Parallel Worlds
Nothing is as it seems
2nd Edition
By
Heather Macauley Noëll
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Published by: Heather Macauley Noëll
Copyright © 2012 by Heather Macauley Noëll
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Parallel Worlds
Nothing is as it seems…
2nd Edition
Author's Note:
'Parallel Worlds' is a metaphysical, visionary fiction, however the greater part of the story is based on truths which have been brought to light by a remarkable woman named, Anastasia, who currently lives in the Russian wilderness. Those who know her say that she is capable of teleportation, bi-location, telepathy and long-distance healing. Author, Vladimir Megre, met Anastasia and shares his experiences, including her teachings about humanity's hidden history, our true capabilities, and our potential to thrive in the future, in 'The Ringing Cedars Series.'
After reading the first book, "Anastasia," I saw the simple solution to every problem we currently face on this planet, and more than anything I wanted to share these profound teachings with others. Yet, I quickly discovered that even with those who loved the books, very few went on to read the entire series.
Realizing that the 'overview' is vitally important in order to more fully understanding the concepts, I decided to weave these teachings into a spiritual fantasy-adventure which would be fun for teens and also give adult readers an entertaining overview of some of the most powerful teachings from books 1-8.
Why create a 2nd Edition?
When I wrote Parallel Worlds I wanted to include as many of the Anastasia teachings as possible, however I was concerned that this would slow down the fantasy-adventure part of the story, especially for teens.
So I have removed three chapters (which thankfully stand alone) and I simply added them at the end of the story as 'Deleted Chapters.' (You will also find an audio link to a 1 hour discussion called, "The Truth Behind the Fiction," which will further explain Anastasia's teachings.)
Chapter 1
Amelia lay on her back watching clouds effortlessly shape-shifting as they drifted in the gentle breeze. The day moved along as any day would. The sun traced its customary path across the heavens, yet it never seemed to set. Sounds of nature surrounded her as the creek burbled and splashed in the hypnotic way that creeks do. Moments, hours or days could have gone by – in timelessness it’s impossible to tell.
But there is a moment everyone experiences in death. The moment when you finally realize... there is no death. There is only life. And then the grand irony collides with everything you once believed about being able to control your life: Life has a life of its own.
Amelia snapped her thoughts to attention, hoping she would somehow awaken herself from the hypnotic spell swirling through her mind. As she traced back to what must have been only the day before, her memory was perfectly clear – yet from her current perspective everything seemed surreal and incomprehensible.
It started as a weekend camping trip to Canyonlands National Park with fifteen other high school seniors. They had left Friday at noon, and after three hours on paved roads and another bumpy hour down a dirt path, their old yellow school bus rumbled into their campsite spewing noxious black clouds of exhaust that quickly dissipated into the crystal clear evening sky of southern Utah.
The students and teachers scrambled to pitch their tents and start the campfire before dark. The moment the sun set, a chilling breeze caused the group to huddle by the fire in jackets, hats and gloves. Their dinner was comprised mainly of roasted hot dogs on sticks and gooey s’mores for dessert, but no one lingered for long. The wind picked up, driving everyone into their tents, and deep into the warmth of their sleeping bags.
A thin veil of frost covered the ground the next morning, but by mid-day it was seventy degrees. Amelia didn’t know her hiking partner, but she’d noticed him at school on her first day. Matthew was tall and athletic with dark hair, ruddy cheeks and grayish-blue eyes. Despite his obvious popularity, he was a bit shy and unassuming as well – Amelia thought that was the nicest thing about him. She could hardly believe her luck when he was randomly chosen to be her partner by their geology teacher.
Though it was still wintry and overcast just a few hours north, there was a comfortable warmth and delicate fragrance in the air, characteristic of springtime in the high desert, and the cacti were in full bloom amidst coarse grass, sage and prickly pear. Other than a hawk circling in the distance, the only creature they saw was the occasional lizard – that is, until Amelia reached for a rock at the base of a juniper tree and baby rabbits burst from their nest, spreading out like cottontail buckshot.
The plan was for all the students to be back at camp by mid-afternoon. But in the middle of their hike Amelia and Matthew realized their cell phones didn’t work, and neither of them had worn a watch, so they had no idea of the time.
The radiant sun, more golden as it flowed toward the horizon, merged with the boundless energy they felt, imparting a feeling of false confidence. They hiked along dry streambeds and scrambled over boulder fields in their gradual ascent to the top of a high mesa where red rock canyons rose majestically above the desert floor. The air was slightly cooler now, but didn’t breathe what was to come.
Matthew had hiked in this area before and suggested an alternate, shorter way back. As they descended into a deep canyon labyrinth, time seemed to stand still. Surrounded by earthen walls, Amelia could only see the vibrant indigo sky overhead with no indication of the sun’s proximity to the horizon. Yet in her mind’s eye, she kept seeing the sun setting more quickly than they imagined. Though she said nothing to Matthew, she kept hearing in her mind, Turn back... Turn back... Trust yourself…
Soon they came upon a gradual incline of a narrow canyon wall that led to the top of a plateau. As they emerged from the enclosed space, a profound and hypnotic beauty appeared before them, the sun falling slowly toward the horizon, washing deep oranges and fiery reds over the land.
“It’s much later than I thought,” said Matthew, a hint of anxiety in his voice. “You’ve got a flashlight, right?”
Amelia shook her head. “I didn’t think to bring one. I didn’t think I’d need it.”
“You’re right, we probably won’t,” Matthew said reassuringly, “but we should hurry. There’s a cliff up ahead with a metal cable where we can climb down.”
Amelia looked anxiously at him.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Come on…” Matthew said trying to sound confident, but he was fairly sure he’d been overly optimistic in saying that they probably wouldn’t need a flashlight.
His heart began to pound heavily and he broke into a run. Racing at top speed across the plateau they finally made it to a towering rock cairn that Matthew knew was just a few hundred feet from the trailhead. He stopped abruptly and said, breathlessly, “OK, we made it! The cable is just ahead. We’ll be back at the camp before dark,” he added, offering Amelia a drink of water.
They paused for a moment, relieved, out of breath and invigorated from running in the cool, crisp evening air. The sun was setting, lighting up towering red rock bluffs as the wind drove gold-tinged clouds across the deepening blue sky. It was a picture of perfection, and just like any sunset it would be gone forever in matter of moments; so they stood and stared as if under a hypnotic spell.
Suddenly Matthew’s body jolted leaving him wide-eyed as he gasped in surprise. “Sorry,” he said shaking his head, “I must have been really out there. Ok, we gotta go.”
They walked with long, quick purposeful strides, but when they reached the trailhead, they saw that the sandstone on the cliff face had cracked and the top portion of the cable was dangling from a metal post twenty feet below where it should have been. From where they stood it was an eighty foot drop to the desert floor. They couldn’t go forward, and there was no sense in going back. Though it wasn’t much, a large boulder provided a tiny bit of shelter from the wind. So they sat next to it and watched the evening sky transform.
The clouds turned from gold to brilliant magenta, and now appeared ashen as the last glimmer of sunlight withdrew leaving in its place a deep cobalt blue. The temperature dropped rapidly as stars began to appear. The merest crescent moon hovered in velvety blackness at the edge of the horizon and quickly vanished.
For some time, they sat quietly huddled up, Amelia with her feet flat on the ground and her arms wrapped around her knees, spaced a few inches apart. Neither spoke as they both contemplated, each in their own way, the effect that death might have on the plans they’d made, or hadn’t had the chance to make. Much too quickly the wind picked up. The cold was sinking deep into their bones now, numbing their fingers, freezing their noses. Matthew couldn’t even look at Amelia, her teeth chattering loudly. This might have been, he figured, the worst he had ever felt. And from the perspective of this being a first date, he probably would have been better off accidentally setting her house on fire.
But right as he had condemned himself to spending the rest of his – probably very short – life in solitude, he felt Amelia fall gently against him and lay her head upon his shoulder. Awkwardly at first, he put his arm around her, and though she instinctively moved closer to him, Matthew knew this wasn’t enough to help either of them stay any warmer.
“I hope I’m not being too forward,” Matthew said with some difficulty, his cold throat catching on his words, “but I think if we just… rearranged ourselves a bit...”
Amelia could feel him gesturing with his hands, and turned to find him pantomiming the action of her sitting in front of him, but he looked more like a man on a jet-way using both hands to guide an airplane taxiing to a parking spot, which in this case was the ground between his legs. She let out an unexpected, stuttered laugh, and felt a moment of warmth, even if it was only toward him.
With no small amount of stiff, cold, awkwardness, she sat in front of him and slid back, pressing herself against his chest. And as Matthew’s arms wrapped around her, Amelia smiled while sniffling uncontrollably. Despite the gusting, cold winds which bore the chilling promise of hypothermia, she knew that this was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to her.
Amelia had never had a boyfriend. There simply wasn’t time. Prior to her move from New York City she’d been in a private school for the performing arts. She took singing and acting lessons as well, but her passion was to be a prima ballerina, and every spare moment of her day was dedicated to ballet.
For all the confidence that Amelia exuded onstage, she possessed a charming, natural quality in that she seemed to have no idea that she’d finally exited her caterpillar stage and had emerged as a magnificent butterfly.
Her braces had been removed and though she had a dazzling smile, she seldom wore lipstick or any makeup unless it was necessary for a ballet performance. This was mainly a knee-jerk reaction to her mother's insistence that, as the daughter of an upper-class family, it was Amelia’s duty to participate in a debutante ball at eighteen. Amelia flatly refused and, much to her mother’s chagrin, went to great lengths to establish herself as a tomboy – wearing only sneakers, jeans and t-shirts whenever possible.
Her mother’s response was to go shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue where she purchased her daughter an eighty-five thousand dollar white, Valentino ball gown. Upon her return home, Amelia’s mother made a point of explaining that the dress had been tailored to fit Amelia’s measurements, and couldn’t possibly be returned, so Amelia would simply have to wear it.
She had ignored her mother, but delighted in putting on the dress six months later and wearing it to breakfast. Amelia had grown five inches during that time, and the original floor length gown was now halfway between her knees and her ankles. Her mother leveled an icy glare in her direction and said nothing but the chill in the room spoke volumes. Her father never even glanced up from his newspaper.
As Amelia's core temperature plummeted, she could no longer feel her arms and legs. In that moment she would have done anything to be at her coming-out ball wearing a Valentino gown. She would have worn makeup and danced and been so very, very happy. She imagined how proud her parents would have been, and suddenly all the petty things she thought were so important really didn't matter anymore.
Over the next few minutes her mind became more and more confused: She couldn’t decide if she was cold or hot, she couldn't remember why she was there or who she was with. Somehow she knew they wouldn’t survive the night, and at the same time she had slipped past the point where any of that seemed to matter.
All at once her shivering stopped. Amelia heard a strange pattering sound, but she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from or how to make it stop. With great effort she pressed her palms against her ears, only to discover it was her own heartbeat racing frantically in a final, desperate attempt to keep her body alive.
Suddenly Amelia felt warm and lightheaded. There’s nothing to worry about… she thought as she peacefully drifted out of her body. A magnetic radiance drew her towards it as the physical world was absorbed by a new spectrum of color, sound, and feeling that flowed seamlessly together, each becoming the other as she passed into a realm where time had no meaning.
After a moment of blissful unawareness, the sensations all around her merged and universes of creation sparked into existence in every corner of her imagination. Spiraling dream worlds of incomprehensible vastness and stunning beauty flowed through her – countless universes filled with master creators who knew how to intentionally ‘dream’ new creations into existence.
Ordinary people create worlds – universes, even – every night as they sleep, but that’s unconscious creation, because they fall asleep never knowing where they’ll be or what will happen. These ‘master creators’ created worlds and universes as we dream, the difference being that they were able to remain in their worlds indefinitely – changing and adding to their creations to fulfill their desires as quickly as they emerged.
Still absorbed in the vision, Amelia watched as one of the master creators did something that had never been accomplished before or since: Her dream materialized as the physical universe, with a Garden of Eden called Earth as the crown-jewel of Her creation.
This marked the beginning of time – for without matter there is no space or time – and in that moment the most omnipotent master creators in existence discovered they were, for the most part, powerless in this new world: They couldn’t touch it or change it, let alone understand how to create a physical world of their own. A deep-seated avarice arose amongst the master creators and began to play upon their thoughts. This bond of envy would ultimately unite them in a scheme to either discover the secret to physical creation, or utterly destroy the world that had been created.
Before Amelia could see further into what had happened, her attention was drawn away. It felt as if a gentle mist was falling silently around her. She knew she was waking up, but she felt the truth in what she had seen. She knew that the master creators had somehow influenced humanity, and she desperately wanted to know what had taken place. The answer began materializing out of the mist before her, but just as she was about to grasp the full implication of what she was seeing, the image began to dissipate, disappearing completely as she found herself awaking to a cloudless dawn.
Amelia’s eyes flitted open. Was it real? she wondered. In that moment, the feeling of what she had seen lingered with such intensity that it seemed there could be no other answer: Somewhere out there, she was convinced, in a place where time is of no consequence or meaning, there existed these… master creators… jealous and spiteful entities who had been plotting to undermine Earth and the physical realm.
And not only that, she realized, a chill shivering up her spine, they had succeeded.
Amelia’s gaze turned upward. High overhead the night sky was still in possession of a few stars, but it softened as it approached the horizon, now embracing radiant streaks of golden light ready to burst into the fullness of a new day. For a moment it was like waking between two worlds. The world she’d just left was fresh in her mind and seemed equally as real as the world she awoke to find herself in. Matthew was still sitting behind her with his arms around her and his head resting on her shoulder, breathing so deeply she knew he had to be asleep.
Amelia wondered how they’d managed to survive. Maybe the night had become warmer – a wind from the south perhaps. Whatever it was Amelia felt warmth in her body and much to her surprise she wasn’t stiff or uncomfortable. As she stirred gently, she felt Matthew awaken, slowly raising his head.
“I can’t believe we’re still alive… You are alive, right?” he asked, shaking her gently. “Okay, good, well that’s a relief… “ he added as Amelia turned slightly to smile at him. “Hey, are you feeling this too? It’s like waking up in a warm bed. I’m not cold at all.”
“Yeah,” she said as Matthew stood up, placing one hand on her back and helping her up with the other. Looking into her eyes, he smiled and laughed, completely amused and utterly astonished at what seemed their good fortune.
“What is this?” he said, “It’s like we’re in another world.”
Amelia nodded. She could feel it too. And for a moment, time seemed to disappear, as if being here right now, despite everything that had happened, was the most natural thing in the world.
Her gaze relaxed. Then her eyes widened with a sudden worry and she said, “We should head back now…”
“Yeah,” said Matthew, hiding his own renewed sense of anxiety, “Mrs. Caldwell is probably having a heart attack.”
They began retracing the path they’d taken to get there at a brisk jog, a knot tightening in Amelia’s stomach at the thought of what might be happening at the campsite right then. After a few minutes at that pace, they broke into a full-on run, and Amelia was beset by the strange feeling that this world no longer operated on rules that she understood; she didn’t feel the least bit tired, and the distance that it had taken them hours to traverse before seemed to pass in no time at all. She wasn’t hungry or thirsty or even slightly worn out when she arrived at the campsite, and Matthew had no trouble keeping up with her.
“Whoa,” she heard from behind, pebbles clattering down a steep slope as Matthew ground to a stop.
As she surveyed the scene in front of them, a tremor ran up Amelia’s spine, her lips parting slowly. Then, much to her own disbelief, she heard herself say, “There’s no one here… But, it doesn’t look like they left… It looks like they were never here at all.”
Chapter 2
She was right. There wasn’t one spot where a tent might have been, there were no footprints, and no sign of the campfire they’d had the day before. As they looked around bewildered, Amelia climbed into an old gnarled tree and said, “I sat right here and had my breakfast. I remember this exact view, and I could see the road leading…” her voice trailed off.
Matthew followed her gaze and climbed up to a branch above her for a better look. Amelia’s heart was already in her throat when Matthew climbed down and sat next to her, “I’ve camped here since I was a kid… but now there are no campgrounds, there’s not a single tent and…”
“The road isn’t there anymore…” Amelia said, finishing his sentence with a shocked tone in her voice. “Oh my God, do you think we’re… Dead?”
Matthew sat quietly for a moment and then said thoughtfully, “No, I don’t think so… It’s strange, but ever since I woke up this morning, it’s like my thoughts are more fluid. And like I know things I shouldn’t… Like what’s happening to us.”
“You do?” said Amelia, perking up. “Then what is this place?”
“I can’t say for sure,” said Matthew carefully, “but I have an idea of what could have happened. You see, rather than there being a separation or a wall between the dimensions, it’s more like a membrane,” he went on, making broad gestures with his hands, “and... as I understand it, at least… from a mathematical perspective, it’s possible to pass through this membrane without even realizing it. And if that’s true for the dimensions, then it could be true for parallel worlds as well.”
She shook her head. “I dunno’… It sounds like you’ve been reading too much science fiction.” But she got the feeling he was on the right track.
“You can never read too much science fiction,” he replied, straightening up and feigning a haughty air. Then, with a look that said there was more to that thought, he chewed his lip and said, “It is surreal though, isn’t it?”
Amelia looked around in a wide arc, taking in the disquieting stillness of the world around her. Quietly, she had to agree. “So… You think we’ve somehow ended up in a parallel world? What does that even mean?”
Comforted by her sudden interest in his thoughts, Matthew said, “We only think we know what reality is… In quantum physics it makes as much sense to say there are infinite universes as it does to say there is one universe – the mathematical equations can be interpreted either way.”
“Okay…” said Amelia, trying to be supportive. She hoped he was going somewhere with all of this.
“Well, it’s like this...” he began, getting his hands set for another round of wild gestures. “Out of an infinite number of possibilities, the universe, every second, collapses into one… which is the reality we’re living in. Or it doesn’t collapse… and all the possibilities happen at the same time... just, on different planes of reality.”
“So, let me try to get this straight,” she said, taking a deep 'here we go' breath. “For every possibility that exists... say, if you toss a coin and it could come up heads or tails... there is one universe where the coin came up heads... and another where it came up tails?”
“Well, yes, that's one way of looking at it.”
Amelia smiled, relieved to find that they were on the same page.
“The other... and this is more likely, I think...” Matthew went on, “is that only one outcome is created, and there is only one universe. So if the coin came up tails, the possible universe where the coin would have come up heads ceases to exist... along with all other universes that could have been created based on choices other people and beings were making, and chances they were taking.”
“Ah... So how does that help us?”
“Well...” Matthew began, tentatively, “There's another way of looking at this, too... which is that the universe only splits at significant times. Not for every little choice that's made... But for the big stuff... Like death.”
Amelia knitted her eyebrows together and squinted. “I thought you said we weren’t dead.”
“Well, yeah… not entirely. I mean, don’t you think we could be both alive and dead? Just in different universes?”
Amelia contemplated the idea, then lit up with understanding, “My grandma died in a hospital...” she began slowly. “She was dead for about four minutes before the doctors brought her back to life. And after that she used to say… death only exists in the eyes of the beholder. She said that the person who dies never experiences death… they go right on living. And she told me that when she… died… she floated up above the operating table and watched everything the doctors and nurses were doing to bring her back.
“In a way, it's kind of like what you're saying… she was alive and dead at the same time.” Then anxiously she added, “Matthew, do you think we’re dead… I mean, dead in the third dimension?”
“Maybe…” said Matthew, shaking his head thoughtfully as he tried to figure out how they could be sure. Then his jaw dropped slightly and he said, “Amelia, you said that your grandmother floated up and could see her own body on the operating table, and from the doctor’s perspective her body was dead… right?”
Amelia nodded.
“Then if we died…” Matthew’s heart raced with excitement. “Maybe we can find our bodies!”
The proposition startled Amelia, but it made a strange kind of sense, too; as if she had finally collided head first with reality. Then a sobering truth set in…
“You don’t think we would have noticed that when we woke up?” she asked. “Our bodies just lying there on the ground?”
“I don’t know. Your grandma might have expected to die, and that’s why she knew to look for her body. You and I had no idea, so maybe that’s why we didn’t see ourselves.”
As they went back down the trail, Amelia felt a renewed sense of hope – which was odd given the fact that they were headed off to see if they could find evidence that they had in fact, died. At the very least, it was good to have something to do… But as they neared the spot where they’d spent the night, a feeling of dread washed over her.
What do dead people do? Where do they go? Of all the things she’d ever heard about death, everything from heaven and hell to her grandmother’s story, she’d never heard anyone mention anything quite like what she was experiencing. Then, as they approached the plateau, her thoughts quietly subsided, replaced by the unsettling realization that whatever she found there would most likely lead only to more questions.
“Well… great,” she said as they arrived. “There’s nothing here. That’s helpful…”
“I don’t know…” said Matthew slowly. “I think this is better than the alternative.”
He was right. Forlornly, Amelia looked to the southern sky and said, “I wish I could at least let my parents know I’m all right. They’ll be so worried...”
Matthew stood quietly looking at her, his mind clearly somewhere else.
After a moment, Amelia said, “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know…” he said, shaking his head slightly. “I was thinking about my family last night. I’ve been sort of angry at them… like… all my life,” he added with a wry smile, his gaze roaming to meet Amelia’s. “I’ve heard of people going through near-death experiences and having some sort of cosmic break-through with their family… or coming out on the other side suddenly knowing who they are and what they want from life. But I don’t feel any different.”
“What do you mean?” asked Amelia.
Thinking quietly for a moment, Matthew answered, “I guess I’m saying that if we’re either dead or in another dimension… I thought my life would suddenly make sense to me.”
Amelia was staring at him, and though there was both kindness and understanding in her eyes, Matthew suddenly felt self-conscious for saying anything at all. He never spoke about his family, not even to his closest friends, and he felt uncomfortable showing Amelia this side of himself. But he could tell from the way she looked at him that Amelia really did want to understand.
So he continued tentatively. “My family is quite… wealthy,” he added after a considerable pause. “I know that seems like a good thing to most people, but…”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about,” Amelia blurted out, then quickly added, “sorry… go on…”
Matthew smiled at her and continued, “Well, you see, I’ve grown up with ‘you’re the eldest; you have to set a good example’… and my dad has this bizarre habit of saying ‘we…’ don’t this or ‘we…’ don’t that… as if he’s talking for me as well. In my entire life my parents have never asked me what I want to do or who I want to be. They’ve had everything laid out for me – as if they’re doing me this big favor… saving me from having to think for myself.”
“It appears our parents went to the same parenting school,” said Amelia, her eyes twinkling.
Matthew laughed, and grinned broadly. “My parents planned out everything from my pre-school to what college I would go to and what degree I needed to get. There’s even this bizarre shrine my mom created in my dad’s den with two identical glass cases that stand side-by-side…” he slowed down, as if suddenly aware of the sobering reality of his family life. “One is my dad’s… all of his trophies and awards from high school and college. And then all the stupid stuff I’ve won so far…” He added, shaking his head.
“Why do you say that?” asked Amelia, not quite understanding what he was getting at.
“Because I don’t care about any of it,” said Matthew quietly. “I’ve never been allowed to do what interested me. It was always about following in my father’s footsteps… Impressing his friends, making a good impression… and the idea that I should just put up with everything because someday I’ll inherit the family fortune.
“Kids at school look at me like I’m some spoiled rich kid – like they know me because they know where I live and where my family came from. Or because I’m good in sports they think I’m just a ‘jock.’ But I don’t care about any of it – sure, I like sports, but I’d rather try stuff I’ve never done before.”
“Like what?” asked Amelia curiously.
“Well, I used to watch these old Fred Astaire movies with my grandfather and I always wanted to learn how to tap dance... Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?”
“No,” said Amelia enthusiastically. “I love to tap dance. I learned math by tapping out numbers! Dancing taught me to count, actually. But Matthew, it’s not too late – well at least I hope it’s not – couldn’t you just tell your parents what you want?”
“If I go home and tell my family I’m not going to be their perfect son anymore – that I’m going to quit baseball and start taking tap classes after school, and I’m going to take the classes that interest me – not what they say I ‘need’ to carry on the business and – do you know what they’ll do? They’ll send me to a therapist.”
“My mom’s a therapist,” said Amelia supportively, “I’m sure she’d see your side.”
Matthew laughed, “You don’t know my family. They’re not looking for the truth – they want control. They’d take me to as many therapists as necessary to get the results they want. And if I don’t comply with their wishes… if I refuse to see things the way they want me to see them… they’ll be sure I’m medicated until I do.”
“Have they done that before?” asked Amelia, taken aback.
“When I was in kindergarten,” said Matthew, “I guess I was just like any kid… I had tons of energy. I was diagnosed as ADD or ADHD… one or the other. It’s as if having energy is a disability. My parents never questioned following the advice of the authorities – God forbid they should think for themselves, or allow me to have an opinion.
“I was medicated until I was twelve years old. I begged my parents to take me off of it, but they wouldn’t. And then one day, I just knew that the only way they’d take me off the medication was if I acted exactly the way they wanted me to. I started getting A’s and being good at sports. The day I brought home my first trophy, my father’s reward was to have me reevaluated by my doctor. So I have no doubt what my parents would do if my behavior changed to something they don’t like.”
In that moment, Amelia had a genuine appreciation for her mother, even though she was caught up in the whole social scene, cotillions and all – her mother always stood up for her.
“I was a lot like you when I was little,” said Amelia softly. “I was constantly bouncing off the walls. When I was eight, I’d been to the principal’s office so much my mom can’t even remember how many times she had to come and get me. Finally the principal demanded my mom take me to a doctor to be tested. He said that as a responsible parent she needed to have me treated for this ‘problem’ that was upsetting the whole classroom, or she’d need to find another school for me.
“My mom was furious, but in New York City it’s not easy to change to another private school. She ended up taking me to a pediatrician. He chatted with me and then he turned on the radio and he and my mom left the room saying they’d be right back.
“I didn’t know it, but they were standing behind a two-way mirror. The minute they left I jumped off my chair and started dancing to the music. The doctor looked at my mom and said, “There’s nothing wrong with your daughter. She doesn’t need drugs – she’s a dancer.”
Amelia smiled brightly, “The next day my mom took me out of the private school and put me in dance classes. I don’t know how she did it, but she got me into a school for the performing arts – even though it was the middle of the school year.”
Matthew sat quietly looking at Amelia, admiring her enthusiasm, and wondering what his life would have been like if his parents had really listened to him. A cool breeze gently tousled Amelia’s hair as streams of golden sunlight found their way through dense cumulous clouds, lighting up the cerulean sky like a Maxfield Parrish painting. The moment was perfect and surreal at the same time.
All at once they heard the distant laughter of a child. Both looked simultaneously in the direction of the sound... It was coming from beyond the edge of the cliff, and Matthew shot Amelia a questioning glance. She shrugged and shook her head in wonder, getting up to investigate.
As they approached the cliff’s edge, the laughter seemed to bubble up through trees surrounding a tiny creek.
Chapter 3
Matthew and Amelia looked over the edge of the cliff. There wasn’t a cable, but somehow it didn’t seem as steep as it had appeared the night before.
“Is it just me,” asked Matthew, “Or does it seem like we could definitely climb down here?”
“Yeah,” agreed Amelia, peering out over the edge. “I think you can totally make it.”
Matthew sighed a loud, “Okay…” trying to cover his nervousness as he primed himself to climb down. Then, much to his surprise, he found that his feet clung almost magically to the rock.
“Whoa! Check this out, I’m like… Spiderman or something.” He leaned forward at what seemed to be an impossible angle and waved his arms around.
Crying out, Amelia grabbed him by the shirt and tried to pull him back towards her.
“Oh, hey…” she said, breathlessly poised like a ballerina mid-posture, “…you’re right.”
Matthew felt his heart race at her touch and he coughed, clearing his throat, “Yeah, cool, huh?” He stepped back, held her hand and then headed down the cliff. “Come on.”
Reaching the bottom, they followed the sound of the streaming water and soon found themselves standing directly across the creek from a little girl with brown eyes and long black hair that hung in loose curls around her face. She looked up at them and smiled broadly. “Here you are!” she said enthusiastically.
Amelia and Matthew looked at each other and back at the child. “Do you know us?” asked Amelia curiously.
“I know you, but you probably don’t remember me,” said the girl.
“You know us?” said Matthew in amazement as he observed the girl curiously.
The girl laughed and said, “We had a… oh, how shall I say this? An agreement, but I know that won’t make any sense to you. For now, I’ll put it this way,” she added with a slight, dramatic pause, “I know why you’re here.”
“You do?” Amelia exclaimed as she moved closer to the child. “Are we dead?” she blurted out, before taking a moment to think of what an odd statement that must seem to a child.
The girl giggled, “Of course you’re not dead!” as if it was too obvious to mention. “But you are in another dimension.”
“I knew it!” exclaimed Matthew, stepping closer to the child, “Is this a parallel world?”
The girl cocked her head to one side and said, “All worlds are parallel.”
“No, I mean… Is this world parallel to the third dimension? Everything here looks the same as it did to us yesterday… but it’s not the same.”
The child looked at Matthew with an intense, penetrating stare. “You don’t remember anything do you?”
Matthew stared at her, befuddled, but said nothing. Then the girl shifted her gaze to Amelia with the same question in her eyes.
She stood up, beckoning to Matthew and Amelia as she began to walk along the creek, tiptoeing from one large flat rock to the next. They followed her quietly. Finally she said, “I know where you’ve come from and where you’re intending to go.”
“What do you mean?” asked Matthew. “And how can you possibly know where we’re intending to go if we have no idea where we are, let alone where we should go?”
“Well, try this,” said the girl, smiling. “Why do you think you’re here?”
“We don’t know,” replied Amelia quickly, with a tinge of urgency in her voice, “We were hoping you might know…”
“But if you DID know the answer, what would it be?” said the girl patiently.
Amelia shook her head as she thought for a moment. “You mean… just make up an answer?” asked Amelia.
“Yes. Just make something up.”
Amelia had certainly conjured up more than a few stories to stay out of trouble, but those stories had to, in some way, line-up with reality. And in school her answers were either right or wrong. No one had ever asked Amelia to make up an answer. So it took her a moment to stop thinking about whether or not her answer would be correct. She had to keep reminding herself, ‘If I knew the answer, what would it be?’
Then out of the blue an answer popped into Amelia’s head. She didn’t really understand it, but she knew she couldn’t be right or wrong, so she just came out with it.
“We’re here because this is a transition point…” As the words came out of her mouth, Amelia noticed she was making a statement, not asking a question. And the moment she said it she felt the truth of it.
“Yes!” exclaimed the girl.
Amelia’s cheeks flushed slightly as a word popped into her mind. “Is your name… Shanti?” she said, somewhat stunned that she would even say such a thing.
The girl smiled broadly and nodded.
Amelia looked excitedly back and forth between Matthew and Shanti, and said, “how do I know this?”
“I’m not getting this at all,” said Matthew, somewhat perplexed and feeling like a backseat passenger who couldn’t quite see the view from his window.
“In this dimension you can create that you know… or that you don’t know…” said Shanti. “Actually, the same is true on the dimension that you’ve just come from – there’s just less density here… so it’s easier to see. The trick is to stay out of your analytical mind and be willing to see beyond what appears in front of you.
“Try it, Matthew,” said Shanti with a kind, yet penetrating gaze. Then, smiling, she added, “If you did know why you’re here, what would the answer be? Don’t think like a scientist… think like a painter… a modern artist. Close your eyes and imagine creating a painting in your mind… something new and fresh. What do you see?”
Matthew closed his eyes and said, “Well… it’s not just one picture, it’s… I don’t know… it seems fluid. It’s like images that are flowing… the way a movie flows, but it’s different because the images are connected all at the same time. It’s like standing in the middle of a hologram, but it’s more than looking around at a three dimensional world… it feels like layers upon layers… time and space that seem to have no connection, and yet it’s all deeply connected.”
Although it seemed like a simple, imaginative game Matthew was playing, he knew there was an underlying truth in what he was seeing and feeling, yet words were wholly inadequate.
Matthew opened his eyes. Looking at Amelia he immediately realized he might as well be trying to describe a symphony to a person who had never heard a sound.
Matthew tried to think of words that might help her understand. Yet for some reason, despite all that was happening, all that he was trying awkwardly to express, he was stopped struck by her beauty. It was as if the moment was frozen and his mind was taking a living picture: Her golden hair gently blowing in the breeze, her eyes more blue than he had noticed before, and her face alight with a keen desire to grasp something impossible to fully comprehend.
But it was more than her physical beauty that struck him. It was an awareness: A vivid impression one might try to capture, all the while knowing there are no words or images that can adequately express the feeling of that moment – or the fact that you are an integral part of it, because the moment would not exist without you.
As if suddenly awakening from a trance, Matthew realized he’d been staring at Amelia. Color instantly rose in his cheeks. Feeling somewhat awkward, and at the same time relieved that Amelia didn’t know what he’d been thinking, he quickly recovered and said, “Uh… imagine a painting by Michelangelo. On the surface is one image, but in fact, he painted many paintings, one on top of the other… different images, different scenes, different people. But the one constant is Michelangelo himself.
“And what I’m seeing… or feeling… is like layers of images from different times in history… and there’s something… something here that connects all of these images. I just can’t put my finger on it.”
What you’re seeing doesn’t fit into your current belief system,” said Shanti softly. “It doesn’t make sense if you think in terms of possible and impossible. If you will let go of ‘yes or no’ and think ‘maybe’… what do you think you’re seeing?”
Matthew’s face relaxed, then brightened. “Past lives… I’m seeing past lives that I’ve lived,” he said definitively. “The connection is that I know every image I’m seeing… because I’ve been there.”
Though it was a completely foreign way of thinking for him, he knew, without question the accuracy of what he was seeing and feeling. “But what’s the purpose of seeing past lives?” Matthew asked. “We need to get back to our own lives.”
“You have to know where you’ve been, to understand where you’re going,” said Shanti. “You both chose this transition point because in this dimension you can focus on what you need and bring it instantly into reality.
“You see, you are both dead and not-dead at the same time. You were right, Matthew, there are membranes between the dimensions… between parallel worlds. And it’s not too late for both of you to slip back into your own world. But there’s a reason you’ve come to this choice point together… and that you’re trying to return together as well.
“It has to do with other lifetimes the two of you have shared,” said Shanti enigmatically. “In this dimension, you can be very specific and intend to know what happened in only your shared lifetimes – it will still be a lot of information, but the answers are definitely there, between the two of you... whether you know it or not. You’ll ultimately be able to put it all together.
“I don’t have much time left with you. So before you decide whether or not you want to believe me – there are some things you need to know,” said Shanti patiently. “You both agreed, before you were born, that you would either retrieve the information from your shared lifetimes, or you would not return to your own world – because neither of you want to live out your lifetime without being able to do what you came to accomplish.”
“In order to move from this world back into your own… there’s a resonant frequency that will allow you to pass through the membrane between the worlds. Your resonant frequency is controlled by how you feel. It’s the energy that radiates from you, whether it’s positive or negative. So it’s not a matter of thinking you want to be in the third dimension… You have to feel your way back into it,” said Shanti. “But remember, if you don’t retrieve the information… if you don’t carry the necessary memories – you won’t be allowed back into your world. You’ll simply go on from here…”
At that moment waves of shimmering golden light began to dance all around Shanti. As this luminous energy intensified, Shanti’s appearance became more and more transparent until she finally disappeared before their eyes.
Chapter 4
In stunned silence Amelia and Matthew stared at the place where Shanti had been standing just moments before.
“You’ll simply go on from here…? What does that mean?” said Amelia, beside herself. “She’s telling us that if we don’t get it right… we’re dead… isn’t she?”
Matthew shook his head, deep in thought. “I guess all we can do is try and remember…” he said, his words falling away into the hopelessness he felt inside.
Nothing had changed and yet everything changed in that moment. The girl hadn’t died, they simply couldn’t see her anymore; yet Amelia had never experienced such a profound sense of loss. It was as if she had been set adrift in a strange sea, but survival was not the issue. There was no doubt she would survive – maybe even forever. But what did it mean to be alive if she could never go back home or see her parents or friends again? What were the chances that she and Matthew would be able remember a series of shared past-lives and then feel their way through some nebulous membrane back to their own dimension?
Looking into Matthew’s eyes, the thought of never returning home turned into an unfathomable, aching sadness. She tried to blink back the tears welling up in her eyes. Matthew gathered her into a strong embrace and whispered, “We’ll get through this, Amelia…I know we will,” he added with quiet conviction.
At last they sat down next to the creek on a large, flat rock dappled in sunlight. They weren’t hungry or thirsty or tired, but it was hard to tell if this was because they were in a parallel world or if it was because they were too upset to feel those things. They both agreed that neither one of them really understood what Shanti was talking about, let alone whether or not it was true. She hadn’t explained how they were to go about accessing their past lives. So they decided the only sensible thing was to stay next to the creek and see if someone else would come along … hopefully someone more helpful.
Amelia lay on her back listening to the creek, watching clouds peacefully drifting by. Time stood still – or maybe time no longer existed – if it had ever existed in the first place.
Nothing could explain the events that had just played through her mind. No matter where she focused or what she thought, no matter how much she tried to understand what had happened, a simple refrain wove in and out of her thoughts, There is no death. There’s only life. Life has a life of its own.
Until this moment Amelia felt like a fierce warrior, charged with emotion – a wild, tempestuous storm boiling in her, ready to attack. Who were these people? What right did they have to take her life away? Her heart raged and rumbled as hot, angry tears fled down her cheeks.
But the universe is infinitely patient. And sooner or later a wave of truth pulses wordlessly in the silence of space and time: How long can you be at war with yourself?
In the midst of her tears Amelia burst out laughing as these words flowed through her mind. She was relieved, even comforted to give up the fight. And as her mind let go of its quest to know why and how and who to blame, a current of energy surged through her body.
Amelia sat up and said with renewed hope, “Maybe Shanti did tell us how to access our past lives! She said, …in this dimension you can focus on what you need and bring it instantly into reality.”
Matthew thought for a moment and said, “Let’s try it.” He stuck his hand out, palm up and added, “I need an apple.”
Nothing happened.
“Hmm. I guess that doesn’t really work after all.”
“But do you really need an apple? Are you hungry?”
“Well, no. I was just experimenting.”
“Well then you’re thinking, not feeling. You can’t feel the need for food if you’re not hungry. But the thing we do feel is the need to go home.”
“But Shanti said we can’t return to our world without the memories from our shared lifetimes.”
“Exactly! Then all we should have to do is feel the need to know our shared past-lives so we can go home,” said Amelia smiling enthusiastically. “The memories should just come to us.”
“IF she’s telling us the truth,” said Matthew skeptically. “And IF this really is a world where we can focus on what we need and bring it instantly into reality.”
“Well, if she’s not telling us the truth – then we’ll know it, because the memories won’t come back to us and at least that will put an end to whether or not she’s telling the truth!” said Amelia triumphantly. “Then we can make other plans, or at least try to find someone to help us.”
“Okay… let’s do it,” said Matthew, not expecting anything to happen, but feeling relieved to be doing something.
Matthew sat on a grassy spot next to the creek and Amelia sat next to him, then they both decided that lying down might be easier. Amelia felt a bit nervous about what might happen – or more, specifically, what probably wouldn’t happen as she closed her eyes and tried to genuinely feel her desire to go back in time and remember her past lives with Matthew.
As she lay in the soft grass lining the creek, the bright desert sun saturating her eyelids gradually transmuted into pure darkness. Amelia thought it would take some practice to focus on her forgotten memories, but instead she felt a light, floating sensation separate her essential self from her body. As she floated higher and higher, an image emerged of Matthew lying beside her next to the creek… her body the conduit for something beyond her comprehension. Was some part of her still there in her body, or was all of her consciousness now contained in her ‘second-self’ floating above the Earth…if indeed, it was still called Earth in a parallel world.
It was a fascinating, peculiar feeling, like the feeling of being almost asleep and starting to dream, yet still having the awareness of being awake. Then all at once Amelia felt her second-self being magnetically drawn away from the image of herself and far out into the cosmos, her sense of self blurring as she shot through galaxies, stars hurtling past as streaks of light. An indefinable, suffocating, dark presence clawed at her mind. Amelia couldn’t speak, she could hardly breathe, and when at last she found her voice and screamed, no sound was forthcoming.
Frantically she tried to figure out what she had done wrong, and how could she go back to where she had been only moments ago. But it was beyond her power to change. She was completely abandoned far beyond the edge of creation, in a space filled only with unmet potential and dark voices whispering into her mind; unwelcoming to a being from the physical.
A sudden terror seized her as the turbulent river of lights gave way to an unsettling calm that fell over the rush, her every thought now echoing distinctly in the darkness of eternity. As if she’d suddenly entered the eerie silence of a river chute masking the waterfall to come, everything seemed serene. Yet, there was a sound, unheard by human ears, but vibrating all the same - barely perceptible as anything more than a premonition reverberating in the depths of consciousness – unnoticeable amidst the chatter of the mind.
Amelia’s body stopped moving. Like a nightmare made real, a chilling mist enshrouded her, creeping into her mind freezing her thoughts instantly. Some distant part of Amelia knew she needed to stay calm, but she could only feel heart-pounding, gut-wrenching terror – and the certainty there was no way back from where she was going.
Before her a small moon, glimmered brightly in the reflected light of a nearby star. All was serene and peaceful, but a silent rumbling in her mind told her that things were not as they seemed. A small moon seemed to be drifting in front of her, like a feather being gently blown across a lake until it was swallowed whole by a dense, gossamer blackness shimmering before her.
Trembling with fear, Amelia felt herself moving relentlessly once more, toward the shadowy graveyard yawning before her, the spectral darkness consuming Amelia’s mind even before it could devour her body. But suddenly, as if the wind was blowing from a different direction, Amelia felt herself moving away from the abyss and then falling into darkness, a feeling of vertigo causing her to feel as if she was spinning headfirst like Alice plummeting down a cosmic rabbit hole at lightning speed.
All at once, Amelia felt she was nothing. Not as if she didn’t exist – it was more like the nothing that causes everything to make sense. Like the space between written words, or the nothing in music – the silence, the momentary pause that allows creative genius to shine. She was not breathing. It was as if the universe had inhaled her and she was the nothing between the in-breath and the out-breath. How long she was in this place she would never know; without matter and space there is no time. Yet from the midst of nothingness and timelessness a sensation began to emerge.
She first became aware of the scent of pine, and though she had never smelled this particular fragrance in her current lifetime – she instantly knew she was in a Siberian cedar forest. Her eyes slowly opened to a steely gray sky still marked with the waning light of last night’s stars, like softly glowing pin-pricks in a domed carnival tent. Cotton-candy clouds, pink in the reflected light of the predawn sun, infused the forest glade with a tender glow. Amelia was on a soft, fragrant cushion of pine needles beneath massive, ancient trees that towered over her, but she wasn’t alone. All around her young men were sleeping in this woodland world, wrapped in capes to ward off the crisp night air.
As she reached up to push her hair away from her eyes she realized her hair was cropped short, and she knew she was a woman pretending to be a man. All at once, Amelia realized she wasn’t remembering a past-life, she was actually in it; having the full experience, all the while knowing that part of her was still lying next to Matthew by the creek.
But here she was, suddenly inside a body she knew had been hers in a past life, looking out through eyes that had been hers in that lifetime. She even knew her name was Sasha, but she couldn’t quite understand how all the pieces fit together. Were they somehow sharing space? Did Sasha feel slightly possessed by her sudden entrance?
Even as these questions were going through her mind, she knew the answer. She’d been called back by Sasha – Amelia’s past self – to this very moment.
Chapter 5
The only way to begin to understand what was happening to Amelia is to imagine that, not just in your current life, but throughout time, space and dimensions, you lose parts of yourself; either because you’ve unconsciously given your energy away, often to someone you deeply love, or a part of you has been taken from you.
These missing parts are often lost through shock, feelings of betrayal, or intense grief. Not only in the past, but because past and future are happening all at once, these soul fragments can be lost in the future as well. (Most people feel at some time or another that something is missing in their lives; what they don’t realize is that the missing part is more often than not a part of themselves.)
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