POEMOTION INNOCENCE
by
Copyright© Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer
Published by The Language Train, Inc. USA
Smashwords Edition
Cover Design my Doa’a Zaineldin at Doa’a Designs, Alexandria, Egypt
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright© Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
The contents of this book are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or of any nation on earth. The publisher and author disclaim any personal loss of mind or liability caused by taking the time to actually think about one’s life as a result of reading the material herein.
This is dedicated to the Reader and the Mind within.
With special appreciation to Al, Lin, and the love they have always shown.
May you all be eternally blessed.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction 5
1ST Segue… INNOCENCE
The Institution 7
My Fault? 7
I Wonder 8
Should, Could, Will 9
One Thought Leads to Another 10
Would It Be Worth It? 11
Strangers Forever 11
A - Frame Sanctuary 12
Shall The World Be Mine? 14
Money 14
Help 15
Mud-puddle Reflections 15
Blind Irony 15
Musical Communication 16
Production 16
The End Of the World As We Know It 17
A Dream: To Chase or Not to Chase? 18
Sing the Blues 20
Talking In Your Sleep 21
A Jogger’s Nightmare 22
Foolish Sacrifices 22
Waiting at the Airport 23
A Rainy Day in My Car 23
The Park 25
One Man’s Life as a Tree 26
Kitty-cat Cloudy Day 28
Democracy? 29
Octave 29
Salman 30
Me Nombre Es Roberto 31
The Closing Of A Year I (1987) 32
The Closing Of A Year II (1988) 33
The Closing Of A Year III (1989) 34
The Closing Of A Year IV (1991) 35
2nd Segue… LOVE POEMS?
Listen and Think 37
Thinking 37
Diligent Admiration 37
Romance Spied Through a Window 38
Lost Love? 38
Love? 38
My Hero 39
Sharing Experiences 39
Over Our Heads? 40
Please Don’t 41
Please Me 42
Gone 42
Missing you? 43
Loved and Lost 43
Heart-ache 44
Love Defined 44
3rd Segue… VIEWS OF AN AGNOSTIC
All the Joys of Christmas 46
Christmas 1991 47
A Prayer for the World 48
My Destiny? 48
Deathbed Prayer 49
His Return? 49
The World for a Man 50
Faith 51
Temptation 51
The Mirror of Value 52
Religious As I Saw It in 1991 52
4TH Segue… VISION’S OF AN AMERICAN G.I.
Barracks Blues 54
G. I. Nightlife on Guam 55
Restless Nights 56
Sleeping Politician 56
Mailbox 57
Peace 58
The Price of Freedom 58
Peace … Through Sleep? 59
No War Anymore 59
Senseless Killing Realized 59
G. I. Holidays 60
Dysentery in Diyarbakir 61
5th Segue… PSYCHOLOGICALLY PHILOSOPHICAL POEMOTIONS
No Pride for Me 63
Unknown 63
Right or Wrong 63
Pain 63
Unbelievably Inconceivable 64
Camouflaged 64
Do or Don’t Condemn 64
Simplicity 64
Nothing 65
Thoughts 65
Inside 66
Humanity 66
Life 66
Spread Happiness 66
Forever 67
Time Changing 67
Minutes 67
Listening to My Awakening 68
Pot of Gold 68
To Want Isn’t To Get 68
The Price We Pay 69
Greed 69
Reality 69
Dreaming 70
Regrets Prevent Dreams 70
Commitments for Dreams 70
Epilogue 71
One More Thing 72
POEMOTIONS
When one opens a new book, it is like opening a new world. A world never explored by that person. With the reading of every work there comes the discovery of new territory.
There are so many undiscovered worlds waiting to be explored, yet not enough explorers. It doesn’t take much to be a pioneer. All that is required is a mind that can think and a means by which to get the new territory to the exploring mind.
Poemotions are poems expressed through emotions with an aim at setting the mind in motion. They are poems taken from the heart. They are feelings expressed in words; sometimes making sense, sometimes not.
Poemotions must be read between the lines; taking the smallest expressions and developing them into Universal thoughts. Explore them and philosophically develop them into common sense and thoroughly thought out concepts of personal development. In the end, if no other achievement is reached other than the initiation of the thought process, then these Poemotions have succeeded. Ultimately… whatever it is you encounter in life… just… think about it…
Robert Sawyer
1988
Updated thoughts…
Since 1988 I have gone through some rather impetuous times, both physically and emotionally. In this time I have suffered a broken back, a broken marriage, a broken financial situation, a broken career and nearly broken life in general. However… I have never let any of these obstacles in life prevent me from thinking of goodness. I have never allowed any situation to brake my psychologically. I have struggled through it all and feel I am a better person because of all the trials I have endured. I would never wish these trials on anyone else, but then… my destiny is not the same as theirs. We all must go through our own things in life in order to get to whatever our destiny holds for us.
Looking back on several of these poems I think how childish they must be. But… I will not change them. They represent who I was at that particular time in my life. If I change them now, then it would be as if I am lying about who I was and that is not who I am. So no matter how immature some of the enclosed poems may be… they were meant to be that way, so there they are.
For anyone interested in a follow-up, you can look forward to the next edition coming out soon.
Thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say. May you live in peace.
Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer, 2011
1st Segue…
INNOCENCE
THE INSTITUTION
The institution
Set by the teacher
For the student
The student grows
Changing life through progress
The student learns
Developing through experience
Experience developing through Education
The life develops through the institution
The institution the student’s life
The student sees the future
The student fears, hopes, strives
The institution gone
Emergence of a new life
A student to remain
MY FAULT?
I dislike people
But tell me…
Is it REALLY my fault?
I talk to no one
Except my pen and paper; tell me…
Is it really MY fault?
I dislike, but I care
Tell me…
Is it really my FAULT?
I WONDER
I wonder if this pen will work
I wonder if anyone will read this
I wonder about a lot of things…
If I will do alright in the “Real World”
If I will die a violent death
What will happen if I die…?
I wonder if the children of the world
Will grow up happy
I wonder which religion is true…
If there is such a thing
I wonder if anyone really loves me
If I really love anyone
I wonder if democracy is right
What political thought is right…?
If there is such a thing…
I wonder about life
I wonder about death
I wonder about life after death
I wonder about religion
I wonder about politics
I wonder about nature
I wonder about science
I wonder about people
I wonder about morality
I wonder…
Does it really
matter?
SHOULD, COULD, WILL
Could I reach
The cookie jar… or…
Should I get
A chair
Should I trade my scooter
For a bike… or…
Could I get more
Than just the bike
Could I get
To the fair… or…
Should I ask
For the car
Should I try
To go very far… but…
Could I get there
With long hair
Could I get
A pay hike… or…
Should I simply
Take a hike
Should I consider death
Something of a scare… and…
Will I see my death
From near or far
Will I live long enough
To draw up a will…?
ONE THOUGHT LEADS TO ANOTHER
The world; it is
My mind it spins
What more do they want?
What I have to give isn’t a lot
All I really have is what I write
But does that make me wrong
Or does it make me right?
Is it better to be a clown,
Or should I, perhaps, frown?
Should I make the world better?
Or should I be an angry hater?
I love, I must confess
So I shall go down, even with the best
To hell with the rest!
My eyes focus on the sky
There they shall remain
Until the day I die…
I only pray I will be forgiven
For the sins I will commit
I believe I will never see heaven
Even though with all my heart I repent
My God… save me from man
I am already doing all I can
If you don’t I’ll try to understand
But first, I should sort out my thoughts, as confused as I am!
WOULD IT BE WORTH IT?
If one were to get
Something for
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
Or if one were to get
Something which is really
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
If one were to spend
Everything on
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
If everything goes for
Nothing
And something is gotten from
Nothing…
Or one thing is spent to gain
Everything, which ends up being
Something that will eventually be
Nothing… Would it be worth it!?
STRANGERS FOREVER
Not a planned look
Just a sudden glance
Meaning nothing
Lasting only for a moment
Two unknowns
To each their own
Lives apart to remain
A -FRAME SANCTUARY
The screen door squeaked and clamored shut
As I stepped onto the pine wood deck
Of my Uncle’s rotting, smelly hut
I looked across the football field-sized backyard
At the line of Evergreen trees
Surrounding the yard
In the far corner, to my left
I saw, through the sparse cover of fog
The A-Frame Clubhouse built form cunning and craft
The air was crisp and frosty as I breathed it into my lungs
It was both exhilarating and damp
Having the taste of freshly fallen rain that tickled my tongue
As I walked, my feet made a squashing sound against the damp wooden floor
The smell of bitter-sweet smoke wafted across my nose
It came from the wood-burning stove of my neighbor
I looked to my right at his open window
I heard the crashing and clanging of pots and pans
Wailing and fighting all at once coming through
The frost-covered ground crunched beneath my feet
Making my way to my Sanctuary
Feeling as if my heart had somehow skipped a beat
The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon so distant
With streaks of red, orange and yellow shooting towards me
As if to grab and expel me into the outer limit
The large, hollow door of the A-Frame, with a rope for a handle
Seemed to have grown, thus difficult to open
But I wouldn’t let that keep me from a place so tranquil
The air inside the A-Frame was dense and damp
The scent of mildew, saw-dust and gasoline breeding
At my nostrils the stench fiercely did slap
I reached to my right
In search of a string, which climbed to a 40-watt bulb
With a quick tug, I clicked on the light
I heard the scampering of mice in search of hiding
One dashed lightly across my feet, then safely under a pile of wood
As if the light had a certain foreboding
I looked around the petite cubicle hoping to spot another tiny creature
But instead only saw a collection of rusting gardening tools
And an old, lopsided processor, all sitting in a corner
To my right was the newly finished staircase
Under which sat a riding lawnmower and gardening hoses
Along with dried out potted plants, which I thought to be senseless
I crawled up the stairs and felt the freezing wood bite at my fingers
When I reached the top, I was blinded by a sunbeam
Though temporarily impaired, I could tell that dust still lingered
The scent of the mildew form the damp and rotting mattress
Danced uncaringly through my nose
And when I dove on its center I sent dust shooting from around its edges
I peered out the window at the vast green forest in the distance
Letting the sound of the rattling window
And the mild nipping of the cool air on my skin send me into a trance
I dreamed of far away places with flowers and doves
Letting my mind drift from the misery and pain
Gratefully thankful for how peaceful my Sanctuary was
SHALL THE WORLD BE MINE?
Here I sit…
Contemplating the reason why
I could conquer the world
But I daren’t try
I could easily do it
The masses are easily spoken for
But I could not do it
I wouldn’t know exactly what to say
Shall the world actually be mine?
I would think that it would
It is only a matter of time
If only I had enough courage.
MONEY
Money…
Let us discuss this
For a moment, shall we?
Well…
You see
We have close to none.
Hmm…
Quite a problem could arise
From such a situation.
But…
If we work harder and make more
Then we will be happier.
Or…
I could
Be wrong…
HELP
I’m here
Lost in an
Ocean of confusion
Find me and
Help me
Swim to the shore
I will then be
Able to walk
Along the beach
And feel the
Coolness of the sand
Beneath my feet
MUDPUDDLE RELFECTIONS
Looking down
I see the vast dark blue sky
Clouds so white and fluffy floating by
The trees upside-down
Lush and green
So full of leaves
I walk forward
Only to be disappointed
As I draw ever so near
The mud beneath the reflection becomes clear
BLIND IRONY
“What does it take
To make you see what I’m saying?
Why do you have such a thick skull?”
The half deaf, blind man
Ironically says to
The dumb man with a
Metal plate in his head
MUSICAL COMMUNICATION
Newspaper, television, radio
Telegraph, telephone, tell a woman
Communication
Thoughts, dreams, wishes
Complaints, agonies, pains
Music
Love, peace, happiness
Power, war, hunger
Communication through music
Communication the power
Music the tool
Development of nations
Development of people
Development of ideas and feelings
Musical communication
PRODUCTION
I stand here staring out a window
Listening to Metallica; speed metal
I see people walk, drive, run by
Lights made by people glow everywhere
Buildings built by people stand strong and tall
Clouds fill the sky; polluted by these people
Mounds of soil are scattered about,
They are a necessity of construction
Which is done by… people
So many people
Building so many things
Entertainment, Shelter, Transportation
Businesses, etcetera
Easy does it people!
Do not suffer nor die
In the production you prize!
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT
A manual valve refusing to move
An automatic valve won’t open
Pumps screeching to a dead halt
No fuel remains
Automobiles give way to horse and buggy
Axes and manual saws take over chainsaws
Dark, sooty pollution emerges
Where filtered white pollution once came
The old world from the new
The new world never to return
Leaving behind all remnants of the civilized
A civilization from the old
Entropy taking over where Newtonian failed
Quantum, Relativity in a way becoming truth
Gold, Bronze, Steel; all ages of man
Gold, Bronze, Steel; a cycle never ending
Chaos born from dependence
Dependence man’s downfall
The end of the world as we know it
A world in the ashes to be explored
Love, peace, happiness; all in hope
Hope from fear; fear of the unexplainable
Philosophy strives, unable to conquer
Simply enough, a new beginning
A DREAM: TO CHASE OR NOT TO CHASE?
“Where on this grand earth
am I?”
“You’re not on earth,
you’re in a dream, my SON
“Well old man…
Where is IT?
“There it is boy! Don’t waste time!
Go get the THING!”
Somewhat brief and abstract…
But not a LIE
But now... It is dark as an abyss
Or bright as the afternoon SUN?
All I know is that …
I have to chase IT.
Listen boy!
You mustn’t worry nor CRY!
Just chase the dream
And have some FUN.
And you needn’t fret
If it bites a BIT.
And when you fall
It will always lend you PADDING.
“Old man… you needn’t bother yourself
With the swelling of my EYE.
When a dream laughs
I never act DUMB.
And I don’t worry about bites
Nor a little HIT.
Neither do I trouble myself
With FALLING.”
Then my son.. Why stall…
If I may PRY?
“Old man, I never enter the unexplored
At a savage Run.”
“But this is only a dream…
I think you’re scared of IT!
“ I give warning old man.. Do not try to induce
Or vex me into SOMETHING!”
I was only trying to help…
It can’t hurt to TRY
And if you were smart
You’d go get that dream, my SON.
You might possibly have danger or happiness
Or neither and here you’ll SIT.
This may be the greatest or the worst
Or it may remain NOTHING.
“Old man, in my pursuit of this dream.
If I may DIE…..
You must swear that in my procession
You will beat the DRUM!
As for my coffin…
You will bury IT!
And to the dream …
You will chase the THING!”
So you will go boy!
Then I say GOODBYE!
“Yes I am off…
But pray it is as the SUN.
Pray it does not bite…
For I actually loathe to be BIT.
And pray it has a tickle…
Not a STING.
I will be back, old man.
And we’ll talk… you and I”
“Yes! Now go!
Go have some FUN!
Enjoy your youth
To its fullest LIMITS!
Goodbye by son!
Don’t worry yourself a THING!
So here I’m off.
Praying not to DIE.
Knowing I may be killed.
But still off I RUN.
I know danger may be this dream…
But I wish happiness be IT.
And whether I worry or not, I still know
that danger is better than NOTHING…
SING THE BLUES
A long time ago
Man had a chance
To play with life
And have some romance
But now
That time is gone
And here I stand
So all alone
All I have to ask
Is one favor
You can do it or not
It doesn’t really matter
But if you would
I mean, if you could
Sing the Blues for me
Sing of what makes you feel free
Sing the Blues out loud
Sing of what makes you proud
Sing them for me
And I swear
They will remain
In my heart for eternity
TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP
So peaceful
The words you say
“The latter things are full
Why can’t you stay?”
While you’re asleep
You talk what appears nonsense
But in writing, what you say I shall keep
Perhaps they’ll make me a few cents
“Please, please don’t go
I’ll give you anything
I’ll take care of you in rain or snow
Why are you leaving? Was it I who did something
To Hell with you then
I don’t care if you ever some back again!”
Such violence you can show
In the morning I shall let you know
“There’s a dragon out there
Wait! I’ll get him!
Watch out! He’s out of his Lair!
Blast him! Blast him!
What can you possibly be dreaming?
What is it that runs wild in your mind?
Perhaps it is your daily scheming
Emerging a little at a time?
You roll over frantically
Now you say no more
Perhaps now you will sleep peacefully
Having, to the outside, shut the door.
A JOGGERS NIGHTMARE
Coming in from the chilled air
My body stiff with frozen sweat
I stumble over to the radiator
Then my strongest fears spring alive
The radiator is throwing me a sheet of frozen air
I struggle over to the thermostat
Adjusting it from the mere 10 degrees to a comfortable 75
I then, anticipating heat, crawl to the vent
Almost to the life supporting system ahead
I collapse, stretching my arm to reach life
My hand barely makes contact
Just as I sink into sub-consciousness
The radiator then kicks out a wave of heat
Moments later, my hand thaws from white to pink
Sub-consciousness disappears as I awaken
I struggle to my feet and peel out of the
Frost engulfed heap of clothes
My body slowly springs to life once more
Only for me to repeat the act tomorrow
FOOLISH SACRIFICES
Children playing in the streets
The beast speeds onward
Parents look on in awe
Crimson pavement from the sacrifice
The steel beast controlled by a man
The man controlled by nothing
From an inebriating drug
He loses all inhibitions
He is unable to control the beast
The result is a sacrifice
To a superficial God
A God of deceit, hatred, pain and darkness
Laws that are, it seems never enforced
So the sacrifices continue endlessly
Killing the children of the future
Children that can no longer be children
But only foolish sacrifices to a dark god
WAITING AT THE AIRPORT
Elevator Music!
So unrewarding
The least they could do
Is have Ozzy Osbourne singing
Tranquil music
This makes me sick
I want to curl up in a heep
And just fall fast asleep
Then I would miss my plane
Oh!! That would prove to be a pain!
Maybe I should eat some spaghetti
And perhaps consume another beer
I know the time to depart
Must be drawing near
What time could it possibly be?
I am almost wanting to leave
A RAINY DAY IN MY CAR
A car and truck
They pass me by
They don’t give a fuck
I wish I were high.
What kind of poem can this be?
I don’t know… nor care
But I really must pee
Because of the light, I don’t yet dare
Sitting in the rain
Getting wetter and wetter
It’s really such a pain
Perhaps I’ll throw on a sweater
To myself I will converse
For my car nor the clouds will speak
To insanity my mind may transverse
Not yet!… I’m not at my peak…
Contemplating the ways of life
Wondering when I shall marry
Who to take as a wife
To be honest, it’s all quite scary!
Ahead, I stare at a brick wall
It stands ancient, yet proudly
Why am I short.. Not tall
Nonetheless, I’m stout and never cowardly!
My car isn’t fast and it is quite dirty
I have no music from its console to hear
Yet it runs and is quite sturdy
So from my eyes will not come a tear.
Just another rainy day
Far from home
Should I go, or should I stay
I really hate to be alone
I’ll just sit in my car
Allowing the raindrops to fall
Knowing my friend cannot be far
I wish he would’ve answered the phone
THE PARK
While walking through the park
I notice these things
Wondering exactly
What each of them mean
An old man sitting on a bench
Reading a paper
A couple of small town hoods
Think-up a caper
An old lady with a cart
She’s dressed like a hag
A little girl in tights
She’s carrying a shopping bag
A little boy running
Stumbles, then falls
An infant of about one
Trying to walk from a crawl
The leaves fall from the trees
Oh so freely
The bums sleeping under them
Why must they be needy?
All of which I see
Still remains unknown
Until I find out
I’ll just keep walking home
ONE MAN’S LIFE AS A TREE
Picture if you will…
A field filled with daises
Violets and…
Forget-me-nots
Amongst which is…
A Tree…
Oak… no Doubt
This Single tree
Standing firmly in the middle
Of this Vast Field
Within this Tree…
Nests a Sparrow…
And a Raccoon
On the Side
Of the Tree
There are
Signs
Of where a Bear
Might have scratched
An itch
On the opposite Side
Is what appears to be
Signs
Of where a Massive Buck
Rubbed His horns
This tree…
Is extremely
Large
For this area
So Large, in fact…
That One
Could swear
That It
Had been there
From the
Beginning of Time
A tree…
That has endured
Thousands
Of years of
Torture…
Whether Erosion
(wind or rain)
Or
Disease
A tree…
That springs forth
Huge leaves
That could easily
Cover a Small Child
A tree…
That offers
Shelter
Food
And a Tool
To all Creatures
A tree…
That is
Truly great
And will endure
For eternity
A tree…
That IS
Despite the fact that…
Envious outside factors
Will always attempt to
End Its Life.
KITTY CAT CLOUDY DAY
A tiny, black kitten found in the alley
Brought inside for comfort and pet
Fed only the finest canned food
The kitten grows to full size
Playing endlessly with anything in site
Growing hungry
Time speculatively spent on the roof
Clawing at passerby avians
Growing ever more hungry
A window opened then carelessly closed
The cat inescapably on the roof
Hunches, springs, stretches
His prey clutched in an iron-clawed grip
Two stories down, waste for his fall
An alley cat to become
Searching the park during daylight
Investigating alleys in the moonlight
Little did he figure stumbling into a fight.
DEMOCRACY?
Tear down the Wall!
Totalitarians are whom we Call
Freedom must be for humans All
Communism inevitably did Fall
Democracy in itself is not Freedom
Peace and love must also be our Guerdon
From mind, heart, and spirit it does come
Amiable movements forever we shall condone
Despots such as Ceacesceu did not receive pardon
The world united shall become our Home
Albania, Cuba, China: together, yet Alone
Freedom and peace go hand in hand
The people of the world finally took a stand
The realization that nations aren’t only land
The world shall one day become a paradise for all man
We shall share all culture under one doctrine
First… let us all, every man. Awaken!
OCTAV
Octave won the prize!!
Tears of joy flow from my eyes
He’s a hero in my world
For, corruption and poverty
He set down in poetic words
He is a poet, somewhat like I
For the worlds misgivings, he did not cry
Events into words
He gave a twirl
He told the truth when others would lie
Sir Octave, a hearty salute extends from I
Of your poems I read not a word
But from a journalists view I had heard
That you had won the noblest prize
It was from a poets heart, the Greatness I spied
SALMAN
A chronicle: Stars and Stripes
Khomeni, a self-imposed reviver of the Islamists
A writer of fiction: this prey he makes
Salman never anticipated the height of the stakes
A cognate people
Fanatically tries to cripple
Satanic Verses they must expel
Rushdie suppressed in his citadel
The Council meets in Saudi
It makes not, the league weep
The free world shall never sleep
As long as we have men like Rushdie
The illiterate think they rule
But they have not the tool
They shall never make us bow
Freedom will forever remain our sine qua non
Ayatollah’s world condemns
Rushdie’s world nonetheless remains
The Imam’s world shall endlessly seek revenge
As long as Shakespearians refuse to amend
We of the free teach peace
We care; thus we shall play for keeps
The totalitarian Imam preaches war
Evidently; our children shan’t get far…
ME NOMBRE ES ROBERTO
I am here to stay
I cannot be taken away
Who, you ask am I?
Me nombre es Roberto!
I am exhausted of Politics
I wish to regurgitate worldly thoughts
I will not tolerate impoliteness
And dare not to have insincerity
I realize the children shall someday rule
I know of all the hatred they do consume
They know it is eventually up to them
A peaceful, unpolluted world to create
Then, after you and I have gone, life they shall resume
How dare I insinuate such an act?
Who the hell am I? … you dare ask!?
‘Tis the plain, horrible truth, my man-unkind
Me nombre es Roberto!
The children I will stand beside
Yet, you I shall stand behind
Why beside and behind you ask?
That question illustrates your ignorance
They are the lion
While you are their soured lamb
To be thrown by my own hand
Out of your cozy world… into their den!
THE CLOSING OF YEAR I (1987)
This year is coming
To a close soon.
My emotions and feelings
Have remained about the same.
Except towards other
People and religions.
Actually I’m quite
Confused about such matters.
People intrigue me.
Religions fascinate me.
People laugh at peculiarities,
Religions tend to engulf people.
People allow religion to consume them
Making themselves fanatics
For a purpose which may mean
Nothing to anyone else
Without seeming religious
With no special gratitude toward man
Thank God this year is over
I look forward to another new beginning
THE CLOSING OF A YEAR II (1988)
The past year has been quite breezy
The women I’ve enjoyed were pretty easy
But at least none of them were too sleazy
Being in Guam, I’ve had some fun
Laying on the beaches I’ve gotten a golden tan from the sun
Thank God we weren’t invaded, I’m not ready to pick up a gun
Religion still fascinates me
People still intrigue me
But I’ll never let either defeat me
A new President was elected this year
Let’s all pray he doesn’t make us shed a tear
We all know well we don’t want to live in fear
Peace seems to be lasting between the two superpowers
We know it may not last, even within the next few hours
I can’t understand why it’s so hard just to be “cowards”’
The friends I’ve gained are many
The material wealth for me is, for now plenty
The years to come, may they be like candy…
THE CLOSING OF A YEAR III (1989)
It has been yet another year…
But what shall I write? This I fear…
This year was my move to Germany
Which was alright…
For now I have new friends aplenty
I’ve gotten “bombed” at local disco-teks
And I constantly hear of automobile wrecks.
Rushdie, a hero of writers, was condemned
Khomeni, soon after, met his end
No real fears of any terrorist attacks
No real fears?! Well the nerves it does tax!
Rafsanjani sprang to the top of the Realm
Now… will he lead his people to Hell?
The Eastern Bloc has begun to fall
Have they all heard freedoms call?
In Panama, a dictator we did dispose
The country will be free and he’ll go to prison, I suppose
My job, so far, is okay
I have to make the most of it,
For three years I must stay…
Until next year…
Do not, for pain, shed a tear!
THE CLOSING OF YEAR IV (1991)
The New Year cometh asunder
My body can’t hang with-under
Under thy love
Betrayal of the dove
Ten minutes left to go
Where the hell should I go?
We mustn’t delay the age
The entire Earth shall be the stage
I dangle from a silken string
My eyes suffer an onion sting
What shall I do, what can it be?
Won’t you help me see?
This past year America might have halted
Something Nostradamus exalted
But how am I to know who the third one is?
Perhaps the whole point, I did miss…
The year has now come to a close
What the future holds, nobody knows.
I pray for nothing but riches
But the lord knows, I’ll settle for some peaches…
2nd Segue…
LOVE POEMS?
LISTEN AND THINK
Sometimes when I try to explain
I may say just a little too much
So when I tell you something
Take the least of my words
And make the most of them
For I shall mean more
With only a few worlds
Then ever imagined by a thousand…
THINKING
When you look at me
Are you wondering
What I am thinking
As I am thinking
About you?
DILIGENT ADMIRATION
Fascinated by her intelligence
Engulfed by her smile
Enthralled by her friendly nature
The love of her personality deepens
First a glance
Then a friendly “Hello”
Her quiet protest against immorality
Her stern dedication to do better
Her mannerisms improving subconsciously
Her love of nature and people intensifies
A night at the theatre
Then a quiet dinner for two
My love continues unknowingly
For the girl I diligently admire
ROMANCE SPIED THROUGH A WINDOW
In the dimly lit room
Lies a misty layer of incense
Two bodies mingle in the center
Swaying to and fro’ in dance
The moon and stars sprinkle through the window;
All of which forms eloquent romance.
LOST LOVE?
The sorrow in my heart cannot be reckoned
The love from my icy center cannot be beckoned
I drown my agony with a bottle of Gin
And contemplate life’s end again and again
You have gone to a heavenly place so far away
And left me on this unfeeling world to stay
Will your loss bring me pain ‘til the end?… OH NEY!!
But for at least a couple hours, I’ll not play.
LOVE?
Romantic love…
Deadly love…
In
which both
Deceive the other
Until what’s wanton
Is gotten
Then gone forever
Except in the
Mind of the onlooker:
Innocent love…
MY HERO
You are the dream of my life
You are my hero
You’re what I want every night
You are my hero
You make me feel so good
I want to tell you all I know
For you I will shed my hood
I will give you all my life
When I see you
My body weakens
When I touch you
I grow stronger
I don’t know my fate
But someday I will
And when I find out
I will share it with you
If you are the one
Then come along and play
For I will have the key
To the playground someday
You are my hero
You are the dream of my life
You are my hero
You know what I need tonight…
SHARING EXPERIENCES
The sharing of experiences
Makes a better relationship than
Two people living
The same experience…
OVER OUR HEADS?
In shy utterance
I say to you:
You have your life
And I have mine
You have your career
And I have mine
You have your dreams
I have mine
You have your home
I will make mine
Your friends are yours
Mine are everyone’s
Your special moments
Are yours
I want mine
To be with you.
In firm confidence
You say to me:
You have your life
And I have mine
You have your home
Mine is with you
Your friends are mine
My friends are yours
Your special moments
Are with me
My Special moments
Are with you
Lost in love
Transfixed by one another
We then say together:
We will share our lives
We shall share our careers
Our dreams will come true
We will make our home together
And together our friends will be many
We will become one
Together we will have twice as much
Together we are invincible
Never over our heads
PLEASE DON’T
I want what you
Have to offer
Please don’t give me
Anything to alter
I love you
The way you are
Please don’t think
You need a fancy car
You already have more
Than I can give
Please don’t take more
Than I can offer while I live
You mean more to me than
I could possibly ever tell you
Please don’t make me
Cry or feel the slightest blue
You now know what it means
To be of the loving
Please don’t insist
I be of the giving…
PLEASE ME
Tho
Me
Be
He
Who
May
Please
Thee
No;
Ney
Tease
Thee
So
Please
Please
Me…
GONE
So you say
You don’t want
Me to go
Well….
I don’t want
To stay
I loved you
You said you loved me
I cared for you
You didn’t care enough
Now it is gone forever
You will always
Be on my mind
But can or will
You remember?
MISSING YOU?
I don’t know
If I will really
Miss you
For you never
Gave me a chance to
Kiss you
But then again
You never did
Kiss me
At least this way
We can depart
To one another a friend
And we both know
That in trouble
We will help each other to the end
I will wish you luck
In all your ventures
Praying for you the best
As for me…
I will go on with my life
Just like the rest…
LOVED AND LOST
It is better to
Have not loved
Than to have
Loved and lost
For though happiness
Occurs during love
The lost is
Most times unbearable
HEART-ACHE
Heart-ache…..
It is real?
Or is it imaginary?
Do we cause it to happen?
Or does it just occur?
How is the pain felt?
Is it felt with the mind?
Or is it felt with the body?
Or perhaps it is felt with both…
But perhaps with neither.
Heart- ache…
It is real.
But yet it is imaginary…
We do cause it to happen.
Yet it does just occur…
The pain is felt in the mind
The pain is felt in the body
Both inside and out
It is felt with both
The pain is worse than all others…
LOVE DEFINED
A heart in flames
The soul is to blame
For the love in one’s mind
Grows stronger through time
Until the day
When the heart may pay
The price of the affair
Which we all, forever dare.
To start with conviction
Praying never for its benediction
3rd Segue…
VIEWS OF AN AGNOSTIC
ALL THE JOYS OF CHRISTMAS
Christmas, quite a joyous time of year
When love is spread both far and near
Christmas, if none other, a time to share
And if nothing to give, then to care
Christmas, in its name so grandiosely dear
People come and go, always spreading cheer
A little girl, she gets a delightful, cuddly stuffed bear
Her brother, a toy gun for which to wreak terror
St. Nick in a Mall, at first held in fear
Then after kind words and a prize, held so dear
With the help of the reindeer in their lair
St. Nick will soar the world over and toys deliver
With the coming of the Season, all shall concelebrate
Friends and relatives into one home will integrate
A feast being prepared, endlessly in our nose the scent we mill
Awaiting the announcement of “Come eat our fill!”
The festivities of the Season we have begun to venerate
Children’s frolicking and parent’s satisfaction, cheerfulness we cannot simulate
Out in the streets the caroling so tranquil
The sweet angelic-like humming almost surreal
Rich, Middle-class and Poor in Christ’s eyes, never desperate
The remembrance of this, to all we must disseminate
The true meaning of Christmas, none should ever quell
If at no other time, with our Creator we can reconcile.
CHRISTMAS 1991
For two years a Christmas poem I have not written
The Christmas Spirit I was unable to get in
All the while believing I had good reason
In 1989 we were kicking druggies out of Panama
In 1990 we had to fight Saddam’s Kuwaiti Martial Law
Now in 1991 we may have to enforce International Law
Though the Season may be tainted by Social Hypocrites
And year after year starvation and poverty persist
This is no reason to forget the true meaning of Christmas
It shouldn’t matter if we are fighting a “just” War
It shouldn’t matter if we are dirt poor
During this time of remembrance we should give even more
The caring and kind-hearted easily understand
The rich and the poor alike should do what they can
For their brothers and sisters; for all of man…
A PRAYER FOR THE WORLD
Mighty King of kings eternal
Oh gracious Lord of lords
Deliver us from all this evil
Deliver us from all these wars
This request in Your eyes
May seem a bit greedy
But it’s a request for the children
A prayer for the desperate and needy
Prayer to You from I is seldom
For this I may never see Your Kingdom
But if this one wish You shall grant
All my sins I will try to give for Lent
Oh Lord, what would it take to end the pain?
To save this world I would suffer great mortification
To save the millions, I would suffer again and again
To see all the children with smiles would be my satisfaction.
MY DESTINY?
Am I evil or divine?
Is this my time
Can I live forever?
Or will I die soon
Do I have a good destiny
Or am I doomed
Am I here to love?
Or to kill
Do I have
A strong enough will?
DEATHBED PRAYER
Now I lay me down to rest
I pray the Lord my soul to test
And if I do not wake before I die
I pray the Lord my soul to try
HIS RETURN?
I haven’t any worries
Everyone to call my own
I haven’t any queries
Everyplace to call my home
I traveled the world
Just to see the light
But I couldn’t find the words
To say what is right
Why can’t the world
Understand all the might?
Can’t you hear my calling:
Can’t you see the pain?
Won’t you save me from falling?
Won’t you save me again?
“It will be a while.
But I will be back….
Just don’t forget to smile,
Then step back.”
THE WORLD FOR A MAN
A bottle of cheap whiskey
A flower, dead several months
Leaves and peddles falling freely
A pack of cigarettes
A small transistor radio
Batteries worn to nonexistence
A dusty nightstand in a far corner
Upon which a World sits
Opening the World…
Lighting the darkened cubicle
Life springs forth
Life never seen but to the Creator
Creator never seen to the world
A world darkened by Man
Man becomes the Demon
The Demon the creator
The world the desolate
Yet life springs from this World…
The flower to life
The radio to song
The whisky to wine
The cigarettes to Cubans
The dust to a Christ
Hope in a world created by darkness
Darkness drowned out by light
Darkness struggles endlessly
A man strives, believes, conquers
FAITH
Questions……
Answers unknown
Problems…
Solutions undefined
Life…
A realm of difficulty
With nowhere to turn
Nowhere to hide
Total darkness
Unyielding to light
Until the Faith of man
Can finally win the fight…
TEMPTATION
I have this cigarette sitting in front of me
Just sitting there
Not really doing much of anything
Just sitting there
Here it goes
No, I can’t
It’s in my hand
No, I mustn’t
It’s in my mouth
No, I shouldn’t
It’s lit
Just smoking
Not really doing much of anything
Just smoking
Temptations given in to
Just smoking?
THE MIRROR OF VALUE
Once in our lives
We must look in the mirror
We won’t see
the loss of hair
We won’t notice the
false food grinders
We won’t pay attention to the
Wrinkles covering our bodies
We won’t even recognize the
Slumping posture we now posses
All we’ll acknowledge is that
our time has finally come
And we will hope that
The time we spent was of value…
RELIGION AS I SAW IT IN 1991
Are we accomplishing what we want to in our lives? Are we truly happy with the results all our efforts have produced? If nothing else in our lives ever goes the way we want it then we should at least have a belief we hold as religious. This belief will guide us through our entire lives, affecting the way we do things, the way we view others and possibly even the way we die.
A religious belief must never be looked at in scorn. If another person does not believe the way we do, does it really matter? Can we do anything about it? They were lead to their decisions by something greater than us. People must be allowed to believe as they wish. If we condemn someone else’s belief, then aren’t we in actuality condemning our own belief? In other words… by condemning another person’s belief we are in essence asking for our own religion to be condemned by others. What is accomplished? Think about it…
4th Segue…
VISIONS OF AN AMERICAN G.I.
BARRACKS BLUES
The barracks….
A place to be hearty
Somewhere to enjoy some beer and music
Basically, a place to party
A knock on my door
A gruff but kind voice asks
“Hey dude, let’s go to room 317.”
“No… no”, I answer. “I’ve got work to the max.”
“Okay, but you’re missing a helluva party.”
With that he leaves me alone
I hear the music and laughter
But I know I must finish this poem
They all say “Let’s go!’
But still I sit with my works in a bundle
For I know there is more to life
Than drinking beer through a funnel
Though I sit here writing
I can’t seem to figure life out, not even a clue
Why this and why that?
I suppose I’ll never know, thus I remain blue
“There is no need to worry.” consoles a friend
“We may never know.”
“But I want to know”, I answer
“Oh to hell with it. Let’s go!’
The barracks…
Faces of old and face of new
A good place to make friends
But not a place to feel blue
G.I. NIGHTLIFE ON GUAM
Sandy You, Tourist, New York
Lest we forgot Texas and Dallas
Naked gentle bodies slithering to and fro
Teasing our manliness
Pleasing our youthfulness
Only one dollar for a special performance
In our drunken state they all are beautiful
Even if they can’t really dance
Drunken Ladies guiding us to pleasure
Though without sufficient funds, never our fill
Beer and spirits always too expensive
But with almost nothing else
This is the life we choose to live
Until we leave this place, it shall remain our realm
Uncaring, we almost pray not to suffer in Hell
Dave says, “The 10-4 should prove satisfying.”
But Brian argues, “Tahiti Ramas is happening.”
“A live band, I suppose?” is the question I ask
Zoli sprouts, “I haven’t all night gibberish to be listening.
Make up your minds, for I haven’t mush gas”.
So after seeing tits and ass
Off we go to enjoy a little dance
Intoxication fills the room
Rest assured we’ll drink our fill before heading home
If one of the bunch is lucky, maybe with some “romance”
RESTLESS NIGHTS
In bed by 9:30 P.M.
Asleep shortly after
Awake at 11:24 P.M.
My roommate, quietly does enter
Fading off again…
Disrupted by the flick of the light
It is now 11:31 P.M.
The question of “Are you eating midnight chow?”
“No… I told Pete that earlier this night.”
“Oh … sorry to have awaken you.”
“No problem”… I can’t sleep now.
Thinking now of poetry
Out of bed at 11:43 P.M.
To write this so as not to forget
An orange I will now eat… 11:58.
Having read an essay by Joe Sachs
And smoking several cigarettes
I must once again try to rest
The time is 1:24 A.M.
Once again I am awake
This time it is 1:58
My roommate rudely does snore
Dreamland I shall never restore….
A beer and a brownie I shall consume
Then sleep I will once
again try to resume.
SLEEPING POLITICIAN
As I sleep…
My head rolls to the left
As I awake…
I force it to the right
MAILBOX
Being away from home
Can be terribly lonely
Especially if the mailbox
Is without necessary correspondence
My roommate when asked
When his box is empty
How do you feel?
“Lonely… but yet I’m hopeful.”
My roommate when asked
When his box contains something
How do you feel?
“Happy … but I’m curious.”
My roommate when asked
When the something is actually nothing
How do you feel?
“Neglected… and I’m also disappointed.”
We all feel the same, in one way or another
But we all know we’ll get mail one day
Even when the rest of the year may pass
We feel our families won’t desert our birthdays
As for me
When my box is empty
How do I feel?
Weary … and upset slightly
As for me
When my box contains something
How do I feel?
Joyful… but yet concerned
As for me
When something is actually nothing
How do I feel?
Hurt.. And if a bill… more ways then one!
The mailbox is like a quiet shrine
We worship its existence all the time
If empty, somewhere to let loose tension
If full, someplace for reclination
PEACE
Peace…
We dream it
But do we live it?
We don’t fight
But are we at Peace?
Peace…
We pray for it
But why do we not live it?
We don’t declare war
But are we at Peace?
Peace…
We wish it upon one another
But why do we take it away from them?
We must live it
For we shall perish without it!
THE PRICE OF FREEDOM
What is the price of freedom; how much more?
Saddam Hussein
How Sadly Insane
A man with a demented brain
His kind shall never rule again:
The people of Iraq
The Coalition must regretfully attack
For the sole purpose of pushing Saddam back
The oppressed from their country must flee
The people of the world must be set free
Simply enough, the price of freedom is war
PEACE … THROUGH SLEEP?
Peace is a rather intriguing word. In order to truly have Peace we must first be at Peace with ourselves. Since this seems to be nearly impossible in today’s society, then maybe we should change the way society is. Do we really have to have all these things that make us unhappy? Do we really need the things that our greed tells us we must have? The realization that the world is going to end soon if we do not obtain Peace should be frightening enough to make us all not want the things that destroy Peace… but unfortunately this is not so. We strive endlessly for all sorts of things to satisfy our insatiable desires, when in fact… if we were to think about it… the desire that drives all the rest of these desires is Peace within ourselves. The trouble is that we can’t see the forest through the trees.
My only words to express how I feel about this never ending War within ourselves and thus upon others is that we must awaken but yet retain the thoughts of our sleep. Truly… think about it…
NO WAR ANYMORE
Do not cry for Me
I have been set free
Do not let your eyes grow Red
Just for the sake that I am Dead
This morning they shot me Down
But there is no reason to wear a Frown
They can’t hurt me anymore
For, now I am out of the War…
SENSELESS KILLING REALIZED
The G.I.s in boot camp
No longer shall they drill
The ones in the field
They shall not kill
They have finally seen
The Light
It is senseless
To fight!
G.I. HOLIDAYS
A low lullaby
Sung by a tender tenor
Sweetly the child fades
Dreaming of toys, Santa, sweets and cakes
While in a musky, smoke-filled room
GI’s are occupied in a game of “Spades”
Getting through the no-family gloom
Praising the birth of Christ in their own emotional ways
To a group of GI’s in Germany
It might be downright Drunk ‘N” Disorderly
Thank Lord Jesus it’s annually
Neither weekly, nor even quarterly
Our families back home
They will think of their sons and daughters alone
Hoping and praying for their children a joyous season
Wondering why they’re gone, yet knowing the reason
We celebrate to our utmost in the dormitory
Realizing it is not quite holy
But we accomplish our tasks of spreading cheer fully
At this time we could never deny someone a beer… coldly
Bordering on death during the birth of life
May war never come to be our strife
Peace on our world; love towards man
GI’s all, pray solemnly; amen
DYSENTERY IN DIYARBAKIR
The sweat on my body sticks
From this I get no kicks
The air is deathly still
Nausea in my stomach stirs; I’m ill
Dysentery is no friend of mine
The only good cure is time
MRE’s, the only thing to eat
Don’t taste too bad, but smell of rotten feet!
I would eat at the chow hall…
But that’s where dysentery was given to us all
I need a shave and a shower…
But I have to shit every quarter hour
Sleep all day, but still very tired
I want to blame the workers at the dysentery diner
Drink plenty of liquids, BUT NO BEER!!
This news brings, to my eye, a tiny tear
Maybe I’ll be able to work tomorrow
For without my beer, I’m filled with sorrow
Getting dysentery in “Toon Town” is no treat
But because of my beer, this disease I shall beat!
If you’re like me and care about your beer.
Please don’t get dysentery in Diyarbakir…
5th Segue…
PSYCHOLOGICALLY PHILOSOPHICAL POEMOTIONS
NO PRIDE FOR ME
I don’t wish to make
Anyone proud of me
Not Father, friend, nor instructor
I only wish to do well
For all the world to enjoy
If pride
Gets in the way
Disappointment may arise
And enjoyment will
Never come about…
UNKNOWN
People…
Persons…
Parts of them
Unknown…
Feelings…
Emotions…
Values… and
Convictions…
Unknown to the
Beholder…
RIGHT OR WRONG
Who’s to say what’s
Wrong and what’s Right
When Right could be Wrong
And Wrong could be Right…
PAIN
Protection from ourselves
Sensations strong as Atlas
Emotional or physical
This is pain….
UNBELIEVABLY INCONCEIVABLE
What is unbelievable
Is not always inconceivable
But what is inconceivable
Can be believable…
CAMOUFLAGED
Things aren’t always
As they seem
And those that are
May not be
As one wants them…
DO OR DON’T CONDEMN?
Do not
Condemn
What is not held in
Appreciation
For you may find
That your condemnation
Was actually
Benediction…
SIMPLICITY
Nothing is more Complex
Than the Simple
For in order to have Complexity
One must have Simplicity
NOTHING
Everything is
Nothing as all, and
Nothing is
Nonexistent
But it dwells
Wherever I go….
THOUGHTS
What should I be doing?
Should I play all day?
Dance the world away?
Should I work all night?
Make the thinkers feel right?
Should I pray to God?
Perhaps… but to which should I pray?
Pray to any but one:
And yearn to be put away?
Should I try to be the best?
If so, at what measure?
I would do it for the rest
Not for my pleasure
For my pleasure is not my own
But is taught to me….
Am I not a mere extension
Of the person who taught me?
Did not Satan succeed in planting
The roots of evil in me from the beginning?
The beginning of what my only hope for purity
Is to abandon the inner self emotional;
Abandon all thoughts rational?
INSIDE
The feelings in a person
Can deceive that person nature
The way people act
Can deceive that person’s true feelings
A person’s nature
May prevent him from doing what he wishes
And a person’s wishes
Might even cause harm upon that person…
HUMANITY
Humanity is the force
Of which we are made
But yet we have
Created it…
Humanity is for our benefit
But if we do not
Treat it with respect
It will destroy us
Through ourselves.
LIFE
If one were not to truly exist
One would not be alive
Therefore
Life is mere existence…
So live life
Experience existence
SPREAD HAPPINESS
If one is happy
With one’s life first
Happiness can better
Be spread to others…
FOREVER
Everything all the time, always happening
An Undefined period of time
Un-resting indefinitely
Always, Forever…
TIME CHANGING
If time were predestined
Then time could be changed
For if time were predestined
Then seeing into the future
Could be accomplished with ease…
If seeing into the future could occur…
Time then, would work through Entropy
Chaos being the only result…
MINUTES
Minutes they pass
One after the other
Minutes they pass
Lost in time forever
A minute may
See as a second
A minute may
Seem as an hour
But a minute
Is a minute
No shorter…
No longer…
LISTENING TO MY AWAKENING
I am listening
Listening to the silence
Silence so loud
Awakening my mind
I am listening
Listening to understand
Understand thoughts
Awakening my mind
I am listening
Listening with eyes
Eyes that see gestures
Awakening my mind
I am listening
Listening to pay attention
Pay attention to new ideas
Awakening my mind
I have listened
I am listening
I will continue to listen
To the awakening of my mind…
POT OF GOLD
The Past was full of Rain
The Present has the sun shining
The Future holds a Rainbow
Look for your Pot of Gold…
TO WANT ISN’T TO GET
I want, want, want
Is this human nature
Or a flaw of my own making?
Nonetheless; I don’t get, get, get…
THE PRICE WE PAY
It will all end one day
So we must pray
We do not mind the price
We had to pay…
GREED
Greed is the strongest
Emotion, feeling, or state of mind
That any person can
Have or be in
Love is based on Greed
In order to love someone
One must want that person
(Or a part of that person)
Wanting is
In deeds
A form of
Greed…
REALITY
Reality is merely
A state of mind
In which people periodically
Snap into….
DREAMING
Dreaming is what we wish to happen
What we wish not to happen
What we could possibly make happen
But yet, too afraid to attempt…
REGRETS PREVENT DREAMS
One must not regret, but rather
Learn from experiences
For, if one regrets, then
One will not try to succeed
For fear of making mistakes
And dreams will never come true…
Download this book for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-110 show above.)