Excerpt for Poems written Between 1990 and 2010 by TJ Seitz, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Poems Written Between 1990 and 2010


T.J. Seitz


Copyright 2011 by T.J. Seitz


Smashwords Edition



"Open Season"


A hunting trip we shall go

I and my boy

Tracking deer through the mid-fall cold


Our licenses and bought

Guns and gear cleaned

Out to the country we drive

Quiet and serene


We find and climb the chosen trees

Sitting tight for hours

Waiting patiently for signs of Bambi


Son says, “Dad I gotta stretch.”

I say fine, go for a walk, take a rest.”

He scurried down silently

And then disappears into the bush



Anticipation of the kill

Makes my right index finger tingle with thrill

Hark there’s movement coming over the hill


I aim, shoot twice

With no time to spare

Climb down quickly

Reload and begin to search for my prize


The trail of blood was easy to find

The beast is near

The sense of death is so sublime


My God, that’s not a deer!

The mangled corpse of my son

Lies right in front of me

Numbness overcomes my spirit


I can’t live with myself

This act is unforgivable

My life I must end


The muzzle to me head

Finger on the trigger

One quick tug

And now I’m…..



"Stifled Honesty"


That awkward moment

Before the phone's in place

Silence between two lovers

Words hung in space


You long to say it

But know you can't

When repeated too early

The results are scant


Denying their fate for one more day

Each lost in the world

That has no name


Spitting out rehearsed words

Not their imprisoned souls


Saying


Until next time, adieu

Instead of

I love you



Piss Off!”

Boy
You claim to be artsy fartsy.

But was your sphincter candy coated
By an Andy Warhol flavored cough drop?

Do you...

Brush daily
With a gold plated straight razor?
Don't forget to rinse with Silly Puddy

Cheat on your sofa
With the neighbor's ottoman

Read Charlie because he can spell words

Admire Salvador's rendition of life
Through the hungry eyes of Dr. Lecter

Hate your Mother for fucking the dishwasher

Hate your Father for cumming in your best bottle of Aqua Velva

Hate your Brother for beheading sister's Barbie dolls

Love Sister for the shows she puts on for you and your friends
Tonight's episode:
"Huck a Buck a Bean Stalk! Come Find Skipper's Poor Lost Head." 
(Its somewhere here on Sally's body)

Let her smoke some crack before the guys rape her!
She's really asking for it, isn't she?

Can you...

Beat an aged women senseless
Leave her for the dead

Spend one night in jail
Then weeks uncounted strapped to a hospital bed

Chase after cars with a dirty needle
Inject gasoline into your arm

Paint a portrait with your girlfriend's blood
Sell it to any ole Captain Kangaroo
For five bucks, a two bit whore or bottle of Boons

Play the drums with a broken stick shoved far up your ass
Never loosing a beat
While the sweet tasting cranberry sauce drips out slowly
From a frayed hole in the crotch of your jock

Give it up bud,
Your just another wannabe flim flam
Who thrust an eraserless number two pencil up his impotent prick

While plucking the wings off butterflies
That live outside your ivy lined cardboard cave

Remember...

Just because you got a bad haircut called style
Model your Merry Go Round wardrobe after boxcar bums
And float within clusters of degreed invertebrates
Does not necessarily make you one of them

Who ever them may be.


The Play of Life”

My life beckons me to change
As the pages in the back of my mind
Once memorized
Are forgotten

I must relearn my lines
Again
For my role in the production
Has been edited
As everything is through time.

Five years ago I was a child
Five years from now I could be married

The person I am today
Did not exist yesterday
And will be dead tomorrow

Then who am I?

I do not know.

Probably won't,
Until the last day of my show.


"Festering Scab"


Stop bitching about the world

Damn it!


Everyone has their own private Idaho to contend with

After being fucked in the ass by their parents


For example let use

Poor Crazy Jane,


She splattered all her brains

While listening to a sermon

At Saint Alphonzo’s Pancake House


The Bishop blamed Satan


Oh contrar!

What a sorry explanation coming from a man of the snotrag


Nick was nowhere near the North Pole when it happened

He accepts no credit


Jane was crazy for Chrissake!

She was bound to do it eventually

One can’t expect miracles from a cunt with a mansion

Build on mounds of shit and filled with bones


And then there’s The Captain

He chose his fate

So why remorse,

Because he died before reaching port?


Blow me!


He was partying with a bunch of stowaway Hare Krishnas on deck

The night before


Submerge himself in the drink of their word

(It was tempting to believe)

Surrendered his soul and signed all his belongings over

To “My Sweet Lord”


In the morning when he woke

His indiscretions where brought to his attention

“I FREED WHO!!!!!?”

A bullet in the head was the price he paid


So why not hop along happily

With a permanent shitgrin on your face?


You’ll soon lean that ‘Nothing Matters’

And accept your cursed fate



Valor”

I am The Knight in Shining Armor

I accept quests to strengthen my honor

Thus ignoring Falstaff's wise words


Seeking answers

And facing the truth

Have forced me to forswear my youth


The sword is my savior

My mind, its deity

To no one I offer my fidelity


Cursed is the life I lead

Blindness and vanity

Overcome me


Making me no better

Than the spineless thief

Who picks through the pockets of dead men

Lain out in the street



Bimbo Bitch”


You Bimbo Bitch
Sitting at the bar
Sucking down all that light beer
Hoping vainly in your drunken stupor
For that hot looking rich man to appear from nowhere
Whisk you away forever in his cherry red sports automobile

You Bimbo Bitch
High hair and heels
Tight purple leather dress
Tits falling out
Black lace stocking
No panty line
Dick tease

You Bimbo Bitch
Gaudy red lipstick, black eyeliner, blue eye shadow
Highlighted blond ends
Brown rooted cunt

True age scraped on by a putty knife every morning
The beer goggles worn by hormone driven homely onlookers
Desperate for a fuck
Are your only defense for this illusionary deception

You Bimbo bitch
Do you have anything intelligent to say
Who cares about the weather
Or how long it's been since last you got laid

"Light my cigarette
Oh, please..."

What's your name?

"Claire. Buy me a beer
Oh, please..."

Ok, here. Have you ever read any Dostoyevsky, Maugham or Camus?

"Kiss my ass
You're not cute enough
Bye..."

FUCK YOU!!!



Ode To Cronshaw”


You drunken, foul mouthed, infidel


Poet esquire


Brandishing your drawn out, bantering drivel

With every drink you drown

To every friend or fool, who dares to sit nearby


Eulogizing the unpublished words of your endured wisdom


Duly warning the precocious Philistines,

Who sanctimoniously celebrate your phenomenal pestilence

Nightly at the café La Closerie des Lilas,

To leave Paris and take up more profitable trades


For an Artist's life is virtuous misery

Fervently dedicated to the Muses


Everything material must be forsworn to Fate

Only your avocation, ego and an empty stomach

Remain to creatively conceive

Your eternal demise.



Deceptive Smiles”


Why aren’t we told as a child

Hat most dreams die


Learned reluctantly as an adult

After waking up


Abruptly!


During The Nightmare and suddenly remembering


Knowing it was something from the past

Locked away and denied


Things like…

Being stabbed with swords and told not to bleed

Or dead siblings buried under rotten leaves


Worst of all the pain and guilt


Soon forgotten as days quickly pass

But never really lost


Resurrected

After years of suppression

While the Green Dragon roams freely through the peaceful fields

Of Holy Camelot


You fight the hurt

Try to get by

Lie hours alone in bed holding pillows


Masking your enlightened eyes

From the ignorant outside world


Wishing there was someone nearby to project the torture on

Knowing though its your own isolated doom to overcome

Not for others to bare


Besides, they don’t really care

For they have their own enigmas to overcome

That Fate forbids them to share.



Baking Love”


This is a recipe of suggestions for young men to follow

Understand these instructions and in a woman’s love ye shall wallow .


Remember to bathe weekly, do not drool

Wipe thoroughly after leaving a stool .


Deodorant used daily helps attract the ladies

So does brushing your teeth and shaving.


Laundry done on a monthly basis

Will prompt people to stop staring with such funny faces


Rub on some Krell Kream, just this once

It will make the itch disappear along with the bumps.


Don’t chew with your mouth open, don’t spit when you speak

When you have to pee at night remember to lift the seat.


Pay attention to manners

They are very important


Say please if you want something

Thank you when you’re done


Stifle rude habits

Stop sucking your thumb.


The same goes for belching and farting and picking your nose

Saying bad words out loud at church or the Saturday morning matinee show.


You say you can’t handle it all?

Then learn to say I love you, cook good meals and send bouquets of flowers.


Done at random intervals most women will overlook some of the above problems

So long as you continue taking regular showers.



Love is a Feather”

Love is a feather


A Truth

Whispered by the wind


Its company can unveil ancient mysteries

And open our being to flight



Retribution”


I’m a white trash man,

With a Ph.D.

Was raised on welfare,

Food Stamps and government cheese.


My IQ’s high,

Ambition’s kinda low

I have no common sense,

Couldn’t piss a round hole in the snow.


It’s pretty silly to see

A sleazy, good ole boy,

Red-neck type like me

Acing the SAT and GRE


English was my major

Harvard was where I studied

Got a Masters in Philosophy, from Syracuse

After that, Stanford and Berkeley started callin’.


Did my thesis work on Twain, Faulkner and Tobias Wolfe

Illustrated that “ignorance is bliss” within many American books

Using Huck Finn, Darl and Frank, from “Hunters in The Snow”

(Spinoza was real right when he said that most men will disregard utter reason to attain personal goals)


Now I teach whatever I feel

Might cop one too

Love hearin’ dem darlin Dolores’ squeal.

(Being the Humanities Department Head sure does have it’s appeal)


Live in a trailer park

Down the road from work

I must live amongst my element

(Everyone else thinks I’m a jerk)


I think that all Niggers, Gooks, Spicks, Arabs, Hindus

Jews, communists, queers and dykes should die

Spilling their blood will help keep The Klan alive

The Confederacy shall again rise



Been married three times

Working on number four

She lives with her half-wit husband

In the rusted heap right next door


Got lots of other little ladies on the side

Just in case I ever get board

When a woman knows that you’re a college professor

She will transform herself from the Virgin Mary into a lascivious whore


I’ve slept with my mother, brother, sisters, cousins

Aunt and Old Lady Lucket up the street

Even tried a duck, a dog and Daddy’s award winnin’ sheep

A few times at night, while everyone was asleep


Have lots of kids scatted all over the place

Don’t pay child support, or know any of their names

Their moms were a bunch of dipshit bitches

Who’s fucks were all quite lame


At night I like to relax under the moonlight

On my rustic plywood porch

Swigging cases of cheep beer

Thinking deep thoughts about Nietche, Benjamin or Curious George


Not aimin’ to be famous

Writing just ain’t my cup of tea

Only want to collect a substantial paycheck

Then piss it all away in one weekend on country music, candy bars and a few bags of weed


As you can clearly see

A higher degree don’t mean shit to me

For my intellect does not totally reflect

The debaucherous side of my established prefect


While Sewing My Heart Back Onto My Sleeve”


While sewing my heart back onto my sleeve

It dawned on me that it didn’t belong there


So I carefully removed it and placed it out of habit

Into the left pocket of my worn blue jeans

Where I predictably forgot about it

Until after my soon to be ex-wife

Washed them


My daughter found it all hard and crumpled up

In the dryer lint trap

While looking for loose change and barrettes


She moistened the lump with her melancholy tears

Wondering how it got there

Wishing it was back on my sleeve

Then laid it out flat to dry

Between the pages of her coloring book

For safe keeping



Love Used to be a Feather”


Love used to be a feather for me

Today though,

It's just burnt toast


I’m trying to scrape some of the black off

With my ball point pen

But it doesn't seem to be working very well


I need to pull the rusty butter knife out of my chest

And allow the Truth to bleed out onto the floor

Instead of holding it all in and pretending it doesn't hurt



Love is my Shoulder”


Love is my shoulder

A safe place bury your face

While the shirt on my back

Soaks up your tears and muffles deep sobs of desperation

After trying to stand up for yourself

While talking to your ex husband on a cell phone in the kitchen

And being hung up on

Like he always does/did

When confronted with/by your Truths



Soul Searching”


I have all these islands in my life

Places I built sand castles on the beaches

At night the tide came or sometimes a storm would pass

Washing them away, turning my intentions back into mounds of sand


Why did I feel the need to sail so much

Attempting to work so hard against or to defy nature

Creating something that already exists

Home

Where I started the journey to begin with



The Body Loom”


While we lay next to each other at night and sleep
Our body parts slowly move towards each other
Performing an ancient dance
Carefully weaving themselves together into the fabric of our love

In the morning when we wake up
The material becomes torn, threads unravel and ends fray
But
We carry a piece of that magic cloth around with us
In our hearts
To admire and embrace throughout the day


Mrs. Baba Yaga Kelly”


Mrs. Baba Yaga Kelly

Spends the day devoted to the brood

That came from her belly

In a lily white suburban home

 

A wholesome woman she appears be

To the untrained eye


Kissing booboos

Baking blueberry pies

Instructing the cleaning lady

Making beds and hanging dresses

Picking up assorted messes


Between trips to the market, mall and music lessons

Play dates, naps and teacher conferences

 

But at night

When the clock strikes nine


After all the children are sound asleep

The exhausted Mr. Kelly

Passes out

Reclined

She silently tiptoes

Around the house

Sprinkling liberal doses of Sleepy Dust

Over each and every face


To ensure no one will wake

And notice that she is really gone

 

Before flying away on her Tommy Hilfiger brand broomstick


She hastily exchanges her

Frumpy, formless jogging suit

For a low cut dick tease blouse and tight miniskirt

With no panties


Slips on some enchanted stilettos

While surreptitiously slugging a six pack of Guinness

Which magically transforms

The run of the mill

Married middle age mom

Low standard seductress


Who spends the predawn hours

Prowling the dark corners of dive bars

Adult book stores and thruway rest stops

Looking for vulnerable prey


Over time she’s acquired a taste for divorced dads

Frat house virgins

Jealous gigolos

Trailer trash

Honky-tonk philanderers

 Or an occasional woman with itches that need a scratch

 

Sometimes

On evenings she’s feeling most deprived

She will try to tempt

Faithless husbands

From their righteous, neurotic wives


First with feigned innocence

Gradually gravitating toward romance

Then an improvised pole dance


Leading them astray from their good intentions

Down the fire and brimstone catwalk

Taunting their hungry deprived psyches with the kind of candy

Frugal spouses refuse to buy, let alone share


Shrewdly emanating a particular look, scent or touch

Whose memories were dutifully repressed

Through regular trips to the counselor

Not to mention their partner’s prescription meds


Exploiting masculine naivety and marital celibacy

To experience the titillating thrill of sin and conquest


Mrs. Kelly always flees the scene before realization

Detonates delayed feelings of shame and damnation

Gleefully watching her spells unwind

From a safe distance


While the stupefied subject

Slowly drive them-selves silly

Formulating a list of lame excuses


Loathing the mythical journey

Many before have undertaken

Towards the wasp nests they call home


Aqua Velva and Listerine

Wash away the smell of sin

Not a person’s conscience


Which a frigid female’s keen perception

Will easily recognize transgression


Instantly becoming judge, jury and jailer


Imposing a tailored sentence

Far worse than a hangman’s noose

One that only a miserable marriage of 24 years

Can effectively institute….


Before the mourning hour of five

Baba must return to her quintessential life

Since the effects of her charms are fueled by makeup and moonlight

Winged monkeys

Will often appear

Escorting her back to Oz

Kicking and screaming


Until the first rays of dawn

Warm her cold heart back to room temperature

Allowing her just enough time to put on a pot of coffee happy face


After a hot shower and quick change of clothes


All the lunches are made

The kids are fed Fruit Loops for breakfast

Half are sent to the end of the driveway at 8:15 to wait for the bus

The rest in front of the TV while momma naps on the couch with one eye open for a few hours

Starting another day in Paradise



A December Night in Clearwater Florida”

Modern transportation is so amazing

Yesterday morning I was tracking snow though the living room and kitchen

Six hours later I was knocking salty sea sand from those same shoes


Right now I'm sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico on my left

Jupiter shines above me in the partially cloudy

Light polluted sky


A dimly lit pool patio is five floors below me

The collective backdrop for my thought inspired word-scape

I don't think anyone notices me watching from the shadows of my voyeur perch


My wife went to bed about a half an hour ago

Tired from a long day of pomp and museum

I'm on my second Black and Tan and have become distracted from Fitzgerald's Jelly Bean

Carag Lafar is playing on the ipod

Several teenage boys just exited the Jacuzzi

Because a couple of older guys wanted to share the space


Their bikini clad tweenie sister joined them in the pool

They pushed her in

A neatly dressed

Discrete looking young couple

(probably from a wedding party in the lobby)

Just returned from a walk on the unlit beach


I wonder if they just fucked each others brains out

On an unattended chez lounge chair

That costs twenty five dollars to rent for the day


The sea seems quieter than it was a few hours ago

But the monotone hum of filters

Continues


It smells like clorine and wet seaweed


The light breeze is warm by my standards

Though a resident might beg to differ


It gradually carries the distant fog toward the shore


My mind is beginning to wander


I'm thinking it's time to go inside and join my wife


And how earlier it was pointed out how oblivious to the obvious I can be


So many people are wrapped up in paying attention to the illusion

of their physical surroundings


Forgetting to observe with synchronicity and imagination

Perceiving with your heart and gut

As well as your eyes




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