FPM AHOY
by
Anindya Basu
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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PUBLISHED BY:
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FPM Ahoy
Copyright © 2010 by Anindya Basu
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Writer’s Note
This is a selection from my book ‘The Final War – Version 3.0’.
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FPM AHOY
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CHAPTER 1
(As narrated to Vijay and Sumantro in the presence of Leena.)
Sharbani had one elder aunt from her father’s side and a younger aunt from her mother’s side. The first one was an extremely fucking prudish moralist woman. (Who now on will be referred to as FPM, as her’s is not an isolated case but representative of a wide class of women.)
When Sharbani was 8 years old and her brother Shubhodeep 6 years old, FPM had come visiting with her husband, say HPH (hen pecked husband) and her son Ratan, 10 and her daughter Mina, 5 for a week-long stay. 5 minutes after entering the drawing room, she started pouring her moral preachings on Sharbani’s father Aditya. “How could you take that picture of your own daughter and worse frame it and hang it up in your drawing room for all and sundry to see?”
The above-mentioned offensive picture showed the joyous, wet, smiling Sharbani, 5 and Shubhodeep, 3 in their birthday-suits, holding hands and standing together in their big, red bathtub. She was angry only due to the nakedness of little Sharbani and the nakedness of little Shubhodeep had not mattered in the least to her as further evinced when she turned her ire on Sharbani’s mother. “How could you let your husband take a picture of your naked daughter?”
Aditya and Ahana, a liberal couple, firmly and gently dismissed her moralist outpourings. Firmly rebuffed, a grumbling FPM turned her ire on HPH. “That Aditya may be a bad influence on you. If I ever catch you taking a picture of a naked Mina, first I will tear out the film roll, then I will break the camera over your head.”
The look on HPH’s face seemed to suggest FPM had just broken the camera on his head.
The fun had only begun. It was about noontime. Both Shubhodeep and Sharbani had taken their baths. Mina was yet to take her’s and Ratan’s mother was bathing him in the big luxurious marbled bathroom. FPM suddenly asked them to come quickly and ordered her husband to bring his camera immediately. HPH with his camera, Sharbani and Shubhodeep all three together went off. Mina in her undy and underfrock (sleeveless white frock worn as undergarment) was standing by the open door. HPH, Sharbani dressed similar to Mina, and Shubhodeep in his undy and vest, found a dripping wet Ratan, mother-naked, with a red mug in his right hand and a red bucket between his legs, with a bemused look on his face. His mother gushed to his father, “Look how cute our son is looking, and even cuter wee little thing.”
HPH, who knew what he had to do, clicked twice. After drying Ratan with a towel and powdering him, FPM ordered Ratan to go and sit in the big sofa in the drawing room quietly, in the state he was. After finding Ratan in that state, Ahana remonstrated with FPM. FPM shrugged off her words with the logic, “Little boys just love roaming about in nothing at all.”
In the meantime little Mina had taken off her underfrock and undy in anticipation of her impending bath, while watching HPH and Shubhodeep enjoying a game of carom. A furious FPM almost ran to the bathroom, dragging little naked Mina with her right hand, Mina’s discarded undergarments in her left hand. After closing the door, with her right index finger pointing at Mina, she started. “You girl, listen carefully, never take off your undy in front of males, not even your own father, let alone your little elder brother. For, are not all males potential dirtybads?”
“Dirtybad?” little Mina queried.
“Dirtybad is a horrible person who does horrible things to disobedient little girls, who take off their undies in front of males. Come to think of it, you must not even take off your underfrock. And listen further. Two years from now you will become a big girl and you will not roam about only in your under frock as you do now. You will always keep your frock on and never take it off with any males nearby. Got that into your head?”
A frightened little Mina nodded perceptively.
It was to get funnier still. In the evening, the two families were going out for shopping and eating out, according to a pre-planned arrangement. FPM, Ahana, Ratan, Sharbani, Shubhodeep, Mina were closeted in Aditya and Ahana’s large bedroom to deck themselves up for the impending outing. Ratan by then had on a vest and halfpant. FPM ordered Ratan and Shubhodeep to dress up first. Shubhodeep put on a half shirt and trousers over his undy, discarding the vest. Ratan pulled off his halfpant to reveal all, put on a full shirt and zipped up his trousers. Ahana pointed out to FPM the dangers of a little boy zipping up his trousers without an undy below. A visibly flustered FPM mumbled, “I have been thinking of buying Ratan a set of undies for the past two months but I keep on forgetting in the daily hassles of household work. That husband of mine, a good-for-nothing, I have to face all the troubles inside my home, even outside my home. I will buy Ratan a set of undies immediately on reaching home, after taking leave from you.”
She then ordered Ratan and Shubhodeep out of the room. An obedient little Ratan complied. A puzzled Shubhodeep stayed on. For, previously he had never been ordered out of the room while his mother and sister were changing.
FPM placed her hands on Shubhodeep’s shoulders. “Look dearie, it is highly improper and indecent for males to watch while girls are changing their clothes. Aren’t you a good little boy? Now, just you run off.”
A still puzzled Shubhodeep, wondering whether it was not highly improper and indecent for Ma, Didi, Pishi and Mina to watch while he and RatanDa were changing their clothes, slowly sauntered out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Sharbani, who too was puzzled as to why RatanDa and Bhai were sent out of the room and deciding to quiz Ma about it later, took off her frock and under frock and started prettying herself up before the mirror. FPM pulled off Mina’s under frock and started powdering her body, while Ahana, who was resigned to FPM’s ways and had decided not to get into a tiff with her and spoil the festive mood, in her bra and petticoat stood waiting for her daughter to release the mirror. FPM was about to pull Mina’s undy down to powder the region hidden by the undy, when little Mina clung on to her undy and began moaning and cringing. “Dearie, what has happened? Are you feeling unwell?”
Little Mina pointed her head at the slightly open door. “They may be watching. Dirtybad will come.”
FPM got up from the bed and closed the door shut. Then she again opened the door just enough to put her head out of the door, and check whether indeed Ratan and Shubhodeep were nearby, trying to peep inside. Satisfied, she closed the door firmly and secured the lock. “Don’t worry anymore, nobody can be watching now.”
The next day too had its share of fun. FPM, Ratan, Shubhodeep, Sharbani, Mina, Ahana were all asleep in Aditya and Ahana’s bedroom, on the large bed, which had been cranked up to double its previous size. Aditya and HPH were in Sharbani and Shubhodeep’s smaller bedroom. It was 6:30 AM. FPM woke up first. Seeing the dials on the large Tiger clock on the wall, which was supposed to growl at 7:00 AM to wake them up, she immediately went to the other side and stretched her hand over Mina and shook her to wake her up. “Wake up. It’s 6:30 already.”
Mina climbed over Ahana, who was trying to stifle a yawn. FPM took Mina to the bathroom with a fresh set of clothes. Mina came out after being washed and changed by FPM. Ratan went inside and after being washed and changed by FPM came out of the bathroom stark naked. In that state he waited for his mother to finish her washing and changing. After keeping a naked Ratan standing for 15 minutes, FPM came out and put on a fresh set of clothes on him. Shubhodeep in the meanwhile had woken up. He had gone to the bathroom in the smaller room. As FPM was dressing Ratan, Shubhodeep came into the room with a wet towel around his waist. As he tried to put on his fresh underpant, FPM let loose. “You boy, don’t unnecessarily put on your dry underpant under that wet towel and wet it. Just take off your towel and put on your dry underpant.”
Shubhodeep ignored FPM and put on his fresh underpant in double quick time. FPM was quite angered. “Would the sky have fallen over your head if you had taken off your wet towel and I had seen your little thing?”
Ahana, who had woken up, came to Shubhodeep’s rescue. “Didi let it pass. Shubho feels shame in taking off his underpant before outsiders and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”
FPM would not have let Ahana have the last word, but just then HPH came into the room to ask his wife where she had kept his shaving set. With a scowl on her face, FPM followed her husband out of the room. Saving both Shubhodeep and Ahana from a lengthy lecture ‘Why little boys should have no hesitation in taking off all their clothes before all and sundry, anytime, anywhere’.
(Sharbani was consulting her old diary time and again. She had this habit of keeping a diary from a very young age. “This happened when Ma asked Baba to sponge bathe me.”)
Sharbani was running a temperature, though nothing serious. Ahana asked her to skip bath for that day. She then asked Aditya to take care of Sharbani before he went out for the day to day affairs of his family business. A curious FPM asked Ahana what she meant. Ahana replied, “Yes, whenever the children fall sick, it is Aditya who sponge bathes them. The children are at their best behaviour when under the care of their father.”
FPM was appalled. “What?! You let your husband bathe your daughter. You mean, he takes off her clothes and makes her naked and puts his hand all over her body.”
Ahana shrugged her off. “So what? Aditya is Sharbani’s father, isn’t he? Both parents should have equal duties, obligations, responsibilities towards their children. And if there is nothing for boy children to be ashamed in being naked in front of their mothers, there is no reason at all why girl children should be ashamed to be naked in front of their fathers?”
FPM could but simply gulp at Ahana’s logic, knowing it was virtually impossible to change her stand. In her mind, she made mincemeat of both Aditya and Ahana. She also promised in her mind to give a firm warning to her good-for-nothing husband in this regard the next time she got hold of him. Who knows he may be tempted by that Aditya’s example and strip Mina naked in her absence and… An enraged FPM could not think anymore. It was just as well that at Shubhodeep’s request HPH had agreed to umpire a cricket match involving Shubhodeep and his friends in the neighbouring housing estate’s indoor arena, or FPM would have blasted him to pieces. Nine times out of ten she took it out on the poor man for imaginary offences, offences he would not dare commit in his wildest dreams.
(“This occurred when Bhai was teased by Pishi for not taking off his towel to get oiled by Ma.”)
Ahana was oiling Shubhodeep. FPM said, “Why does your son need a towel? Unnecessarily soiling the towel. Shubho, why don’t you take off the towel and save your mother unnecessary trouble. Look, I am like a mother to you. You should not have any sense of shame before me. To tell the truth, boys of your age should not have any shame before anybody, not only relatives but also strangers. You should learn from the example set by your elder brother.”
Ahana smilingly desisted FPM from turning Shubhodeep into a younger version of Ratan. “We should not differentiate between our sons and daughters in any matter. If we do, then we have no right to talk of equality between men and women.”
A querulous FPM refused to give in. “Do you mean to say boys and girls should have the same degree of shame?”
Ahana said, “Well, why not?”
FPM turned with a smile curled on her lips, thinking, “That Shubhodeep will grow up to be a girly, sissy boy, what with his mother’s lessons. He will not find any girl to marry him. On the other hand, my Ratan, he will grow up to be a manly, macho boy, thanks to my lessons. Girls will simply fall over him.” FPM was really pleased thinking of Shubhodeep’s future plight and her son’s glorious future.
(“This happened when that famous duet song by Shalmal Shankar & Mohini Murchhana was shown on TV.”)
The Bollywood blockbuster Dil Kho Jaye To Pyar Mil Jaye (Lose Your Heart To Find Your Love) which had run into censor troubles a year ago was the Saturday evening’s special fare on BTV. Incidentally the censors and the moral guardians had to beat a hasty retreat in the face of public outrage when they had tried to ban the film on grounds of female nudity. That was because the people refused to be denied watching a film that had won the award for the best film at three international film festivals, just because of some stupid, outdated laws framed by self-appointed moral guardians of society.
Ten minutes into the film, came that famous song-and-dance sequence, which was the reason the film had run into censor trouble and moral muck. FPM, who knew of that scene from film magazines, had been apprehensive from the beginning. She was hoping the scene had been censored. But her fond hopes were soon dashed to the ground. The worst of her fears came true. The hero Shalmal Shankar and heroine Mohini Murchhana, identically dressed, topless in G-strings, were seen floating towards each other on jetpads, in the golden waters of a bubbling, shimmering, frothy swimming pool. An unintelligible sound came out from FPM’s mouth. But she got over shock almost instantly and recovering her senses, barked her order at Ratan and Shubhodeep, directed more towards the latter, since the obedient Ratan was looking downwards, quite aware even at this age of what was good for him and what was bad for him. “Little dears, please go off the room. Good little boys should not watch such scenes. Girls like this one, no sense of any dignity whatsoever, no sense of honour, no shame at all in parading her body before all and sundry, no self-respect, no culture, no embarrassment, no remorse, no regret, throwing all her modesty to the winds, spoiling little boys, chewing out their moral senses, putting indecent thoughts in their innocent heads, turning the heads of all menfolk, provoking them into indecent behaviour with women outside their homes and who can blame them if they look upon all women as women of bad character.”
Shubhodeep, who had not found anything wrong with either Shalmal and Mohini’s beautiful bodies, including the latter’s glorious, firm honey coloured breasts, guessed correctly that FPM had found nothing wrong with Shalmal’s bare body, but it was Mohini’s bare body which had caused this tumultuous outburst. FPM would have gone on and on with her haranguing, what with her teeth gnashing about, eyes on fire, face and ears reddened but for the surprise that totally ignoring her orders — that is not the obedient Ratan, who had complied with her order as soon as it had dropped from her mouth — Shubhodeep, along with Ahana, Sharbani, Mina was enjoying the indecent for males but alright for females song-and-dance sequence.
In fact Shubhodeep, fearful of FPM’s outburst almost made up his mind to follow Ratan out of the room but Sharbani held him back and Ahana compounded the felony by pulling him onto her lap.
Ahana tried to make up for the gross impropriety Shubhodeep had committed, and which had been doubled by Sharbani and quadrupled by herself. “Look Didi, there is nothing shameful about female bodies and we must not instil an idea in their little heads from childhood itself that a female body is an object full of sin.”
The only thing FPM could do was to pray silently to Mother Earth to open up and swallow her.
(“Now we’ll come to a scene on the third day, where RatanDa was ordered by Pishi to roam about naked, but Mina was admonished by her for taking off only the underfrock.”)
The third day too FPM was in full form. It was a particularly hot and humid day. The time was about 10 AM. FPM said to Ratan, “It’s so sweltering hot. Take off your vest, better still, take off your pant too. Oh, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, aren’t you a boy?”
The ever-obedient Ratan was soon in his birthday-suit. Following her elder brother’s example, Mina too took off her under frock and was about to take off her undy when she remembered FPM’s warning that dirtybad could come and do all sorts of bad things to her if she took off her undy and pulled off her hands in the nick of time. FPM, when she saw Mina with her underfrock in her hands, pounced on her. “Who asked you to take off your underfrock?”
Mina whimpered that she was feeling hot.
“So what if it is hot? It’s not that hot that you have to take off your underfrock. Remember, the next time I see you repeating the indecency, I will box your ears and slap you resoundingly.”
(“Some time later, Pishi was dumbfounded when she heard that Ma was about to take a bath along with me & Bhai.”)
FPM was in a state of gigantic shock when she learnt that this was not an isolated case and once every week, Ahana took a bath along with her children. When she asked Ahana if she really took off all her clothes before Shubhodeep in the bathroom, Ahana replied with a logic that was impossible for even FPM to repudiate. “Surely Didi, you must know that in the Hindu scriptures it says that a woman should have no shame in being naked before own husband and children.”
FPM could only grumble to herself. “That Ahana must be surely lying to cover up her shamelessness. That must be it, she has distorted the facts. In the scriptures it must have been written that a woman can be naked only in front of her husband and female children. Oh, I can not even imagine this. Ahana taking off all her clothes before Shubhodeep. Shubhodeep watching every part of his mother’s body. Aagh!”
(“In the evening, we found Pishi enjoying the antics of Naga sadhus in India News.”) It was the third evening. Seated on the shape-shifting sofa in the drawing room, FPM was enjoying the antics of Naga sadhus in the weekly India News. The India News had done a cover story on the Kumbha Mela with vivid shots of Naga sadhus and their antics. FPM just could not take her eyes of the candid photo shots. Just then Mina and Sharbani came into the room. FPM asked them both to sit on either side of her. Mina asked innocently, “Ma, do even big boys enjoy roaming about naked like little boys?”
FPM giggled. “Hee hee, you’re right. Look, real, macho men are never ashamed to flaunt about their things. It is a long-standing tradition of our country.”
FPM’s enjoyment came to a screeching halt when on turning the page she came across shots of a few foreign women who emulating the Naga sadhus were roaming about in the altogether (their vital regions blackened out). FPM gnashed her teeth. “Grrr! How dare they print the pictures of naked women? The dirty rascals, the filthy scoundrels, don’t they have mothers and sisters at home? And these foreign women. Throwing all sense of shame and modesty to the winds. Women of loose morals, bad character. Trying to corrupt our womenfolk.”
Sharbani asked, “Pishi, why shouldn’t big girls enjoy roaming about naked like big boys?”
FPM was shocked. “My goodness! Whoever put such an abominable idea in your little head? You must know that while for men shame is something they should not have at all, for women modesty is like their ornaments. Real women always hold modesty as the virtue dearest to their hearts. All our religious scriptures say so.”
Amidst FPM’s outburst, Shubhodeep sauntered in. FPM whispered, “Quick, let me hide the magazine. He’s such a pure, innocent little boy. We must not impurify him, spoil his innocence by letting him see the dirty pictures of these naked women.” And thus Shubhodeep’s purity and innocence were preserved.
(“This incident was on the fourth day when the children of our neighbouring housing estate took off their clothes and danced in the rain.”)
It was the fourth day. Once again FPM’s contrasting, hypocritical views on male nudity and female nudity was shown up in glaring light. The long spell of dry, hot weather had added to the agony of FPM, who was still burning from last evening’s perceived humiliation. It came as a great relief to everyone around when an abrupt, unexpected shower cooled everything down especially FPM’s internal temperature. FPM’s heart was further gladdened by a sight that was unfolding on the neighbouring housing estate’s sprawling green meadow.
Four little boys aged between six and eight, obviously delighted at the sudden shower after a long hot spell, had come out of their flats after taking off all their clothes and were dancing in the rain. FPM squealed like a little girl. “Oh, look at those little boys dancing naked in the rain. Look at their wee little things dancing along. Hee hee hee hee.”
FPM was really enjoying herself. But she had forgotten that good things in life do not last for long. All of a sudden her hee hee came to a screeching halt and she looked like as if she had just swallowed a bumble-bee. The cause of her discomfort was not hard to discover. Three little girls, no doubt encouraged and excited by their male counterparts’ playful enjoyment and more than willing to grab their share of the fun, had come out to join the little boys, without a single stitch on their bodies. FPM instantly exploded at the little girls’ choice of clothes even though it was identical to that of the little boys. “I would like to give a piece of my mind to those girls’ parents, allowing such big girls to come out naked out of their homes.”
Incidentally the so-called big girls were of the same or less age than the so-called little boys. FPM continued her diatribe against her invisible, absconding adversaries.
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CHAPTER TWO
(“ Now I will tell you about the funny incidents that took place when we went to the to Mermaid Aquatic Garden.”)
On the fifth day of the visit, the two families decided to have an outing at the Mermaid Aquatic Garden. True to her form, FPM started hitting fours and sixes as soon as their group landed inside the aquatic garden. Some women in one-piece swimsuits and bikinis were strolling in the green park. “Look at the shameless hussies, naked in those clothes.” She would have continued but for the fact that her teeth were gnashing about as if chewing to pieces those shameless hussies.
Aditya and HPH went along to the male changers. Ahana, FPM and the children went along to the female changers, which also allowed male children up to 10.
Once inside the spacious corridor outside the changing rooms, dotted with fountains, Sharbani and Mina had barely taken of their frocks when an ever-alert FPM pointed her finger at them. “Why are you two taking off your frocks?”
Sharbani wanted to say something but FPM anticipated her probable reply. “So what if there are underfrocks beneath (not to mention the undies). Can’t you see, there are boys and men all around?”
This time round Sharbani managed to get a few words in. “Don’t worry Pishi, Ma has brought along swimming costumes for all us children.”
FPM said firmly, “No, there is no need to wear those swimming costumes. You must bathe and swim everything with all our clothes on just as I and your mother are going to do. I have spare clothes for all the females and big towels to change our wet clothes.”
Sharbani said, “But Pishi…”
FPM retorted without allowing her to complete her argument. “Look Sharbani, when I am around, I will not allow such vulgarities.”
At a wink from Ahana, Sharbani reluctantly agreed to FPM’s whims. “Alright Pishi, it’s whatever you say.”
FPM smiled broadly. “Now, that’s a good girl.”
A satisfied FPM turned her attention towards the males. “Ratan, take off your clothes and leave them inside this bag.” In two minutes flat, the bag had Ratan’s clothes and Ratan stood in the glory of his nakedness. Ahana said, “Didi I have got an extra swimming pant for Ratan.”
FPM waved her away with her irrefutable, undislodgable logic. “No, Ahana there is no need for a swimming pant. Do little boys ever need to bathe wearing anything?”
Ahana mildly suggested that it might not be proper for Ratan to splash about in the pool, wearing nothing at all, in full public view.
FPM refused to see logic. “So what if it’s in full public view? We must not make him overtly conscious about his nakedness from this age.”
She added with a mild touch of sarcasm to her voice, “Let your Shubho wear his swimming pant. He is too full of modesty.”
Then she ordered Shubhodeep, “Shubho, take off your clothes and put them here, before putting on your swimming pant.” Shubhodeep took off his shirt and halfpant. He wanted a towel to wrap around his undy before changing into his swimming pant.
FPM snorted. “Why do you need a towel? Take off your undy and put on your swimming pant.”
Shubhodeep said, “Alright, let me take a towel out from the bag myself.” A thwarted FPM was forced to take out a towel from her bag and hand it over to Shubhodeep.
After Shubhodeep had had his way, FPM started grumbling for no reason at all, as if handing Shubhodeep a towel had caused her a huge amount of trouble. “You must always cause hassles. It seems that your mother has made you so much full of shame like a girl from this little age. Look at your RatanDa, he has no false sense of modesty, like you. He can take off his clothes in front of everybody. Whereas you always need a towel when changing into a new undy, let alone roaming about without an undy. You must know that it is good for a little boy’s health to take off all his clothes and stay naked for some period of time.”
FPM would have continued with her lecture to Shubhodeep on the topic of ‘The benefits that accrue to obedient little boys who take off all their clothes and stay naked for some period of time’ but just then she chanced on a little girl about five years of age romping naked happily. FPM pounced on her. “You wicked girl, why are you roaming about in nothing at all like boys?”
The smiling little girl pointed at Ratan, who was double her age. “That Dada is also standing, wearing nothing.”
Typically, FPM refused to see logic. “He is a boy. Boys can roam in nothing at all. But you are a good girl, aren’t you? You must always keep yourself covered.”
FPM would have continued with her uncalled for and most likely to be unheeded advice, but the bemused little girl ran off. FPM turned her ire on the little girl’s mother, who fortunately was nowhere in sight. “I would like to give a piece of my mind to that girl’s mother, allowing such a big girl to roam about naked.”
Ahana had thought of bringing along her new blue bikini but had discarded the idea at the last moment knowing that FPM would be certain to create a hullabaloo over her wearing a bikini. She was wary of a tiff in public with FPM and decided that prudence was the better part of valour, even if she felt patently uncomfortable at the thought of bathing with all her clothes on even if they were shirt and trousers unlike the saree and blouse of FPM.
The four children had joined other children who were having their fun inside the fountain rooms, but only after Ahana had extracted a promise from them that they would not take more than fifteen minutes. After all they could not keep Aditya and HPH waiting for too long.
FPM was still more shocked to see girls in monokinis and women in bikinis coming out of changing rooms. Knowing very well she could not take on such a lot of shameless persons all by herself, disconsolately muttering to herself, FPM wandered off to a corner.
A girl of about twelve, impatient on seeing the queues to the changing rooms, and seeing that there was nobody but a middle-aged woman (FPM looked 10 years more than her age) in sight, started changing before FPM. In a topless condition, she was about to take off her panty, when she was frightened by a shout. A snarling FPM had pounced on her. “You shameless girl. Taking off all your clothes before me. So what, if I am a woman? Go, go to the bathroom (sic.) and change.” The frightened girl, picking up her discarded clothes and swimsuit, ran away.
Aditya was surprised at Ratan’s choice of dress but HPH had a look of hopeless resignation on his face. He knew very well if he dared utter a word against his wife, he would be turned into HBH (Hen Bashed Husband) or HSH (Hen Scratched Husband) or HTH (Hen Thrashed Husband) or HWH (Hen Whipped Husband) from HPH. The eight of them were soon splashing about in the main water tank. While seven were enjoying themselves to their hearts’ content, the eighth one was busy in rolling her red, fiery eyes at scantily dressed females all around. “Just which kind of menfolk they have as their husbands and fathers? Letting their wives and daughters bathing naked in public. Eunuchs, I would say the whole lot of them.”
Just then she spotted HPH stealing surreptitious glances at a group of bikini-clad women. With an iron hand, she grasped hold of HPH’s shoulder. “Just what do you think, you are doing, you irresponsible man? Enjoying the nakedness of those shameless females? Instead of keeping an eye on the children. Just tell me what will happen if they drown?” Nobody dared tell FPM that it was impossible for anyone to drown.
FPM kept on at it, though most likely she was the only listener to her own rumblings. “This is the reason, only reason why crimes against women are on the rise. They have turned themselves into commodities before males. They put their bodies on display before males. They are portraying themselves in a negative light before males. They allow their obscene pictures to be printed in magazines and newspapers. In films and serials and advertisements they parade their bodies in the scantiest of clothes. They put on such revealing dresses only to tempt, tease and excite males. Who can blame males if they indulge in eve-teasings, molestations, rapes? They cannot be faulted for getting excited at the sight of almost naked women prancing in public. And in their excitement if they start thinking that all women are women of easy virtue, is it their fault? I wonder why these women cannot be arrested under that Indecent Representation of Women law or any such other law. Oh, those in power are also males. They too enjoy women roaming in public in almost nothing at all. That is the reason they will not make any law to prevent shameless women as these from wearing dirty, obscene dresses in public.”
Ahana was quite outraged at FPM’s vilification of women who exercised the freedom to dress as they liked like men did and far more at her typical justification of male excesses and was about to give her a good piece of her mind but halted in her tracks when she remembered that feminists who were far more educated than FPM and who came from much more liberal families had opinions and views which were photocopies of those of FPM. FPM stopped when she found that nobody was paying the least bit of attention to her. Even her good-for-nothing husband was gazing at the sky.
Once the fun was over, they came back to the changers. After waiting for over 15 minutes in a queue, they finally got inside a changing room. FPM ordered Ratan and Shubhodeep to quickly change into dry clothes and get out of the room. Shubhodeep, after drying himself with a towel was tying it around his waist, when FPM tried once again to cure Shubhodeep of his modesty. “You boy, don’t unnecessarily put on your dry undy under that wet towel and wet it. Just take off your towel and put on your dry underpant.” Once again, Shubhodeep chose to ignore FPM’s advice.
After FPM shooed the males out, the females changed into dry clothes and came out to find lots of young girls and women, not wanting to waste their time standing in queue, stripping off their wet clothes except their panties before drying themselves and putting on dry clothes. Even this perfectly natural behaviour irritated FPM. “Such shameless girls. No senses of decency. Taking off their wet clothes right in front of everybody. So what if we are females too? That does not mean they should throw all senses of shame to the winds. They may be getting into bad habits. Bad habits are hard to cure. Today they are taking their clothes off before females. Tomorrow they are going to take off their clothes before males.”
That was it. FPM’s pyrotechnics were over for the day. Her sound tank had at last run out of fuel. She could not keep on at it any more, what with not the least bit of encouragement or a single word of approval coming from a single person. For the rest of their stay and the ride back home, she did not utter a single word and had only a permanent scowl on her face.
Well, FPM was storing up energy for another outburst. As soon as they finished their breakfast the next day, she started all over. It was just a regurgitation of all she had said before but FPM just loved to hear her own voice. This lecture could be aptly given the title – The moral degradation of Indian women forgetting their eternal tradition and parading their bodies everywhere before males and the resultant consequences.
“I can see that Indian society is on the verge of total ruin. And for this, Indian women are totally responsible. All those shameless, brazen, immodest, remorseless, reckless Indian women, who have readily transformed themselves into commodities before men. Wearing revealing dresses in public. Putting their bodies on display before males. Treating their own bodies as objects to be put on display in exhibitions. Everyone knows males are easily excitable. The sight of an Indian woman in traditional Indian dress covering her properly from top to bottom will calm down, cool down even the most hot-blooded male, will force him to look upon and respect all women as mothers and sisters. On the other hand, an Indian woman who throws all tradition to the winds and imitating all those characterless western women, wears dirty, obscene western outfits will excite and heat up even the most cold-blooded male, will make him think that all women are women of easy virtue, all women are readily available to males, all women are whores. Remember, males are by nature aggressive. Only if women keep their bodies under wraps, will males keep their aggressive behaviour under wraps. But if women roam in public almost naked showing off most of their bodies, males will be forced to show naked aggression towards them. How can we expect a male to control himself if a woman presents herself before him like a ready to eat ripe, juicy fruit on a platter? How can a male keep himself under check if a woman deliberately tempts him, lures him wearing such obscene dresses? The women wearing provocative dresses also harm the cause of women who dress decently. That is because when males are roused, they do not make any distinctions between provocative dressers and decent dressers. They think all women are out there to satisfy their carnal desires. It is up to women to dress properly and dispel them of such notions. Males know very well that virtuous women dress properly and they will not dare turn their lustful gazes on a virtuous woman and harm her. On the other hand, women who discard their clothes in public are also discarding all their virtues at the same time. Knowing this, if males pounce on such women, who can blame them? I for one will never blame them. It is only because women are displaying their bodies flagrantly, caring a fig for all norms of decent behaviour, that incidents of molestations, rapes, eve-teasings are on the rise. Uncovered female skin is to rapists and molesters what ghee is to fire. I have nothing more to say. I pray to God that one of these days I go blind. That way I will be spared from watching this shamelessness of shameless females nowadays.”
“And this is where ‘The Case of the Prim Pishi’ ends,” said Sharbani, putting down her old diary.
Vijay, Sumantro and Leena had been smiling silently for the last two hours. But they could not control themselves any more. Along with Sharbani, they broke out into loud laughter.
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