The Day-After-Halloween Fright (Middle-School Version)
Ebook by Darby Dobbs
© D. Dobbs, 2010. All rights reserved.
Smashwords edition, first electronic edition.
Published by: MoMatters
ISBN 978-0-9830986-1-4
Category: Middle-school fiction, Entertainment, Values for children, Patriotism, Government, Constitution, Halloween
Words: 3747
Language: English
Ebook description: It’s the day after Halloween at Fring Middle-School and the students bring their candy for a special event. They soon discover it’s not the candy weighing contest they expect. Mrs. Wong has other more diabolical plans...
Fring-Middle-School was a cool school until...
The Day After Halloween Fright
“A sharp mind educated in the Constitution is a weapon against tyranny*.” Gary Franchi (*tyranny: oppressive government)
“Every child in America should be acquainted with his own country. He should read books that furnish him with ideas that will be useful to him in life and practice. As soon as he opens his lips, he should rehearse the history of his own country.” Noah Webster, On the Education of Youth in America, 1788
“Liberty Cannot be Preserved Without A General Knowledge Among the People.” John Adams, 2nd president of the United States
1. The Project
“Hey,” yelled Yoren Valamos, tripping over an outstretched leg, then pitching forward into free fall.
“Argh,” he groaned, splatting over Gabby Ames, who was probably the cutest girl at Fring Middle School. A volcano of trick-or-treats spewed from his bag, across her lap, over her shoes and under the surrounding desks.
“Show ‘em how it’s done, Valamos,” jeered someone from behind.
“Sorry,” mumbled Yoren, getting clumsily to his feet.
“Dude,” said Yoren's friend Jeff.
"Who tripped me?" said Yoren with a scowl.
It was the day after Halloween, and Mrs. Wong’s classroom sounded like the inside of a video arcade.
Gabby and Jeff helped Yoren pick up the scattering of mini-Mounds, mini-Hershey's, Musketeers, full sized Snickers, mini-boxes of Dots and Junior Mints, Milky Ways, rolls of Smarties, assorted Tootsie Roll Pops,Twix, a pair of wax lips and more.
“Leave it alone, Tinbrick,” groused Yoren, as Stobham Tinbrick grabbed for a box of Dots. “It’s not yours Dude.”
"Who likes Dots anyway?" said Jeff.
"I do," said Yoren.
Tinbrick kicked them back with a sneer. His shoe looked suspiciously like the one that had tripped Yoren.
“FYI,” shouted Mrs. Wong above the din. She did cross-hatch arms for attention. “For your information, today is an all-homeroom day!”
“What?” said Yoren, who hadn’t really been listening.
“Does Principal Bing know about this?” said Know-It-All Nate.
“It was his idea,” said Mrs. Wong. She clamped her lips in a line, rapped her metric’s ruler and said, “I hope you brought your trick-or-treat candy for our special project today.”
Everyone looked around to see what everyone else had brought. Most students had their candy in paper bags. Some had pillow cases and Know-It-All Nate had his sister’s wagon. Gabby had what looked like a Halloween purse and Skinny Arlette had the same.
Jeff had a bulging pillow case.
“Seriously,” said Jeff. “I could hardly lug it in.”
The students snickered.
“Whoa,” said Yoren. “You have almost as much as me.”
“I’ve got more, Dude,” said Jeff.
Mrs. Wong hunched her shoulders and rapped the ruler again.
“No fooling around,” she said. “Our special project starts with your candy...and a lesson in math.”
“Anything but history,” said Yoren, as he sneaked a bite of a Twix.
Jeff agreed.
Ms. McCallum, the teacher’s assistant, clomped her spiky heels as she rolled a large scale into the room.
“Cool,” said Jeff.
“Mrs. Wong is going to weigh our candy, and the one with the most wins,” whispered Yoren.
“I could have told you that,” said Know-It-All Nate, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“I could have told you that before I was born,” said Stob Tinbrick.
Mrs. Wong was known for the Halloween candy weighing. The winner got early recess for a month.
“I’m gonna win,” said Yoren.
"Or me," said Skinny Arlette.
“Yeah? Well maybe I will,” grunted Stob Tinbrick, who had secretly wrapped some rocks in an empty Skittle’s bag and added them to his stash.
“Please dump your candy onto your desks,” said Mrs. Wong.
The class snickered as Tinbrick stuck part of his Halloween costume on.
“And take the mask off, Stob,” frowned Mrs. Wong. “Halloween’s over.”
Clattering sounds could be heard as the students dumped their candy out. Everyone looked again to see what everyone else had.
“Landslide,” yelled Jeff. He scooped both arms around his candy stash to keep it on the desk.
“Sweet,” said Yoren, sneaking another piece of his loot. “Hey, want to trade me your Willy Wonka bar for a Tootsie Roll Pop?” he asked.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” said Jeff.
Arlette saw Katrina’s tiny pile. “You didn’t get much candy this year, Kat,” she said. “You can have some of mine.”
Arlette slipped Kat a pack of M & M’s, a box of Milk Duds and a Hershey bar. Jeff handed over some Tootsie rolls and Gabby pitched in a pack of candy corn, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and five Smartie rolls. Yoren handed over the wax lips.
“Could I have your Mars bar too?” asked Kat.
“I’ll take some extra,” said Tinbrick, “if you’re giving it away!”
2. Is This A Joke?
Before any more could be said, Mrs. W banged her ruler and grabbed a tub the size of a giant laundry basket.
Ms. McCallum blinked. “I’ll help you with that,” she said.
The students murmured.
“Ms. McCallum is coming around to your desks,” Mrs. Wong explained. “We’re going to deposit everyone’s candy in the tub.”
Yoren’s mouth flew open. “What?!!” he said.
“Is this a joke?” scowled Jeff.
Everyone looked at everyone else.
“Is this a some kind of takeover? asked Know-It-All Nate, shooting to his feet.
“Wait a minute,” said Arlette, hugging her pile of loot. “How will I get my stuff back?”
“I want my stuff,” she said, squinting up her eye. “I don’t want somebody else’s.”
“Yeah,” said Yoren. “I went trick-or-treating on the hills. They give out the good stuff. I don’t want to trade my Snickers bars for Kat’s Bazooka Bubble Gum.”
The students leaned forward to hear what Mrs. Wong’s solution was.
“Well,” she said. “Tough luck then.”
More mouths opened. “You won’t be getting the same candy back. Or the same amount,” she added.
“But I was going to start a candy store in my garage,” cried Yoren.
“Am I crazy?” yelled Jeff. “I must be hearing things.”
“No, you are not hearing things,” said Mrs. Wong. “This year we are ‘redistributing’ our candy. The whole school is.”
“But what does ‘redistributing’ mean?” asked Skinny Arlette, squinting the eye again.
“It means that after we collect the candy, we weigh the total amount. Then we redistribute by giving each student back an equal pile. That way every student will have the same amount of candy as every other student.”
“What?” screamed Yoren. “You’re giving some of mine to Tinbrick? I don’t even like Tinbrick!”
“I don’t like you either,” said Tinbrick.
“Hey no fair,” said Jeff. “I was going to split mine with my cousin who has the mumps. Now I won’t have enough.”
“I was going to share with my Grandpa,” said Arlette. She turned a squinty eye on Mrs. Wong.
“Yeah,” said Know-It-All Nate, leaning over his loot. “I worked hard for this.”
“This is a day-after-Halloween-fright alright!” said Yoren, who noticed that Mrs. Wong was letting them rant and rave.
“I’ve got it!” said Know-It-All, springing to his feet again. “I’m telling Principal Bing about this!”
“He’s in on it too,” snapped Mrs. Wong.
3. Now Look What You’ve Done
Arlette began to wobble and blink.
The students gasped as she slumped to a heap on the floor.
“Now look what you’ve done!” cried Yoren. “You killed Skinny Arlette!”
All eyes and ears were on Arlette, and the class held its breath while Ms. McCallum took her pulse.
Finally Arlette blinked and sat. “Am I in a science fiction movie?” she asked.
“No. You are not!” said Mrs. Wong.
“Am I being punked then?” she asked.
Kat gave a big yawn. “Well I say redistributing candy is a radically cool plan.”
Everyone looked at Kat, then at her measly trick-or-treat pile.
“You would,” said Yoren.
“In fact,” Kat continued, “I would love to have more treats than I collected!”
“In fact,” she said, “You all have extra and I insist on having more.”
“You could have gotten more yourself,” said Jeff with a frown. “You don’t have the mumps.”
“I walked three hours and got a blister on my foot,” Yoren said to Mrs. Wong. “Kat quit early to watch TV.”
“Okay class. That’s enough,” said Mrs. Wong, who went back to banging her ruler.
“And don’t be a tattletale, Yoren,” she added. “Don’t be greedy either.”
“Besides, Ms. McCallum and I are the big shots here.” Mrs. Wong crossed her arms. “What we say goes!”
“Ahhhh hog’s breath,” groaned Yoren behind his hand.
“Ditto,” said Jeff.
“Like it or lump it,” growled Mrs. Wong.
Yoren grabbed one last treat from his pillowcase.
“Yoren!” yelled Mrs. F.
Yoren swallowed his bite of candy and gulped.
“Want your name on the board?” snapped Mrs. Wong.
Ms. McCallum went on collecting, as sounds of, “No fair, no fair,” came up from around the room.
Mrs. Wong’s ruler rapped harder and longer than before.
“Who would like a trip to Principal Bing’s office?” she threatened.
“I wish I had Mr. Hickenlooper instead of Mrs. Wong,” whispered Yoren.
“I wish I went to a different school,” whispered Jeff.
“I wish Yoren Valamos didn’t have a unibrow,” said Tinbrick, then snickered.
4. Greedy
Ms. McCallum finished her candy collecting, then carried the tub to the scale.
“Brilliant!” said Mrs. Wong, when she saw the candy pile. “I’d like to give a special thanks to Yoren, Jeff and Arlette. They worked extra hard so we could have lots of candy to divide!”
Yoren, Jeff and Skinny Arlette did not smile. Neither did Gabby, Tinbrick or Know-It-All Nate who had trick-or-treated their hardest this year.
“I’m putting this on MySpace,” mumbled Arlette, then squinted up her eye again.
Mrs. Wong continued. “Write these numbers in your notebooks,” she said. “Then we’ll add them up. We have 32 students. Add five shares of candy, which go to me!”
Mouths dropped even further this time.
“Ms. McCallum gets four shares, seven go to Principal Bing, six to Vice Principal Newbaum and five to each of their ten assistants.”
Sounds of “What?!” and “Hey no ffff...” were cut off with more ruler banging.
Yoren tried raising his hand, so as not to get in trouble. “None of you put candy in,” he said. “How can you take some out?”
“You didn’t even trick-or-treat!” said Jeff.
“Simple,” said Mrs. Wong. “We’re the bigshots and we make the rules. Rule number one is: we get a lot for being in charge!”
The class phone made a beep and was answered by Mrs. Wong. She smiled grandly as she said, “Of course, Vice Principal Newbaum! Of course.”
Mrs. Wong hung up the phone and turned. “That was a friend of mine in the office,” she said. “He wants his parking space repainted and would like at least seven extra shares to trade for it!”
“Hey that’s so not f....” said Arlette, then put her head down so she wouldn’t faint.
Yoren groaned behind his hand. “How come the bigshots get special privileges, and we don’t?” he whispered.
“Now we know who’s greedy,” said Jeff.
5. Math Time
Yoren gritted his teeth, as Mrs. Wong wrote ‘34 pounds of candy’ on the board.
“Divide the total number of shares into 34 pounds,” she said. “Raise your hand when you’re done."
Yoren slowly did the math. He passed a note to Jeff when Mrs. Wong looked away. “Half the candy in there used to be ours,” it said. “We could have had a great candy store.”
“I wish I was home with the mumps,” said Jeff.
Ms. McCallum walked around checking answers.
When everyone was done, Mrs. Wong said, “Ms. McCallum and I get first choice.”
As the teachers huddled over the candy, Tinbrick stuck a rubber spider in Gabby Ames’s hair.
Gabby held back a scream, as Yoren lunged for the spider, grabbed it and tossed it out the open door of the classroom.
Tinbrick scrambled for it, and the class waited expectantly for Mrs. Wong to blow. When she didn’t even turn, Yoren whispered, “Hey, they like our candy as much as we do!”
With the “big-shot” shares safely tucked away, Mrs. Wong said, “Line up beside the candy tub. And bring your trick-or-treat bags.”
Yoren raced to line up, hoping to get a few of his Snickers back.
But Kat streaked to the head of the line.
“Kat took cuts,” said Yoran.
“I was here first,” said Kat.
Mrs. Wong carefully weighed a scoop of candy and poured it into Kat’s bag.
“Thank you Mrs. Wong,” Kat sing-songed.
Yoren was next. He looked in the tub as Mrs. Wong scooped. More than half the candy was already gone! And there wasn’t a single Snickers bar either!
“Hey!” he said, then shut his mouth when Mrs. Wong glared. “But...”
“Last warning Yoren,” she snapped. “One more and you’ll be donating your entire share to Principal Bing!”
6. Double Hog’s Breath
Yoren skulked back to his seat. Kat couldn’t have gotten all the Snickers bars he thought. The teachers had taken special privileges...again!
Jeff was next. “I don’t like what you gave me,” he said, looking in his pillowcase. “Can you give me a different scoop?”
Mrs. Wong looked at Jeff like he had two heads.
“Brrriiing!” rang the recess bell, but half the students were still lined up.
“Tough luck then,” said Mrs. Wong. “If you want a share you’d better stay in line.”
“Uhhhhh,” they groaned.
“Why me?” said Arlette, squinting both eyes this time, but everyone stayed in line.
“Are you going to redistribute the candy next year too?” asked Yoren as he headed out.
“Why not?” said Mrs. Wong. “We could make it mandatory and get the parents involved.”
“Because it’s not fair,” said Jeff, after they got outside. “But watch them try it anyway.”
“Then I’m not trick-or-treating on the hills next year,” said Yoren. “Why should I get blisters when Kat won’t work at all.”
“And I’m not going for any two and a half hours,” said Jeff. “I’ll go home and watch TV like Kat.”
“Same here,” said Know-It-All Nate. “And who cares if better costumes get more treats. I probably won’t even wear one.”
“Hog’s breath and a half,” said Jeff, looking through his new loot. “This pack of Skittles feels like a bag full of rocks.”
7. That’s Our Candy You’re Eating
Grousing came from across the playground, as students checked their candy shares.
Gabby and Arlette sat backwards on a picnic table bench. “This is the worst day-after-Halloween yet,” said Arlette.
“I didn’t have that much to start with,” said Gabby. “But now I have even less.”
Choruses of “Me too,” and “Same here,” came up from all around.
The end of recess bell rang, and Kat sashayed past with candy in her mouth.
“I hope you know that’s our candy you’re eating,” said Jeff.
“Hummpht,” said Kat with her mouth full. “I wuv da ew fister!” she added.
“Who cares if you love your new sister,” said Jeff.
“No,” Kat swallowed.” I said, I love the new system.”
“You would,” said Yoren.
“Last one in’s an insect,” said Jeff and smacked straight into Tinbrick as he ran.
“Ow,” grunted Tinbrick, as something heavy assaulted his toe. The Skittles bag with rocks rolled off to one side.
“Oh, sorry,” Jeff started to say, until he looked at Tinbrick’s face. It grew pinker by the second with guilt.
Jeff looked at Yoren and Yoren looked back. Then they both looked at Tinbrick. “You!” they said at the same time.
“I don’t think so, Ladies,” said Tinbrick, giving them an evil sneer.
“Then how do you know what we’re talking about,” said Jeff.
“Right,” said Yoren. “An innocent person would have said ‘what're you talking about?’”
“Gotcha, Dude!” said Jeff.
“Not hardly,” said Tinbrick.
“First Tinbrick trips Yoren. And now this,” said Know-It-All, a hand on one hip. “I say rat him out to Principal Bing.”
“The bag has your fingerprints Tinbrick,” said Yoren. “We’re keeping it for evidence.”
8. Another Confession?
“Dang,” muttered Yoren when he saw the chalk board inside.
The day-after-Halloween fright was not over yet!
Mrs. Wong was at the board, gobbling down a Snickers bar, which had probably been his. And to make matters worse, she was about to put the Y on the word HISTOR-Y.
“Not history!!” groaned Yoren.
“Dude,” said Jeff, who was still thinking about the rocks.
Mrs. Wong turned. “First I have a confession,” she said.
“Wha-at!?” said Yoren, who hadn’t really been listening again.
“She has a confession,” said Jeff.
Yoren’s eyebrows practically hit the top of his forehead. Was Mrs. Wong confessing about the Skittle’s bag? It didn’t make sense.
Murmurs went up and everyone looked at everyone else. Even Tinbrick looked perplexed.
“We’ve been playing a little game this morning,” said Mrs. Wong, chewing a bite of Snickers. “About government.”
She added the word ‘Government’ to the chalk board.
Eyebrows went up.
“So that’s her confession,” Jeff whispered to Yoren. “Tinbrick’s guilty as a sewer rat Dude.”
Yoran nodded.
“If we called it ‘The Big Bully Government Game’,” Mrs. Wong went on, “who would you say the bullies were?”
“Duh,” said Know-It-All Nate, who had watched Ms. McCallum cart their candy to the office and was still in a sour mood.
Mrs. Wong glared.
“You and Ms. McCallum were the bullies,” said Yoren dully. “Plus Principal Bing and his gang.”
“And who would you say were the winners?” Mrs. W asked, hunching her shoulders up like a comedienne.
“All of the above,” quipped Know-It-All.
A mini-Mounds clamped between her teeth, Mrs. Wong nodded. “Redistributing your riches is one type of bully government,” she said, taking a bite between words. “Maybe Nate knows what it’s called.“
“Socialism!” said Know-It-All, pushing his glasses up.
“Correct!” said Mrs. W. “But big bully governments have other names too. Like communism, Marxism and collectivism. Plus progressivism...and others too. And all big bully governments take your rights away! That is certainly not the kind of government our Founding Fathers set up!”
“I know the Founding Fathers,” said Know-It-All. “All fifty seven of them, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin...They wrote the Constitution of the United States.”
“Very good Nate,” said Mrs. Wong, as Ms. McCallum quietly pointed to the American flag.
“This flag stands for America, land of the free, where no one should have to redistribute their loot!” said Mrs. W.
Cheers went up from around the room.
9. The Clue
“Does this mean we get our candy back?” asked Jeff.
“Sorry,” said Mrs. Wong. “All I have left are a few gummy worms.”
“Same here,” said Ms. McCallum, “and half a Snickers bar.”
“Double dang!” muttered Yoren.
“Uuuuuhhhh,” moaned the class.
“That was the worst game ever,” said Arlette.
"Diabolical," said Know-It-All.
With all the distraction going on, Jeff held up a note for Stob Tinbrick: “M & M’s, Hershey bar and Milk Duds”. Judging from the look on his face, Tinbrick knew exactly what it meant.
“No way,” he mouthed, locking eyes with Jeff.
Jeff looked at Mrs. Wong and started to raise his hand, when Tinbrick quickly mimed, “O-kay Dude...”
A glaring Tinbrick selected the goods and passed them via Gabby, then Yoren and on to Jeff.
Mrs. Wong had written ‘Founding Fathers’ and ‘Constitution’ under ‘Government’, and was now paraphrasing Thomas Jefferson: ‘An ignorant people shall not remain...’ She added the word ‘free’.
“This means the constitution is your owner’s manual!” she wrote next, underlining ‘your’.
Tinbrick, still mad about the restitution, gave Jeff the snake-eye from across the room. Mrs. Wong turned in time to see him follow it with a clenched fist.
“Is there a problem Stobham Tinbrick?” she asked with a frown. “It’s not too late to lose all of your candy you know.”
Yoren stifled a smile.
Jeff started on a note which read, “Restitution is only fair Stob. Let’s put it behind us Bro.”
“Moving right along...” said Mrs. Wong. She stepped to the “Projects” table, where she unveiled a stack of serious looking books. With titles like “A Constitution 4 The People” and “A Patriot’s History of the United States” there was bound to be homework.
“First History and Government!” moaned Yoren, slumping down in his chair. “Now Founding Fathers, Constitution...”
...and homework!” said Jeff.
“Let’s see an official show of hands,” continued Mrs. Wong. “Who really hated redistributing their loot?”
Tinbrick, opening his note from Jeff, paused to stick his hand up along with almost everyone else. Kat, sporting the wax lips, was the only hold out.
“Now put on your listening ears,” said Mrs. Wong, as she held up a constitution book. “And I’ll give you a clue. Study this timeless document, the United States Constitution, and you will learn about individual freedom...and how to keep your loot next time!”
Yoren sat up with a jolt. “How to keep our loot!?” he said. “Then maybe I’ll trick-or-treat on the hills again! I’ll start the candy store after all!”
“Count me in,” said Jeff.
“I could start a treats-for-the-needy program with my Grandpa,” said Skinny Arlette.
“And I’ll prob'ly make an awesome creature costume next year,” said Yoren. Gabby Ames gave him a smile.
Only Kat looked glum.
“Learn about the Constitution or lose out, Kat,” said Mrs. Wong.
“Don’t worry,” said Arlette, squinting her eye at Kat. "We’ll give you some trick-or-treat tips next year.
"Yeah", said Jeff. "And if you put the effort in, you’ll get as much as we did.”
Kat perked up. “Highly radical,” she said.
Mrs. W popped the last gummy worm in her mouth and wrote: ‘NO HOMEWORK for those who listen in class!’
“Dude, I was going to listen anyway,” said Yoren with a grin.
“Double-cool,” Jeff started to say, then looked at Kat.
“Highly radical,” she said.
THE END
Look for more books by Darby Dobbs, including more Jeff and Yoren books, an eye-opening constitution book and the All-Animal Elementary version of The Day After Halloween Fright.