THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MIRROR
by James Tweed
Published by James Tweed at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 James Tweed
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
* * *
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Nancy (It's Only A Dream
Lightning Strikes
American Love
What Should I Do?
To A Special Friend
Rockin' And Rollin' -
Paradise
Rock And Roll Over
Hold On Till Tomorrow
Born Loser At Romance
Don't Say Goodbye
The Feeling Is . . .
Ace Of Hearts
Animalize
E.P.
Killer
Losing The Race
I Still Love You
A Heart-Felt Plea
Sky's On Fire
Rock 'N' Roll
The Duel
Happy Birthday
Wait
Does She, Or Doesn't He
Heavy Metal Medicine
Leaving
You Can't Take Me With You (I'm Sorry)
Nous Faisons Deux
Nightmare Of Love
Cos I Love You
Love At First Sting
(In A) Private Heaven
I Won't Forget You (For Leah, Every Time She Hears This)
You're Not With Me
Rock 'N' Roll Party
Fracture Mirror
School Life
Somebody
Follow The Bouncing Ball
Asylum
If To Know You Is To Love You (I Won't Ask Who You Are)
I Need To Know Your Love
This Ain't The Life
Victim Of The Terminator
King Fool
The Ultimate Reunion
Theatre Of Pain
Paranoid People
Unmasked
Dungeons & Dragons
Looks Can Be Deceiving
How I Miss You (Song For Liz)
Rockin' All Night
Crazy (You Got Me)
The Sounds Of Spring
Back In My Life
What A Dream
Greatest Hits
One False Move
I Don't Think
Paper Kiss
Samantha's Song
The Come Running (Helen)
Tease Me Easy
I Should've Listened To My Mother
69 C.C.
The Sky Touches Down
Young Thing
Navy Blues
I've Made Love
Bodyrock
I Had To Make A Choice
Samantha's Song 2 (Second Sighting)
Just One Kiss
The Other Side Of The Mirror
Angel (You Came Down From Above
I Think I Love You
If You Left Me
My Kisses, My Dreams (And All Of My Love
Love Is Blind (But I'm Not)
My Promise
Wanna Play?
FOREWORD
This book chronicles a chapter of my life between April 1983 and March 1996. Never being one to express what I feel openly, my writings became an outlet for my emotions.
The works contained herein were written from personal experiences, raw emotions and crazy ideas. Some were written just to get uncharacteristic thoughts out of my system.
Several girls touched my life in such a positive way that I have immortalized them in verse. They have been the inspiration for several poems or lyrics.
These poems and lyrics mirror a side of me that very few people, if any, have ever seen (hence the title). I now want to share myself with you.
This book is lovingly dedicated to all the women who have helped me grow up.
Thank you.
James
APRIL 1983 TO DECEMBER 1985
NANCY (IT'S ONLY A DREAM)
As the night fades away
The sky's ready for the morning light.
Sitting on your brass bed
We cling to each other, oh, so tight.
And we don't know if it's right.
When I awoke this morning
I was blinded by the sunlit gleam.
I realized I was alone.
It was so real or so it seemed.
But, babe, it was only a dream.
Nancy, I love you,
And I wish our meeting was real.
But Nancy, it's only a dream.
And here I sit just staring
At your picture; God! Your face is too
Beautiful for words alone.
Without you I'm so very blue;
I just wish to be with you.
Nancy, I love you,
And I wish I could meet you.
But, Nancy, it's only a dream.
Dreams are for believers;
And girl, I believe in you.
Help me, Nancy! I'm dreaming a dream!
It's only a dream!
Nancy, I love you,
And I'm dreaming of you, yes you.
But Nancy, it's only a dream.
(Author's note: I was infatuated with Nancy McKeon, an American actress best know for her role as "Jo" in The Facts of Life. Written 10 April 1983.)
LIGHTNING STRIKES
Lightning strikes from up above
Lightning strikes when you're in love
When I saw you a-walking
Down the side street
To myself I started talking
On how we'd meet
So I started following you
Gaining ground by bike
I yelled at you, "I love you!
Watch the lightning strike!"
Lightning strikes from up above
Lightning strikes when you're in love
I am the God of Thunder
C'mon, baby, smile
I don't want you to blunder
When walking my mile
Lightning strikes from up above
Lightning strikes when you're in love
Lightning struck me on the head
When I met you
Lightning put me in your bed
Babe, I love you
Lightning strikes from up above
Lightning strikes when you're in love
(Author's note: I really don't remember the inspiration behind this one. But, you can see the influence that KISS has on me. Written 1 May 1983.)
AMERICAN LOVE
From New York to L.A.
I've only got one thing to say
I loved you from the start
And now's no time for us to part
I should follow my heart
And we will never be apart
You are my destiny
And you have been my fantasy
The odyssey starts right now
I'm coming down from up above
To find my American Love
I wait so I can see
My beautiful Nancy
Now come on and love me
And don't stay so far above me
My Los Angeles girl
You're my American pearl
You are no longer my dream
I'm coming down from up above
To find my American Love
I wait so I can see
My beautiful Nancy
You're no longer a child
And your hazel eyes drive me wild
And now that I got you
I'll always have a pretty view
Of my American Love
I'm coming down from up above
To find my American Love
I wait so I can see
My beautiful Nancy
(Author's note: Another song for Nancy McKeon. Written 18 July 1983)
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I know you're frightened, Susan
But I don't know what to do
I went off by myself
And now I'm just more confused
You tell me that you need me
You're always there at home
I'm doing something else
And you can't make it alone
I don't have an answer
I'll be with you when I do
You know I love you, Baby
But, girl what should I do?
There's nobody to talk to
And I'm getting more confused
I sit here by myself
Not knowing what to do
You know I want to help you
With your problems and pregnancy
But I am just one man
Fighting ignorant me!
I don't have an answer
I'll be with you when I do
You know I love you, Baby
Oh, God, what should I do?
I think I've got an answer
To clear this stormy weather
I think that we should just
Work it out together
I now have an answer
I'll be with you very soon
You know I love you, Baby
Oh, Susan I love you
I'm coming home, Susan
(Author's note: In my last year of high school, some of my other classmates and I went for an extra credit in filmmaking. We came up with Teenagers of the '80s. We wrote the script, acted, directed, filmed and did everything during lunch, free periods and before and after school. This was to be sung by one of the characters after his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. Written 29 September 1983)
TO A SPECIAL FRIEND
For as long as I can remember,
You've been a special friend.
And every night I hope and pray
Our friendship will never end
Knowing that you love me, and care for me,
Helps me get through each day.
And through each day I realize we're
Special friends all the way.
The angel inside me says you're good,
Though Satan says you're bad.
But as far as I'm concerned, you're the
Best friend I've ever had.
And friends will be there through thick and thin
To help in any way.
With special friends so hard to come by,
You've not led me astray.
So now you see that everything I
Said is so very true.
And everyone would be better off
With special friends like you.
(Author's note: I've had so few true friends in my life. I believe I wrote this for my best friend that I hadn't seen for eight years, at that point. Written 8 December 1983)
ROCKIN' AND ROLLIN'
I'm gonna spend my time
Rockin' and rollin'
So much time
Rockin' and rollin
I'm gonna rock 'n' roll tonight
I'm gonna rock like this
Rockin' and rollin'
Roll like this
Rockin' and rollin'
I'm gonna rock 'n' roll all night
We need more time to rock
More time to roll
Right?
Are you ready to rock?
Ready to roll?
You're gonna rock all night
Rockin' and rollin'
Roll all night
Rockin' and rollin'
You're gonna rock 'n' roll all right
We're gonna spend our time
Rockin' and rollin'
All our time
Rockin' and rollin'
We're gonna rock 'n' roll . . . all night long!
(Author's note: I love rock 'n' roll! Written 24 December 1983)
PARADISE
Paradise
You put me in paradise
Seeing you sends me to
Paradise
Won't you lay your head down
On my shoulder
I promise you the night
Won't get colder
Let me gaze deep into
Your angel-eyes
Then, my love, we'll journey
To paradise
Paradise
You put me in paradise
Seeing you sends me to
Paradise
But the minute that you
Say goodbye
Our paradise will be lost
Forever
Paradise
You put me in paradise
Seeing you sends me to
Paradise
(Author's note: Hunh??? A nod to "Dream On" by the Oak Ridge Boys. Written 9 April 1984)
ROCK AND ROLL OVER
There's something 'bout the way you look
That drives me very crazy
And when you strut right on by me
My eyes cloud over hazy
When you flash that shy smile at me
I start to quiver and shake
And when you bat your baby blues
You get the whole world to quake
Rock and roll over
Baby, I love you
Rock and roll over
Do you love me, too?
We met one night at a party
Two people sitting alone
We then stood up and danced all night
We never did make it home
It was the start of something good
Babe, we've got to let it show
But before we shout it to the world
There's just one thing I got to know
Rock and roll over
Baby, I love you
Rock and roll over
Do you love me, too?
(Author's note: Besides the obvious salute to KISS, this was probably just my over-active imagination. Written 18 April 1984)
HOLD ON TILL TOMORROW
You're moving away, you're leaving me
But I'm not one to cry
I love you too much to let go
So I know I have to try to hold on
(Hold on till tomorrow)
The days are coming and going
But still my heart keeps on beating
But the one day will come, Darlene
When we will be greeting each other
Once again
So please hold on till tomorrow
When we will reunite
Keep dreaming of me, Lady
It's gonna be alright
And when tomorrow comes around
And I get to be with you
We may spend our lives together
No long feeling blue
I love you
So please hold on till tomorrow
When we will reunite
Keep dreaming of me, Lady
It's gonna be alright
(Author's note: Written for my fiancé at the time, this was the first thing I wrote that was put to music. Thank you, Blair. Written 2 July 1984)
BORN LOSER AT ROMANCE
I just can't seem to get it right
There must be something wrong
'Cause when I think it's going good
I find out that she's gone
I'd ask her to go out with me
She'd ask to think it out
She then says no and gives her excuse
It makes me want to shout
I'm a born loser at romance
I just can't seem to win
If she would have given me a chance
Then I would not have been a
Born loser at romance
Baby, will you see me tonight?
I'll show you a good time
Say that you will go out with me
Then watch as my life shines
I'm a born loser at romance
I just can't seem to win
If she would have given me a chance
Then I would not have been a
Born loser at romance
(Author's note: Frustration with the dating scene. Written 5 August 1984)
DON'T SAY GOODBYE
When I sing a love song
I think of you
When I know that I'm wrong
I still love you
But when you go away
And not say goodbye
It's things like that you do
That make me want to cry
Please baby don't say goodbye
I don't want you to leave me
I'm telling you the truth, girl
Oh, why can't you believe me
Don't tell me goodbye
Don't you leave me alone
Babe it's not right
Don't you do it, you've go me
Running into the night
Chasing after you
Please baby don't say goodbye
I don't want you to leave me
I'm telling you the truth, girl
Oh, why can't you believe me
Don't tell me goodbye
(Author's note: It's funny looking back at this 26 years after writing it. I can remember the reason behind a lot of my writing, but this one is just drawing a huge blank. Written 7 August 1984)
THE FEELING IS . . .
Sometimes I get this feeling
During the day; sometimes at night.
But it's always the same feeling
That plays its tricks on my sight.
It never fails that this thing
Interferes with what I do
But this feeling only strikes
When, girl, I'm thinking of you.
The feeling is love.
The feeling is mutual.
Every time I look at you
I get a strange sensation.
I know that I love you so.
It's not infatuation.
Something I often hear is
"I Was Made For Loving You".
That's what you keep telling me.
I believe it cos it's true.
The feeling is love
The feeling is mutual
I can see your face clearly
Throughout the night when I dream.
I love you so very much;
We're like islands in a stream.
The feeling is love.
The feeling is mutual.
(Author's note: Aside from the KISS references, this was written to be a duet. Interesting thought process in writing it! Written 12 August 1984)
ACE OF HEARTS
You see me wearing lightning bolts
And you think I'm kinda strange
I'm dressed in red, black, blue and white
But girl I don't want to change
The teenage girls scream out my name
They love me very much
And just because I'm a big star
I know they just want to touch
The Ace of Hearts; that is my new name
The Ace of Hearts; this ain't some kind of game
I'm the Ace of Hearts
My rock and roll fantasy lives
I'm belting out songs on stage
And just because I love it loud
They put me in a cage
The Ace of Hearts; that is my new name
The Ace of Hearts; this ain't some kind of game
I'm the Ace of Hearts
The atmosphere is really hot
And I'm tired after the show
But driven by my wild fans' love
I will always rock and roll! Come on!
The Ace of Hearts; that is my new name
The Ace of Hearts; this ain't some kind of game
I'm the Ace of Hearts
(Author's note: Delusions of grandeur. And again with the KISS references! Written 20 September 1984)
ANIMALIZE
When I see the tigers in the zoo
Babe I think of you
You make wanna scream in ecstasy
I love you so much
The way that you touch
Babe let me fulfill my fantasy
Girl you got to
Animalize! Animalize me baby
Animalize! You make my animal instincts show
Well babe, you put under the gun
We'll have some fun
Ripping the hides off each other
With chains and leather whips
And very loose lips
You ain't a warrior with another
So come on and
Animalize! Animalize me baby
Animalize! Thrill me under the moon
You animalize me with fiery eyes
Give it to me!
Animalize! Animalize me baby
Animalize! Do it in the jungle
Animalize! Animalize! Animalize!
(Author's note: When I heard that KISS's Animalize was being released in 1984, I started singing what I thought the chorus to the title track was going to be. I was disappointed that there was no song called "Animalize" on the album. So I wrote it on 23 September 1984.)
E.P.
She stands six feet tall with hair of brown,
And she hails from a big Quebecois town.
She owns a cat and a dog named Duchess,
But that's no reason to like her any less.
French is the language of her choice,
And she would like to own a Rolls-Royce.
At 18, she knows what she wants to do:
Be a doctor and help make people like new.
Drummondville's Elpotte is a pretty young girl,
Whose face gives off a glow just like a pearl.
She's a great person to know and have as a friend,
But I can't say anymore 'cause this is the end.
KILLER
Volleyball seems to be her sport
See her standing at the net?
She's a twenty-one year old terror on the court
She wants to win, that I'll bet
She's all revved up and raring to go
Her serves will strike fear in your heart
And from just the way she looks at you
You'd swear that she'd tear you apart
A French, blonde-haired beauty is D.P.
But that won't interfere with her reign
The match has ended with a loss for a team
And the Killer has won again
(Author's note: Both "E.P." and "Killer" were written for friends of mine. And both were written 26 September 1984.)
LOSING THE RACE
You've been told to burn in Hell
Some wanna dance on your face
You're gonna learn it well
That you're losing this race
The human race ain't an easy one
But you have to do your best
You will know if you've won
Only after you've taken the test
You're losing the race of humanity
Only if you win will you keep your sanity
You can drive as fast as you want
But you won't ever get there
Always under the gun
The state police will be in your hair
You're losing the race of humanity
Only if you win will you keep your sanity
The human race ain't an easy one
But you have to do your best
You will know if you've won
Only after you've taken the test
(Author's note: Those veiled KISS references surface again. There's even a Twisted Sister reference here. Written 11 November 1984)
I STILL LOVE YOU
When I looked out the window,
I saw your face
And the memories of our childhood.
What you wrote in your letters
Came back to me,
As if I read them for the first time.
I guess this tells me something
That I've known all along . . .
That I still love you.
The wind's howling through the trees
So very shrill.
Just listening to it makes me cold.
Maybe there's still a spark --
Just waiting
To be stirred into a raging flame.
You should read the cards, Baby,
And then you will see . . .
That I still love you.
(Author's note: After ten years without seeing my oldest, dearest, bestest friend in the world, I got to spend Christmas with her and her family. The old crush stirred up; but I quickly found out that while I had pined for her, she was living her own life. Written 27 December 1984)
A HEART-FELT PLEA
Jealousy invades where it's not wanted;
It's burning up my brain.
Before you did it, the sun did shine.
Now, it's starting to rain.
I don't know why you did it to me . . .
You told me that you liked me.
You spend more time with another guy.
Girl -- you drive me crazy.
You've got to make up your mind;
It's either him, or me.
Why don't you tell me what's going on?
You gotta make me see.
It seems the time we spent together
Was when we've been drinking.
Now don't get me wrong -- it's been a slice.
But it's got me thinking.
Our non-drinking time was spent
Exchanging glances
That said to each other what we felt.
And then there's the dances.
The music's speed didn't matter:
Up-tempo or slow.
We danced so romantically close;
Neither wanted to go.
But now it's just a mem'ry,
The good times we shared.
How about telling me that I'm wrong,
And that you really care?
(Author's note: This poem, when showed to the girl in question, really opened up a dialogue between us that pin-pointed the problem. A misunderstanding created the rift, but things never got back to what was there before. Written 29 January 1985)
SKY'S ON FIRE
So many men you've seen before
The different kinds you hunt
I hope when your head stops spinning 'round
Your face will end up in front
But when you come to realize
That I'm what you're looking for
You will take me in forever and
You'll not put me out the door
You are the sparks; and I've got desire
When you're with me
The sky's on fire
Until you're sure you got me
Don't call me your Loverboy
I want you to know I've got feelings
And that I'm not some kind of love toy
You are the spark; and I've got desire
When you're with me
The sky's on fire
(Author's note: A poor attempt at a tribute to "Heaven's On Fire" by KISS. Written 18 February 1985)
ROCK 'N' ROLL
Walking the streets late at night
Basking in the glow of the neon lights
This is where I come alive
No work for me, no nine to five
In the silence and the dark
The music comes and hits the mark
You can hear the fatal shot
It's burning now and I'm getting hot
The music moves through my veins
I can feel it
The sensation drives me wild
There's no escaping
Rock and roll! It's here to stay
Rock and roll! It's my pride
Rock and roll! Is here to stay
Rock and roll! You can't hide
It's the only food for me
It's my only sensuality
Can't you see love ain't the same?
And rock 'n' roll is to blame
The music moves through my veins
I can feel it
The sensation drives me wild
There's no escaping
Rock and roll! It's here to stay
Rock and roll! It's my pride
Rock and roll! Is here to stay
Rock and roll! You can't hide from rock 'n' roll
(Author's note: I love rock 'n' roll! Written 27 February 1985)
THE DUEL
Winter has come . . . and gone
Time now stands still
Yet my heart keeps beating
Against nature's own will
The white sands lay undisturbed
The seagulls are suspended in flight
The wind moves not a single leaf
And I am left to fight
My foe I don't know
Nor can I see whom I face
Not a sound is in the air
Save for my own heart's pace
Still I see not mine enemy
But I know he is near
I sense his very presence
Though no sound do I hear
* * *
Death came quickly
I now don't have to worry about him
Nor he, me
For I am dead
(Author's note: Here's another where I can't remember the inspiration. Written 27 February 1985)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
The clock's ticking can be heard
Over the noise of the party.
Ah! The party.
A few friends who use this
As an excuse to have a drink
And laugh and get drunk
And forget about it all
In the morning.
The clock is sounding midnight and
The crowd shouts, "Happy Birthday!"
Ah, yes . . . . My birthday.
One day out of the year
That marks the number of
Years of my very
Existence on this planet
We call Earth.
But isn't there more to it than that?
Isn't a birthday supposed to
Be a joyous occasion when
Family and friends get together to wish
The lucky person good luck and joy
In the years to come?
Yes.
That is what a birthday was to
Me in the past.
And now, in the present, and forever
More,
Let's let a birthday be as
It was in the past: Joyous.
Happy Birthday!
(Author's note: Wow! How depressing! This was my first birthday celebrated without my family being present. Written 28 February 1985)
WAIT
The waiting is killing me.
Two days remain until
The glorious day I wait for
Each year. I try patiently to
Wait as time slips by seemingly
Unnoticed.
Phone calls from well-wishers
Ring through the house. The
Constant tick-tock, tick-tock
Of the old grandfather clock
Slowly drives me insane . . .
And back again to sanity
Cards and letters from family
And friends fill the mailbox
To overflowing. All convey the
Same happy birthday wishes
For joy, laughter, and the
Best of luck for the years
To come.
Now -- only seconds remain
Until the time to celebrate
My 19th birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.
(Author's note: Not as depressing as "Happy Birthday" above. Written 28 February 1985)
DOES SHE, OR DOESN'T HE
She's got a certain something about her
He likes her a lot, but what has she got?
I don't know.
I don't know about that pretty girl
I heard that she tools with all kinds of fools
I wanna know
Does she, or doesn't he?
It's what love is about
But does she, or doesn't he?
I just gotta find out
I sure could love a girl like that one
She's out every night, the feeling is right
I wanna go
I wanna show him
I can love her, feel her
And make her wanna live
And she can make it, take it
Take all I can give . . . and more
Does she, or doesn't he?
It's what love is about
But does she, or doesn't he?
I just gotta find out
(Author's note: Not wanting to be pigeon-holed into a particular style for writing poems and lyrics, I dabbled a little. Another slight nod to KISS. Written 4 March 1985)
HEAVY METAL MEDICINE
Everyone's gone insane
Playing life's little game
The music is out of control
And it's taking its toll
Keep on moving your feet
To that heavy metal beat
It'll straighten you right up
Or it'll fuck you up
Heavy metal medicine
Heavy metal medicine
It's blasting loud through your ears
Lasting for a thousand years
It's heavy metal medicine
The maniac's got the axe
And he's coming your way
Doncha worry, turn the power up
And blow him away
Heavy metal medicine
Heavy metal medicine
It's blasting loud through your ears
Lasting for a thousand years
It's heavy metal medicine
(Author's note: My brother and a friend of his wanted to start a band; I was to be the lead singer. They picked this song as a starting point. Eventually, they only wanted me to be their lyricist. At the time, it wasn't enough for me. Written 17 March 1985)
LEAVING
Saying goodbye is hard to do
It's something I don't want to face
A family of friends we've grown to be
And now we're leaving this place
We're returning to our homes
Maybe I'll see you again
But after we fly out of here
Things will never be the same
I don't want to say goodbye
You guys mean so much to me
The good times and bad
The happy and sad
Will always live in my memory
I'll be back in the Wicked 'Peg
To face life in the same rut
Leaving the group behind will
Surely play havoc with my gut
Back to days in the city
Without Danielle, or Steve
No jokes from Leah, or wit from Greg
Cos now it's time for us to leave
Maybe once again we'll meet
In another place, another time
We'll laugh and cry
Recount days gone by
And never again say goodbye
(Author's note: I spent nine wonderful months with a group of strangers who became friends on Katimavik, a government-sponsored youth program. This was written days prior to us going home. Written 17 April 1985)
YOU CAN'T TAKE ME WITH YOU
(I'M SORRY)
I'm sorry, Babe
But you're moving back
And though we had some good times
together
I'm afraid
You can't take me with you
I truly am, girl
But you're returning home
And though we love each other a lot
I fear that
You can't take me with you
You will always love me
And I will you
But we will be so far apart
And you can't take me with you
I'm sorry
Lady
But you can't
Take me with you
(Author's note: Long-distance relationships seldom work. I know. Written 16 May 1985)
NOUS FAISONS DEUX
Ma chérie est très jolie
Et je l'aime avec tout mon cœur
I can see that she loves me
Mais elle sait que j'ai peur
J'ai peur d'elle, oui, de ma belle
Et j'aurais pu me tuer
Je suis honteux et malheureux
Ma chère et moi avons un problème
Embrasse-moi
Regarde dans mes yeux
Vivre comme un, mais
Ensemble nous faisons deux
Vis ta vie avec moi, ma fille
Car je t'aime avec tout mon cœur
Quand tu es avec moi, chérie
Tu sais que je n'ai pas peur
Embrasse-moi
Regarde dans mes yeux
Rappelle-toi que
Ensemble nous faisons deux
Ensemble nous faisons deux
Mais quand nous nous embrassons
Nous faisons un
Embrasse-moi
Regarde dans mes yeux
Vivre comme un, mais
Ensemble nous faisons deux
(Author's note: My attempt at writing in French. Written 30 May 1985)
NIGHTMARE OF LOVE
Part 1 - As You Sit There
Some girls don't hold a candle to you.
Some girls won't hold a candle for you.
Blackness begins to envelop you
As you sit high on your throne.
But as you sit there
In the middle of the circle,
Alone with the spirits of Stonehenge,
You know you're not alone.
There begins our never-ending journey.
The night is shrouded by an air of mystery.
The only light is the fire in your hand.
No one is there with whom to talk.
But as you sit there,
Alone with the spirits of Stonehenge,
You're fully aware of it all.
And the creatures of the night begin to stalk.
You cannot escape your fate;
The chains that bind you forbid that.
You are the virgin, the blood he seeks.
As they close around you . . . closer . . .
And closer . . .
You scream!
Part 2 - As the Fire Died
. . . Then you pass out.
You remember nothing from that point;
But I will tell you what had happened,
For I was there.
As the fire in your hand died
Tiny night creatures called "fellini" surrounded
you.
They began biting you, gnawing at your face,
your legs, breasts.
They became entangled in your hair.
As the fire in your hand died
Lightning flashed and thunder roared.
Hideous laughter echoed between the trilithons
As a dark figure loomed over you.
Then a blinding white light beamed from behind the
Altar Stone;
She had made her presence known.
As her name escaped his lips, she
Drew her bow and let fly a silver arrow.
He fell, as the fired died also.
Part 3 - The Hero
And then you wake up from the nightmarish hell
Your mind has created
To find that you are alone
In the middle of a circle.
The fire in you hand is dead.
Gone are the spirits of Stonehenge.
The chains no longer bind you
And lay they now at your feet.
You stand, and steal a few steps.
You sense a presence that is not your own.
Slowly, you turn around, and there, standing
bold and delicate,
You see the hero who has saved you from Hell.
You fall to your knees and raise your hands in
prayer:
"For you, I will remain forever pure."
And you present her with a gift.
And until you die, you worship her there, your
promise kept.
Part 4 - Epilogue
In Stonehenge today,
No longer worshipped is
Artemis, virgin goddess of the moon.
(Author's note: My "epic". A blending of mythologies and my imagination; and, of course, the KISS reference. Written 7 June 1985)
COS I LOVE YOU
I got a never-ending love
And it's for you
But you're in no rush
To make it me and you
Words can't say what I feel for you
Don't think I'm infatuated
Cos being so far apart
Makes me so frustrated
Cos I love you
And I want you
And you and me
And I want you
Cos I love you
Do you love me
I don't want another woman
It's only you for me
So if you will wait
I'll show you you won't be sorry
Cos I love you
And I want you
And you and me
And I want you
Cos I love you
Do you love me
I dream of you, and think of you
And you wonder why
I live for you, and I want you, too
You know I'm your guy
Cos I love you
And I want you
And you and me
And I want you
Cos I love you
Do you love me
(Author's note: Besides the unrequited love, I don't remember what or who this was about. Written 16 June 1985)
LOVE AT FIRST STING
From the first time I laid eyes on you
I knew it was you
I stuck around to get what I found
But it was all wrong
I asked you out, all we did was shout
And you said, "Get lost!"
But it's love
Love at first sting
Yes it's love
Love at first sting
You don't want me in your life no more
You evened the score
But I won't quit, so you better sit
And listen to me
Do what you can to keep me your man
I will tell you why
Cos it's love
Love at first sting
Yes it's love
Love at first sting
You know it's love
Love at first sting
Yes it's love
Love at first sting
(Author's note: I enjoyed taking album titles with no associated song and making one. This one is from the Scorpions. Written 19 June 1985)
(IN A) PRIVATE HEAVEN
We met a long time ago in another life
We used to be husband and wife
We lived not in the city but in the wood
Just to survive we did what we could
But Fate just did her thing
And we were left to sing
In a private heaven
Today we live in a different place
A modern town with a modern face
In the mid-city we heard a rebel yell
That returned us to our memoric hell
Again Fate did her thing
And left us here to sing
In a private heaven
(Author's note: Sheena Easton's album A Private Heaven provided the title for this one. Reincarnation is something I believe. Written 19 July 1985)
I WON'T FORGET YOU
(FOR LEAH, EVERY TIME SHE HEARS THIS)
Here I am, alone again
Sitting in my easy chair
I long to be with you
I wish that I was there
To feel your touch just one more time
And maybe forever
Outside the crickets chirp
Inside, music plays
While I dream of you
And I stare at your picture for days
God! I miss you
But I won't forget you
I promise you that
I won't forget you
All the fun times we had
Still live in my head
And at night they come alive
While I lie in my bed
The clock on the wall
Continues to keep the time
It will reach infinity
Before me
God! I miss you
But I won't forget you
I promise you that
I won't forget you
Listen to me babbling on
And on . . . I gotta stop
Before I go insane
I'll think of you again and again . . .
(Author's note: I haven't forgotten. Written 1 September 1985)
YOU'RE NOT WITH ME
If you could see my satin sheets
You'll wonder why they're stained so
Well, I'm keeping a secret from you
I cry when you're not with me
Every night I lie awake
And I think about you
My love for you is your love for me
And I cry myself to sleep
Cos girl, you're not with me
If you could see my satin sheets
You'll wonder why they're stained so
There's one thing you should know
I cry when you're not with me
I cry and I cry . . .
When you're not with me
(Author's note: Sentimental crap. Written 10 September 1985)
ROCK 'N' ROLL PARTY
Are you ready to rock and roll!?!
Put on your party shirt
We're doing it all tonight
Turn up the music loud
Cos we're gonna do it alright
Bring your friends
Then bring some more
We'll party all night
When we hit the floor
Cos it's gonna be a
Rock and roll party
Rock and roll party
It's a rock and roll party
C'mon and rock!
We're gonna dance
And dance and dance
Till you say I can
Get into your pants
Bring your friends
Then bring some more
We'll party all night
When we hit the floor
Cos it's gonna be a
Rock and roll party
Rock and roll party
It's a rock and roll party
C'mon and rock!
You know we gonna have ourselves
A rock and roll party!
(Author's note: Yet another nod to KISS. Written 27 October 1985)
FRACTURED MIRROR
Cobwebs in the doorway
Screeches in the air
Shivers run up and down your spine
The floorboards creak and there's
Bats in the belfry
And you wonder if it's really mine
Cos this old house on the hill
Is neither there nor here
And through the door, down the hall
You'll see a fractured mirror
A full moon sweeps the hill
Tombstones suck the light
You walk less with caution, more with fear
Goose-flesh tickles your skin
Your hair stands on end
As you feel a presence very near
But this old house on the hill
Is neither there nor here
And through the door, down the hall
You'll see a fractured mirror
So many years went by
Since the day I died
And you had to see it one more time
Cos this old house on the hill
Is neither there nor here
And you walked through the door, down the hall
And you saw me in the fractured mirror
If you visit the old house on the hill
Walk through the door, and down the hall
You, too, may see me in the fractured mirror.
(Author's note: One of Ace Frehley's great instrumentals. I couldn't not try it; plus it was Halloween. Written 31 October 1985)
SCHOOL LIFE
I got a time table to keep
I got no time to sleep
Teacher's talking off my ear
Saying something I can't hear
I got to study
Do my homework right
Got a test to write tomorrow
This is school life - school life
I got no time for my friends
The work never ends
All my notebooks piled up high
If 'tweren't for school I'd die
I got no money
But things to spend it on
Need my education for work
This is school life - school life
I got to study
Do my homework right
Need my education for work
This is school life
School life
(Author's note: I tagged along with my best friend from school as he attended classes at university. I wrote this in the lecture hall. Written 8 November 1985)
SOMEBODY
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody's watching me with their eyes
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody wants me to say goodbye
I hear you're fooling around
Seeing somebody else
While I just play your clown
Sitting on your shelf
But I know it can't be true
'Cause you love me and I love you
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody's watching me with their eyes
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody wants me to say goodbye
You deny the accusations
I don't wanna leave you
I don't play infatuations
Who do you believe 'cause
I know you're telling the truth
'Cause you love me and I love you
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody's watching me with their eyes
Somebody is telling me lies
Somebody wants me to say goodbye
(Author's note: I don't remember what was happening when I wrote this. I think somebody was trying to play me for a fool, but I don't know who the players were. Written 25 November 1985)
FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALL
All right now, listen up
If you're not sure
What you should do
And people are getting you down
I got the cure
I know what to do
To keep you from being a clown
Do what I say
Take my advice
And you'll never, ever
Have to think twice
Follow the bouncing ball, boys
And you'll learn all the moves
Follow the bouncing ball, boys
You'll hit all of the grooves
Just follow the bouncing ball
If you don't know
All of the words
How are you gonna sing this song?
I got the way
I know what to do
So you can follow along
Do what I say
Take my advice
And you'll never, ever
Have to think twice
Follow the bouncing ball, boys
And you'll learn all the moves
Follow the bouncing ball, boys
You'll hit all of the grooves
Just follow the bouncing ball
(Author's note: One night, I had a dream that Twisted Sister was performing this song, complete with the music video with the words appearing at the bottom of the screen and that bouncing ball following along. Dee Snider was chasing the ball all over the stage, the other band members were trying to hit it with their guitars. It was hilarious! When I got up in the morning, I wrote out the lyrics on 31 December 1985.)
JANUARY 1986 TO MARCH 1996
ASYLUM
People in white coats stalk the halls
And I'm locked in a padded cell
They got me wearing straight jackets
So I can't get to hell
I live in a mental ward now
And they call me "Crazy 8"
I went insane for lack of love
And cos I couldn't get a date
Only your love
Can save me from
The Asylum
People don't want to talk to me
And they don't wanna take my time
They think I'm severely psycho
But they don't know the truth
I went insane for lack of love
I live in a mental ward now
You don't know what I'm thinking of
Baby, keep me from feeling low
Only your love
Can save me from
The Asylum
(Author's note: The KISS album, Asylum, had no title track. Another inspiring title. Written 7 January 1986)
IF TO KNOW YOU IS TO LOVE YOU
(I WON'T ASK WHO YOU ARE)
We met two years ago
But I saw you before in my dreams
You wonder how can this be
Well it's as easy as it seems
And if to know you is to love you
I won't ask who you are
We lived together
And we knew each other very well
Girl, the time together
Was a cross between heaven and hell
But if to know you is to love you
I won't ask who you are
If to know you is to love you
I won't ask who you are
(Author's note: I've experienced a couple instances of déjà vu. That's where this came from. KISS reference alert! Written 9 January 1986)
I NEED TO KNOW YOUR LOVE
Last night I dreamt of us
It was the first time we kissed
We were so in love, girl
Makes me wonder what we missed
I felt your kiss
I tasted it
I knew your love
It felt so warm
I felt so warm all over
Touch me; I need to feel your touch
Hold me; I want you to hold me
Kiss me; I need to feel your kiss
Love me; I need to know your love
Today, you're telling me
I got no more chances with you
Now I'm gonna tell you
I'm gonna keep on loving you
I want your kiss
I need it bad
I need your love
To keep me warm
So I feel warm all over
Touch me; I need to feel your touch
Hold me; I want you to hold me
Kiss me; I need to feel your kiss
Love me; I need to know your love
Girl, you're all that I want
I don't need anyone else
I'll remain celibate
'Til I'm taken off your shelf
Touch me; I need to feel your touch
Hold me; I want you to hold me
Kiss me; I need to feel your kiss
Love me; I need to know your love
(Author's note: The music magazines used to have ads to turn your poems into songs and to have them put on a record. This was my contribution to one. Contracts, money paid; it was a great learning experience. I also received a royalty cheque for $5.00! References to KISS and REO Speedwagon included. Written 31 January 1986)
THIS AIN'T THE LIFE
Yeah, well
I tried my hand at living
On my own
Away from home
It was a bad mistake
I was just about broke
Gone away
With no place to stay
Living off charity
Well this ain't the life
This ain't what I was looking for
Oh! This ain't the life for me
I said
I'd die before I'd try
Hell, welfare
No Medicare
Well they ain't taking me
So I'm gonna move back home
Friends and me
And family
Till it's time to try again
Cos this ain't the life
This ain't what I was looking for
Oh! This ain't the life for me
(Author's note: The best way to learn is by experience. It's nice to know my parents won't throw me out. Written 4 February 1986)
VICTIM OF THE TERMINATOR
You've been targeted
(You're next on the list)
For termination
(He ain't never missed)
You're the next to die
(You're next on the list)
You'll never survive
(He ain't never missed)
Are you afraid?
Are you petrified with fear?
Can you feel your
Heart pounding? Can you hear it?
Get ready to take your last breath, cos . . .
You've been targeted
(You're next on the list)
For termination
(He ain't never missed)
You're the next to die
(You're next on the list)
You'll never survive
(He ain't never missed)
He can't be stopped
He's gonna keep on coming
Till you are dead
Can you hear your heart pounding?
You've breathed your last
You've been targeted
(You're next on the list)
For termination
(He ain't never missed)
You're the next to die
(You're next on the list)
You'll never survive
(He ain't never missed)
You hear the footsteps beating against the concrete
Each step strikes terror in your heart
As he comes closer and closer
And you realize
You've been targeted
(You're next on the list)
For termination
(He ain't never missed)
You're the next to die
(You're next on the list)
You'll never survive
(He ain't never missed)
(Author's note: A tribute to the James Cameron movie, Terminator, and written with Twisted Sister in mind. Written 5 February 1986)
KING FOOL
Last night I heard you having sex
The paper thin walls couldn't hide
The secrets you tried to hide from me
At first I enjoyed your moans of ecstasy
While you played out your fantasy
Then I turned right around and hated you
But you know something?
I'm gonna keep my promise
Just call me King Fool
Cos I still love you
You know even though I'm a fool
There's a limit to my folly
And that limit is a pretty girl
If she can pick me up the way you did
I'll walk out the door, Honey
And never darken your doorstep again
Until then you know
I'm gonna keep my promise
Just call me King Fool
Cos I still love you
(Author's note: Did you notice the quote from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Yeoman of the Guard? Written 6 February 1986)
THE ULTIMATE REUNION
Storm clouds gather
but do not barricade the
impending reunion.
The sky grows black;
no ray of light penetrates
the evil colour.
Apollo doesn't try to interfere.
Nor does Artemis, his twin sister.
Animals scurry to find shelter.
The rain starts to fall on the lakes.
Water meets water.
(Author's note: That's deep. Pardon the pun. Written 7 February 1986)
THEATRE OF PAIN
I'm being drawn into a vacuum
Being forced to lose my mind
I'm losing all sense of direction
I'm losing all track of time
I'm sitting down in a bright white room
Just staring at the four walls
I ain't got a single thing to do
I can't even walk the halls
Can someone rescue me
From this theatre of pain
And put me in the real
World of sunshine and rain
Bright lights shine 24 hours a day
No noises invade my ears
No windows and nothing to look at
Been so long it feels like years
I haven't anything to live for
Slowly being put to death
If there ain't no one who can save me
I'm gonna take my last breath
Can someone rescue me
From this theatre of pain
And put me in the real
World of sunshine and rain
(Author's note: The Motley Crue album, Theatre of Pain, provided the title. Written 3 March 1986)
PARANOID PEOPLE
Paranoid people
Paranoia strikes fear
Into the hearts of millions
Paranoid people
Paranoia makes them
Think the worst of strangers
Paranoid people
I hope this never
Happens to me; I hate
Paranoid people
Who think the worst of me
I like people who like me
I like them
I love people who love me
I love them
I hate people who hate me
I hate them
Like me or love me cos
I don't want to hate you
It's a give and take situation
(Author's note: This was written out of anger. I spent one week as a door-to-door salesman. One house I had knocked at actually called the police on me because they feared I wanted to case their home for a robbery. I had always been a goody-goody and polite; never in trouble with the law. This was a great shock to me. Written 8 March 1986)
UNMASKED
I'm unmasking my feelings
For the first time
I'm unmasking my feelings
Because you're mine
I cried myself to sleep
I cried on your shoulder
I tried to sleep last night
I tried to be bolder
(He's unmasked at last)
In the darkness, I'm afraid
I showed to you my fear
But I feel more at ease
Babe, when I hold you near
I'm unmasking my feelings (unmasked)
For the first time (at last)
I'm unmasking my feelings (at last)
Because you're mine (unmasked)
In the darkness, I'm afraid
I showed to you my fear
But I feel more at ease
Babe, when I'm with you here
I'm trying to tell you
The best way I know how
I loved you in the past
And I still love you now
I'm unmasking my feelings (unmasked)
For the first time (at last)
I'm unmasking my feelings (at last)
Because you're mine (unmasked)
(Author's note: Unmasked is the name of a KISS album. Written 27 March 1986)
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
Gimme a guitar
And a song to sing
A sword at my side
Is my everything
The moon's my captain
Music guards the helm
Together we travel
In a different realm
I search not for gold
It's something more true
It's my destiny
To live life with you
I'll brave the dungeons
Just to prove my love
I'll fight the dragons
And I'll free the doves
No blood do I spill
For I know it's wrong
I conquer my foes
With only a song
The moon, music and me
Live a minstrel's life
We travel about aimlessly
Living on the edge of a knife
We search not for gold
It's something more true
It's our destiny
To live life with you
We'll brave the dungeons
Just to prove my love
We'll fight the dragons
And we'll free the doves
(Author's note: I love fantasy novels and I played Dungeons & Dragons while in High School. Written 2 August 1986)
LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
Looks can be deceiving
Don't believe everything you see
Looks can be deceiving
I may not be me
It don't matter what you think
It's what I feel that counts
You might believe I'm weird
But it's not your place to denounce
You may find I'm a great guy
If you'd give me a chance
But no
You won't save me a dance
Just because I'm quiet and shy
You think I'm kind of strange
And I can't express myself openly
I don't think I have to change
Looks can be deceiving
Don't believe everything you see
Looks can be deceiving
I may not be what you want
I may not be me
(Author's note: So there! Written 16 August 1986)
HOW I MISS YOU
(SONG FOR LIZ)
Days have gone by yet it seems like years
You made a lasting impression on my life
We love to dance and drink some beer
All my friends were quick to make you my wife
Then the scene changed and we went our ways
This song is to tell you of my strife, oh yeah
Oh how I miss you
Words can't describe how I kissed you
Oh how I miss you
How can I go on
Without the strength you gave me
Oh how I miss you
I hold you in my arms
And I sing you a song
Then I wake up
And find that you're gone
Oh how I miss you
Words can't describe how I kissed you
Oh how I miss you
How can I go on
Without the strength you gave me
Oh how I miss you
Being without you is tearing me apart
I'm not the same man when you're not here
I'm not happy then I perk up
I can sense your presence when you're near
I'll get my money and go to the bar
And I'll buy you a couple beer
Then I'll say
Oh how I miss you
Words can't describe how I kissed you
Oh how I miss you
How can I go on
Without the strength you gave me
Oh how I miss you
(Author's note: Mountains out of mole hills. Written 25 October 1986)
ROCKIN' ALL NIGHT
You and me are like night and day
In the differences we see
But there's one thing about us
That lets us be free
We're having the time of our life
We're having a ball, that's right
Fuck whatever they think
Cos we're rocking all night
Rocking all night
Rocking all night
Let 'em know we're
Rocking all night
We're having a great time
We're having a ball, that's right
C'mon set yourselves free
And keep rocking all night
Rocking all night
Rocking all night
Let 'em know we're
Rocking all night
(Author's note: Did I mention that I love rock 'n' roll? Written 16 November 1986)
CRAZY (YOU GOT ME)
Every time I see you
Every time I hear your name
Plays on my heart
Like the first day you came
Every day that I live
Girl, every day that I breathe
Makes it easier
On me the day you leave
Cos you got me crazy
I'm crazy again
I'm crazy with love
You got me crazy
Everything that we share
All the games that we play
Say a lot more
Than words will every say
Cos you got me crazy
I'm crazy again
I'm crazy with love
You got me crazy
Every time I see you
After the day you leave
I'll remember
All you can believe
Cos you got me crazy
I'm crazy again
I'm crazy with love
You got me crazy
(Author's note: I don't remember who this is about. Written 24 March 1987)
THE SOUNDS OF SPRING
Can you see the trees
of a thousand years
As the sounds of life
fall upon your ears?
Can you hear the birds
of the ages sing?
Can you, my child,
see the sounds of spring?
(Author's note: I started this a few years before while camping and had revisited it several times wanting to expand it. Finally, I decided that it would stand on its own. So, here it is. I don't remember exactly when it was originally written, but I decided that it was completed on 9 May 1987.))
BACK IN MY LIFE
I was all alone and feeling blue
I spent my nights thinking about you
My stereo played a woeful song
I thought my mind had gone all wrong
And then out of nowhere
Like a shot in the dark
You re-entered my world
And re-entered my heart
You're back in my life
Back in my life
Back in my life, Baby
You're back in my life
I was all alone and feeling blue
Every night I thought about you
But now you're back and here to stay
And I have only one thing to say
You're back in my life
Back in my life
Back in my life, Baby
You're back in my life
(Author's note: Self-explanatory, but I can't think of who it was. Written 15 July 1989)
WHAT A DREAM
You walked in the door
And stood there.
My jaw hit the floor
As I stared
At your long, tan thighs,
And your hair
Covered haunting eyes.
Are you there?
Your black negligee's
Very sheer;
Sexy, slinky, cut
Up to here.
Uncensored, see-through,
Crystal clear,
I reach out, grab you,
Pull you near.
As my lips meet your
In a kiss,
Like we're married in
Wedded bliss,
You say, "I'll miss you,
I promise."
And then I wake up.
What a dream . . .
(Author's note: I've a many dreams like this; and sometimes not enough of them. Written 16 July 1989)
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