Break Time
by
Sheila Lee Brown
Published by Sheila Lee Brown
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 by Sheila Lee Brown
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Break Time
Lindsay sat on the front porch and opened the sketch pad she had carried out with her. It had been a gift from her best friend Stephanie on Lindsay’s seventeenth birthday last year along with several different pencil grades. Stephanie knew how much Lindsay loved art and had encouraged her, but Lindsay hadn’t seen or talked to Stephanie in quite some time.
Lindsay flipped through the first couple of drawings in the sketch pad. They were of her boyfriend Chad. There he was, standing by a tree and sleeping in a hammock. She smiled at one where he had been making a funny face. She had met Chad shortly after her birthday when the elective classes changed up for the semester. He had been in her art class. He didn’t do very well in the class, but one of the reasons that Lindsay liked him so much was because when he saw how much she loved to draw, he had been more than happy to pose for her and it had been fun to share her hobby with him.
That is, at first.
Chad never offered to pose any more. In fact, whenever she brought it up, he always seemed to change the subject or think of something to do.
Lindsay hadn’t drawn much lately, which she thought was odd. It was her dream to be an artist, to even teach art to others because she loved it so much. But, gradually, she and Chad had begun going out more and she never seemed to have the time to sit down and sketch anything. It just didn’t seem fair that she didn’t have time for both Chad and her art.
Lindsay reached the last drawing of Chad in the sketch pad. He wasn’t making a funny face or even smiling in it. He looked bored. Or, at least that was the image that Lindsay had captured. Lindsay closed the sketch pad and sighed.
Chad was on his way over and she was going to have to have a talk with him and she wasn’t looking forward to it. She wanted to apply for a summer art class and the teacher was very selective. Lindsay would have to submit a portfolio of her work and she felt that she needed some stronger pieces if she was going to get picked. She already had a couple of ideas, but she and Chad would not be able to spend as much time together. She had tried to bring it up before, but they always ended up in an argument. Now time was running out and she needed to get to work.
The sound of Chad’s car pulling into the driveway caught Lindsay’s attention. She reflexively slipped the sketch pad behind her so he wouldn’t see it. She left it there on the porch and walked over to his car. He stepped out and gave her a big hug and she hugged him back. He was warm and strong. He released his squeeze and she looked up in to his face. He was about six or seven inches taller than her and she strained to see his blue eyes over his high cheek bones. She stepped back and smiled at him.
He let go of her and leaned against his car. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled. “I thought you might want to come over to my house and we can watch a movie or something.”
He looked so sweet that Lindsay hesitated and almost said “yes”, but then she remembered all the work she needed to do to get ready.
“Well…”
“Well…?” Chad asked. He moved away from the car and put his arm around her. “Just say yes and come on.” He smiled at her as he ushered her around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. Lindsay stopped short of getting in and took a deep breath.
“Remember that art class I talked about a while back?”
“That again? I thought that wasn’t until this summer,” Chad said, still holding the door open.
“It’s not. But, I have to submit some of my art now to see if I can get into it.”
“Oh,” Chad said. “You need me to help you pick out some stuff?”
“Not exactly. I need to work on some things to submit and I don’t really have a lot of time to get it done.”
Chad looked down at the ground and his grip on the door tightened.
“You don’t want to hang out with me tonight?”
“You can hang out with me and watch me work if you like,” Lindsay said in a small voice.
Chad was quiet for a moment, still looking at the ground. Then, he slammed the car door with a bang. He looked at her and shook his head angrily.
“You know, that’s all you ever talk about anymore.”
“What?” Lindsay said in disbelief, taken back by the anger in the tone.
“Art class. Drawing. I really like you, Lindsay, but I feel like I’m in second place all the time.”
Lindsay didn’t know what to say. She hardly ever talked about her art because he always changed the subject or got irritated. She hadn’t even drawn anything in weeks.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” she began, not even knowing what to say. “But, this is an important opportunity for me and…”
“And you’re going to do it and spend all your summer in class when we could be together. Right?” Chad asked.
“I really hadn’t thought it about it that way,” Lindsay answered. She took a couple of steps away from him and stared him down. “I just know that I want to be an artist and I have to think about that and find ways to learn more and become better at it.”
“But what about us?” Chad asked.
“What about us? We can still hang out. Just maybe not as often.” She looked away from him and kicked the ground with the front of her shoe. Dust flew up and settled on her white shoes. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“The big deal is that I think art is more important to you than me and…and I don’t know if this is going to work out,” Chad blurted.
Lindsay’s eyes widened. “You’re going to break up with me because I want to take an art class?”
“If you’d rather be with a paintbrush than with me…” He shrugged and walked back around the car to the driver’s side. Lindsay followed.
“I don’t know why you’re taking it this way… Chad, why?”
“I thought you cared about me.” He spat at her.
“I do. Do I have to give up art just to prove I love you?”
Chad shrugged again.
Lindsay didn’t know what to say. It suddenly seemed clear to her that he’d meant for her to never take the art class; that he had been weaning her off of her art slowly all along. She could see it had all been intentional. He’d done it on purpose. She looked at his face and saw that he was hurt, but all she could think was: he did it on purpose!
She felt her face getting hot and the tears welling up in her eyes. He tried to grab her as she turned away, but she threw his arm off. She ran up the front steps, and into the house, locking the door behind her. She ran to her room and finally let the tears flow. She almost expected to hear him beating on the front door, but the sound never came. She was sure it was over. Then, her cell phone rang. It was his ring tone and she almost didn’t answer, but she collected herself and wiped her tears.
“Hello,” she said quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Chad said.
Lindsay didn’t say anything.
“I really am,” Chad said. Silence. “I found your sketchpad out here.” Silence. “These drawings are really good. I had forgotten how good they were.”
“Yeah?”
“Can’t we talk?”
“Go ahead.”
“Can’t we talk face to face?”
Lindsay walked out of her room and to the front door. She looked out of the window and saw him standing on the porch with her sketchpad in one hand and his cell phone in the other. She ended the call as he said her name into the phone, then opened the door and went out.
He turned towards her. “I’m sorry,” he said. He handed her the sketchpad and shook his head. “I guess you must care about me a lot if you drew all these pictures of me when there are so many better things you could have been drawing.”
Lindsay sighed.
“Can’t we work this out?”
“I don’t know,” Lindsay said, wiping at her eyes again. “I wasn’t making it up about having a lot of work to do and I don’t know if it is worth it if you’re going to feel hurt when I have to work on art instead of spending time with you.”
Chad sighed and handed her sketchbook back to her.
“Maybe we should just take a break for a while,” she said as she took the sketchpad. “It will give me time to get some stuff done anyway.”
Chad nodded reluctantly.
“How long?”
“I don’t know,” Lindsay said.
Chad nodded again and looked down. Lindsay thought he was going to say something else, but he seemed to be struggling with it.
“How about I call you when I’m done?” she finally said. “Maybe you can help me pick out what to send?”
Chad looked up. He smiled and nodded affirmatively.
Lindsay felt a little awkward hugging him goodbye, and she felt sad at seeing him go. She went back inside the house and sat down at her work table. She opened the sketch pad and flipped through the pictures again. She came to the one where she thought Chad looked bored. She decided that he didn’t look bored - he looked sad.
She considered all the good times they had together. He really was a good friend as well as a boyfriend – or at least he had been when they first started going out together. She thought it might be possible to have good times again. Only time would tell. She continued to flip through the sketchpad until she found a blank page. It seemed like a good place to start.