Copyright2010@Anurakt Srivastava
Batch of 1999
Anurakt Srivastava
Smashword edition 2010
Copyright2010@Anurakt Srivastava
Index
Player
Some days are special
The introvert
introvert’s diary
The callgirl
Restaurant meeting
Risky business
Wall of fortune
Game continued
Another page of the diary
Lover
Impulsive
Poster-girl
Spoiled child
homosexual
Another page from the diary
Posters
A girl who couldn’t move
Piano player
A little reunion
Wall of fortune 2
Final page of the diary
Revenge
Reunion 2
Reunion 3
Memories
After one year
The comic book
Tanak
Name – Tanak Saxena
Age – 23
Education – schooling
Marital status – complicated
Occupation – unemployed
Hobbies - walking
2005
Something was unusual about him. No one knew what. Everyone was jealous of him only. Jealous and idolizing him for his art. They weren’t sure if it was an art or pure-sure luck. People of his locality were half amazed half scared of him. He just needed five minutes to charm anyone to perform his magic and then no one could resist.
Even right now, one girl was standing on Tanak’s door to catch him when he would come out and another one was sitting on her knees below the electric pole on the corner of the streets. Her parents were there too and requesting her to get home with them. But she was only a thing with no capacity to respond. Mighty love had vanished all her shame and self-respect. Her ears only wanted to hear his voice and her eyes only wanted to see him again when he would come out to buy eggs for evening breakfast. Yes, that was his habit. She was praying that he would felt hunger soon and came out faster. Tanak looked from inside the window and told the girl’s parents to take her home and the girl started crying hoarsely. It wasn’t the thing she wanted to listen. He was so nice and so cute, how could he talk so roughly? He gave her dreams and now he was breaking those.
Tanak was inside his room with two girls. One was from the nearby PCO and another was a primary teacher. They were inside because they were new and ready to adjust and change for him, according to his habits and comforts. Because they were ready to do anything and considering themselves lucky for being inside right now and they knew that many of the local girls were jealous of them right now. Tara was a PCO reseptionist and Tanak was the only color of her mechanical life. She was his girlfriend from two weeks now and they were doing well. He might marry her someday. How nice it would be? Aah. She still remembered how Tanak came to her two weeks ago and held her hand. She became speechless right there. Tanak didn’t’ say anything and took her with hand outside the institute. She couldn’t understand why she was so unable to resist. He wasn’t saying anything and she wasn’t asking. There was no need of words, when actions and gestures were enough. He didn’t give her any chance to think. She had never seen him before. And she knew that at this very second her life was transforming and she couldn’t do anything except being a spectator. And it was feeling great. She wished that the destination would never come and he would never left her hand. His hand was warm and rough. Perfect. Like it should have been. He was a real man. He knew how to behave. She was walking on the cloud 9.
He took her to a restaurant because he wanted to eat something and he didn’t want to eat alone. Sure, why not? He told her that her nose was too long. Now that was too much and she should have left this man right there. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t ask any questions. He didn’t give her any chance. What else? She was paying for the food and coffee they had at the restaurant. Next day, He screwed her in the abandoned area behind her house at eight o clock evening. Her life was in his hands completely and she was behaving like a slave. She asked him when he would do this again. He smiled. Tanak told her that he got a girlfriend. She dismissed this fact like a bubble.
Something was appealing in him. But she couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t his face. Tanak's face and built was average. He wasn’t romantic. He was too straight forward. Whenever Tanak entered any house, he entered with the confidence of owner of the house. He got four sexual partners around the locality alone. Two of those were pregnant and Tanak was changing girlfriends with staggering speed.
His first one was his own history teacher in school. She was the hottest woman of the school and many teachers were after her. She was married though. But it wasn’t going to bother anyone. Samar didn’t take more than 5 minutes. He told her that he got a query in her subject and wanted to spend some quality time to solve it. He told this thing in such a way as if someone was talking to his wife on first night. He went with her in an empty room of the school which was meant for all the fun purposes of students and teachers. They came out exhausted after 17 minutes. He was scoring well in history for the rest of the months in school. Tanak left the school after passing with good marks and taking virginity of three girls of school. Two months later History teacher died due to the complications of low blood pressure. It was just the start.
He got the effect of movie star on all the people. They wondered how he managed to do that with simple looks and body. It was when he started talking. It was something to do with that only. Nobody was sure though. But they could feel something in the voice and touch. It wasn’t usual. Tanak's tone was so heavy and vibrating like voice over artists. And his touch was like snake. Oily. It could have covered you up with feelings unknown. Perhaps he was gifted or whatever. But it was the fact that he knew how to play his game.
There were complaints about him in the police station too. Complaints filed by the parents of pregnant girls and fooled girls themselves. As if it mattered. Police got more important things to do rather than being involved in personal love-life of a playboy. There were many other issues of importance anyway which deserved more attention. And there weren’t the marriage involved. Affairs and break-ups were as common as mobile phones and cars.
Once a policeman dropped by Tanak's house when he got a lot of free time to talk to a horny kid. Tanak talked to him for 2 minutes and police-man went home with the few phone numbers on nude photographs. These girls, as Tanak told him, would do anything if policeman called them with Tanak 's reference. He closed all the peanut cases that had been filed against Tanak next morning.
Right now, Tanak was fingering a dark skinned girl and thinking about past. Girl was sad because of this and she asked him to concentrate. Tanak called her with someone else name and a tear fell from one of her eyes. He ordered her to bring tea with one and half spoon sugar and along with a stirrer.
So That’s why people say not to fall in love, she was thinking.
She knew that she got no future now. She knew she would never be happy again with anyone else. And it was horrible thought. The cup fell from her hands. He didn’t mind as there were many cups like many girls. It made her angrier. He should have responded to her in some other way. He should have been talking or touching. He should have been angry or nice to her according to her behavior. He should have been punishing her sometimes or atleast look at her with affection. She didn’t exist for him anymore. It was the worst thing in the whole universe. Nothing could be this bad. She was the whole world for Tanak a week ago and like he had sucked all the feelings and freshness from her so she was only a nobody and stranger for him now. She believed that she had an understanding of all these heart matters and relationships. Then why it was hurting her so much? Like something had remained inside her and it was crushing and biting her. It was making her cry, breaking her heart. There was no door outside and she was in. she needed a lots of alcohol with ice. Who was he? She wondered if she knew his name. Tanak or whatever. The only reality was that they were made for each other and she wanted him so bad. She couldn’t remember when he had become so special. She was wishing that he would touch her once again like a week ago. He sipped the tea with the gesture of a husband. Why he was doing what he was doing? It was just what she wanted him to do. He shouldn’t have been leaving her. He should have killed her instead. He should have been pitying her pain and mercy-kill her. She didn’t deserve to live and she didn’t want to live. Her soul would go with him and her body was too heavy to lift without a soul. But the tea was tasty. His face was smiling and she wiped tea drops from his lower lips. It was so nice, she thought.
Tanak went to a computer institute in the evening. Today was a great day because he wanted to take admission in this school. He submitted the fee and signed few important papers. Then he went inside with a teacher. And there were classes going on. For students there, a new-comer was not a new thing but for girls it was. All the feminine faces moved with him, many hearts skipped beats without any particular reason. It was a matter of feelings now. No one wanted to study among them now. They had seen something which was special in someway (like the hell it was). He moved faster because it was even beyond his control. Even he had no idea about why and how it was happening. But he had seen its effect and it was growing day by day. All the females of the class were behaving anxiously and ecstatic. They were moving rapidly on seats and closing their books. Some were biting nails and fingers. Some hitting the table with the pen. Some wanted to close their eyes to absorb the atmosphere from feel buds so they laid with heads down over the benches. There was his smell in the whole room. Like sweet tobacco with lemon. Like milk and moon. Like water and honey. Room was smelling like a chemistry lab right then. Nostalgic intoxicating aroma coming from back seat was making everyone drowsy. Tanak was becoming angry with all this. It was him who was causing this mess and he hated every second of it. He had to get out of there right now. They all just looked hypnotized or something. Before they would cross any limits, he had to move out of here. It was getting out of control. He stood up from his seat and told the teacher that he wanted to go out for sometime to drink water.
‘Please, don’t go. A girl in the front row requested.’
‘Yes, don’t please, it is an important class and we are learning about the usage of Microsoft office. You will miss it if you leave,’ Another girl told him.
She is good-looking, he looked in her eyes, poor rabbit.
‘I am only going to drink water,’ He told her and thanked her for caring about him. She wanted to talk more but he left.
He really did drink the water from the water tank outside. And threw a glance inside the room again through the transparent walls of Italian glass. More than 15 eyes were looking toward him. Few of those had all the promises of love and faithfulness and few had the expressions of surrender. He smiled at everyone and many jaws dropped. Tanak threw the disposable glass in the waste basket and ran out of there.
How it started
1999
It was a normal day of the school and everyone was supposed to do normal things in a normal environment. That is how things are expected to run around. That is how it starts. Things went from ascending to descending order. It is the rule of the universe. Nothing stays as it is. People think that circumstances can be controlled. Well, no one knows the actual truth.
Class of 30 students of arts section was ideal in behavior. They were all between 16 to 17 years of age and happy to study here (because they got no other choice). White convent was a school of good reputation and scorers. This was going to be easy. Parents were happy and kids were happy. Everything was according to the structure and following the path of definite.
Today, there was going to be a tour of chemistry lab as an introduction to the science. Though, all of them knew that it would be of no use in the future or career so everyone was in a playful and boring mood. Boys were hitting on girls and back benchers were playing with the colorful things of the lab, which got the looks of showpieces. Few were saying funny things about the cricket match that happened yesterday (India lost). Teachers were talking to each other and complaining about management. It was a scene of a party or something. Students were joking about the chemicals inside the test-tubes and the burner. They set burner on fire and started scaring each other with that. Everything was a game for them. They discovered lenses. They brought a mouse from the biology lab and threw chemicals on it to see the effect then burned it with lenses and sunlight to see the dance of life. Teacher told them not to do this and it acted as a booster for them instead of lowering their spirits. They killed the mouse finally by hitting it on the wall so hard. And then they were disgusted on the mess from the rat’s stomach. It was just the start.
Arts section was famous for its hustle and chaos. No student could come out of the art section without getting ragged in some humiliating way. You wouldn't want to go inside their room. They got the reputation as agents from hell. Every other kid was scared of final year arts class. But that was not the end of it. Art section brought most of the trophies and most of the complaints from the parents of other students and nearby areas. You could find every category of student there. Rich, poor, studious, dull, lazy, sportsman, genius, blacklisted and painters. Class was situated on the top floor of the school in room no. 59. Right after the sports-room. Room was painted in white and was decorated with charts and graffiti. There were 26 benches taking in mind one bench for two students. Its windows were giving a nice view of the backyard of the school and buildings that were situated in the east of the city. Somehow, it was distinct from the rest of the school. No one knows how and why? It could be an architecture fault or symmetrical, but there was something eye pinching and irregular. For the kids studying there, it was the best place to rule the school. They were reputed for colors they conspire.
Students, who took arts as freshers were bound to give attendance to the senior year. It could be in the form of item numbers and pranks with occasional pole-dance if a senior was in royal mood. Final year used to stand talk and smoke outside the school after and during the classes. They used to do many things that were normally forbidden for students. And today, they were in the lab just for fun again. Principal gave the permission for the labs only because it was a kind of old tradition. Like a tour or picnic after the terms or like an occasional function, because it was mentioned in the school prospectus.
No one would ever know what actually happened that day but legends have it that one of the art student came running faster than the congested place could allow. And struck the glass cabinet so it fell down over a gas cylinder. For a few seconds, the student kept looking there with guilt of damaging the property of the school for which he might be punished. But it turned out to be worse than that when the cylinder burst open.
No one remembered a thing after that but rest was going to be the history. All the 25 students present in the lab woke up at the hospital after unconscious stage. Doctors told Dheeraj Muneem (the principal of the school) and parents that it was nothing serious as the students were all right without a scratch and it was proved, when one by one, they started waking up and started recognizing their guardians. Parents were happy, doctors were praising themselves and teachers were taking deep breath of relaxation.
Everyone was happy except the principal. He went through the corridor to the reception. It was busy so he had to wait before his turn. He wanted to make a call. He wished that telephone would disappear as he was waiting. Telephone and kids and his whole school would disappear. Wishes don’t come true.
“Hello, Jagat. I have to meet you……………….. Yes, you are right………… All the arts section was in chem. Room and went down faded……… That thing you gave me for protection has vanished in gas because I couldn’t find it and I think that all the kids intake it through breathing……………….. Listen, I know it would be something important if you had given it to me and I kept it where no one could reach possibly but the whole stupid glass cabinet fell down……………..if it is about money we can see to it. Just tell me how much I owe you…………….. What?..... Okay……. I should look inside the lab again……………… Students? What about them?................... Ow! my gawd…. Could anybody ever figure out……….. Then we should keep quite about this. Because now there isn't much to do anyway. I don't want press to arrive at my school and convert it in a circus…………… No, government would seal my property and everything if the news would come out. For the old days sake keep your mouth shut…………. I didn't know that I was allowing you radiated neuro-toxins in my lab. You told me that it was some rare oil or something which you had to put in a controlled environment…………. God, you have any idea what happens here. A whole section is laying there in the emergency ward with their guardians and relatives ready to grab my collar on any hitch or sneeze from a single kid. What have you put me into?............. Yes, that would be good for you and me…… now I am hanging up the phone. God help us.”
Dheeraj walked towards the ICU again.
Radiated neuro-toxins his thoughts repeated. Name had it. Now he could figure out what had actually happened in the lab. His friend’s words were playing again and again in his mind, dissolve the arts section and send everyone home. Or what close the school and start a hotel in that place (his friend didn't laugh at this while saying it and it was making principal angry. Very angry.
Jagdeesh told him that it would affect the whole life of every student present in the lab at that time. It hits the mind his friend's words.
He went inside the unit and saw that almost every student was conscious now and it amazed him that they were looking fresher than the morning.
Perhaps it was all just a thought of his friend. But Jagdeesh wasn’t a person of air-talking. He had known Jagdeesh all his life. Even Jagdeesh was the person who advised him once to open a school. Now he was advising to close it down. What rubbish!! Everyone was looking fine here. Even better than before, why the hell? Everyone was talking and some were even cracking jokes. These arts students. Nothing had happened to them. They were great. Perfect! Even if Jagdeesh was right, there was nothing much to do but to wait and watch for the bad-luck to come. Because in front of destiny everyone is just a puppet. So, if nothing could be done then it was an ideal situation. This time he didn't know and didn’t even want to know what the words “it hits the mind” meant exactly. He went to a bed on the corner and there was laying the topper of arts section. Aniket smiled at principal with respect. Principal rubbed his hairs and said a silent prayer for him. Not because he was a topper but because he was looking at him unquestioningly with all the trust a student can have for his teachers. Principal wanted to forget the words of his friend. He knew that he could.
Nothing was going to be the same from now on. Nothing was normal in that room. Everyone was happy and everyone knew that something was just not right. But they couldn't figure it out. Soon, they all got discharged. They went home with courtesy of principal through school buses and his personal cars. They were playing and singing again in the buses and few were looking out of the window as if nothing had happened in order to make the atmosphere alive again and to show the spirit of moving on. Few were so quite and they were sitting separately from their parents. They were feeling a kind of cold in the back…… a kind of chill that was soothing when it reached to the head.
Aniket
Name: Aniket Thakur
Age : 23
Sex : male
Status : unemployed, unmarried
School : White Convent
Cause of death : suicide
Description
He was the topper of white convent and second topper of the city. A whole-sole winner of the Olympiad, which was a reputed competition among students. He won the scholarship for the best colleges after the school. Declined each!! Aniket was like this since he was a child. Once a topper is always a topper. Then he discovered books and kept sitting in school library bunking classes and reading all the classics and poets from all the ages. After the entertainment, he went on to philosophy, psychology and probability to know more about the reason behind actions and behavior. Librarian warned him that it could be bad for his scores and brain but he got highest marks again that year. His father was a doctor. He wanted his son to imitate him like a mirror and handle his clinic after completing studies. But Aniket broke all his father’s dreams by taking arts in the final years and that was a big disappointment. At that time he just liked history and wanted to pursue it further, irrespective of his marks and all the other dummy subjects that he had to prepare along with it. His father cut down his pocket money and other wages. Nothing bothered him. He didn’t need much money. He went on to get good marks and making it to the gold positions. Class wasn’t proud of him. He was a nerd and he wasn’t welcomed in the arts section or anywhere else. That class was all about having fun and they used to hate good students. They despised such old fashioned characters. Every other bad scorer was lower somehow because of the students who got good grades. But Aniket was a good friend and person who mind his own work, so it didn’t stress him too much (so to say). It wasn’t in his plans to become a civil servant or something like that. He liked to study and that he was doing. Marks were just the by-products not the motive.
He used to show his copy to other students during exam to prove his friendship. Every student of the bully class was his defender on getting caught while this social-work. So he was the king during terms but they would rather neglect him anyway. He used to help them in all the ways to keep friends and to mix up but he couldn’t. This social system couldn’t get inside his brain. Not that it was very important but he didn’t have any friend except classmates. Not siblings at home. Not even a mother. His father lost wife in a train accident when Aniket was 5. Remarriage never happened because father was convenient with his loneliness.
It could have gone like this forever. Aniket was showing good signs even in arts.
Then came a day when everything changed.
Aniket wasn’t a bit excited about the chemistry lab because there was nothing to learn for him. chemicals, rats, octopus in a jar, weird scales and boring instruments which were for bookish freaks who prided themselves by the weight of notes. He was not a freak. He was a nerd. But Aniket went there anyway just to remain with his class fellows because he was a part of a group. A group which treated him like an outsider.
He was talking to Sonia about the history notes. That he would give it to her in few days. And he told her that these notes were very good and advised her to keep them secretive (to prove his importance that the girl was going to get the notes of topper of the state). Sonia didn’t like him but she managed to show that she admired Aniket. Aniket knew that she didn’t like him but life means trying. Life meant trying for him until that second.
Everything was normal and usual until Aniket saw Vijay running after another student of low height and low profile. Few were shouting and encouraging him and then running student tangled with something and fell over the glass cabinet at the end of the lab and it fell on the floor. And the world changed for Aniket that day.
He left the books and left his countable friends few days after that accident. He dropped his dreams and plans to get knowledge and gain something really worthwhile. He stopped meeting and respecting others. He stopped caring for anyone at the school and house, everywhere. A little more time and Aniket stopped talking to anyone. Not that he had become shy or something like that. It was only a detachment from everything and anyone else around him that represented society. His father thought that it was just his age and something related but it was more serious than that. He tried to develop an understanding with his son and called up his many psychiatrist friends. But Aniket failed all of them by not meeting few of them and insulting the rest. Father tried some of his own wonder medicines too. It just worsened the matter further. Now Aniket could sleep no more at nights and was unable to pursue a definite schedule. Now, the nights were much freezer and compatible than before so there was no need to wake up at day. Not that it was any problem for his father as long as good marks kept coming. Situation got weirder as the days went by.
Exams came and went like always. Arts students were not waiting as bad as commerce and science. They weren’t depending on marks. What about Aniket? Same old story. All the universities accepted him including the ones where he didn’t even apply. He should have been glad. He should have celebrated. Instead of that, he spent all the time in cutting up all the threads of communication he had with the outer world. He had become an absolute introvert in those days and felt comfortable with all that lacked all his life. He started hating the things that he missed once.
Aniket took admission in a local college and then stopped going there. They didn’t mind at all because he was going to score anyway which was important for college reputation. He refused to change his way of living and then he let down a girl who had a taste for toppers. Anyone tried to talk to him felt like talking to a stone. Ask him for anything and you would get it but that wasn’t going to include any emotion, mood or selfishness. He remained at home all day doing nothing but smoking reading and thinking.
Once a relative asked him why is he like this, “why are you like this?” Aniket looked at him like relative was a statue of ice and nothing more than that. Everything was same for him.
Once a boy of the college saw him trying to write with a spoon. He had been asked many times for study tips and problems by others. Askers got the answers only. Everything stopped interesting him now.
At nightfall, he looked at the wet spot on his underwear with wonder and then kept laying there thinking about the eternity.
He wrote ‘23’ on the wall of his room one day and then kept looking at it. Then he went to the refrigerator, took out a pastry and ate it.
He switched off the lights and fans after coming back to his room on one summer day and remained like this till the day he lived.
He was on his bed, bathed in sweat and with a blanket around him at 45 degree Celsius temperature of Delhi June.
Father asked him for food. A gargling voice came from inside which meant a blur no. his father didn’t ask again. There was a red light which brightened suddenly and faded after that. A cigarette most certainly. A grass cigarette less certainly but it could be one possibly. Then there was a movement and a voice like screeching on plywood.
Father left the floor because he thought that Aniket was coming out and he was so scared to see what might come out of that room. It was someone else inside. Inside Aniket. It was something absolute. Nothing should be absolute and out of reach. He was unable even to look at Aniket. It was easier to let him do anything he wanted and to pay for his expenses until he would be somebody.
But that was not what the destiny had decided for Aniket.
The compass entered his skin once while he was trying to make hole in a cardboard to make a book-cover. He didn’t take it out for long and kept looking at his blood while completing the book cover.
There was a very dim light coming from the window at that time. Lots of cloths were scattered on the floor and the boy was naked. He grabbed a pant with blood stained hands and looked at the flower on the pant with watery eyes. He wasn’t thinking about cover or blood at that time. Neither was it about himself or anything surrounding him. The failure overtook and he surrendered.
He didn’t give the second and third year exams. People forget who was Aniket. He tried a BPO, but was unable to concentrate on the digits written on the dial pad of the telephone. And he had to make 300 calls per day which was an impossible task for him in this life. Though, he did sell some products but left without taking any salary. Home sweet home.
College was a long forgotten place and going there was out of questions as daylight had become unbearable for him. He always came out at night with a hanky on his face. Then he bought cigarettes and other things before running towards home again. He always tried not to look at people while going back. In this way, Aniket increased the curiosity of the people because a man with a handkerchief of checks, who was walking fast, couldn’t be missed.
He didn’t even shave for three months. And hairs were undone also. He brushed his teeth though. No bathing. No cleaning of room.
His father totally ignored his presence in the house. he was avoided and then forgotten by locals. Nothing but A thought that came and faded occasionally when the talks about politics and films ended. Rest of him finished when he hanged himself from the ceiling-fan which was a popular way of suicide in India.
Police came and declared the death a suicide after taking him off the hook. His place was a complete mess and there was no bulb and no electricity (Aniket had disconnected all the connections of electricity a year ago). People didn’t believe that Aniket was living there. Let alone the fact that he was no more. His father looked in sorrow and relief. Though he wanted to cry but he couldn’t.
There was a diary in Aniket’s room which police found. It was not a daily-diary. Aniket wrote it whenever he felt like. There were important questions of history on page one and two. Some notes on third and fourth. And from the fourth page, there was his life. He started writing on the day when a student fell over the glass cabinet in chemistry lab.
Aniket’s diary
Today something strange happen. I was in the lab and something changed inside me after few hours when I wake up in the hospital.
He shouldn't have. No way. After I woke up it seemed like everything was so light around me. Everything had converted into something else which was like colors and then suddenly it changed into real things but the feeling remained. Everything was so light that I thought I could fly on slight movement. So I didn’t move and held the rod on the side of that dirty hospital bed. Was that good? I don't know. Things moving here and there with colored tails and talking to each other like spurting something out of their faces. I recognized my father. He looked like god or angel. He was not like always. I mean not in a literal way but I was watching him under different light. Not much different from my principal. And nobody was different from one another. Lights and lights were everywhere like I was watching a commercial of plasma television. Everyone had a rainbow light surface over them which was scattering with motions and touch. I was feeling something warm in my ears which couldn’t be noticed much because there were strange things happening around. I didn't tell anyone or they would think that I had gone crazy. I did actually. My father showed some care for me and bought tomato soup from the hospital canteen. I liked tomato soup so much that I never had liked anything before in my life. I wanted to drown in that tomato soup because I loved it like I never loved anything ever before. It had fried bread which went in my mouth with a delightful surprise. It was strange how a veg-soup could be so tasty. It was the time and situation I think which increased the pleasure. Father took his car along but I wanted to go by bus. I wanted to be between so many people around me because I was scared. I was scared because of colors that were following me, newness of the atmosphere and the taste of soup. So scared I was that I kept holding one thing or another on the way back home. In the way I saw like everything was different not only in shape but in meaning also. I cannot explain it but I didn't talk to anyone (even I couldn't). Don't know, maybe this condition was side-effect of unconsciousness or aftereffect of medicine or gas. I am feeling a sweet drowsiness and maybe everything would go back to normal. Though, I am not sure if I want this to happen because present condition is pleasant in a way and I kind of liking it. Nature and calm has found its way to me. So even if world would remain like this then I am happy.
Veena
Name : Veena Sachdeva
Age : 23 (at the time of death)
Profession : salesgirl and prostitute
Qualification : high school
Cause of death : suicide
She was the most beautiful girl of the class and made for arts only. Anyone could tell. And boys were even anxious while taking to her because they felt a type of inferiority complex in front of her beauty. They couldn't even stand without taking the support of a bench or friend. And she was well aware of her power. She knew how to use it in her favor. In the absence of a steady boyfriend, she believes in playing with everyone around. And other students liked to be played.
But in the class she got a reputation of a bitch. All the girls hated him and most of the boys too. But it didn't change the solid facts that she was capable of getting what she wanted.
Even the examiners gave her full marks after asking childish questions in the oral test on the second last term. Nobody protested.
Rumors were that she was the only girl of the class who wasn't a virgin. Rumors are rumors. Words were even that she wasn't used to go home after the school and she was going to clubs and that she was even staying at the boys homes at nights. Few were false, few were true.
One day a student saw Veena kissing a guy fiercely in an empty room of the school. She looked at the student and kept kissing this boy. It was a fun for her and a fun is even funnier with challenge.
She wanted to become a model and was trying her luck. She was sending her photos to the agencies and was getting some positive replies too. She was only waiting for the school to finish because her parents gave her permission only on this condition that she would clear her final year first. That wasn't much far so she wanted to make sure that no time would be wasted after that. There were six months to the final exams and clearing arts wasn't too tough for her. Nothing was tough with such an amazing face and gifted curves.
Veena had a movie date that day but she decided to go there after visiting the chemistry lab. That was going to be the worst mistake of her life.
She was talking to a boy and someone struck something and something fell down. There was a noise of breaking-glass, crushes and shout before she fainted.
With closing eyes she saw a world so beautiful and perfect. Where children were playing on swings and parents were calling them with gifts in hands. Where no one was doing any jobs and people were engaged in their favorite activities. Where sweet music was in the atmosphere all the times. Everyday was a new festival. Everyone was great. People were talking to each other with smiles. There were rivers oceans and things to eat everywhere available for free. Veena spat in disgust and her eyes were completely closed now. Now nothing would ever be same again for her.
All the doctors seemed more interested in her than anyone else. No one cared now. Everyone was lost into themselves. She didn’t even protest when one of the doctor touched her breasts. Back at that time and the time that followed. She had forgotten her sense of self completely and started touching everything like a four week old infant. Her parents were talking to each other. She recognized their voices and smiled. They were happy that everything was perfect. It wasn’t perfect only, it was more than perfect. Far away a person was talking on the phone. Police was at the door. There were other kids in the same uniform. Everything was so unknown and senseless. So distant from her own position. She looked at her short skirt and shaved legs. Veena wanted to sleep. She felt so tired. She wondered why every man was looking at her with strange needy eyes.
After sometime, a nurse gave her some juice with harsh expressions. Nurse was angry with reasons unknown to her but she might be a really nice woman by heart.
Juice was tasty. Everything was feeling good and soft on her body. Like a type of sensation. Or a feeling so complete and making her hungry at the same time. She couldn't figure it out.
She held the hand of a ward boy on while going out from the corridor of the hospital. Ward boy forgot all the jobs he was assigned too. Touch pleased her and gave her a sense of protection and care.
She slept for 20 hours after coming back. Next night she ran away from home in her night suit. No one can hide with a fairy face and she didn't want to. She gladly accepted whatever anyone was offering her and gladly let them do whatever they wanted. She didn't understand what was in her body which was so precious for these people but she liked their attention and other things. After going through a roller-coaster life for many days on road, where she slept, ate and fucked only, She ended up in a nice house, whose owner kept her there gladly, fulfilling her every need.
He came at nights or at weekends only. He used her in all the ways he desired or fantasized. She was the best looking woman he had ever seen in his life and she had lost some screw. What else could a man ask for? Good for him. He threw her out after two years for personal reasons. She didn't mind at all.
Veena went to a shop and start working there. It was a Jewelry shop and Jeweler was enchanted. For a month she worked there till jeweler knew about her nature. He repeated the history and had the business sense to sell her after a few months. She wondered what, why and how everything that was happening to her. She was like in a flow and it was taking her somewhere. She didn't even have to move her organs. I don't even have to screw you a customer told her as a compliment but he did screw her two times in three hours. She fell in love with all of them. Even the men who were treating her harshly.
Once she was looking at her face in the mirror and she started crying because it was not looking like her own.
Her parents found her one day outside a tea-stall when the owner was telling her dirty jokes and she was giggling shamelessly. Parents took her home. There she looked at her old photographs and remembered which she had long forgotten. Even the place where everything was in order and perfect with festivals everyday. She started suffering with attacks of nostalgia. She started reminding the past with time and started becoming sad and sadder. When she recalled her dreams, her face which was looking ever more fascinating now, Veena couldn't keep her balance and decided one day that life had nothing for her in box now. She made a smiley on her suicide note before jumping off the third floor. She fell on her face while hitting the road. It was a deliberate effort to punish her face. She hated her face.
Restaurant meeting
Two people were talking in that restaurant seemed scared. Because they knew the two people who committed suicide recently.
‘One more death and police would grab me right from my office’, Raviraj took a gulp of the whiskey to stay calm.
‘Just because you are the principal of the school where they were studying once?’ Jagdeesh shrugged and mixed salt in his whiskey glass. He could have eaten bread with watermelon. Food was meant for stomach according to him.
‘So, what else does it mean? All the students of arts section of my school are dying one by one. Think this is normal? They would come to ask me for sure’, Principal said.
‘But you can avoid them easily. Say that it has nothing to do with you and it is just a coincident and you are busy in organizing functions. Just like that and you are out.’
‘And what if there would be fourth death?’ Principal looked at him with plane face.
‘Then you would be looking for bugs in your telephone and some people might be following you. haha. This is India. Who cares about suiciding people that once went to same arts class? Police wouldn't notice this fact. They even miss the obvious details these days,’ Jagdeesh tried to comfort him with an idea that it wouldn’t work on principal. Comforting is an act of formality sometimes.
‘When you told me that day to close the school and open a hotel there I thought that you were joking.’
‘I wasn't joking. And you know that.’
‘I wish you were.’
‘I was serious. I am serious right now too. Just not showing it.’
‘Thanks for saying this. I should have opened a hotel or something right after the graduation. By the way, What was in that tube which you gave me that unlucky day when I trusted you?’ Dheeraj asked.
‘You don't want to know. It would just increase your heart beat so leave it. In short it was a sample of chemical weapon. I don't even know about the exact effects because it was under development but it has something to do with the mind. Something to do with the perception. In another words basic thinking and imagination.’
‘You mean it changes the way one look at the world’
‘You got it. We have tried it on animals. Rats and monkeys mostly. They stopped eating. They tried to chew the bars and glass. And I don't know how but a monkey popped-out his left eye one day,’ Jagdeesh tried but a smile came out of his lips showing few white teeth. ‘I am telling you. These fools cannot be out ansestors. From my experience, even a frog behaves more cleverly.’
‘That is so cruel.’
‘Yeah, monkey was eating it when we came back into the lab.’
‘I can’t think of anything now accept how far one can go if the outlook has been manipulated.’
‘Yes, me too because in a way everything is connected to the way we understand the circumstances and different angles of same thing. A pencil can be taken as a murder weapon in wrong hands. What would a serial-killer do with a bouquet of flowers except decorating of body of victim's corpse. Newton saw the laws of gravitation in falling apple. Everything is just perception and if it is distorted and destroyed then God helps the person’.
Principal looked at his hands. Destiny. There was still nothing much to do. There were just the questions and no answers except waiting for that chemical to perform another disaster. Strange how such a small thing could change lives. But his student or anyone else was important for him and it was not about saving himself from the law but to save others too who unfortunately were present at such an unfortunate event.
‘So, should we worry about what would happen next?’ Principal asked because there was nothing else to ask anyway and he was feeling like talking.
‘No, that wouldn't be a good solution. I mean, it was a weapon but it was under development and it was a government project at its initial stage. I didn't put it in our lab because senior officials had advised me against it. But it is not an evil thing by nature. No, I am not saying that. Water and fire is life but can kill if behave in other ways. I was in the development team so I have seen each and every step. We didn’t use poisons. We used radioactivity. And radioactivity means surprise. Remember Hiroshima? It is neutral but highly potent. It is like human being. It may come out to be the worst or the best case scenario. I mean we didn't tested or defined the behavior of the chemical,’ Jagdeesh sighed and the look on his face was of a confused man. Just like when he was in fifth standard, principal thought. Damn, why did he keep such a demon thing in his own lab between soft kids (yeah soft).
‘Are you trying to comfort me? Because this is not working.’
‘I am not trying to comfort you but I am doing exactly opposite thing. You want to say that I am not a trustworthy person. You know better than that. I think we shouldn't talk about that because there is not much left to talk about. We are just puppets in this huge playground of activities,’ Jagdeesh added some more salt in the whiskey.
‘You are quoting Shakespeare to justify. There were twenty-five students present there when this happened. And two of those are no more. 23 more students and I can’t even track them down to help,’ principal slapped on the table and irritated because Jagdeesh was treating the whiskey like chicken soup.
‘You aren't of much help anyway. Just calm down and keep breathing. And I have good news.’
‘Really? What? A time-machine now?’ Dheeraj asked in a sarcastic way.
‘Aha,’ He shook his head and produced a piece of newspaper and showed it to the principal, ‘This is your student, see.’
Principal saw the crumpled copy of the newspaper. The guy who was smiling on the top of the front page was actually his student from the batch of 1999.
Radioactive smile. Principal thought.
Sudhir
Name – Sudhir Mehta
Education: M.B.A
Employment: self-employed (founder of Kalash Industries), Chairmen of Kalash NGOs.
Other achievements: Limca book record holder as the youngest billionare of india, businessmen of the year by Today.
Hobbies: playing carom (alone).
The Birthday night
Birthday doesn't occurs everyday. He wanted to celebrate this day alone. He didn’t know the reason. He didn't even know that this day would come. Even he had planned that it wouldn’t. Sudhir had everything on impulses which happened to him like shocks from some inner-self. He didn’t have idea if he did all this for the comforts or fun. Or perhaps he wanted to break and to destroy his life completely by taking extreme decisions in the most critical of times. Or what else could be the reason for taking such drastic steps which no one would ever dream of taking.
Taking a long road from the highway that went from Delhi to Gurgaon he was trying hard to concentrate on the road ahead. Path was clear and not much traffic at this time of the day. Only a few other cars with fun craving people inside or some truck drivers with opium and other substances for making them work actively at sleeping hours to complete the round. If only they knew the value of sleep.
Sleep was most precious for Sudhir. Most important things are often the ones which people don’t have much. Sudhir used to forget his dreams but he still remembered that one which he saw at the night of lab accident. This dream was so colorful and bright. More real than the reality of nude eyes. He saw that he was dead and laying like a rag on the floor of an unknown room. This dream was so alive that it made him numb. Even when he woke up that night, he was feeling like a dead man walking. As if he got no life but still breathing. He got up from the bed. Room was extraordinary dark. There was no sound of anything. Even the clocks and bugs were silent. For a few second he thought that he was deaf. He snapped fingers near his ears to confirm. After a sigh of relief he went to bathroom.
Sudhir washed his face and hands and he could see the water but it had no temperature and weight. He made a tea and went to bed again. And since then he was watching this dream each time he slept.
In the beginning Sudhir was so scared that he tried to stop sleeping. But that wasn't possible because one has to sleep eventually.
He started looking like a dummy because that dream was killing the soul inside him. He was feeling like a zombie. Fun stopped making him happy and food stopped being delicious to him. Love seemed to him like a useless worthless feeling. There was no reason for him to do anything now because all the juices of life were tasteless to him.
For few weeks he tried to watch cartoons before sleeping to change his image of the world. As a result dreams got more violent. Full of crying and winters.
He tried to involve in fun and happy situations like hanging out with friends and parties. People avoided him usually because of the strange way he was acting.
His talking started scaring others because it normally revolves around sleeping, dreams and a few uncomfortable questions.
Questions he asked people were about their past life and its affect on their work and relationships.
His story started when he decided to end up his life. But he didn't want to die like a dog. He decided to make it possible in some special way. He would do what everyone was scared to death of and would wait for the disaster to grab and take him. He would go like a hero.
With this thought, he stole all the money from his home another day and bought lottery from twenty five thousand bucks.
He showed his father that investment and got punished with kicks and slaps.
Two lotteries actually won. Prize amount from the first lottery was 50 rupee and the second lottery prize amount was 130000000/- in Indian currency. He was a millionaire now at the age of 18.
His father apologized immediately but Sudhir despised that lottery which had failed all his plans.
He decided to get bankrupt and jailed. So, with a friend, he started a company taking loans from the big banks on the credit that he was a bumper lottery winner of the town.
And then a long trail of buying-selling everything and mad risks which made him the youngest billionaire of the town too.
It was unbelievable when Sudhir looked back at all the events that had happened in the past few years. He was still dreaming that night everyday. It was more horrible each time. Sometimes more than before. He had seen many reputed psychiatrists to cure this dream problem. To skip the dreaming phrase, he even tried soothing music and sleep-reduction drugs. None helped.
Though, he was getting habitual in all this and becoming risk addicted with time. This was the only entertainment that he was enjoying. He liked helping people so he opened NGOs too. Now that Sudhir was mature and intelligent so he could figure out the whys of his condition. He knew that somehow it was related to the accident that happened in the lab. It was just a gas and 20 students dropped never to regain their posture ever again. That wasn't a normal thing. He never heard from anyone of them later on. No one tried to establish any contact. They went without any further trace to track them. They went breaking all the ties of friendship.
He took the services of some detective agencies and now he knew that everyone from his class was suffering, many were missing and two were dead. That was quite a revelation. Though he didn't want to interfere in others life but he ran his men after some of the other classmates to keep an eye on those.
Sudhir didn't want to help. That wasn't in his mind. But he didn't even want to keep standing on one place either. He understood the value of information now and many other things which others consider unimportant. He wanted to get rid of that dream at any cost.
Sudhir was known to be a man of guts in business world. Even in his own company people had fear of him and his ruthless decisions. They knew that Sandeep could close the company if he would feel like that in a flick of eyelash. His competitors were scared of being in field with a suicidal businessman. Though, the business kept growing and growing. He got everything that he didn't want. But that opened his door for things where he could be busy whole day to save himself from creepy thoughts and could buy or do anything. That helped a little. But he wanted to overcome every obstacle now. He longed to sleep peacefully.
There had to be some way. There should have been something which could be done. It was just a dream; he used to tell himself before retiring to sleep everyday. But this wasn't changing anything. A dream empowering and dominating all his life and this fact was making him so angry.
Reading Freud to understand dreams made him more confused. Interpretation of dreams was more difficult than the text books he didn’t studied during school.
He put the flowers near the bed on advice of a close friend.
He used girls to dream of sex and lust or anything else except that oldie on the suggestion of a stranger he met in during flight.
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(Pages 1-37 show above.)