Zombies Don’t BBQ!
A Living Dead 4th of July Poem
By Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don’t Cry
Copyright © 2010 by Rusty Fischer
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Cover credit: Scott Griessel
Zombies Don’t BBQ
I never quite got
Why we chose to go there;
As soon as heat sizzled
The warm summer air.
I always thought picnics
Were best in the park;
And, come to think of it,
Not held in… the dark!
But he chose the graveyard
And he brought the punch;
And he called our dinner
A barbecue “lunch.”
It felt kind of creepy
This graveyard affair;
As fireworks rocked
The warm July air.
But his eyes were so dreamy
And his muscles so strong;
I thought to myself,
“Girl, what could go wrong?!?”
And so I ignored
The headstones so pale;
As the black cats stopped purring
And started to wail.
My boyfriend looked happy
As he leaned on a tomb;
Though I must have looked like
A Sister of Doom.
His backpack was full
Of the latest TNT;
With black cats and cherry bombs
As far as the eye could see.
“Just wait ‘til it’s midnight,”
He said with a grin;
“The minute the clock strikes
Our fun will begin!”
The night grew quite late
As the 4th of July;
Exploded above us
In the warm, lazy sky.
I sipped on a soda
And nibbled a chip;
As around my shoulders
His arm it did slip.
It felt oh so dreamy
His chilly embrace;
As his cold, hoary breath
Washed over my face.
I nuzzled against him
His chest nice and firm;
And when he nuzzled my shoulder
I started to squirm.
But how could that happen
If he’s over there?
So who is that twirling
The tips of my… hair?!?
I jumped up with fright
And scrambled away;
To find my boy Johnny
Grinning away.
Behind me came shuffling
The gnashing of teeth;
As the dead became living
And sought some relief.
Their arms were outstretched
As they reached for my head;
They weren’t quite living
They weren’t quite dead.
Their faces were ghostly
With worms in their hair;
As their groaning and grating
Filled the night air.
“W-w-why are you smiling?”
I stammered with fright;
As the dead came to life
On this warm July night.
“Don’t worry,” said Johnny
As he held out his arm.
“They’re totally harmless;
No need for alarm.”
“Then why are they trying
To chew on my brain?”
He heard as I shouted
He heard me exclaim.
“It won’t hurt a second,”
My ex-boyfriend said.
“And then we’ll both be
The living dead!”
“But you’re not a zombie,”
I said with a frown.
“I’ve seen you eat cookies!
I’ve seen you get… down!”
He chuckled so dryly
It gave me a chill;
As the smell from the zombies
Made me quite ill.
My boyfriend just stood there
And wiped off his face;
And under white makeup
I saw his disgrace.
His skin was quite ashen
His face it was gray;
As from his cold hands
He washed his makeup away.
“I’ve been an imposter,”
He said, full of glee.
“These zombies you’re afraid of
They’re much more like me.”
He lurched at me boldly
As I ran away;
Grabbing his backpack
As I made my big play.
Now it all made sense
Now it was clear;
Why my dead bloody boyfriend
Had first brought me here.
It wasn’t to make-out
It wasn’t to mack;
He’d almost set me up
For a zombie attack!!
The zombies were closing
How quickly they ran;
As I dodged past a grave stone
And bent to my plan.
The bottle rockets sizzled
At the end of my lighter;
As I fired at those zombies
And became quite a fighter.
They firecrackers boomed
The bottle rockets hissed;
And as their bodies caught fire
Man, were they pissed!!!
They burned just like timber
Those living undead;
As their hair turned to ashes
And their skin turned quite red.
My boyfriend did howl
As the rockets they blared;
His eyes were wide open
He looked more than scared.
“I thought that you loved me,”
He croaked his last breath;
As the cherry bomb in his mouth
Sent him straight back to death!
I strode from the graveyard
Alone and quite single;
As with the holiday crowds
I started to mingle.
They’d heard not a whizz
Or a snap or a boom;
As I wiped out the zombies
And saved them from doom!
And all through the fireworks
I ooohed and I aaahed;
To think that my boyfriend
Had been such a… fraud.
And as I walked home
From that long, fateful night;
I shook with much fury
I trembled with fright.
I just couldn’t get it
No, nothing could calm me;
To think that I’d dated
A dangerous zombie!
About the Author:
Rusty Fischer
Rusty Fischer is the author of several YA supernatural novels, including Zombies Don’t Cry: A Living Dead Love Story (Medallion Press, 2011), Ushers, Inc. (Decadent Publishing, 2011), Detention of the Living Dead (Quake Books, 2012) and Vamplayers (Medallion Press, 2012).
Visit his blog, www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com, for news, reviews, cover leaks, writing and publishing advice, book excerpts and more! And if you can’t wait for his next release, download his complete YA novel Vampires Drool! Zombies Rule! absolutely FREE at www.scribd.com/doc/38953974/Vampires-Drool-Zombies-Rule-by-Rusty-Fischer.