads. He gave a lovely speech and praised us for our hard work. If thoughts could kill, I would spread his brains all over the rock pile. The guards brought out a wheelbarrow of food. They gave each slave a few seconds to grab something edible to eat. I am so glad I wasn’t at the end of the line.
Journal 5
Like the day before and the day before I spent my day digging up rocks, washing rocks and building a wall. Yates’ soldiers did the same. We tried to communicate with each other when the guards weren’t looking. It was a challenge. If caught by the guards it would have meant a beating. I watched the guards dish out punishment without cause time after time. The guards seemed particularly cruel to a couple of slaves that could apparently do nothing right. I felt sorry them. I wanted to help but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I watched the other slaves go about their work as if nothing cruel was happening around them. No one flinched. The most common reaction was to move carefully out of the way without drawing attention from the guards. I think it’s a coping mechanism put into place after weeks and months of trying to avoid punishment. I found myself doing it.
At the end of the day, after the guards had finally decided we had done enough work they led us back to our place of sleep. They gave us the same stale biscuits and a drink of water. I tucked myself up against the wall beside a couple of Yates’ soldiers. The wall was one of the safer places to sleep. The guards harassed anyone sleeping near the fire. I don’t remember falling asleep. I woke up ready to fight the moment I felt his hand grab my mouth.
Journal 6
He had to straddle my entire body to keep me from struggling free. I continued to struggle until I saw his face. At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I closed my eyes very tight and counted to three. When I opened my eyes again he was still there hovering over me with his hand over my mouth. Without saying a word, Tony mouthed for me to be quiet. I hugged his neck and did as I was told.
Four of Yates’ soldiers accompanied Tony. Tony woke the other soldiers enslaved with me one at a time. The other captives sleeping in the area were also given the chance to escape. Only a handful chose to do so. The others were unable to comprehend what was happening. They just turned over and went back to sleep. The guards watching over us were tranquilized by the same darts used to capture us. They would be asleep well into the morning hours. I kicked them both in the side as I stepped over them. It was the least I could do for the hellish way they treated us. I am hoping this security breach gets them into a heap of trouble. With any luck, they will end up as slaves themselves.
The escape out of the camp was easy. There was only one moment when I thought we weren’t going to escape. We almost stumbled into a guard patrol but luckily, they weren’t paying much attention to their surroundings. They seemed more interested in the slave they were teasing. No one said a word until we were clearly away from the camp.
Journal 7
I couldn’t take another step. I was thirsty and weak from hunger. After a moments rest and drinking practically all of the water in Tony’s canteen, I asked about Yates and the other soldiers. Tony looked at me and shook his head from side to side. He said Yates struggled to survive for a couple of days. Many of Yates’ soldiers died from injuries they had received the day of the ambush. I refused to accept what Tony was saying. I started making plans to find Yates and the others. Tony grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a shake. He said there weren’t any others. I said there had to be others. We were in a convoy of four trucks with at least 30 people. We had guns. General Yates would not have gone down without a fight.
I pulled away from Tony. I called him a liar and said a few awful things I now regret. I knew Tony had to be lying. He was jealous I chose Yates over him and I told him so. I stomped off into the woods. I don’t know where I was going but Tony followed. I stopped at the edge of a cliff.
For a moment, I considered jumping. Tony asked me not to jump. He said he had something important to say to me. If I still wanted to jump after he had finished he would jump with me. Tony said he loved me and that he only let me go with Yates because he wanted me to have a happy and safe life. The morning the convoy left Bear Country Tony realized he had made a mistake in allowing me to leave.
Tony borrowed a horse from Joshua of the Spurs. He caught up to the convoy shortly after the attack. Yates and several of his soldiers were left for dead. I was nowhere to be found.
Journal 8
It would have been a painful way to die. It wasn’t a straight drop to the bottom. Tony and I would have hit every rock, boulder and tree stump on the way down. Then we would have lingered alive for a couple of hours before finally succumbing to blood loss. I didn’t want to die that way.
I backed off the edge of the cliff and fell into Tony’s arms. There was clapping and whistling from the soldiers. I didn’t realize they were all standing there. I apologized to Tony for everything I had said a few moments before. Tony kissed me on the head and thanked me for not jumping. Tony and the four soldiers that had survived the ambush led us around the woods for more than an hour trying to find the graves of Yates and the other soldiers they were able to bury. I wanted to say goodbye.
We had almost given up looking for the graves when one of the soldiers accidentally stumbled upon the gravesite during a moment of rest. We held a small goodbye ceremony in the woods for Yates and the other fallen soldiers. Each of the graves was marked with a cross of twigs. The nametag from the soldier’s uniform was pushed into the bark.
I found Yates and said my goodbyes. I apologized for getting him into this trouble. Tony knelt down beside me and whispered in my ear that none of this was my fault. I didn’t put General Yates into this grave. I wish I could believe that. There is a small boy at Ft Shasta who is now without a father.
Journal 9
Tony and I are taking our time returning to Bear Country. By now, Bear Country would have elected a new leader. I hope it was Sheriff Pete. All the soldiers that survived the ambush headed back towards Ft Shasta. Their walk was going to be a long one. I wished them luck in their journey and asked them to be safe. I again apologized for the trouble I caused.
Tony and I didn’t travel very far yesterday or today. We stayed in a hunter’s cabin last night. It was filthy but it was better than sleeping out in the open on the hard ground. I have had enough sleeping on the ground to last a lifetime. The cabin was near a stream. Tony accidentally scooped a fish out with his hands. He spent the next hour in the ice-cold freezing water trying to catch another one and never came close. The one fish barely gave each of us three mouths full but it was good.
Today we went exploring. I don’t think we covered more than a couple of miles. Tony and I stumbled across a gang of naturalist called the Sequoia. Relax they were friendly. Their gang leader offered us a place to stay for the night. Tony is out bathing in the creek with the men. I plan to go with the women as soon as he gets back.
Journal 10
Tony and I have decided to stay a couple of days with the Sequoias. Their leader Xu has graciously invited us to spend as much time as we wanted here provided with help out with the chores. Tony is out hunting with the boys. Xu’s wife Palesa gave him a grocery list of things to bring back for dinner. Palesa was very insistent that Xu find everything that was on the list.
I have been sitting around most of the day. I did help prepare breakfast and wash the dishes. This gang has a large number of toddlers and smaller children. I am amazed their infant survival rate is so high. A large majority of the women here look as if they are pregnant and couple of them look as if they were about to give birth any day now.
Xu’s wife Palesa already has two children and it looks as if she is going to have another. I like Palesa she has a sense of humor and a very happy disposition. I asked Palesa if it is hard raising her children out here in the wilderness. Palesa assured me that it was actually very simple. This is amazing because I have seen at least a dozen girls have babies back home since the virus and only two of them delivered babies that survived more than a week. Aleece is one of those babies. I hope Aleece and her Mom Casey are safe and happy somewhere. Aleece must be getting very big by now. I wonder if she is crawling yet.
CHAPTER 2
Journal 11
I am enjoying my stay. I think I could stay here forever. The Sequoia’s have a simple life but it is a good life. Everyone shares everything. Everyone has chores. No one fights. The small children run around play and act as if they don’t have a care in the world.
Palesa is an inspiration. She has so much energy and a good heart. I watched her mend hurt feelings when one of the smaller children couldn’t keep up in a game of keep away. All the children go to school. Palesa said that everyone learns to read. Story time is one of the highlights of the day for the younger children.
Tony is enjoying his hunting trips with the men and has been helping Xu with the mending of shelters. I think he is enjoying his time here also. I love the evenings out here. The stars are so bright.
Last night we say a meteor shower that lasted more than an hour. One of the smallest children brought the meteors to our attention. It was so cool.
The children all giggled in delight every time they saw a bright light fly across the sky. Tony and I also enjoyed the show. When sent the smaller children to bed after we were certain the show was complete. The evening hours are so peaceful.
Journal 12
It has been a fun day. The longer I am here the more I think this is the perfect place to live. I was sitting on a log near the creek thinking about life when Palesa came up behind me and wanted to know if I wanted to see a wedding ceremony. Oh course my answer was yes.
The Sequoia gang has an interesting way of finalizing wedding vows. The ceremony was actually quite beautiful. The bride and the groom were lovely and looked so happy. Like our wedding ceremonies back at Bear Country, there were lit candles, a lovely speech, songs about love and blessings. Everyone gave the happy couple a blessing of happiness even the smaller children. At the end of the ceremony, the couple stripped naked, jumped into the waterfalls and bathed each other as everyone cheered them on. It was very sweet and a unique experience to watch.
After the ceremony, Palesa asked me about the ceremony Tony and I had. She was just curious about how my world handled weddings. I had to tell her that Tony and I aren’t married. He is my friend. A couple of times he has been more than my friend. We have a bond to each other but we aren’t married. Palesa was a little surprised. She said the way we act toward each other she just assumed we had made a lifetime commitment.
Maybe someday Tony and I will make a lifetime commitment to each other but for now, I am still hurting over the death of Yates. Tony has made it clear that he loves me but he understands that I need a little time.
Journal 13
Tony and I were out of bed early this morning. I have been sleeping so well. I think it is the constant fresh air. Tony was getting ready to go hunting with the men when Palesa stopped him in his tracks and said that she had a different chore for the both of us today. Tony was a little disappointed but he didn’t argue. I think Palesa is trying to match make. She thinks she is being sneaky but she isn’t. Palesa sent Tony and me grocery shopping today to collect berries, mushrooms, wild onions and hickory nuts. It was our chore for the day and I enjoyed it. Palesa drew a couple of nice pictures to show us what we were looking for. It was a fun adventure if you don’t include the invasion of ants that attacked Tony while he was up one of the trees and the large spider that climbed up my arm while I was picking berries.
You should have seen Tony climb the trees. At first, I was thinking we were going to return to the village without the nuts but after a few tries Tony actually made it up into the trees. Palesa told us not to collect the nuts off the ground (she made sure we understood this point) because they were usually rotten and often contain more insects than the nuts still on the trees. The berries were simple to collect and Palesa said as long as we picked only the mushroom she had drawn we wouldn’t pick anything deadly. She suggested we didn’t sample any until we returned to the village just to be safe. It has been a very good day.
Journal 14
Sometimes the days you are expecting to be long and boring turn out to be something else entirely. I spent the day keeping the smaller children occupied. I didn’t want this particular chore but Palesa said it was my turn. I asked if I could change chores with someone else. I was willing to gather wood. I was even willing to get rid of the garbage. Palesa smiled at me and said “No”.
Therefore, I spent the day with the little ones. At first I had no clue what to do to keep them occupied. I tried just letting them play but they kept arguing with each other over the littlest things. I tried making up stories off the top of my head but my brain wasn’t working so well. The stories were boring and putting me to sleep. The children were bored as well. I couldn’t keep their attention. Suddenly an idea hit me in the head, actually, it was a pinecone thrown by one of the children.
I introduced my little friends to the pinecone people. Before it was midmorning, we had an entire village outlined in the dirt with rocks and populated with pinecone citizens of every shape and size. Our city continued to grow thru out the day. By mid afternoon, we had help from several of the older children and most of the gang seniors.
Am I good or what?
Journal 15
Tony and I sleep in the same hut next to each other in separate beds. At least we did until someone decided to play a joke and put a couple berries in the center of my bed. I didn’t realize the berries were there until I started to feel the ants bite me. I jumped out of bed and stripped naked. I was trying to get all the ants off and prevent further biting. Tony thought my little ant dance was funny. I didn’t think it was funny and when I get the chance, Tony is going to pay. Tony swears he did not put the berries in my bed but I have my doubts. I had to remind him a couple of times yesterday not to eat in the hut.
The ants were very tiny but they left a couple dozen welts on my legs and abdomen. I made Tony share his bed. A colony of ants inhabited mine. I told him if he laid one hand on me during the night, he was a dead man. I think he knew I was mad. He complied with my wishes all night long. Neither one of us got much sleep. The ant bites itched and stung. I couldn’t get comfortable. I tossed and turned most of the night. Palesa gave me some salve to put on the bites this morning.
Journal 16
It took me most of the morning to wash and remove the ants from my bed linen. Those little ants were so tiny it was almost impossible to see some of them. Just a little note wet ants are harder to remove than dry ants. I hung everything up to dry and then cleaned the hut to make sure there weren’t any tiny stragglers hanging around.
There was another meteor shower this evening. It was so very cool. This shower lasted a lot longer than the one the other night. The meteors were larger and brighter this time. I was expecting a couple of the meteors to hit the ground with a loud boom. Tony said they all burn up before they hit the ground. I hate it when he is a know it all.
I was holding little Kinsey, one of the smaller children during the light show. Kinsey is so cute she reminds me of one of those little cupid statues you used to find in the Hallmark stores back before the virus. Kinsey fell asleep before the light show ended so I laid her on my bed.
Don’t lay small children on your freshly washed bed linens. She peed all over my clean bed. Tony offered to let me share his bed again but asked that this time I didn’t wiggle around all night. I thought of saying that I wouldn’t have had to wiggle around all night long if he hadn’t put ants in my bed but I was afraid he might make me sleep on the dirt floor. I said “Thank you” and jumped into my side of Tony’s bed.
Journal 17
I hate being afraid. I hate irrational fear. I woke up in the middle of the night to thunder and lightning. I hate thunder and lightning. I tried to be brave and ignore the storm by hiding under my blankets but I couldn’t. Every time the lightening lit up the sky and the thunder clapped, I nearly fell off my bed. I think I have a fear of being turned into a French fry.
Tony never moved. He just lay there in his bed next to mine sleeping as if nothing life threatening was happening. I crawled into bed with Tony. He didn’t seem to mind. Actually, I don’t even think he noticed I was there until I had stolen all the blankets in my attempt to hide from Mother Nature.
It has rained most of the day. Thankfully, the rain stopped a couple of hours ago and I am no longer drenched to the bone. There is almost nothing worse than being cold and wet for hours on end. The only thing good about the rain is that everything smells good afterward.
Tony is becoming a very skilled hunter. He spent most of the morning out in the rain with several of the other men trying to catch something big enough for dinner tonight. I spent most of the morning attempting to keep the fire going.
Journal 18
Tony and I spent the morning fixing our hut to help keep out the wind and rain. We also added a canopy off the front and reinforced the sides. The hut sprung a leak over my bed last night. I think the fates don’t want me sleeping in my own bed. I tried to move my bed away from the leak but the hut is too small. It didn’t matter which direction I moved my bed. I crawled into bed with Tony. It’s not so bad he is cuddly and doesn’t snore. If he objects, he hasn’t mentioned it to me.
It has rained on and off all morning. The clouds move in and then they clear away. The sky looks dark over the far mountains. I think a big storm is moving in. Palesa said if things start to look bad we will have to move to the cave. I didn’t know we had a cave. Palesa said she would give Tony and me a tour. She needed to complete her chores first.
The meteor showers continue. I think the meteors are getting bigger and brighter. There was another light show last night before the clouds moved in and it started to rain. I am certain I saw a meteor fly across the sky when I was down by the creek earlier today. I didn’t know it was possible to see meteors during the day.
Journal 19
The rain finally stopped in the midmorning hours. We did not have to retreat to the cave. The skies are clear again. Mud puddles are everywhere. The children are enjoying the mud puddles to the dismay of their parents. There isn’t one child not covered in mud from head to toe. Bath time this evening should be interesting. I can understand their attraction to the mud. I couldn’t resist standing in one of the puddles myself. There is something undeniably fun about squishing mud between your toes.
The creek is significantly wider and deeper. We asked all the small children to stay away from the creek. Tony and Xu were fishing earlier. They both had to jump into the creek and retrieve a toddler caught in the fast flowing water while trying to retrieve a ball. The child is fine. A little water logged but fine.
Meteors continue to fly across the sky in amazing numbers. They have been flying across the sky all day. They look like little fireballs. It is no longer cool to see them fly across the sky. It is a little scary. Xu and Palesa held a meeting today. I think they are worried. I am worried and I know Tony is worried. Neither of us can remember every hearing about meteors of this size passing by the earth.
I wish the library trio (Marty, Gretchen and Cecelia) was available. They would know where to do research to get information. I have a feeling they would say something like “The last time meteors of this magnitude and numbers hit the earth the dinosaurs died out.” Scary thought.
Journal 20
We have taken refuge in the cave. Xu and Palesa claim it is the safest place to be now. They are doing a fine job at trying to keep people calm. I think my adrenaline level is off the scale. My heart feels like it is beating a thousand times a minute.
Tony is so brave if he is afraid he isn’t showing it. The meteors continue to fly across the sky by the thousands. Several meteors ranging in size from marbles to baseballs have fallen in and around the Sequoia Gang village. We were lucky that none of the meteors fell directly on any of the huts. A meteor barely missed obliterating Tony and me. It struck the ground in front of our hut. It was the first hint in the middle of the night that something was terribly wrong. The explosion was so loud that everyone in camp was knocked out of their beds. We gathered up our things as quickly as we could and went to the cave. There are fires everywhere. For several hours, the meteors have been hitting the ground. It sounds like bombs exploding. Everyone is afraid. I am having my doubts that this cave is truly a safe place to be. I think I am feeling Closter-phobic. A meteor would entomb us if it hits the right spot.
CHAPTER 3
Journal 21
We barely avoided a disaster early this morning. A meteor fell within about 50 yards of the cave and started a fire. We were lucky the wind was blowing away from the cave and not towards it. We stop the fire before it climbed any of the bigger trees. Fires are everywhere. The air smells like smoke. I think we will be fine as long as the wind doesn’t change directions.
I hate this cave. It is dirty and smells. There is bat poop everywhere. I have never seen so many bugs in one place. I tried to clean a place for Tony and I to sleep but the bugs keep invading our space. I had a horrible time trying to sleep last night. I woke up several times with bugs crawling over my face. I don’t even want to think about the ones crawling over the other parts of me.
I think the worst of the meteor shower is over. I haven’t heard anything big hit the ground in hours. We see the occasional meteor crossing the sky. They are getting smaller. Xu and Palesa are not ready to let us go back to the village. I understand their concern but I hate these bugs.
Journal 22
It has been nearly twenty-four hours since we noticed the last meteor cross the sky. I fell asleep last night sitting up, and leaning against Tony. I was hesitant about lying down. I hate bugs. I hate the thought of them crawling all over me. Tony said he would keep the bugs off. I told him I would only sleep a couple of hours and then he could sleep. I promised to keep the bugs off him too. Tony let me sleep the entire night. At least until a nightmare woke me (us) up. We have decided to stay in the cave until this evening. If no more meteors cross the sky, we are going to move back to the village.
I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt aliens had taken over the earth. They had snuck down to Earth during the meteor shower. Everyone was trying to hide by blending in with the aliens. Everyone seemed to have the proper clothes. I was stuck in the cave without my clothes. All I had was a blanket. All my clothes were gone or too small. I had no bra, no underwear and no shoes. Everyone could speak the alien language but me. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. I couldn’t blend in. I must have been crying in my sleep. Tony woke me up just as the aliens prepared me as dinner. The aliens were going to eat me. None of my friends could help me because they were trying to blend in.
Journal 23
The sky is dark and gray. The air is thick with smoke and the ground keeps shaking. I am tired of trying to survive. I want to live and enjoy life. I feel as if I am carrying a black cloud over my head. No matter where I go, disaster follows me. The earthquakes started about the time we decided to leave the cave and return to the village. Everyone made it out of the cave safely. I don’t know how we all made it out but we did. The first quake started suddenly and seemed to last forever. It was difficult to stay standing. Tony and I were standing at the entrance of the cave when the first quake started. I don’t know how long we stood there (tried to stand there) looking at each other. I think it took me a moment to realize what was happening was actually an earthquake. At first, I thought maybe a large meteor had struck the ground nearby. If the world is going to end, I wish it would hurry up and do it.
The meteors and the earthquakes have destroyed most of the Sequoia village. Only a couple of the huts are still standing and they have major damage. We have been trying to gather supplies to rebuild but it is going to take time.
The smaller children cling to us and beg to be held constantly. When a baby fills your arms, it's hard to do any work. Xu, Tony and a couple of the other senior gang members went out hunting but came back empty handed. They couldn’t even catch any fish. The stream that was wildly flowing a couple days ago had dwindled down to practically no water at all. We have a few supplies left but it will only last a couple of days. It would be nice to put some meat on the table instead of just berries, mushrooms and wild onions.
Journal 24
Xu and Palesa have decided to move the Sequoia village to a new location. We have stopped rebuilding. Our new focus is packing up the needed necessities into manageable loads. This area is no longer habitable. The creek has stopped flowing due to the earthquakes and meteor damage to the surrounding area. Even the waterfall has stopped flowing. What a shame is was a beautiful waterfall.
The Sequoia’s cannot survive without fresh water. The nearest water source is too far to travel on a daily basis. Fires have damaged a considerable amount of the forest in this area. Many fires continue to burn. Smoke still fills the sky.
My lungs hurt from breathing in bad air. I think most of the animals have moved to a safer location. Tony and Xu climbed to the top of the mountain today to look out over the surrounding area. Their journey took most of the day. I was a nervous wreck the entire time they were gone. Tony said the forest to the East looks like it received the least amount of damage from the meteors. The Sequoia’s will be looking for a new home in that direction.
Tony and I have decided not to follow the Sequoia’s to their new home. We have decided to return to Bear Country. My heart is pulling me home. I only hope that Bear Country survived the meteors and the earthquakes. I am feeling sad about having to leave Palesa. I was hoping I would be around to see her deliver her new baby. Palesa assures me her delivery is still weeks away. I am wondering if her baby will be a boy or a girl. Palesa has been a good friend. She is a strong woman. Xu is a good strong leader. I will miss them both. I will miss everyone here.
Journal 25
Tony and I said goodbye to Xu, Palesa and the rest of the Sequoia gang. I cried. I tried not to but I did. They are all good people. I am going to miss them tremendously. I hope they can find a home without having to travel too far. The journey will be difficult for Palesa and the other pregnant girls. I imagine traveling with the small children already in tow will also be a challenge. Palesa made Tony and me necklaces so that we will always remember our time spent with the Sequoia. I wish I had thought to do something similar. I had nothing to give Palesa in return.
Tony and I have been walking towards home most of the morning. We have to stop often and rest. Tony is not feeling well. He has an upset stomach and the runs. He is off in the woods taking care of business. I am currently resting beneath a tree waiting for Tony’s return. I have a feeling I am getting a touch of whatever Tony has. My stomach has recently started to feel icky and bloated with gas. The sky is an awful shade of gray. I wonder if whatever we are breathing in from the air is causing Tony’s difficulties. Depending on how far we travel each day our journey back to Bear Country shouldn’t take that long. I kind of wish we had a truck to travel in. I wish I had a roll of toilet paper.
Journal 26
I am getting to the end of this journal. I only have a few pages left. I will have to be conservative with the pages. I will need to find a new journal soon. The last time I finished with my journal it was a challenge to find a new one to write in. I had to search for weeks and when I did find one, it was expensive. It cost me a piece of my past. I had to give up the necklace my mom gave me when I turned twelve. Truly, I only regretted giving my necklace up for a moment. I needed to write. I think writing my thoughts down helps me keep my sanity. Sometimes writing is more important than eating.
Our journey back home to Bear Country led Tony and me thru a farming community. It was dark and we didn’t mean any harm. We came across a barn and decided to rest for the night. The Gang living on the farm didn’t appreciate our trespassing on their land. I think they thought we were thieves. We tried to explain that we only wanted to rest for the night but they chased us off with pitchforks.
Journal 27
I feel as if Tony and I are walking straight into hell. The earthquakes and the meteors must have hit the area around Bear Country hard. The closer we get to Bear Country the thicker the smoke is in the air. Destruction is everywhere. The earthquakes and meteors have reduced many buildings to rubble. Others look as if they are going to fall any moment.
My lungs hurt and my eyes hurt. I had to rip my shirt to use a strip of the fabric as a mask. The constant breathing in of smoke makes breathing difficult. Soot covers my body. Tony looks horrible. I can only imagine how I look. We both could use a shower. Tony and I have passed many people on the road walking away from Bear Country. The highway leading away from town looks like a refugee migration and we are going in the wrong direction.
A few people have cautioned us about turning around. We continue on our journey in spite of what we see. Bear Country is only a couple hours away if we keep up the pace. Tony is still not feeling well. He has to take numerous breaks to recuperate and go to the bathroom. I am not feeling well but my symptoms are mild and tolerable. I pray my other friends are safe and that Bear Country High School is still standing.
Journal 28
The walk up Lafayette Blvd was eerie. It was deserted. Not even a dog or cat rummaging thru garbage. No one had been on the streets for at least a dozen blocks. In the back of my mind, I had this fear that Bear Country would be nothing but rubble, our friends would be gone and Tony and I would be homeless.
I wanted to cry the moment I saw Bear Country High School still standing. I was home. I stood on the street and prayed someone would be inside. I hoped my friends would see pass the hopelessness of the situation. Ignore the desolation and destruction of the surrounding area and stayed in Bear Country. I don’t know why I was wishing this. If my friends had remained in Bear Country this would mean they were as insane as I am. I must have been standing there, staring at the school for a long time because Tony asked me if I was going to continue standing on the street or if I was going to come inside.
I started yelling for people the moment we entered the front doors. Tony ran toward the bathrooms. The halls were strangely quiet. I ran up and down all the hallways. I had given up hope that anyone was around when Pete walked out of his room in the admin hallway. He was surprised to see me. We hugged.
Journal 29
Bear Country is not as vacant as I previously thought. The library trio is still maintaining the media center. The girls are looking well and healthy. Both of their tummies are obviously now pregnant. Marty sees after their every need. He treats Gretchen and Cecelia as if they were made of glass. The Runt and Jonas were out looking for food and needed supplies. They returned a short while ago. Arms full of supplies. I asked Jonas about his brother Matt. He said Matt and Hemy are fine. They are still living at Central but will be moving to Bear Country in a couple of days. Central received a lot of damage during the meteor showers and the earthquakes. Their gym and part of the second floor collapsed. Lisa is also around but she has been spending most of her time at her boyfriend’s apartment. Pete said he doesn’t like him because he is rude and thinks he is better than everyone else is.
I asked Pete about Joshua and the Spurs gang. He said as far as he knew they are doing fine. Pete hadn’t had much of a chance to walk out there since I left. If I weren’t so tired and hungry, I would walk out there today. Joshua will have to wait until tomorrow.
Journal 30
I was able to move back into my old room in the admin hallway. It was vacant. I was expecting to have to find a new room. Things were exactly how I left them except for the pink fluffy journal left on my desk. I guess I won’t go searching for a new one. A few more pages and I can switch over to the new journal.
It’s going to be a little odd carrying around a bright pink journal. I am grateful to the person that left this journal in my room. In the front inside cover, someone wrote “For Madie, my friend.” The whole thing is a little strange. I asked Pete if he knew who left the journal. He didn’t know. Pete said he didn’t think anyone had been in my room since the day I left for Ft Shasta with Yates.
Tony is acting a little strange. He has spent most of the day down in the basement in his old room. I asked him if he was going to move upstairs and share my room. He looked at me strangely and said he had a few things to put in order in the basement. I didn’t ask for an explanation I just left the basement. I am not sure but I think Tony rejected me. I swear I will never understand men.
CHAPTER 4
Journal 31
Sleep is a good thing unless you spend the night having nightmares. I must be feeling guilty because last night I dreamt about Yates and his son all night long. I fought and chased Yates around the world the entire night. The places were familiar but all wrong. We crossed bridges, climbed walls, swam oceans and fought evil gang midgets. Yates was being unreasonable. He wouldn’t stop moving and listen to what I had to say. I couldn’t seem to get my point across that he shouldn’t leave his son all alone at Ft Shasta. The dream ended when we came to an electric fence that reached up to the sky. There were adults on the other side. They were pointing and laughing at us. We were in a Zoo. Yates crumbled into dust before my eyes. I started to scream “Let me out”, “Let me out.” That’s when Tony woke me up to see if I wanted breakfast.
Every muscle in my body is sore. I must have been tensing muscles in my dream (nightmare).There have been stories and rumors that the virus didn’t kill off all the adults. If you travel far enough you can find them. Occasionally you while you will come across someone, who knew someone, who knew someone, who ran into an actual adult somewhere. I think people are retelling the same story repeatedly to entertain the little ones and give hope to the older ones.
Journal 32
My fingertips are visible when my arm is stretched-out. It’s amazing. I was beginning to think soot would forever cover the world and the world would forever more smell like smoke. I went up to the roof this morning and looked out over Bear Country. There is more damage to the surrounding area than I had imagined. The meteors destroyed and reduced to rubble several of the buildings within sight of Bear Country. Unfortunately, through the haze you can still see a couple of fires burning in the distance.
I wrapped myself up like a mummy, put on goggles and walked out to the Spurs Fort. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know if Joshua and his gang were safe. I wish I could tell you that everything was fine but it wasn’t. The meteors caused an enormous amount of damage.
It was a sad site to see. There were dead cattle everywhere. Fire destroyed several of the bunkhouses. Luckily, the main house had minimal damage. I knocked on the front door of the main house. The guard wouldn’t let me. He thought I was a beggar looking for food. He told me to go away or he would set his dog on me. I took my goggles off and told the guard my name. He didn’t believe me.
My nose is still sore from having the door slammed in my face. I knocked again. This time when the door opened a dog jumps out at me. It was Lost. She jumped right at my chest and knocked me to the ground. Joshua steps out of the bunkhouse and points his gun at me. He was a little disappointed Lost didn’t try to eat me.
You should have seen the expression on Joshua’s face when he realized it was his friend Madie lying there on the ground. We had a good laugh and a long talk. I told him my story and he updated me with the latest news around Bear Country.
Journal 33
I went out exploring around Bear Country today. I don’t know why I went out except that there really wasn’t anything else to do. It is still necessary to cover up and wear goggles. The soot in the air kills my eyes. I’m thinking it probably isn’t very good for my lungs either.
There is more drama in Bear Country. While I was exploring a group of kids carrying banners were out parading around chanting that the world is ending unless everyone follows the will of Aloysius. Apparently, Aloysius is the answer to all of our troubles. There is always someone out there ready to exploit a situation and claim to have the answers. This really annoys me. Are we so desperate for guidance that we will believe anyone who claims to have an answer to our problems?
A few people have reopened their Kiosks. This is reassuring. People have started to try to put life back the way it was before the meteors and the earthquakes. I ran into Hyatt today as I was browsing thru the goods at Shanna’s Scraps to Clothes Boutique.
Shanna is so talented. I love her designs. I asked her to put back a shirt for me until I could come up with the can goods to pay for it. Shanna agreed to hold it for a few days but only a few days. I guess that tomorrow I will be out searching for canned goods. Hyatt invited me to his arcade. I told him I would try to drop by tomorrow if I had the time. It was good to see him.
Journal 34
I went out looking for can goods this morning. I really wanted that shirt from Shanna’s Scraps to Clothes Boutique. I couldn’t find anyone to trade with me. All I had to trade was a battery, a box of crayons and a couple of antique hair clips I found in an abandoned apartment.
No one was interested in any of my stuff so I borrowed a couple of cans from the food stores at Bear Country. Shanna was happy to receive the apple pie filling and the sweet condensed milk. I will replace it later. No one really cooks anything around Bear Country anyway.
I put on my new shirt and walked out to Hyatt’s arcade. I asked Tony if he wanted to go with me but as usual, he was too busy for me. Hyatt’s place is nice. I was amazed at how many people were hanging out there. Hyatt acquired a new pool table and several cases of slow gin, bourbon, sake and vodka. I only had two drinks because most of that stuff tastes like rubbing alcohol smells.
I swear I have no idea how people drink that stuff all the time. The two glasses I drank made my head spin and gave me an awful stomachache. I had a great time playing pool. I’m going to go back tomorrow. The person I was playing with said he would give me a couple of lessons to help improve my game. I can’t remember his name. I am hoping Hyatt knows because I don’t want to look like a fool tomorrow.
Journal 35
Lisa was ranting like a mad woman a little while ago. She was having a heated discussion with Pete about who took her cans of apple pie filling and condensed milk. I came onto the conversation just as Lisa was accusing Pete, Jonas or Tony of taking the cans.
Apparently, I have more sense than to take someone’s cake ingredients. Lisa said something like “Well, I know it’s not, Madie. She has more sense than to take someone’s cake ingredients.” I guess taking those can goods from the food stores to get that new shirt was a mistake. Lisa was going to make her boyfriend a cake for his birthday in a couple of days. I haven’t told Lisa I borrowed the cans. Maybe I can replace them and not have to tell her I took them.
I asked Tony after breakfast if he wanted to go to Hyatt’s Arcade, play pool and have a little fun. He said he was busy. Of course, he’s busy. He only has time for me on his own terms. He had better not show up at my room later wanting to talk. I’m off to the arcade. At least people play with me there.
Journal 36
Bear Country is so quiet. I think nearly everyone is still asleep. A few people are probably recovering from nasty hangovers. I have a slight headache but nothing else. I heard a couple of people attempt to make it to the bathroom during the night. I hope they made it to the toilet.
Central High School is on the verge of collapse. I am actually amazed that it is still standing. Nearly half of the second floor collapsed onto the first. Pete, Matt, Jonas and Victor put up signs cautioning people to stay out of the building.
The Central Bobcats held a ceremony yesterday afternoon on the front lawn of Central High School. The ceremony was a way of giving closer and disbanding the Central Bobcat gang. It was so sad. Poor Hemy, Central was her home. The Bobcats were her gang. Hemy spent the last couple of days saying goodbye to people. Most of the members of her gang left to seek out a new life somewhere else. Hemy hated having say goodbye to her friends. I think it broke her heart. The remaining members of the Central Bobcats have become members of Bear Country.
After the ceremony, everyone went to Hyatt’s Arcade. We danced, played pool and drank some of Hyatt’s finest. I think a few people probably drank a little too much. The only people that behaved themselves were the library trio, Marty, Gretchen and Cecelia.
Journal 37
I hate feeling guilty. I woke up early this morning and put everything I didn’t need any more into my backpack. After breakfast, I set out on my journey to find apple pie filling and condensed milk. I must have walked a hundred miles and asked a hundred people if they knew where I could find any. Most everyone looked at me as if I was crazy. (If you want canned lima beans, I know where to find some).
I went to every kiosk in the plaza. No one had any canned fruit. I did find a couple cans of condensed milk. It only cost me three pairs of socks and my bottle of shampoo from the Hamilton INN. I was getting ready to return home to Bear Country when I saw a boy pushing a cart filled with homegrown vegetables.
I don’t know why I asked him about the apple pie filling except that I was hoping there was some small chance he might know someone. He did! I was so happy I jumped for joy in the middle of the street. The information cost me my six superman comics. I spent the next hour walking to the edge of town looking for a blue house with a horse and a pig in the backyard.
Journal 38
In all honesty, I have never seen a pig that large. My first thought was that the pig must have been eating well. My second thought was some genetic experiment exceeded its goal of making an improved pig. I was staring at the pig amazed at its enormity when I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. The tap was unexpected and I nearly jumped out of my shoes. I turn around to see Spock looking down at me. It wasn’t exactly Spock but someone trying his best to be Spock. He had the haircut and even went as far as having his ears altered. He was a big boy with a voice as deep down into the cellar as anyone could get.
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