Yeti
Alex Z
Copyright 2010 by Alex Z
Smashwords Edition
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1- Patrick
Patrick was walking to the meeting. It was basically some scientists rambling on about their little projects. Still, as the boss of Developers and Discoverers united, he had to host it.
Patrick looked at his watch and noticed it was 8:34. The meeting started at 8:35. Patrick started to run across the hall. He burst into the room. All the other scientists started laughing.
Patrick looked at the door. To his horror, he observed that it was pull, not push. The door separated from its hinges. Patrick was so humiliated; he could not listen to the presentations. Or at least until the Department of Research of Legendary Creatures spoke. Mr. Watson spoke of the research on a snow creature in the Himalayan Mountains.
At first, it was a bunch of charts that could be summed up in one sentence: Yeti sightings peak in March.
Next, he showed some videos of a Yeti sighting. Patrick became interested. After that, Mr. Watson showed videos of fake yeti sightings. Mr. Watson pointed out the zippers and the price tags.
He compared the behavior of the fake and real yetis. Patrick listened intently. This was the first time in four years that he heard something even remotely interesting at this meeting.
Someone asked Mr. Watson to tell more about a yeti. Mr. Watson replied “you know, kind of like the Abominable Snowman.”
After that presentation, the meeting continued rambling. Patrick was bored out of his mind. When the meeting finally concluded, Patrick made an announcement. “Next year” he said, in a bored voice, “each presenter will only have thirty minutes.”
The work day was over. Or so thought Mr. Watson. He was on his way out by the time Patrick stopped him and asked him to give more information on the yeti.
2- Snowball
It was time for Snowball’s test. The test determined what job he received. First, he was taken into the yeti king’s office. The king asked him what a yeti was. Snowball replied “the kings of the Himalayas.” The yeti king smiled.
Snowball moved on to the obstacle course. He maneuvered it with great difficulty. After that, he filled out a paper about what he would do if he was the yeti king.
For the rest of the week, he did miscellaneous stuff just like that. After that, he went into the yeti king’s office. It was tradition that, for a year, while the king and his consultants determined the results of his test, the yeti would be a servant.
Snowball did odd jobs like getting water and making food for the yetis. But one day, the yeti king told him “I want you to go up to the top of that tower and play a steady beat on that drum.
He did as he was told, and everyone started hiding under the snow. It was absolutely silent, until fifteen minutes later, when the yeti king said, in a booming voice “well done! If the people come, we will be ready!”
It was a human drill. Every month they had one, but yeti hunting season just ended. March was the time the yetis hunted for yaks. Yaks looked and tasted like deer. So they didn’t have to worry that much. But blizzards still came, and yetis hide under the snow for that, too.
After that, Snowball went back to the castle. The yeti king and some other yetis were there.
“Snowball” the yeti king started, “we have looked at your test, and we have never seen such a clear answer. Therefore we will discuss your job with you now, instead of waiting ten more months.
You see, we have been looking for a new king. I like being king of the yetis, but I want to get back into the hunting business. You would make a great replacement. So what do you think?”
Snowball was speechless. He managed to nod his head.
“Good” the yeti king said. “You start first thing in the morning.
3. Research & Development
Patrick met Mr. Watson the next morning at the doughnut shop. “What would you like to talk to me about” asked Mr. Watson. “Next March, I would like to go on a yeti hunt” Patrick replied.
Mr. Watson was shocked. He didn’t think anything would come of his Yeti project. “Sure” he said, as if he didn’t believe it.
So they started to prepare. They wanted to get a tranquilizer, in case the yeti went wild when he saw them.
They looked at the yeti’s size, footprints, and how big his feet were. They guessed he was 3,000 pounds.
That scared Patrick. He started to hire a team to help him. He looked for people who could defend him. In the end, he had 3 people. Not exactly impressive, but by what he expected, it was amazing. Two of them were not very bright, but did have a lot of muscle. The third knew everything there is to know about staying safe while climbing.
He started to prepare. First, he called in to the government to request clearance for their expedition. Next, he went home. But at five, he would have to go back for the budget meeting, or so he thought.
4. First Day on the Job
In another hemisphere, Snowball was preparing to become Yeti King. First, he put on his robes. Next, he put on his crown. He started to pack his things, because he was trading houses with the old king. He decided to do this because the old king lived in an apartment in the castle. The biggest one, of course.
While Snowball was ready, other yetis were not. Lots of yetis didn’t like getting a new king. They booed as he went on his way to the castle.
A quarter of the yeti army quit. The kingdom was in bad shape, until the old king heard about it.
He went outside and said “I am ashamed of each and every one of you. I put Snowball in charge for a reason. I will still be around. So quit your moaning. Long live the new king!” After that, everyone shaped up fast.
Snowball went into his office when his adviser came running in. He was panting. Finally, he said “sir, the riot that everyone caused triggered an avalanche. There is a hotel for climbers nearby, and they know something is up. What do you think we should do?”
Snowball started to think. He had a day, tops. He sounded the drums, but a different signal. It was the signal for everyone to come to the castle.
He told everyone the situation. Then he went to discuss with his advisers. Twenty minutes later, they walked out and informed everyone that they would bury the whole city in snow.
Meanwhile, all the humans were evacuating. They started down the mountain on the safest route. They were frantic to get down, but had to descend slowly. It would take them at least 6 hours to get down.
The group was continuing successfully when all of a sudden the guide fainted. One traveler ran to him. She took his pulse. “He’s alive” she said. “For now.”
5. More than an Avalanche
Patrick was packing for his trip to Hawaii. It was time for his vacation. His phone started to ring. It was Mr. Watson. “An avalanche happened. It started where the yetis are supposed to live!”
Patrick sighed. He called to cancel his vacation, and then came to work. They had videos of the avalanche on every TV in the lab. Patrick walked to Mr. Watson’s lab. But he never got there. It turns out that the yeti riot caused more than an avalanche.
Sirens started blaring. It was an earthquake. A voice came on the intercom telling everyone to evacuate. The fire alarm started. The sprinklers sprinkled. The building started to shake violently. Patrick, who was on the 50th floor, decided to take the elevator even though it wasn’t safe. He started down, when he was jerked to one wall. Then the other. He made it down just in time. He started running outside. Everyone else was in a corn field.
He started a head count. He was missing one person: Mr. Watson.
Meanwhile, across the world from them another type of crisis was happening. The guide had fainted. He started mumbling “Yeti-avalanche-Yeti-Coming-Danger” then fell back asleep. “Yeti” everyone started whispering.
6. Mr. Watson
Mr. Watson was stuck on the 11th floor. He was running down the stairs for so long and so fast that he fainted.
Patrick ordered everyone away from the building, which was not looking too sturdy at the time, and ran inside.
When he found Mr. Watson, he took his pulse. But he could not find it. Mr. Watson was having a heart attack.
Patrick tried to save him, but it was too late. The building started losing bricks left and right. Patrick grabbed Mr. Watson and jumped out of an open window. Someone called an ambulance. Patrick was unharmed. Mr. Watson was not. The ambulance got there. But it was too late.
Up in the Himalayas, the tour guide was having better luck. He woke up, good as new.
He sat up and said “an avalanche and an earthquake. Those were the first two signs of the yeti invasion long ago. It wiped out most of the human population. Then, for no reason at all, all the yeti warriors died leaving only kind yetis.”
“But that is not necessarily the case. The third sign was a huge blizzard. It is supposed to be beautiful all week.”
The group, realizing he was okay, went in search of a doctor all the same.
The doctor could not diagnose what it was. In the end, he concluded it was fear. Pure fear. The guide was recommended to take a vacation. He refused.
7. A New Invention
Snowball urged everyone to go faster. But it was hopeless. What they needed was real snow. Snowball went to the Book of Yeti to figure out how to summon snow.
There was nothing on making snow. Just cleaning it up. Snowball was in his office thinking when an inventor walked in. When Snowball looked at him, he started “I am Robert. I am the youngest inventor, and I think I have the solution to your problem.” He proceeded to get an invention out of a cardboard box. It was the size of a loaf of bread. At the top it had one tube that shot out snow. It had another tube on the bottom.
Robert quickly left. But not before he put an instruction manual on Snowball’s desk. Snowball started to read it. It said:
This machine does not create snow or water. It simply shoots it in the air. To start, put the orange tube in snow or water and aim the blue tube at where you want the snow/water to go. Press the red button to activate. When you want to turn the machine off, press the red button. Warning: This machine shoots snow quickly and could cause injury. Do not use this machine to shoot snow at someone.
Snowball decided to try it. He made everyone get into their home and get food and water. When everyone was situated, he started to use the machine to cover all the houses in snow. When he was done, he covered city hall with snow. He opened the door. The snow stuck because it was so cold.
And he started to wait.
Two days later, on April 22nd, Mr. Watson’s funeral started. Everyone from Developers and Discoverers came. So did Mr. Watson’s friends and family. It was a sad day. Many people blamed it on an earthquake. Patrick didn’t. He knew about the yetis. And he knew they did it.
When his funeral was over, he found Mr. Watson’s replacement waiting for him. He introduced himself as Paul. It turned out he was Mr. Watson’s son. He didn’t waste much time on introductions, though. What he said was this: “Right now there is a blizzard in the Himalayas.” Patrick went to his lab. When he got there, he turned on his computer.
The Himalayan mountain range was experiencing hurricane-force winds. It was really cold, and the Himalayan range was under a Blizzard Warning. A scientist on the mountain reported that he experienced second-degree frostbite in the time it took him to walk from the lab to his cabin.
However, not so long after Patrick returned to his lab, the storms stopped. They didn’t move away, they didn’t die down, they stopped. Just stopped.
On the base of Mount Everest, the tour guide stood, shocked. A yeti invasion was beginning.
He went to the government. They went to the United Nations. And they went to Patrick. Patrick verified that Yetis existed.
United Nations went into action. They evacuated the base of the Mountain. America sent soldiers. They stood in a circle, around the mountain.
Britain sent soldiers, but these soldiers were used to evacuate citizens. The United Nations went a step further. They declared that going within 20 miles of the mountain without permission was an international crime. They even made it a no-fly zone.
8. Done Waiting?
Snowball waited 20 days. No one showed up. But he was still worried. He had a plan. Fortunately, the soldiers were in the same building as him. He ordered them to build a tunnel under the city to each yeti’s house.
Finally, they could meet freely. But many people booed at Snowball. One said “I waited 20 days for nothing! Every time we make some noise, you evacuate?”
Snowball replied “we know the humans felt something. Humans are monsters. Who knows how many of us they might have dissected in the name of ‘Science.’ Humans ruined most of this planet. Who knows how long until they ruin our home.”
A hush fell over the crowd. Then, someone else said “that is a lie. Have you seen a human in your life? No. All we know about them comes from urban legends.”
“We’re urban legends” Snowball shouted. A big yeti, probably a head taller that Snowball, said
“How do we know we caused an avalanche?” Snowball’s face started getting red. “Because my scouts told me so” he screamed. “And, if I recall correctly, you are my head scout!”
The big yeti backed away, humiliated.
Snowball began to discuss with his people how long until they dig the city out. They decided on three days from today.
Patrick was furious. The yetis killed his new friend and destroyed his lab. He was going to Mount Everest.
He packed his bags and his lab tools and went to the airport. He managed to get tickets to a flight leaving in three hours. He looked out the window and saw Air Force One, the plane the president flew in.
When he got off the plane, he was surrounded by security. But when he saw Patrick, he ran toward him.
“An honor to meet you, Mr. President” Patrick said.
The president looked at him and said “I’m sorry about your friend. He was a good man. Where are you flying to?”
Patrick replied “I am going to New York, and connecting to India. I will then go to Mount Everest.”
“However, I do have quite a wait ahead of me.”
“Have you ever flown on a private plane” the president asked.
And just like that, Patrick was flying with the president to Mount Everest.
9. Out of Hiding = Unsafe
“Okay, we can start cleaning the snow up” said Snowball. His three days were up.
When they emerged from underground, they saw that the snow had melted! Everyone went about their business, as if they didn’t spend twenty-three days in hiding.
Snowball faced his next issue as yeti king- stealing from humans.
He and his advisers were meeting outside, along with the head of human relations.
The meeting started. Snowball started by saying “stealing from humans is wrong. We are just as bad as them. They steal land, we steal too. On the other hand, we get most of our materials from humans. And it doesn’t feel right to end a tradition.”
His head adviser said “I think humans are evil creatures and deserve to be stolen from.”
“Hold on a second” yelled the head of human relations. “Have you ever pretended to be a human, like I did? Humans are not too different from us!”
Snowball remembered almost being captured by a scientist as a young yeti. He told the council about it.
The meeting continued for several hours. When it was over, they hadn’t reached an agreement. They planned another meeting the next week.
After that Snowball was hungry. He walked to the base of the mountain to pick an apple. Or two. Or three. But then he saw a human who called himself Patrick.
10. Meeting a human
Snowball ran back to the castle, sounded the alarm, but Patrick arrived too soon. The army outnumbered Patrick, and tied him up. When he was inside, Snowball started to talk to Patrick.
“What do you want” asked Snowball.
“YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU HAVE CAUSED” roared Patrick. “YOU CAUSED AN AVALANCH, A BLIZZARD, AND AN EARTHQUAKE THAT KILLED SOMEONE. SO NOW DO YOU KNOW WHY I CAME UP HERE?” continued Patrick.
Snowball was silent. Finally, he said in a small voice “I didn’t know how much damage we caused. I am so sorry.”
Patrick looked confused. “You mean you didn’t mean to do this?” he asked.
“I would never do such a thing” Snowball said.
“Tell your people they are leaving tonight. You are going to the zoo.”
“Please, no” Snowball said. “This is the only safe place for us to live. I bet you couldn’t last as a yeti one year.”
“I bet I could” Patrick said.
And it was arranged that Patrick would live with the yetis for a whole year.
Back at Patrick’s company, there was little going on. Without their boss, there was not much to do. The assistant manager, Dr. Smith, gave everyone a vacation until Patrick returned. Today, a few scientists scrambled to wrap up their work. Everyone was anxious to go on vacation.
But that is not important right now. What is important is Patrick’s test. The same one that Snowball took. He will get his results in two weeks.
Patrick’s first test was weight lifting. He lifted an unusually low amount (at least among the yetis). Next he ran the obstacle course. It went on and on and on.
Finally, Snowball had the results. All the yetis voted. Patrick would become a king’s assistant.
Patrick was not happy about not being able to see his friends for a year, but he really needed to stay here.
He wondered how he would stay warm in the night. He tried using Yak Fur, but it was too cold. He tried making a fireplace, but he almost burned down his house. He decided to wear all his snow gear over his pajamas.
11. Another First Day on the Job
Patrick woke up Wednesday morning. He put on his new uniform. And then he went to Snowball’s apartment.
Snowball gave them all fresh fruit for breakfast. Patrick was surprised to see food that he actually liked on the mountain. He devoured his share quickly.
When everyone was done, Snowball split them in two groups. Patrick was in group one. Snowball told group one to supply all the citizens with water. Group two was told to gather more water. When they were done, they were to return for lunch.
But before group one left, Snowball told them “I want everyone to help Patrick. He is new at this, and needs some help.”
Patrick had twelve houses to deliver to. When he was done, the big sundial at the castle read 11:51. Patrick looked around. All the yetis were at the castle. He asked a member of his group what was going on.
“Patrick is holding another lunch buffet. He has them about twice a week.”
Patrick took some weird looking meat that everyone called “yak.” He also took some carrots. He didn’t know how they got there.
An hour later, everyone cleared out. Snowball asked Patrick and another yeti to help with the junior snowball fight.
On their way to the field, Patrick learned that the other yeti was named Tomas.
It was pretty easy to referee a snowball fight. They finished at three o’clock. Snowball gave them the rest of the day off.
Tomas told Patrick that there was a Snowball fight for adult yetis at four. Patrick didn’t come. He knew everyone would treat him differently.
One month after Patrick arrived on the mountain, there was a blizzard. Everyone dug a tunnel under the snow.
Tomas turned out to be in the same tunnel as Patrick. He said it was a routine blizzard. But it was over in a half an hour. Patrick looked outside. He saw a group of army men running by. He got out of the tunnel, and explained to them that they needed to leave. He lied that another blizzard was on the way.
When Snowball heard that Patrick would lie to his own kind to save the yetis, he gave Patrick a promotion. He made him chief adviser.
12. The Third First Day
Snowball had a meeting with all his advisers, including Patrick. He said “the first order of business is- oh.” He realized it was whether or not to steal from humans.
He quickly moved on to finding a cure to long-term hypothermia, a disease common among yetis. It is caused by weak fur letting in cold air. It is an inherited disease. Patrick compared it to cancer.
It first shows symptoms a month after it really starts. Even coats let in cold air. There is no known cure. It could cause death as early as within 6 months. On the other hand, many yetis have had it many years and are still doing fine.
They decided to hire more researchers to try to find a cure.
Patrick went outside. He saw the army troops. He quickly told them a caribou stampede was on the way. They left in a hurry.
When he got inside, Snowball was unconscious.
Patrick called the yeti doctors. They took him to the immediate care room. A day later, he emerged, still feeling terrible. Even though he was sick, he managed to do his duties as king.
Patrick had the day off. He realized he had been on the mountain for two months.
He realized his family must be worrying about him. So he took a two-week long journey to the base of the mountain. He mailed a letter saying he was fine.
When he got back to the top of the mountain, he saw the yetis digging tunnels. A blizzard was on the way. A big one.
13. The Blizzard
When the blizzard started, everyone was in an underground tunnel connected to each other. They had food and water. They all gathered to talk. Snowball started to give a speech. He said “thank you everyone for preparing so well for the blizzard. We are ready for anything.” Everyone cheered.
He continued “I want to take this time to talk about a new opening- meteorologist. When more yetis graduate school, it will be an available job. We will have three meteorologists in all.”
Everyone cheered again.
“I have met one yeti who proved himself worthy of this great new job. He used to work as one of my helpers. He is the one who predicted this blizzard. His name is Tomas!”
Patrick cheered the loudest of all. Tomas made a quick speech. He then went to his tunnel to study the blizzard. He invited Patrick to help him.
Patrick was honored. He recorded wind patterns, snow amounts, clouds, and other stuff for three hours. Then he went to sleep.
He awoke to the howling of the wind. The blizzard was still going. Stronger than ever. Tomas didn’t even study it because it was too dangerous.
But in the afternoon, it stopped. Everyone got out. Snowball had an emergency meeting with his advisers, including Patrick. Halfway through the meeting, Snowball fainted again. This time all seven yeti doctors came. They told Patrick “there is no point in not telling you. Snowball has Long-Term Hypothermia.”
Patrick was shocked. Here yetis faced problems just as great as humans do? Patrick couldn’t believe it.
Snowball knew about his disease for about a month. The doctor called it ‘the worst case he has ever seen.’
Snowball knew that, in the past, the disease has been fatal. He has also heard of survival stories. But, with his condition, it was unlikely that he will live another year.
After a yeti with long-term hypothermia has fainted twice, they are given surgery. There is a slim chance it will work, but it is always worth a try.
Snowball had his surgery on the first day of June, two months after hunting season.
It didn’t work. In fact, he was having more trouble than ever.
It was in the last week of June that the doctor informed him that he needed to assign a new king. On the first day of July he was to be moved to a permanent room in the hospital.
He couldn’t decide on the new king. He had all of his advisers who wanted to be king give a speech. Patrick wanted to be king. So did three other advisers.
Patrick won. His first act as king was to study long-term hypothermia. Taking patients to a warm location does not work, because cold air is still trapped in their fur.
14. Preparing for Winter
In October, it was time to prepare for winter. Patrick had to decide what food to gather. In the end, he chose apples and yak. They still had a little yak left from March, so they stored that too. They practiced blizzard drills weekly.
November came. So did December. No blizzards at all. January had a blizzard, but it turned out to be a tiny one. February, two months from when Patrick had to leave, the head doctor informed him something. Snowball probably would not make it to summer.
In February, a blizzard came. It was a horrible blizzard. It lasted two days. Tomas, the meteorologist, said there were two complete whiteouts, ones where you could not see anything more than an inch from your face. One was ten minutes. The other was three hours and seven minutes. When the blizzard was over, Snowball did not come out of his tunnel. He was brought out by the doctors. This time, all the doctors, scientists, and anyone trained in first aid came.
He woke up in March. He didn’t feel good. He was freezing all the time. He managed to tell Patrick what to do when Patrick’s stay on the mountain was over.
Finally, Snowball’s time was almost up. The doctors informed Patrick he had a week to live. During this time, he personally told every yeti good bye. On the first day of April, Patrick started packing. He asked Robert the Inventor to help him pack. Robert was the one who invented the snow machine.
When Robert saw Patrick packing Rogaine, he pointed at it, unable to speak. Patrick put it away. He said “so I’m going bald. Big deal.”
Robert said “I have an idea! Just give some to Snowball. It might help with his long-term hypothermia!”
So Patrick went into the hospital. Snowball was struggling to breathe. Patrick convinced the doctor to give him the Rogaine.
15. So, how did it End?
Within a week, Snowball made a full recovery. He was back to being the king. He was even able to hunt. Patrick left.
But not before telling Snowball good-bye. He gave Snowball the rest of his Rogaine, enough to cure long-term hypothermia for as long as Patrick lives. They remembered the bet they made a year ago, about Patrick not being able to live one year as a yeti. Patrick won, and Snowball gave him a life supply of yak meat.
He told the president he looked for a year, but found no yetis. He lied to protect the yetis.
It was because of this lie that Snowball and his people were able to live in peace.
Patrick went on to become head of the Animal Rights Committee.
And Snowball lived many happy years on Mount Everest. But, one night, he was caught in an avalanche and was never seen by the Yeti’s again. He was two hundred-twelve years old at the time. Not too bad for a yeti.
Author’s Note
This was my first book that was good enough to publish online. Please tell your friends about it (and, if you see Snowball, ask him if he liked the story.) This story is fiction. The Yeti is a creature that has not been proven to exist or not exist. Thank you for reading!